You Belong With Me
by sarebearr89
Summary: Alex Gaskarth and Taylor Swift have been best friends since they were two years old. They have helped each other through hard times such as loss and heartbreak, but is their friendship strong enough to survive when one falls for the other?


**Chapter 1: Nothing Can Tear Us Apart**

_Taylor's P.O.V.  
_  
Alex and I have been best friends for pretty much our whole lives. He has always been my confidant, my savior, my rock. No matter what, I always knew I could turn to him and he would always be there for me. I would not know myself without him. No matter what happens, he will always be a big part of my life.

Even though I was only two years-old when we met, I remember the day pretty well. I had no idea how much he would change my life.

*FLASHBACK*

"Taylor, Honey, don't do that! Stay still!" my mother scolded. I could not stop squirming trying to get out of my car seat. My parents and I had been in the car for I don't know how many hours. My dad's job got relocated, so we had to move from Nashville, Tennessee to Lutherville-Timonium, Maryland. If you think a really long car ride is hard for an adult, it's even harder for a two year-old. . I looked down at my little baby pink dress and white shoes and started to cry. I was tired and I was hungry and I was bored of all the games I brought to play in the car. My whole body was stiff from sitting for so long.

"Mommy, wh-when can we get out of the c-caw?" I whined through my tears. I had been talking for a year now, but I still had trouble pronouncing my R's.

"Soon, Sweetie. We're almost there, I promise." My dad was driving and my mom was sitting in the front seat, so she reached back and put a comforting hand on my leg.  
"My body weally huwts though!" I continued to wail.

"I know, Honey. Just hang in there for a few more minutes," responded my dad. "When we get to our new house, I promise I will make everything feel all better. Right now, Mommy and I need you to be a good girl for just a few more minutes so that we can figure out where we are going. Can you do that?"

"Ok," I sad grudgingly and folded my little arms across my chest.

After what seemed like forever, but was probably only about five minutes, we finally made a turn into a residential neighborhood. My dad drove slowly down the street trying to find our new address. We ultimately stopped at a medium-sized baby blue colonial-style house with a white wrap-around porch. To my enjoyment, there was a porch swing in the front of the house. The moving truck pulled into the driveway and my dad pulled up to the curb.

"Here we are at our new home sweet home!" my dad said as he got out of the car. He opened the back door, unbuckled me from my car seat, and lifted me out of the car. He took my hand and walked me over to the sidewalk beside my mom.

"Alex, Honey, no!" At this, I looked up and saw a boy with big brown eyes and messy brown hair running toward me. He was the exact clone of his mother, who was chasing after him in heels. As he ran, he tried desperately to take off his shirt; it appeared that he did not much like wearing clothes. He looked around to see how close his mother was, but then he bumped straight into my father and me.

"Whoa, slow down there, Slugger" Dad said as he grabbed the boy's shoulders so that he would not fall backward.

"Alexander William Gaskarth, you are in big trouble, Young Man!" his mother stormed as she approached us. She grabbed her son's hand then looked at my father and gave him an apologetic smile. "I am so sorry. He's not usually this rambunctious."

"Don't worry about it," Dad responded. "My wife and I have our hands full with this little one, so I know how you feel." When he said "this little one", he looked down at me and smiled.  
For the first time, the woman looked at our front lawn and realized that we were moving in. "Oh you must be my new neighbors! I'm Melanie Gaskarth and this is my son, Alex."

"So nice to meet you, Melanie! I am Barbara Swift and this is my husband, David, and my daughter, Taylor."

"Welcome to the neighborhood. Where are you guys moving from?"

"We're originally from Nashville, but my job got relocated, so we had to move" answered my father.

At this point, since I was a little girl who was not very interested in jobs just yet, I stopped listening to what the adults were saying and turned my attention to the boy in front of me. I could tell he was bored just standing here too. He looked around and found a brown leaf on the ground. He threw it up in the air and watched it float down into his hands. I decided I wanted to try too, so I did the same thing. He looked over at me with a sense of curiosity in his eyes. I guess he had never really been around a girl his age before, so he did not really know what to expect. Being an only child, I could say the same thing myself.

"What's youw name?" he asked me. I guess he couldn't pronounce his R's either.

"I'm Taylow, what's youw name?"

"Awix. Do you want to go pway in my backyawd?"

I nodded and so he took my hand and led me into his big backyard. The adults seemed to be too wrapped up in their conversation, so they did not even notice as we left. In their backyard, they had pretty much everything a little kid could want: a set of swings, a jungle-gym including a slide and monkey bars, a plastic car that a little kid could drive on the deck, and a big space to run around in. The car looked very alluring to me; I had wanted one when I saw it in the toy store, but my parents said I was too young to have one. Alex must have read my mind because he led me straight to it.

"Do you want to dwive?" he asked.

"No thank you," I answered politely. I climbed into the passenger side and he started driving the car all around the porch. For some reason, neither of us could stop screaming and laughing.

A few minutes later, our parents seemed to realize that we weren't with them. All three of them ran frantically into the backyard searching for us. When they saw us, Melanie walked up to the deck and stopped the car.

"Alex, you know better than to wonder away from Mommy" she scolded as she lifted him out of the car and held him securely on her hip.

"Taylor, that was very bad of you. You never, ever walk away from us like that!" my own mother said as she also lifted me out of the car and held me to her hip.

"Sowwy, Mommy," Alex and I said at the same time.

"Well, isn't that cute?" laughed my dad. "It seems like our kids have become friends already."

"Why don't you stay for dinner? I'm sure you guys are tired from your long drive and you might not feel like going out again," suggested Melanie.

"Are you sure we're not imposing?" my mom asked.

"No, of course not! Plus, it would be a great opportunity to get to know each other better. You still have to meet my husband and my other son. They are at soccer practice right now, but they will be back soon."

"As long as you are sure," responded my dad. Melanie insisted that we eat with her and her family, so she led us inside and up to Alex's room so that we could play while the adults continued to talk about boring topics that I did not understand. A few minutes later, we heard the front door open and close from downstairs.

"Hello? Honey, we're home!" a deep male voice traveled up the stairs.

"DADDY!" Alex shouted and bounded down the steps into his father's arms. "I missed you, Daddy."

Mr. Gaskarth laughed and said, "I missed you too, Little Man." Then, he looked up and saw the rest of us standing at the top of the steps. He looked at his wife with a question in his eyes.

"Robert, these are our new neighbours, David, Barbara, and Taylor Swift," said Melanie. "This is my husband, Robert and my other son, Eric. The Swifts are going to stay for dinner so that we can get to know them better." When she mentioned there was another boy there, my eyes searched and found a tall, timid boy with bright blue eyes and blond hair hiding behind his father and smiling shyly at me. Judging by his height, he was a few years older than Alex and me. Then, I looked up at his father and noticed that there was very little difference in terms of looks between Eric and his father. It seemed Alex was the spitting image of their mother and Eric was the spitting image of their father.

"Great! It's nice to meet you," said Robert brightly. "Our last neighbours weren't so nice, so hopefully it will be better this time."

"Oh, I just know it will all work out," said my mom. "I have a good feeling about this."

While the adults went to get dinner ready, Alex, Eric, and I were allowed to go upstairs and play. I remembered feeling completely at ease. At that age, most girls would not have wanted to play with boys, but I welcomed the change because I did not have anyone else to play with. I never had any siblings and Alex and Eric were my first friends. That night, my parents let me sleep next to Alex in his crib. Neither of us was big enough for a bed yet and my crib was not set up in my new room yet.

Ever since that first night, our families have pretty much merged into one. We spent every single holiday together and had dinner together at least twice a week. If Eric had a soccer game or I had a dance recital, we would all go. Melanie and Robert thought of me as their daughter and my parents thought of Alex and Eric as their sons. We were inseparable; nothing could tear us apart.

**Chapter 2: Peter Pan and Tinker Bell**

_Taylor's P.O.V._

Fifteen years later, Alex and I are still as close as ever. We have never been apart for more than a few days at a time. Whenever one of us needs to talk, we would pick up the phone and call the person, no matter what time it is. He is the only person I have not kept any secrets from, the only person that truly knows me inside and out. We even have keys to each other's houses so that we can come and go as we please. Sure, we have our occasional arguments, but usually one of us apologizes in one way or another five minutes later. We can never stay mad at each other for long, no matter how hard we try. Don't get me wrong, Alex and I definitely had our differences. For example, my parents grew up in the south, so I was brought up on Reba McEntire, Dolly Parton, and Tim McGraw. He grew up on Green Day, Led Zeppelin, and Blink-182. I almost never curse, but every other word that comes out of his mouth is a cuss word. Somehow, we learned to put aside our differences and just accept each other for who we were.

I was running around my room attempting to get ready for tomorrow. Tomorrow would be a big day for Alex and me: the first day of our senior year of high school. What a scary thought. Being the girly girl I was, I of course had to make sure I had the perfect first-day-of-school outfit. Clothes were all over my queen-size bed. I like to lay my outfits out so that I can see how the shirt goes with the pants or skirt or how a dress would look. I stood over my bed with my hand under my chin trying to decide which outfit to wear. Eventually, I gave up and walked over to the big window to the side of my bed.

When we had first settled into this house, my parents let me choose which room I wanted to have. I went into each room and weighed the advantages and disadvantages. When they brought me into this room, the first thing I had noticed was the window and what I could see out of it. The first time I looked out of it, I saw Alex playing with Eric next door. They must have sensed that I was looking at them, so they both looked out their window and smiled at me. I knew I wanted that room right away; if I couldn't always be with Alex, at least I would always be able to see him.

As I looked out the window now, I saw that he was trying to pack his backpack for school tomorrow. From the way he was walking, he seemed to be stressed about something. I went over to my desk and took out my laser and white marker board. I flashed the bright laser two times towards his window. That was our signal. We found that this was a good way to grab someone's attention, so whenever one of us needed to talk, he or I would just flash some kind of a bright light two times across the way. When he saw the flashing light, he looked over at me.

**Is everything ok? You seem stressed,** I wrote on the white marker board. I turned it over so that he could see what I wrote.

He went over to his desk to get his white board and wrote, **Yeah, I just can't find my cell phone. Call it for me?**

I took my cell phone out of my pocket and found his number. I laughed as he realized that it was on his nightstand the whole time.

"I'm such an idiot," he said answering the phone.

"Yeah you kind of are," I laughed. "I have a favour to ask you though."

"And why should I help you after you just insulted me?"

"Hey you admitted that you were an idiot. The only thing I did was agree with you. And of course you should help me because I'm your best friend and best friends help each other."

"Yeah whatever." He pretended to be offended, but I could always tell when he was serious or when he was kidding. "What do you need?"

"Can you come over and help me pick out my outfit? I don't know what to wear."  
When I said this, he burst out laughing.

"What's so funny?" I asked.

"You make it sound like I'm one of the girls and that I'm going to come over and we're going to do our nails and hair and makeup and then go stare at ourselves in the mirror."

"What? You are the closest thing I have to a brother and my parents aren't home, so I really do not have anyone else to turn to. I need opinions! Plus, you usually give me pretty good fashion advice."

"If you promise me that you will never say that sentence out loud again, then I will come over."

"Ok, I promise not to tell you that you have good fashion sense" I replied laughing.

"Good. That sentence could very easily have brought down my manly pride. See you soon." He hung up his phone and exited his room. Two minutes later, I heard my front door open and he came up the stairs. "Ok so what are our choices?" he asked as he came into my room and walked over to my bed.

"I was thinking maybe this brown dress that's above the knee with my brown wedge sandals or maybe this purple ruffled shirt with black pants and black sandals. There's also this blue skirt with a white shirt or tank top and white sandals. What do you think?" I showed him each outfit as I described it.

Instead of answering me right away, he walked over to my closet and started looking through it. He pulled out the exact same ruffled shirt, but this time it was in blue. "You should go with the shirt and pants, but instead of purple, you should wear blue. It brings out your bright blue eyes. The white shirt and blue skirt are too summery for school and the brown dress is too formal. You would look like you're trying too hard."

"Hmmm, you know that's not a bad idea! Thanks a lot, Garth!"

"No problem, Swifter."

Ok so you're probably wondering where the hell those nicknames came from. Let me explain. One day, I was at his house and we were watching "Wayne's World" on TV. You know you are in trouble when your mother screams your full name. Apparently, Alex had forgotten to clean his room, so Melanie got angry and yelled at him. While he was upstairs cleaning, I was watching the movie and thinking that if you take the "ask" out of "Gaskarth", you are simply left with "Garth". Not to mention the fact that Alex loved wearing flannel just like Garth Algar. When he came back downstairs, I told him of my realization and he laughed. Next thing we knew, it was time for commercials and the first one that came on was a commercial for swifter wet-jets. Hence you have the names Garth and Swifter.

I laid the outfit on my chair so that it would not get mixed up with other clothing and he helped me to put the rest of my clothes away. Once my room was clean once again, he threw himself onto my bed and let out a long, exasperated sigh. I lay down beside him and turned to face him. "Are you sure you're ok?" I asked. "You don't seem like yourself."

He let out another long sigh before answering. "I don't really know what it is. For some reason, I'm really fucking nervous for school tomorrow and I don't know why."

"I know what you mean," I responded. "I'm pretty nervous too. I can't seem to stop thinking about what comes after high school. I constantly ask myself what I want to do. Do I want to go to college and, if so, where do I want to go? What if I make the wrong decision? The whole situation is stressful and scary."

"I've always wanted to know what it would be like to be Peter Pan, just to be a kid forever and have no worries or responsibilities. He had Wendy, Tinker Bell, and he had the Lost Boys. They were all he needed to be happy. That would be the best kind of life anyone could ask for."

"Yes, but you are leaving out one very important fact. At the end of the movie, Wendy and the Lost Boys went home. She decided to grow up and left Peter Pan and her childhood out in the dust. The only one he had left was Tinker Bell. He needed her to make him fly."

"Good point. Will you do me a favour, then?"

"Whatever you need."

"Will you be my Tinker Bell? I don't think I can fly without you."

"As long as you are my Peter Pan."

"Deal," he said smiling at me. Even though a lot of time has passed since I first met him, his looks really have not changed that much. He still had those big puppy dog brown eyes that were so easy to stare into indefinitely and his brown hair was still a mess on top of his head. The only real difference in his appearance was that he grew to be very tall and now he wore a lot of flannel shirts and skinny jeans and a beanie to cover up his messy hair when he did not feel like straightening it. Sometimes, I just wanted to take that beanie and throw it out the window because he wore it so damn much. It's a good thing I had a strong sense of self control.

All this talk of the future began to make me feel anxious.

"Hey, Alex?"

"Mmmm?"

"What if our dreams don't come true? What will we do?"

*FLASHBACK*

"Quiet down please, class," Mr. Mertha, the music teacher, yelled over us as we all found our seats. Alex and I had this class together and there was no assigned seating, so we always made sure to sit together in the same two seats in the back and close to the window every day.

The teacher waited until the class finally grew silent before he spoke again; eighth graders could be pretty damn talkative. "Today, we will begin to learn how to play the guitar." That one simple sentence was all it took for the class to start chattering excitedly again; this had been the day everyone had been waiting for. We would finally get to play an instrument hands-on. Again, he waited for us to become silent and then he instructed us to go pick out which guitar we wanted. Of course, the only guitars available were acoustic, so it's not like we had much choice in the matter anyway. Once we all returned to our seats, he told us the correct way to hold the guitar. Then, he proceeded to tell us the names of the different strings and demonstrated how different each one sounded. For the last ten minutes of class, he let us strum random melodies on the guitar so that we would have the opportunity to experiment.

Before that day, music had just been another class to me, nothing special. After that day, it was all I could ever think about. The guitar held a strong interest to me. I couldn't even find the right words to explain it. Every time I played, I had this feeling in my stomach like this is what I was meant to do in some way or another. Mr. Mertha always used me as an example in class because I seemed to be the one that was catching on the quickest.

The only one besides Alex, I mean. He seemed to enjoy playing it just as much as I did. Every time he would learn a good tune, his whole face would light up. I could tell that this one little instrument and its beautiful sounds made him just as happy as it did me. One day, we even asked Mr. Mertha if we could come after school just to play. By the end of the school year, we were better than some students who had been playing the guitar for years.  
That winter, we both begged our parents to buy us acoustic guitars for Christmas. Luckily, we both got our wish and opened brand shiny new acoustic guitars for the holidays. Every day after that, we would pick a house to meet at and practice playing different songs. The first song we taught ourselves was "Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life)" by Green Day. Since we were only beginners, it took us about two weeks straight to learn the song perfectly.

One day, Alex and I were playing the song through for about the billionth time. Without realizing what I was doing, I began to sing the song. He was looking down at his hands playing the instrument, but, when he heard the sound of my voice, he looked up with amazement in his eyes.

"_Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road  
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go  
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why  
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time.  
It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right-_

Wait, Alex, why are you staring at me like that?" I stopped playing and singing abruptly as I caught sight of his face. It looked like his eyes were about to pop out of his head.

"Tay, your voice is absolutely amazing. You need to sing more."

"Nah, that could not have been good. I have never even practiced that before and my voice is all messed up from when I was sick last week."

"No, seriously, Taylor, that was unbelievable."

"Oh, well uh thanks," I awkwardly replied. I could not stop myself from blushing.

"You should really sing for your parents and see what they say."

"No, I don't think so. I generally don't sing in front of people. I kind of forgot you were here and just started singing."

"Sing that verse for me again."

"Alex-" I whined.

"Taylor, your voice is beautiful. I'm not going to let you waste your talent just because you are afraid to sing in front of people. I'm your best friend, which means that you get to do things in front of me that you would not do in front of other people. I promise, I won't let you down. Now, please sing for me," he pleaded.

"Ok fine, but under one condition: you have to sing with me."

"Fine. If that's what it takes to get you to sing, I'll do it. One, two, three," he counted off.

"_Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road  
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go  
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why  
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time.  
It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.  
I hope you had the time of your life,"_ I sang.

I left the next verse to Alex.

"_So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind  
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time  
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial  
For what it's worth it was worth all the while_

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.  
I hope you had the time of your life."

We finished out the song together with the mix of our voices creating a beautiful harmony.

"_It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.  
I hope you had the time of your life._

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.  
I hope you had the time of your life."

When the song was over, we just silently stared at each other in bewilderment. Neither of us had any idea of the kind of magic our voices could create together. It gave me chills up and down my arms.

"That was... that was... I don't even know how to describe it," he finally said.

"I know," I agreed breathlessly.

After that, every single time we played a song, we sang it together too. A few months later, Mr. Mertha held auditions to perform at the eighth grade graduation. Against my will, Alex signed us up for an audition; he was not going to take no for an answer. The teacher immediately told us that we would be performing and I felt my stomach start to get queasy. The thought of singing in front of all my family and friends and people I didn't know made me feel sick. Of course Alex noticed my anxiousness, so he kept on reminding me that he was going to be right there by my side the whole time and that, if I made a mistake, he would be there to make up for it. He was not going to let me fail. Nothing I did or said could talk him out of the performance though.

I got absolutely no sleep the night before our graduation, which was to be expected. When it was time to wake up, I went straight to the toilet to throw up my nerves. Surprisingly, after my temporary illness, I felt somewhat better. If I wasn't going to get up there and perform for myself, I was at least going to do it for Alex because that's what he wanted. Alex was the most important person in my life and I would do anything for that boy.

Of course, Alex's and my family drove over together, all seven of us stuffed into Robert's van. It was a family affair, after all. Robert dropped Alex and I off before going to park the car with the rest of the family because we had to be there early to get ready. Alex grabbed my hand and squeezed it as we entered the building.

One hour later, Alex and I overheard Mr. Mertha introducing us to the crowd. "We can do this," Alex whispered in my ear as we began to walk on to the stage. We picked up the guitars that were left for us and sat down in the chairs they had set up for us near the microphones in the center of the stage. I gulped loudly then leaned closer to the microphone, making sure to keep my eyes glued to Alex's encouraging smile. I took a deep breath and began to sing. The song went on without a hitch and Alex and I continued to make beautiful music together. Arguably one of the best moments of my life was when the last cord of the song faded out. I finally turned my face to the audience. At first, there was complete silence, but then, one by one, people stood up clapping and cheering for us; we got a standing ovation. I think that was the moment when Alex and I realized that we wanted to do this for the rest of our lives.

*END OF FLASHBACK*

"If our dreams don't come true, then at least we will have each other," he said. "We will always have each other and that's all that matters." He pulled me closer and held me in his arms. After a few minutes, I fell asleep in his arms.

**Chapter 3: The Start of a Brand New Life**

_Alex's P.O.V._

Slowly and unwillingly, I opened my eyes. I was surprised to find myself still in Taylor's bed. I guess we must have fallen asleep together last night. I looked at her face in a peaceful slumber and listened to her deep, regular breathing. Her long blond hair was all over the pillow behind her face. She was laying on her side facing me curled up into a ball. She always looked so beautiful when she slept. I could not take my eyes off of her; I loved watching her sleep.

Then, it dawned on me. I turned my head towards the alarm clock on her nightstand.

"FUCK!"

I got right out of bed. Taylor began to stir. "Alex, what is it?" she asked as she opened her eyes.

"It's 7:30! We overslept! School starts in half an hour! We fell asleep before we remembered to set the alarm."

"Oh shit!" she exclaimed which surprised me because usually it takes a lot to get her to curse. She got her clothes together and ran into the bathroom.

"I'm going home to get ready. I should be back to get you in like fifteen minutes, so try to be ready," I screamed through the closed door.

"Ok I'll try," she said and I left. I ran back to my house and up to my room and immediately started getting changed. I decided to wear a blue flannel shirt unbuttoned and a plain white shirt under it with a pair of black skinny jeans and chucks. Considering I did not have the chance to take a shower, the beanie was a necessity. I took a quick look in the mirror to make sure I didn't look like a hobo, grabbed my backpack, and ran back out of the house. Taylor and I decided that we would carpool to school, so I quickly jumped in my car, started it up, and pulled up to her house. Five minutes later, she came running out the door, her blond hair flying wildly behind her and her glasses almost falling off the bridge of her nose. She usually wears contacts, but I guess she didn't have enough time to put them in this morning. I looked at the clock: 7:50. We now had ten minutes to get to school.

As soon as she got in, I jammed my foot down on the accelerator and we were off.

"FUCK!" I screamed, jamming on the brakes. "Why can't these assholes move?" When we got onto the highway, we got stuck in a huge traffic jam. Oh the joys of rush hour. If you can't tell already, I have really bad road rage.

"Alex, calm down" Taylor said laughing. For some reason, she always found my road rage to be hysterical. "It's not worth getting into an accident just to get to school on time."

I pulled up a little bit and then touched down on the brakes again. "Damn it! We're never going to get there in this traffic!"

"Chill. They can't be mad at us for being late. It's only the first day. It's not like they are going to give us detention or something."

"But being late on the first day makes a bad first impression."

"Yeah says the boy who takes like an hour in the shower and then another half an hour just straightening his hair. You're always late!"

"But that doesn't mean I don't still hate it."

After what seemed like forever, the cars in front of us finally started to move. We finally arrived at school at 8:05, only five minutes late, which wasn't bad considering the circumstances. Taylor and I ran into the school and split up. Homeroom classes were assigned alphabetically and G and S were nowhere near each other in the alphabet. I was completely out of breath by the time I ran into the classroom.

"Nice of you to show up, Mr. Gaskarth. You're lucky I didn't hand in my attendance yet."

"I'm really sorry, Mr. Hall. I ran into traffic on the way here. There was an accident on the highway."

"Just go sit down." Great. I had already managed to piss off my homeroom teacher and it was only the first day. I found a desk in the third row and sat down. I had this sixth sense that someone was staring at me, so I turned around. What I saw took my breath away again.

Sitting behind me was one of the most beautiful girls I had ever seen. She had golden brown eyes and long, layered reddish brown hair to match them. Her pale skin brought out the utter beauty of her face and the redness of her full lips. She was completely captivating. I had never seen anyone so perfect.

Katelyn Gander.

She was the richest, most popular girl in school. As cliché as it might sound, she also happened to be the head cheerleader. Her family moved here from Long Island a few years ago and her father owned a marketing company in Baltimore. She probably had everyone she knew wrapped around her tiny little finger. Damn.

"Hey, Alex."

I froze. Did she really just talk to me or was I dreaming?

"What's up?"

She's definitely talking to me. Holy shit.

"Uhm h-hi," I stammered out like a moron. "Nothing really. How about you?"

"Oh, nothing. I'm just sad that summer has to be over so soon. It went by so fast. I can't believe we're already seniors."

"Yeah, I know what you mean," I agreed. My voice still sounded weird to me, too high. "It's weird to know that this is our last year in high school. Our last summer in high school is officially over."

"Did you at least have fun while it lasted though?" she asked.

I thought back at my summer of being a lifeguard at a pool during the day and occasionally playing random shows with Taylor at night or going to parties thrown by friends. "Yeah," I said. "It was definitely a great summer. What about you?"

"It was amazing. I went to the beach and out with my friends a lot. It was very relaxing. So I heard that you and your girlfriend used to play at some small venues at night sometimes. Is that true?"

"Taylor is not my girlfriend. We are just friends, but, yes, we did play together a lot," I answered. I thought about what she had just said. Taylor my girlfriend? The idea of it was like incest. She was practically my sister. On the other hand, maybe I could see how some people would think that. After all, Taylor and I were together at every opportunity we had. People were bound to notice that.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you two were together because you're practically attached at the hip."

RRRRRIIIINNNGGG!

"Walk me to class?" she asked and I nodded. Once we were in the hallway, she said, "You know, Alex, I would really love to get to know you better."

"Yeah, me too. We should hang out sometime."

"That sounds great. And maybe you can sing for me. I heard you're amazing," she said in an alluring, flirtatious voice.

"Uhm yeah," I said breathlessly. I could feel myself reacting involuntarily to what she just said and the way she said it. I realized I didn't have any books to hide what was currently happening in my pants. That couldn't be good.

We reached her classroom. "So I guess I will see you later," she said. For some reason, my brain refused to form coherent words, so I just nodded. Her eyes roamed down my body and she smiled. I could feel my face getting hot.

Fuck.

Thankfully, the bell rang signaling the beginning of class, so I did not have to endure the embarrassment for that long. My classroom was right next to hers, so I walked in and sat down next to my other best friend, Jack Barakat.

"Hey, Dude, what's with you?" he whispered immediately as I sat down.

"You are never going to believe what just happened," I responded. I proceeded to tell him about Katelyn. When I got to the part about my boner, he had to cover his mouth to stop himself from laughing out loud.

"Katelyn Gander? Damn. You lucky asshole," he said as soon as I was done. "She totally wants to suck your dick." I could always count on Jack to put things in perspective.

Forty minutes later, my first class was finished. Jack and I happened to have a lot of classes together this year, so we were walking to our next class when I felt someone jump on my back. I turned around to find Taylor smiling brightly at me.

"Hey, Stranger," she said. "How was your first class?"

"Boring of course. Thank God I have Jack to keep me occupied," I responded.

"Jack!" she exclaimed and ran over to give him a hug. "I've missed you! How are you, Barakuda?" Her and her nicknames...

"I'm lovely, Darling, and how are you? I've missed you too." Taylor and I had met Jack in our freshman year when we all had a class together. He had gone to a private school before then, so he did not know anyone. We randomly started talking to him on the first day and we've all been friends ever since. We were the three musketeers. Jack had been on vacation in California for the past few weeks, so it's been awhile since we've seen him.

"I'm great now that you're back," she said.

"Glad I could help. How has your day been so far?"

"Pretty boring. School sucks."

"You can say that again," I said.

"Anyway, I'd better go. I just wanted to say hi. I'll see you guys at lunch," she said as she gave us each one last hug and then walked away.

Before lunch, I went to my locker to put some of my books away.

"Hey, Alex." I turned to see Katelyn standing right next to my locker. Oh shit. I hoped she did not know the effect she had on me.

"What's up?" I asked, trying to sound casual, but not entirely succeeding.

"I was wondering if you wanted to come eat lunch with me. We can get to know each other better," she said, throwing that dazzling smile at me.

"Y-yeah I'd love to," I responded. Why couldn't I ever speak clearly around her? "Would it be ok if Jack and Taylor sit with us though? I always sit with them."

She took a step closer to me so that our faces were almost touching. "If you don't mind, I'd prefer if we sat by ourselves," she said in a sweet voice. "That way we have no interruptions."

"Uh yeah that sounds great." I completely forgot about Taylor and Jack. She took my hand and I followed her into the cafeteria. The only thing I could focus on was the beautiful girl in front of me. At the moment, nothing else mattered.

**Chapter 4: Unexpected Feelings**

_Taylor's P.O.V._

As soon as I got into the cafeteria, I saw Jack standing in line for food. He was pretty hard to miss with his black band hoodie with the hood over his Orioles hat and his bright red skinny jeans with chucks on his feet. No guy in our school ever dressed quite like Jack and actually made it look good.

"Where's Alex?" I asked when I walked up to him. I thought Alex and Jack would walk to lunch together since they have almost all the same classes.

"He had to run to his locker to drop off some books. He said he would meet us here soon.  
So how have your classes been since I last saw you?"

"They were pretty boring as usual. I already have homework in my math class."

"Dude, I can't believe you are taking Calc AP. You're such a nerd."

"Yeah says the guy who is in remedial math."

"Ouch! You just hurt my feelings." He turned away from me in fake irritation. I hugged him from behind, but he still pretended to be mad.

"I'm sorry, Barakuda. You're not stupid, you're just special," I said, trying to keep a straight face.

"Damn straight I'm special!"

"So do you forgive me?" I asked, giving him the puppy dog face.

"I can never stay mad at you."

"Good. I like that. I don't think I asked you how your day is going."

"Nothing too eventful. There are some hot girls in my classes, though. This makes Jack very happy." Only Jack would speak in the third person. Again, there is no one else quite like him.

The lunch line finally began to move. Jack handed me a tray and we started getting our food. However, some of our options were not quite that appetizing.

"Why the fuck would they have Brussels sprouts on the first day of school? Who eats that shit?" Jack said as we finished paying for our food and went to find a table.

"Contrary to popular belief, Jack, there actually are some people in the world that like them. You and I just aren't one of them."

"Those must be the people with damaged taste buds due to too many ~sexual favours~," Jack responded. I slapped him on the shoulder with the hand that was not carrying my tray. "What? It was nothing personal," he laughed.

"Maybe not, but it was gross and I'm about to eat."

"Did you forget who you were talking to?"

"Good point."

We finally found a table near the door in the crowded cafeteria. You had to get here early if you wanted a good table in the back.

"Seriously though, I wonder where the hell Alex is. He should be here by now," I said as I sat down facing the door.

"It's Alex. He's always slow."

"That's true, but usually not this slow."

"Speaking of our good friend Alex, he has an interesting story to tell you if he ever decides to get his ass over here," said Jack, trying to stifle a laugh.

"What do you mean?"

"Let's just say he had an interesting reaction to something a certain extremely hot girl said to him."

It took me a minute to fully understand what he was saying, but, when I did, I started to laugh. "Did she notice?" When Jack nodded, that sent me into a complete fit of hysterical laughter as I imagined Alex's embarrassed face. Then, as if right on cue, Alex walked into the cafeteria hand-in-hand with said girl.

Katelyn Gander.

Of course. If you ever saw the movie Mean Girls, Katelyn Gander was Regina George in the flesh. She was the most popular girl in school, supremely known for being rich and getting exactly what she wanted when she wanted it. Now, it appeared she wanted Alex. She took advantage of the fact that every guy in the school nearly wet his pants as she walked by in the hallway. She always managed to manipulate her way into the hearts of the guys she wanted and then she would use them shamelessly. Everyone in the school knew that she was the epitome of all bitches, but somehow she always made them forget that fact when she was around. She was the kind of girl who had the power to ruin you and she made everyone scared shitless.

I couldn't stop myself from wondering why Alex would even give her a second thought though. I mean, yes, I absolutely cannot deny the fact that she's beautiful, but he has heard all the same stories I have about her and how she loves being a heartbreaker. He usually does not go for the typical popular girls, but she seems to hold some kind of a spell over all the guys she wants.

When they came into the cafeteria, their hands broke apart. She went into the lunch line and he saw us and immediately started walking toward our table. I breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe it wasn't as bad as I thought.

"Hey guys," Alex said as he stood between me and Jack. He leaned over and put one hand on the back of each of our chairs. "I just wanted to let you know that I'm going to be sitting with Katelyn today."

Ok, scratch that. It was worse than I thought.

"Ok, Dude," said Jack. "Tell me all about it later and try not to get any more boners. I'm not sure if your pants can take so much action in one day; you wouldn't want to rip your crotch open."

I watched as Alex's whole face went beat red and he slapped Jack over the head. I had to hold on to my seat to make sure I didn't fall off laughing so hard. As soon as Alex saw my reaction, he pouted and stalked off to join Katelyn in the lunch line.

I watched as he reached for her hand and smiled sweetly at her. I had never quite seen him smile just like that before. When he looked at her, his whole face lit up and he could not seem to wipe the smile off his face. I noticed that his eyes even seemed to have an extra gleam in them, as if he was receiving a reward every time he looked at her. She was smiling back at him and talking animatedly about God knows what, obviously flirting shamelessly with him. He even paid for her lunch and then led her to a table across the room from us. All the while, their hands stayed connected.

When I saw this interaction, at first, I couldn't explain the feeling that I got. It was as if I was speeding down a large hill on a bumpy road feeling my stomach drop and almost making me nauseous. This was definitely not anything I had ever felt before. Suddenly, I couldn't look at them anymore. It was as if the view of the smiling couple was burning my eyes and it was painful. I quickly looked away.

Jack seemed to notice this action. "What's with you?" he asked.

"Nothing," I said, taking a sudden interest in the food on my tray.

"No, there's definitely something."

"Jack, seriously, there's nothing wrong."

"Then why aren't you looking me in the eye? When you are hiding something, you always look anywhere but at my face."

"Jack, please just leave it alone," I said severely.

"No, Tay, I won't. Five minutes ago, you were laughing along with me and now I can't even get you to look at me. Ever since Alex came in with Katelyn, you have been acting weird."

When I didn't respond, he seemed to come to a realization. "Oh my God. I can't believe I didn't see it before! You're jealous!"

"What?" I said finally looking up, anger flaring in my eyes. "Why would you say that?"

"Because I saw the way you looked at them when they were standing in line together holding hands. You had this kind of disgusted look on your face."

"Well, you're wrong," I said looking down at my food again.

"Am I?"

After that, we ate in silence. I couldn't help but steal a glance at Alex and Katelyn every once in awhile. They seemed to be unaware of the world around them. His eyes never left her face. He never looked over here, not even once. For some reason, that really bothered me more than I had originally thought it would.

"Maybe you're right," I said, finally breaking the silence between me and Jack. "Maybe I am jealous. I guess it's just because I'm not really used to him hanging out with anyone else besides us. He's never eaten lunch with anyone else and it's just kind of weird. He didn't even ask us if it was ok if he went to sit with her."

"Yeah, I know what you mean. It is kind of weird to see Alex branching out, but maybe he needs this. After all, like you said, he's been hanging out with us his whole life. Maybe he needs to meet new people. And we're not his parents, so he does not need to ask our permission for anything he does."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. It's just that I'm used to having him to myself, so it's odd to see him hanging out with other girls again. It's been awhile since his last serious girlfriend. I guess I should just be happy that he's over her, but I really don't want him to be hurt like that again."

Alex's last girlfriend, Kelly, had broken his heart and stomped on it. They had been seeing each other seriously for two years and he repeatedly told her how he was completely in love with her. Last Valentine's Day, he walked in on her in bed with his good friend Jason. Later, she told him she never loved him and she was just using him for sex. That night, he got a fake I.D., went to a bar, and got completely trashed. The sight I saw when I went to pick him up almost made me drive to Kelly's house and beat the shit out of her. He was just lying in the middle of the dirty sidewalk holding a corona bottle with a whole bunch of throw-up right beside him. He also had a bruise on his right cheek and a split lip; he must have gotten into a fight. I tried to pick him up off the ground, but he just kept on falling back down. I had to seek help from a stranger just to get him to stand up. I brought him up to my room, supporting his weight the whole time. After he finished throwing up in my bathroom, I helped him into my bed and wrapped my arms around him. "How could she do this to me?" he wondered out loud and turned to me with the most broken look I have ever seen. He could not hold in his emotions anymore. I took his head in my arms and he began to sob. To this day, that is the only time I have ever seen him cry.

Five minutes later, the bell rang, sounding the end of lunch. Jack put his arm around me as we walked out of the lunch room together.

"Don't worry about Alex," he said. "I'm sure everything will be fine once we get back into the swing of things with school again."

"Yeah you are probably right," I agreed. "I just have to try to be a little less over protective about my best friend."

"Yeah, let him turn back into the man whore he used to be," Jack joked.

"For his sake, I'm grateful that we had decent Sex Ed teachers back in freshman year. With the amount of girls he slept with, there's no telling how many S.T.D.s he would have now if he didn't know the benefits of a condom and how to use it."

"I still think there's a good chance that he has herpes, or maybe crabs. Did you ever see if he scratches it a lot?"

I laughed and lightly hit Jack again. "No, you douche! As if I was ever looking!"

"Oh you know you were and you just don't want to admit it."

"Yeah whatever," I said, rolling my eyes. "Anyway, I have to go to my locker before class, so I will catch you later."

"Ok," he said and I gave him a quick hug goodbye and walked toward my locker.

When I got my books and shut my locker, I nearly jumped a foot in the air. Alex was standing there laughing at me.

"You scared the crap out of me!" I huffed.

"That was the idea," he laughed.

"Butthead. So how did lunch go?" I asked pretending to be interested.

"Great! Actually, there's something I need to talk to you about."

"What's up?"

"Katelyn said she wants me to hang out with her after school, so I was thinking maybe I could give you my car keys and you could drive yourself home. Is that cool?"

"Yeah, that's fine," I said, trying to swallow the frog in my throat.

He took his keys out from his pocket and handed them to me. "Thanks!" he said, kissing me on the cheek. "I'll call you later," he said as he walked away from me. I watched him as he disappeared completely from my view and then slowly began to walk to my class in the opposite direction.

Driving home alone gave me a chance to think about the day. As far as first days of school went, it pretty much sucked. I had this awful feeling in my stomach that things between me and Alex were about to change. For the first time in my life, I hated that he wanted to be with another girl instead of me. It took all the effort I had not to just suddenly stop the car in the middle of the road when I had this thought.

Jack was right; I was completely and utterly jealous. Katelyn was robbing me of my best friend and I hated her for that. If things had been normal, Alex and I would have been driving home together joking about our day. But, things weren't normal, not anymore. I was upset that I couldn't look into those deep brown eyes and wonder what they were thinking. But, the thing that bothered me the most? If I had thoughts like this about any other guy, Alex would have been the first one I would have gone to. Now, I was as confused as ever with no one to turn to, not even my best friend. Especially not him. This will be the first secret I have ever really kept from him.

The next question was why. Why would I feel like this? I never had a problem when he was around his other girlfriends. I mean, Alex was practically a brother to me. There was my answer. Alex _was_ practically a brother to me, past tense. I no longer thought of him like a brother; I thought of him as so much more than that. I slowly came to the realization that I was in love with Alex Gaskarth.

Shit.

**Chapter 5: Thinking of You**

_Alex's P.O.V._

I didn't end up getting home until about 11:00 that night. Normally, I would have stayed out later, but I knew my parents would get pissed off if it was a school night. When I got up to my room, I threw my bag down on the floor, flopped down on the bed, and began to reminisce about what just happened.

Katelyn and I had the most amazing time. After school, we drove into Baltimore and just walked around the city holding hands. Eventually, we went to dinner and I paid, of course. I could not seem to stop looking into those big beautiful green eyes of hers and marveling at just how beautiful she was. I never wanted to look away from her. Everything about her was completely irresistible to me: her laugh, her smile, her face, the way she held my hand, her lips...

When we kissed at the end of the night, I could feel my heart rate increase exponentially and an electric current shoot through my body. I had never felt quite like this about any other girl, not even Kelly, who I had claimed to love. This might sound kind of girly and cliché, but, after that, I felt like I was floating in the clouds. I mean, how could a girl as hot as Katelyn Gander be interested in a guy like me with all my flannel shirts, skinny jeans, and chucks? Not to mention the fact that I had almost no muscle. You'd think she'd go for guys that look like models and shop at Hollister and Abercrombie and Fitch: preps. She was truly amazing.

I pulled out my phone from my pocket because I felt it starting to vibrate. I got a new text message. When I saw who it was from, a wide smile spread across my face.

From: Katelyn  
_Hey, babe! I had such a great time today! Can't wait to see you tomorrow! Xoxo._

I texted back a quick response.

_Me too! I really enjoyed spending time with you. See you tomorrow! Miss you!_

I heard a soft knock at my door and shouted, "Come in!" The door opened and my brother Eric walked in and shut the door behind him.

If you put Eric and I right next to each other, you still would not be able to tell we're brothers. We were completely opposite. For instance, he had bright baby blue eyes, short blond hair and pale skin. I, on the other hand, had dark brown eyes, long brown hair, and semi-tan skin. The only similarity in our physical appearance was that we were both tall.

Eric was a jock, plain and simple. Soccer was his passion and he was in college on a full sports scholarship. He eventually wanted to play for the US national soccer team. He was damn good at what he did and the top scorer on his soccer team. I had to admit, my brother and I did not have much in common at all; I was all about music and he was all about sports. Yet, somehow, we managed to always be there for each other. Whenever we could, Taylor and I always made sure to go to his soccer games and cheer him on like we did when we were little. In return, Eric never missed a single performance, not one. We never let our differences get between us.

"Dude, what the hell are you doing here?" I asked, jumping up to give him a hug.

"I finally got a break from school, so I decided to come home and see you and Mom and Dad. Where the hell have you been all night? I've been waiting to surprise you."  
"I was out," I shrugged trying to pass it off as casual.

"No shit, Sherlock. With who, Taylor?"

"No. You won't believe me when I tell you."

"Try me."

"Katelyn Gander."

Even though he didn't go to my high school anymore, he still knew who she was; everybody did.

"You're shitting me!" he said as his mouth dropped open in disbelief just like I thought it would. "You are totally shitting me!"

"Nope, I'm dead serious." I couldn't keep the smile from my face.

"Well how the hell did that happen?"

I told him the whole story about my day with Katelyn without leaving anything out, not even the part about my giant boner. "Dude, I just, I can't explain it. She has this weird effect on me. I've never felt like this about anyone else," I said, finishing the story.

"It sounds like you got it bad, Bro. You're fucking gushing like a girl. You should see yourself right now," he said laughing.

"Shut the hell up!"

"What? It's true! One warning though: this girl is known for screwing everyone over, so make sure you don't fall into that death trap."

"I think it's different this time though. She seemed to really care."

"Whatever you say. You can't say I didn't warn you though."

"I think I'll take my chances."

"If you say so. Good luck. I really hope everything works out for you. If she hurts you, she'll have me to deal with."

"Thanks, Bro. That really means a lot actually. How's everything with you?"

"Pretty good. We have another game soon, so I've just been training for that."

"Awesome. When do Taylor and I need to come to University of Maryland to see you play?"

"Our first few games aren't going to be home games, I don't think, so you can't come. I will definitely let you know when our first home game is though."

"Ok cool. How are things with you and Holly?"

Holly and my brother had been together for the past two years. They were the kind of couple that made all those really cynical people want to throw up. They couldn't keep their hands off each other, not even in public. Anyone could tell they were in love. When they were together, they weren't two people; they were one in the same.

Whenever I saw them together, I always got this pang of jealousy for my brother. I wasn't jealous of him per se, but I was jealous of the fact that he had found that one person that would always love him no matter what. What guy could honestly say that he didn't want the same thing for himself?

"Things are going amazingly well. Did I tell you that we're moving in together next month? We finally found a place near our college."

"Get the fuck out! Dude, that's awesome!" I said as I got up to give my brother a congratulatory hug. "It's about time."

"Thanks. I'm pretty excited about it. We've been looking for awhile now, so it's nice to finally have a place that we can both afford that's not too far from home and school."

"I'm sure."

"So how's Taylor doing? It feels like forever since I've seen her."

"She's fine, still the usual Taylor. Actually, I was thinking of going over there soon. I haven't told her about my night with Katelyn yet and I think I might need her help on some homework already. Why don't you come with me and surprise her?"

He nodded. "That sounds like a great idea."

I walked over to my window and saw that her light was on, so I went over to my desk and grabbed the laser and white board. I went back to the window and flashed the laser twice directly at her window. A few seconds later, she came to the window with her white board, already in her pajamas and ready for bed.

**Are you busy right now?** I wrote.

**Nope, what's up?** She responded.

**I was wondering if I could come over for a little bit,** I wrote back.

**Of course you can come.**

**I'll see you in a few minutes.**

I erased the board and put it back on my desk and grabbed my bag. Eric and I quietly left our house and went over to Taylor's. Two minutes later, I was knocking on her bedroom door. As soon as I heard her shout that I could come in, I opened the door. She was sprawled out on her stomach on her queen-sized bed with a book in front of her nose. She looked up when we came in and when she saw Eric, her whole face lit up into a smile and she got up and gave him a welcoming hug.

"Eric!" she squealed. "When did you get home? I missed you!"

"Hey, Girly!" he said as he kissed her on the cheek. "I've missed you too. I came home today to surprise everyone because I had a break from school for once in my life."

"That's great! How long are you going to stay?"

"For about a week. Guess what?"

"Good so I have plenty of opportunities to bug you over the next week. What?"

"Holly and I are moving in together. We finally found a place."

"Oh my God that's great!" she said, giving him another hug.

"Yeah we move next month. We are pretty excited."

"I'll bet."

"So, enough about me. How have you been?"

"I've been pretty good. Nothing really big has happened lately. I'm just bummed the summer is over. I already have homework and it's only the first day."

"Speaking of homework," I said, "I have some too and I need help with mine."

"What do you have to do?" she asked.

"It's math," I responded. Everyone knew I was the worst person at math.

"Uh oh, I think that's my cue to leave," said Eric.

"But, you just got here!" whined Taylor.

"I know but I'm really tired. Plus, like you said, you'll have the whole week to annoy me and make me wish I was back at school."

She laughed and playfully hit him over the shoulder. "Ok fine then get out of here!"

"Good night, Guys," he said and then he left.

"So what do you need help with?" Taylor asked turning to face me fully.

"Uhm, everything?" I admitted sheepishly.

"Ok then let's get started," she laughed as she led me over to her bed. We sprawled out on our stomachs side by side. I took out the homework I had to do and she looked over some of the problems. Once she figured it out, she taught me exactly how to do it. I could always count on Taylor to help me. She's probably the only reason I was able to pass math so far. By the time we were done with my homework, it was around 1:00AM.

"So how was your day after school ended?" I asked as I packed up my stuff.

"It was pretty ordinary. I just came home and didn't really do anything. What about you?"

"It was amazing! We spent literally the whole night just walking around Baltimore and getting to know each other. She's different than anyone else I have ever been with."

When I said that, something changed in Taylor's expression. Her mouth seemed to turn down slightly at the corners and her eyes got this sad look to them. It was very subtle though; if I hadn't been sitting right next to her, I would not have noticed it. She pretended that nothing had happened.

"That's great, Alex," she said. "I'm really happy for you." I don't know why, but I got this odd feeling in my gut that she was lying.

"Thanks," I responded ignoring my gut. "I really want you to meet her soon so that you can tell me what you think. Maybe we can all sit together for lunch sometime next week."

"Yeah," she said slowly. "Sounds good." There was no feeling in her voice.

For some reason, I felt growing tension in the room, so I decided it was time to go. Something felt different between us and I didn't like it, We did have school tomorrow, after all.

"I'm going to go," I said getting up off the bed. "It's getting late and we have to get up early tomorrow. I don't want another repeat of this morning."

"Ok, night," Taylor said as she got up and gave me a quick hug goodbye.

Soon, I was back in my room lying in my bed with the lights out, but I couldn't manage to get to sleep. With a sigh, I sat up and turned on the lamp on the night table. I could not get Katelyn out of my mind. Walking with her in Baltimore under the stars was completely perfect.

I saw my acoustic guitar lying in the corner next to my closet. For the first time in a little over a month, I got out of bed and picked it up. Then, I went to my desk to get a notebook and began to write a song.

**Chapter 6: The Pain That Won't Go Away**

_Taylor's P.O.V._

I couldn't sleep that night. My body was exhausted, but my mind felt like it was about to explode. His words kept on repeating over and over in my head: "She's different than anyone else I have ever been with". How the hell was I supposed to compete with that? He was obviously developing strong feelings for her and there I was, stuck watching on the sidelines as he grew closer and closer to her. What was I supposed to do?

As I saw it, I had three options. I could tell Alex about my feelings for him, which would possibly ruin our lifetime friendship. I could slowly start to ignore him and let our friendship fade so that I wouldn't have to see him with her more than absolutely necessary. Or, I could choose to try to ignore my feelings for him and just endure the pain when I saw him with her. I thought hard about each possible consequence. If I told him how I felt, things would get weird between us and he might start to avoid me and I knew I could not let that happen. If I tried to ignore him, I would never be able to live with myself knowing that I hurt him. It seemed that option three was all I had left. I could deal with the pain of seeing him with her, but I could not deal with the pain of losing him altogether.

Yesterday, Alex mentioned that he wanted me and Jack to eat lunch with him an d Katelyn so that we could get to know her. I wondered if I would be able to do this with an open mind. I have heard plenty of stories from my friends that she can be a complete and total bitch to everyone if she doesn't get what she wants. In all honesty, I have never actually talked to her, but I never really had a reason to talk to her either. To be fair, rumours aren't always true and who says people can't change? It's not her fault she likes Alex. I mean, since I apparently like Alex too, I couldn't begrudge her that. I decided I would go into that lunch room with as open of a mind as I could muster.

My alarm finally went off at 7:00AM and I got up slowly. I was exhausted from not getting any sleep last night. I thought about my upcoming day. At least it was Friday, so if things went really badly at lunch, I would have the weekend to get over it. I was so happy that my school district always started the school year on a Thursday. You have two days of school and then the whole weekend to get used to being in school again and to buy things that you might still need such as notebooks or pencils.

After lying in bed lazily for five minutes, I got up and brushed my teeth. Half an hour later, I was ready to go so I walked out to my car. Alex and I alternated driving each day, so today it was my turn. I pulled up to his driveway and texted him to say that I was there. Not even two minutes later, he was out of the house walking toward the car. Today, he was wearing a black The Academy Is... hoodie with a white t-shirt, blue skinny jeans, and black chucks.

"Hey!" I said as brightly as I could when he got in the car and I pulled away from his driveway. "What's up?"

"Hey," he responded. "Nothing really. I couldn't sleep that much last night."

"Why not?"

"I couldn't get Katelyn out of my head. It got so bad that I got sick of trying to sleep, so I turned the light on. One good thing did come out of it though."

I felt that now familiar pang of jealousy in my stomach. This was going to take some time and getting used to. "What was that?" I asked.

"I wrote a song about it. It's been like six months since I have last written a song. Usually when I write a song, it takes a few days, but I wrote this one in an hour. It's almost like she's my muse."

"Wow, that's really awesome," I said. "I'm really happy for you." I really was happy that he was writing again, I just wasn't happy that she was the reason.

"Thanks, Tay. It feels good to be writing again. How long has it been since you've written a song?"

"Honestly, I can't even remember. I think it might have been after I broke up with Ryan because I was pissed and heartbroken. It wasn't anything good though. I think I threw it out the next day."

Ryan and I went out the beginning of my junior year. He was one year older than me and we had known each other since my freshman year. That was one of the happiest times in my life. Ryan was my first real boyfriend and everything was going perfectly for about ten months. Two weeks before he graduated high school, he dumped me out of the blue. He said that he didn't love me anymore and he wanted to be single for the summer and college. He refused to have a long distance relationship with me, no matter how much I begged him to consider it. The douche bag didn't even have the decency to dump me in person; he did it over the phone. Thank God Alex was with me when he called. Otherwise, I don't know what I would have done. I had to stop him from going over to Ryan's house and beating the shit out of him just like I had almost done with Kelly. He let me cry on his shoulder for the rest of the night. I slept at his house because I couldn't bear to be in my room; there were too many pictures of us lying around and I didn't think I could take it. It took me most of the summer to get over him.

"I know what you mean. The last time I wrote before last night was probably right after my breakup with Kelly. It's funny how we get inspired when we experience a high level of emotion."

"Yeah, I know what you mean. Did you tell Zack, Rian, or Jack yet? I'm sure they'll be ecstatic that you finally wrote something good again."

"No not yet. We're having a band meeting this weekend though, so I figured I could bring it and see what they think."

So I guess I should take this opportunity to mention the fact that Alex is in a band called All Time Low. Alex, Jack, and Rian started the band their freshman year of high school and found Zack soon after. Jack knew Rian from homeroom and Rian had known Zack form middle school. Ever since then, they have been doing everything they could to get their name out. They played small venues and did interviews with local TV channels and newspapers and personally recruited people to their MySpace music page. They played both cover songs and their own original songs. Eventually, they developed a little gathering of fans. They are currently working on recording a demo to send out to record companies so that they can get a deal.

"That's a good idea. I'm sure they'll be happy that you are finally capable of writing a good song again."

"Hey, shut the fuck up! You went through the same thing I did!"

"Yeah, but it's not as important for me to write a good song as it is for you. I'm not trying to record a demo yet!"

"Yeah, but you should be because your voice is killer."

"I told you that I want to graduate high school first and then worry about my music career."

"I know, but still. You should be singing every chance you get. Don't let that beautiful voice go to waste."

"I won't, I promise," I said as we pulled into the school parking lot.

"So are we still on for lunch?" Alex asked as we walked into the school.

"Yeah, definitely," I nodded purposely not looking at him.

"Awesome, so I'll see you then," he said and he started walking off toward his homeroom.

Four hours later, Jack met me at my locker so that we could walk to lunch together.

"So this should be interesting, huh?" Jack said as we started walking.

"Yeah, I mean, who knows if you'll be able to even speak in her presence," I responded. Last year, every time Katelyn passed by in the hallway, Jack would be sure to let me know just how much he wanted to bang her.

"Of course I will! And I'll be so charming that she'll start wanting me instead of Alex. This way, she can end it with him and come to me. I would never want to steal my best friend's girl. It's always better to have them come to me."

"Says the boy who hasn't had a serious girlfriend since like ever," I laughed.

"Well, maybe Jack is just too good for all those other girls," he responded speaking in the third person again. "Jack is special and Jack knows what he wants."

"And does Jack want a serious relationship?"

"Yes, Jack does, but Jack has to find the right girl first. Until then, Jack does everything he must to satisfy his sexual needs."

"Of course he does," I laughed as we entered the cafeteria and got into the lunch line. "Now, Jack must be on his very best behaviour so that he can impress Alex's new love interest."

"Jack promises to be a good boy."

"Good doggy," I said playfully patting him on the head.

Five minutes later, we bought our food and looked around the room. It appeared that Alex and Katelyn hadn't gotten there yet, so they went to find a table towards the back. Jack and I had actually gotten to lunch on time today. It wasn't a surprise that Alex wasn't here yet though; he's never on time. We were half way through eating our lunch when they had finally showed up.

It was much the same as yesterday. Alex and Katelyn walked into the cafeteria hand-in-hand and Alex's eyes had that extra gleam in them. They continued holding hands as they got in the lunch line together. Somehow, the pain didn't hurt any less today. This was the time when I would really have to put my acting skills to the test. My whole friendship with Alex could depend on it. He paid for their food and looked around the cafeteria, but then his eyes stopped as they focused on my face and the couple started walking toward us.

"Tay, you ok?" Jack asked. "You look kind of down." That damn kid never missed a beat.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said. I got up as I saw them coming closer and Jack did the same.

"Hey, Guys," Alex said as they approached the table. "This is Katelyn. Katelyn, these are my two best friends, Taylor and Jack."

"Hi, it's very nice to meet you both," she said sweetly as she let go of Alex's hand to shake Jack's and mine.

"You too," Jack and I said together as we all sat down.

"You were all Alex could talk about yesterday," Jack said as we ate.

"Is that so?" Katelyn asked. When Jack nodded, she turned to smile at Alex, who smiled at her right back. Excuse me while I go throw up.

There was awkward silence for a few minutes. No one knew quite what to say. Alex and Katelyn's hands were connected again on top of the table. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't seem to stop staring at their intertwined fingers. Maybe I had become a masochist trying to cause myself as much pain as possible. I hoped no one noticed.

"So, Taylor, Alex told me that you and he like to sing together. Is that true," Katelyn asked, turning to me.

I nodded. "Yeah, actually it is. We started at the end of middle school and just couldn't seem to stop. We really enjoy performing together and sometimes I open for him when he plays with All Time Low."

"That's great," she responded. "I was thinking maybe I would come to your next show when you schedule it. I've been hearing that you guys are amazing live and I want to hear for myself."

"That would be great!" I tried to sound cheerful. "And thank you very much. I'm sure you would have a great time at our show."

Ok, maybe Katelyn wasn't as bad as I had originally thought. She's actually being kind of nice. Who would have thought?

"So I heard you and Alex have been best friends since you were little and I think that's adorable. And, Jack, Alex said you guys met freshman year of high school and hit it off instantly."

"That we did," responded Jack. "That was back in the day when I was shy and had no friends."

"Jack, you still have no friends," joked Alex.

"Well, I'm just too cool for other people," said Jack as we all chuckled.

"So, Katelyn, what colleges are you thinking about applying to?" I asked, sincerely trying to make an effort, even though it felt like I had jealousy coming out of my eyes.

"I really don't know," she replied. "I was thinking maybe Towson, Salisbury, University of Maryland, Penn State, UNC, or UF. My parents are pushing me to stay in-state so that they won't have to spend so much money, but I'm not sure where I want to go. I think I want to be a performing arts or dance major. I know Alex and Jack are going to focus on the band, but what about you?"

"I think I'm going to try to work on my music also. If things don't go as I had planned, then I will definitely go to college. Until then, I want to see where the music takes me."

"That's really awesome. You're following your heart."

I nodded. "Yeah, I'm trying to."

"I can't believe we're already seniors," she said. "It seems like high school is going by so fast."

"I know what you mean," Jack said. "It seems like just yesterday that we were those scared little freshman on our first day of high school."

"It's weird thinking about how much everything is going to change once we graduate," Alex joined in. "I mean, think about it, we won't be able to see each other every day anymore. Some of us won't even have to worry about school ever again, which will be nice."

"Yeah our lives definitely won't be the same," agreed Katelyn.

"Kate, why don't you tell them about the cheerleading championship?" Alex said. He had this proud look on his face and he squeezed her hand affectionately. I still could not take my eyes off of them for the life of me.

"Oh, it was really nothing," Katelyn said blushing.

"No, what happened?" asked Jack.

"It was just last week and she won the award for best cheer captain and best routine choreographer," Alex bragged.

Jack and I both congratulated her on a job well done.

"Thank you, but it really wasn't as big of a deal as this cutie over here makes it out to be." She turned and gave Alex a peck on the lips.

I felt my food start to swirl around in my stomach as I began to get nauseous. "Excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom," I said as I got up. I had to get out of there. Their affection was suffocating me and I could not take it anymore; I needed a break. It wasn't until I was in the bathroom staring at myself in the mirror and trying to pull myself together that I realized that Katelyn had followed me to the bathroom.

"Taylor, can I talk to you?" she asked as she entered the bathroom. It was empty except for us.

"Yeah, sure," I said turning to face her. "What's up?"

"I just wanted to get something straight. Alex is mine."

I crinkled my eyebrows in confusion. "I don't understand what you mean."

"Oh don't play stupid with me! I can see right through you. I saw the longing in your eyes all throughout lunch. I don't care if you have a little crush on him or you think you love him. He's mine now, so you better back the fuck off. If you don't, I'll make sure you become irrelevant in his life."

I laughed. "Oh? And how are you going to do that, since Alex and I have been best friends since we were two years old and he's only known you since yesterday?"

"Because I fully intend to make him love me. When someone loves you, that means they will do anything for you. I'll just make him see that you were never such a good friend to him after all."

"What makes you think he would choose you over me?"

"Because they always do. Alex is just like every other guy and I am an expert at knowing what guys want. If you want to stay in his life, you'd better find someone else to look at, bitch. Oh, and if you even think about telling anyone else about this little conversation, there will be hell to pay." With that, she left.

I stood there, completely dumbfounded, but somehow not surprised. I guess I was right about her after all; she was the real Regina George and I had just been the latest victim to get stung by her wings. I could feel the heat emitting from my skin as my face got red with anger. There was no way in hell I was going to let that slut ruin my relationship with my best friend. I had to take a few deep breaths to calm myself down.

I decided that I was going to find a way to prove, in one way or another, what a horrible person Katelyn Gander really was. Unfortunately, until then, I had to go along with what she wanted; I had to pretend that my heart didn't flutter every single time I laid eyes on Alex Gaskarth. It was going to be a lot harder than it seemed. I took another deep breath and walked back to the cafeteria. As I got back to the table, the bell rang, so we all gathered our stuff and walked out.

"It was really nice to meet you guys," Katelyn said to Jack and me in her fake sweet voice.

"Yeah, you too," we both said, Jack being the only one that actually meant it now.

"I'm going to go walk her to class, so I will see you guys later," Alex said as he waved goodbye to us and grabbed Katelyn's hand again and they walked away.

"Well, that wasn't so bad," Jack said as we walked to class together. "She was actually really nice, don't you think?"

"Yeah," I responded trying not to sound sarcastic. Fifteen minutes ago, I may have actually meant that answer.

All of a sudden, Jack stopped walking and forced me to face him. His big brown eyes searched my face. It startled me a little bit.

"Taylor, what's wrong? And don't say it's nothing because I know that's a lie. Before, you looked dejected and now you look like you are about to explode. Please just tell me what it is." I guess I'm not as good at hiding my emotions as I thought I was.

"I'll tell you later," I responded, giving up. It was nearly impossible for me to keep secrets from Jack because he always saw right through me. "I can't say anything now because I can't risk anyone overhearing."

"It's that bad, huh?" he asked and I nodded, so he took my word for it.

"I'll call you later," I said as I got to my class and he walked away.

Two hours later, I was at my locker putting my books back and getting ready to leave for the day. Alex ran up behind me and started tickling me.

"Get off, Garth," I said as I laughed and tried to hit his hands away.

"So what did you think of Katelyn?" he asked when he finally stopped tickling me.

"She was nice," I said in mock sincerity. He was bouncing off the balls of his feet, which had to mean one thing: he was excited about something. "What's with you?" I asked.

"I think I could be falling for her. I might ask her to be my girlfriend."

It was amazing how he really knew how to use the exact words that would cut me right to the core. I could feel the pain start to throb in my chest.

"Oh, that's great," I said. My voice sounded emotionless even to me and I worked to keep my face straight.

"Thanks," he said. He looked at my face a little bit closer. "Taylor, are you ok? You look kind of sad."

"Yeah, I'm fine," I lied. "Just all this stuff with you and Katelyn kind of reminds me of me and Ryan last year."

His face softened and he took me into a one-armed hug. "I'm sorry about that. I don't like causing you pain."

"It's not your fault," I said as I pulled away. _It's not your fault you are so damn hot and irresistible and I love you,_ I thought. "So are you ready to go?"

He got this uncomfortable look on his face.

"Alex, what's wrong?"

"I actually promised Katelyn I would spend the afternoon with her again," he said. "I'm really sorry, Taylor."

"Don't worry about it," I said. "Go have fun with her."

"Thanks," he repeated. "I'll call you later and tell you what happens."

"Ok great," I said. "I will talk to you later, then." We waved goodbye and I could feel his eyes on my back as I walked out of the building.

To be honest, at this point, finally being away from him felt liberating. I no longer had to lie and pretend that I didn't care when I did, more than he would probably ever know. There was a limit to how much pain I could take in one day.

I tried not to think about anything on my way home. I felt that, if I did, I might break down, which would not be such a good thing to do in a car while driving on a busy street. I sped home. I needed a place where I could freely express my feelings. Since I knew Alex was not going to be home, I did not have to worry about him seeing me through his window.

The very second I burst into my room, I got a text from Alex.

_From: Alex  
I asked her to be my girlfriend and she said yes!_

Congratulations! That's great! I texted back to him. It was easy to lie on a text message. I couldn't take it anymore; I laid down on my bed and started to cry. Looks like I had reached my limit.

I cried until I couldn't cry anymore and then I just laid there thinking about the day. I remembered what Alex had said this morning about how we write songs when we experience a high level of a certain emotion and I wondered if it would help me at all now. I decided it couldn't hurt to try, so I got up and took my guitar out of the closet and grabbed a notebook and pen from the desk. I returned to my bed and put the guitar in position. My eyes still seemed to be watery and I saw one of my tears fall onto the guitar. I sat there and stared at it for awhile.

_Teardrops on my guitar,_ I thought and I took the pen and began to write. One hour later, I had a brand new song that actually wasn't crap on my hands. After I finished it, I threw my notebook aside and laid back down on the bed.

A little while later, I decided I did not want to sit home and be miserable anymore, so I picked up my phone and called the first person that came to mind.

"Hello?" came the deep male voice from the other end.

"Hey, Jack, it's me," I said. "Are you busy tonight? I really need to loosen up and have some fun."

**Chapter 7: A Night Out On The Town**

_Alex's P.O.V._

I swear, I don't think I will ever get bored of looking at her. Everything about her radiated beauty, even down to her graceful movements.

We had just left school and now we were in her car driving to the mall. She said she needed to buy new sunglasses and I agreed to go with her. Anything for an excuse to spend more time with her.

"So what did you think of Taylor and Jack?" I asked conversationally as we drove toward the mall.

"Jack is funny and Taylor seems nice," Katelyn responded. "I don't think she liked me too much though."

"Why would you say that?" I asked. "I'm sure she loved you."

"Well, when we were in the bathroom together, she told me to stay away from you. She said that she was the only girl in your life and that she was going to make sure it stayed that way."

"You must have misunderstood her," I reasoned. "She has a really quiet voice and sometimes it's hard to hear her. You must not have heard her correctly."

"No, trust me, Alex, she was loud and clear."

"But, Taylor would never say something like that to anyone."

"Well, she said it to me," Katelyn responded.

I felt my stomach start to boil and, all of a sudden, I wasn't sure what to believe. I didn't want to believe the worst in my best friend, but what reason could Katelyn possibly have to lie to me about something like this? I've made it pretty clear to her that Taylor and I are just friends, nothing more. Seriously, what the fuck?

"Alex, I know she's your best friend and everything, but you have to remember that she's not perfect. I'm sure she's done stuff like this before."

"Well, she never really did like any of my past girlfriends."

"See? She probably doesn't want you to be with anyone else because she knows that means you won't have as much time to spend with her. She's jealous."

"Maybe," I said thinking about what she just said. Taylor? Jealous? That didn't really seem like her. But, then I remembered the look on her face last night when I told her how I felt about Katelyn. She didn't really seem mad, just sad. I suppose it would make sense for her to be jealous. Lately, I've been hanging out with Katelyn more than I have with her. She probably feels like Katelyn is taking me away from her. I would have to talk to her about it later.

"I'm really sorry that happened," I said. "I'll talk to her about it later, but, right now, let's just enjoy our time together."

"That sounds absolutely perfect," Katelyn said, showing me that dazzling smile of hers. "Especially since I love spending time with you." While she said this, she turned into the mall parking lot and found a spot right in front of the entrance.

"I love spending time with you too," I said grabbing her hand as we walked into the mall, "which reminds me that I have a question for you."

"What's that?" she asked turning to look at me.

"I can't seem to stop thinking about last night. I had such a good time with you. You are different than any other girl that I know and I would love to make our relationship official. What I'm trying to say is, will you be my girlfriend?" I looked down at her with deep, pleading eyes that I hoped looked alluring to her.

She gave me the widest, most beautiful smile I had ever seen. "Alex, I would love to be your girlfriend," she said. She put her hand around my neck, pulled my head down, and pressed her lips to mine in a passionate kiss. Now I finally knew what bliss felt like. I took my phone out and texted Taylor the good news.

We spent a long time at the mall. You know how girls are. They take forever just to pick out one little thing. She asked me how she looked each time she tried on a different pair of sunglasses and each time I told her she looked beautiful and it wasn't a lie. When she finally picked out a pair she wanted, it was about 7:00PM.

"So are you hungry?" I asked as we got back into her car.

She nodded. "Yeah, actually, now that you mention it, I'm a little hungry."

"Where do you want to go for dinner?"

"It doesn't really matter to me," she shrugged.

"Oh no don't play that game with me," I said playfully. "You're the lady here, which means that you get to pick the first place we go to for dinner as an official couple."

"Well, when you put it that way..." she laughed. "I think I'm in the mood for Italian. How about we go to La Tavola in Baltimore? They have really good pasta. I love their gnocchi.

Afterward, we can go across the street to Viccaro's for a true Italian desert."

"That sounds great. Little Italy is always beautiful at night."

Fifteen minutes later, we were sitting down at a candlelit table for two near the window at the restaurant. We each took a few minutes to read over the menu and then ordered our food. In the end, we both decided to have gnocchi. Since it was her favourite, she wanted to have it again and she wanted me to try it.

"This is so nice," she said once we ordered our food.

"What is?" I asked looking over at her.

"Being here with you, especially at my favourite restaurant."

I grabbed her hand from across the table. "I love being here with you too. So tell me about yourself."

"What do you want to know?"

"Well I feel like, even though we spent all of yesterday together, I still don't really know you that well. What do you like to do? What kind of music do you like to listen to? What's your favourite book? How many brothers or sisters do you have?"

"Whoa, slow down there, Tiger!" she laughed. "One question at a time. First of all, since I am the head cheerleader, I love dancing and doing gymnastics. As far as music goes, I pretty much just listen to whatever is on the radio. I don't really like to read. Most books bore me to death. I'm an only child. Now, what about you? You sing, so music must be a big deal to you."

"Yeah I honestly do not know what my life would be like if I didn't have my music and my guitar. I'd be pretty lost. Anyway, I love playing my guitar and hanging out and doing random stuff with friends. I love all kinds of music, but Blink-182 is my absolute favourite. No one will be able to beat them. They are fucking awesome. I don't really like reading either. If I had to choose between reading and writing, I would choose writing in an instant. I write my own songs as a way to get my feelings out. I have an older brother named Eric. He plays soccer for University of Maryland."

"What do you usually write about in your songs?"

"All different things really. If I'm having a really bad day or a really good day, I'll just sit down and write about it and see what comes out. I wrote a really good one last night about my night out with you."

"Did you now?" she asked with wonder in her voice.

"I did," I nodded.

"You will definitely have to play that for me sometime."

"I will if you come to our next show, whenever it will be."

"That sounds like a deal to me."

We spent the next half hour talking and getting to know each other and then our food came. There was a comfortable silence as we ate; we did not feel the need to say anything. Each of us was watching the other and smiling.

"So how do you like the gnocchi?" she finally asked.

"You were right; it's completely delicious," I responded.

A little while later, we finished our dinner and I paid for the check. It was around 9:15PM when we finally left.

"So are you ready for that 'true Italian desert' you were talking about before?" I asked as I took her hand and we left the restaurant and began crossing the street to Vicarro's.

"I'm always ready for desert," she said as she lifted our hands up and twirled herself around under them. Her red hair was beautiful as it flew in the wind. She looked around and I turned to see what she was looking at.

For some reason, the whole street was completely deserted, which never ever happens in Baltimore's Little Italy. We both stared at the emptiness.

"You know what this reminds me of?" she asked as we reached the other side of the street.  
"What does it remind you of?"

"It reminds me of that scene in The Notebook when Allie and Noah were walking in the street and then they started to dance and they laid down in the street and watched the lights change. It's one of my favourite parts."

"Oh yeah, I do remember that part," I responded. I will never admit this to anyone besides Taylor since we watched it together, but I loved that movie and I cried like a baby at the end. She actually had to hold me in her arms for awhile just to get me to calm down. "So, will you have this dance?" I offered her my hand. She took it and wrapped her other hand around my neck as I placed mine on her waist. I began to sing.

_Meet me on Thames Street  
__I'll take you out though  
I'm hardly worth your time  
In the cold you look so fierce  
But I'm warming up because the tension's like a fire  
We'll hit South Broadway in a matter of minutes  
And like a bad movie I'll drop a line  
Fall in a grave I've been digging myself  
But there's room for two  
Six feet under the stars_

"What song was that?" she asked when we stopped.

"It's a verse of the song I wrote for you last night," I said smiling down at her.

"Alex, I don't even know what to say," she said looking up into my eyes. "That was so beautiful. I love it."

"That was kind of the idea," I chuckled. I leaned down and gave her a kiss. I could definitely get used to this.

"Come on," she said as we pulled apart a minute later. "I want some desert!"

Even though the street was deserted, Vicarro's was completely packed. We had to wait in line for about half an hour just to get to the front of the line. Katelyn decided she wanted a cannoli and I settled on some gelato. Since there was no room in the restaurant, we went back outside and sat on a bench nearby.

"So what do you want to do now?" I asked as we finished up.

"I'm actually kind of tired, so how about we go back to my house and watch a movie or something?" she suggested.

"That sounds great," I agreed. I was actually kind of tired too and it would be nice to cuddle with her and watch a movie. "If you want, we can stop by my house real quick so that I can grab my car and you won't have to drive me home."

"That sounds like a good idea."

We walked back to her car and left. It took us about 15 minutes to drive back to my house. I quickly got in my car and followed her to her house. We got to her house around 10:30 and decided to watch How To Lose A Guy In Ten Days, her idea of course. By the time the movie was over, it was about 12:15AM. My phone began to ring right as the movie ended. I looked to see who was calling: Jack. He usually just texts me, so it must have been something important.

"Hey, Jack, what's up?" I asked as I answered my phone.

"Alex, I think you had better get down here," Jack said frantically.

"Whoa, whoa, Jack calm down," I said getting a concerned look on my face. Katelyn turned to look at me curiously. "Tell me what's wrong."

"Taylor and I decided to go to The Den, that club near Johns Hopkins because they don't card. She got really drunk and now I can't find her anywhere. I'm really worried. I haven't seen her in like half an hour."

"Jack, did either of you drive there?" I asked, worried now.

"No, we took the bus."

I breathed a sigh of relief. At least I didn't have to worry about her driving drunk. "Alright, I'll be there as soon as I can. Don't move."

"Alex, what's the matter?" Katelyn asked as I hung up the phone and practically ran to the door.

"Jack and Taylor went to The Den and now Taylor is really drunk and Jack can't find her anywhere. I have to go find her."

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"No, you stay here. I don't want to have to worry about you too."

"Ok," she nodded. "Please let me know when you find her."

"I will," I said as I gave her a kiss and ran out the door to my car.

**Chapter 8: Good Girl Gone Bad**

_Taylor's P.O.V._

Jack said he would come pick me up around 8:30PM and we would get dinner and then go to The Den, this cute little club right near Johns Hopkins University. I've never been there, but I heard they don't card and I knew that I really needed a drink tonight. Screw the consequences. I wasn't going to let anything or anyone hold me back anymore. I had nothing left to lose.

As soon as I got off the phone with Jack, I started getting ready, considering it was already 6:00 and I needed to shower and wash my long, blond hair. My hair is extremely thick, so it always takes forever to make it look the way I want it to. When I was finally done with my hair, I stood in front of my closet for about five minutes just trying to decide what to wear. Eventually, I decided on a denim jean skirt and a purple halter top with a neck that swooped down to the chest with black strappy high-heels to go with it. I decided to leave my hair down and wavy and I wore dark purple eye shadow with brown eyeliner and mascara with a little bit of blush. When I was finally satisfied with the way I looked, I looked at the clock: 8:15. I was early, so I went downstairs to sit and wait for Jack to get there.

As I was waiting, I found my mind wondering over towards Alex and Katelyn and what they were doing together. I hoped she hadn't found some way to turn him against me. I felt a strong sense of depression come on as I realized that I would probably see a lot less of him, especially now that he was officially with that bitch. _Should I tell him about what she said to me today?_ I wondered. Even if I did tell him, I'm not sure he would want to believe me. He was already so head over heels for this girl and it killed me to see that he did not realize what she was going to do to him and his heart. If Alex and I did ever get together_, _he would be damaged goods. Then, I realized that if my boyfriend said something like that to Alex, I would definitely want to know. My decision was made: I would tell him just what kind of a girl he's with tomorrow. As for tonight, I wasn't about to let anyone ruin it for me.

Finally, I heard the car horn beep from outside and ran out the door and into Jack's silver maserati. His parents are ridiculously rich with a whole bunch of nice cars.

"You look very nice," he commented, looking at my outfit as he drove off.

"You don't look so bad yourself," I responded. For once, he wasn't wearing a hat or a sweatshirt. He had on a nice white polo shirt and jeans with plain black sneakers. This was what Jack considered dressing up.

"So where do you want to go for dinner?" he asked.

"It really doesn't matter to me," I responded. "How about we go somewhere cheap though. I don't really have much money."

"The cheaper, the better," he responded.

"How about we just go to a pizza place near the club or something? That's pretty easy."

"That's a good idea."

We drove to the club and decided to see what pizza places were nearby. We finally decided on California Pizza Kitchen, which was just a few blocks down from The Den.

"So why did you want to go clubbing all of a sudden?" Jack asked as we found a table after ordering a medium pizza and splitting the cost, since this was definitely not a date.

"Well, for one thing, I love to dance. I feel like I just need to let loose after this stressful first week of school. And who better to go clubbing with than you, right?" Jack is so funny when he's drunk and dancing. If there's anything I need right now, it's to laugh and just be carefree like Jack.

"Yeah, I hear you. Let's get wasted together."

"That sounds perfect," I said, smiling at him.

A few minutes later, someone came to our table to deliver the pizza. Jack and I were both starving, so we started taking pieces and eating right away.

"So you never told me why you've been acting so weird lately," Jack said in between bites.

"I know I promised I was going to tell you, and I will, but you are going to have to wait until I have a few drinks in me first."

"Ok, how about this? We can wait until 10:00 to go to The Den just in time for the beginning of happy hour and I will buy us both the first round of drinks and you can tell me then."

"Fine, but I really need to be drunk for this. I brought a ton of cash with me just so that I could afford to buy a lot of drinks. Tonight is going to be a wild night."

He raised his eyebrows at me. "Coming from you, that's a pretty big statement. You must really mean business."

I nodded. "You bet your ass I do. No more Miss Nice Girl."

"Taylor, I've never known you to be so...reckless. I like it."

"Well, I'm glad you're happy, Jack," I smiled.

We finished our food and decided to head over to the club since it was 9:45 and happy hour was starting at 10:00.

When we got to the club, there was already a line out the door, so we had to wait for about half an hour just to get in.

"So what can I get for you guys?" the bartender asked when we finally made it in. Jack turned to look at me.

"Hmmm I think I'll start off with a jolly rancher. I need something fruity and strong," I replied.

"And I will have a corona with lime," added Jack.

"Coming right up." The bartender went to make the drinks and came back with two cups of corona and two jolly ranchers. The Den's happy hour was a two for one deal: two drinks for the price of one. All the better for me. Jack paid for the drinks and we went to find a table.

"Ok, now it's your turn for the spotlight," he said as we sat down at a round table for two.

"Hold on, let me drink some of this first." I took a few big sips of my drink. Jack never took his eyes off me.

"Come on, Taylor. You have been stalling for too long. Tell me what's up."

"Ok, fine. Remember when you said I was jealous of Katelyn?"

He nodded.

"Well, you were more right than I admitted."

"What do you mean?"

"I said I was jealous because he was spending time with her when he usually only hung out with us and that he was going to be spending more time with her. I mean, I guess that's true, but there's a lot more to it than that. When I first saw Alex holding hands with Katelyn, I had this terrible feeling in my stomach and I couldn't explain what it was or why I felt it. It was so weird because I never felt that way before in my life, not even when I was with Ryan. Then, Alex came up to me afterwards and told me he was going home with Katelyn, so he gave me his keys. When I was driving home in his car, he was all I could think about. I just had this feeling that things between him and I would change and then I started thinking about why I felt jealous of him and Katelyn. I used to think of him as a brother, but then I realized that now I thought of him as so much more than that. I realized I was in love with him."

"Wow." By the time I was finished, Jack's mouth was completely open.

"Yeah, tell me about it! I was just as surprised as you are now."

"What are you going to do about it?"

"I don't know, but I do know that Katelyn is a complete bitch, and I'm not just saying that."

"What did she say to you?"

"Remember how she followed me to the bathroom yesterday?"

"Yeah."

"She told me that she could see right through me and that Alex was hers. Apparently, if I try to take him away from her, she's going to make him see what a 'bad friend' I was to him all this time. Basically, she means that, if I try anything with him, she'll try to turn him against me." When I said "bad friend," I put two fingers in the air.

"Are you going to tell Alex?"

"You think I should, right? I was thinking about it before and I would want to know if my boyfriend said something like that to my best friend."

"Yeah you should definitely tell him. I had a feeling that girl would turn out to be a bitch."

"By the way, their relationship is now official. He asked her this afternoon and she said yes. He made sure to tell me over a text message." I made a face as I drank more.

"I'm so sorry, Tay." He looked at me with the most sympathetic eyes. "This must be so hard for you.

"Thanks. I feel so...confused and heartbroken. Of course I want him to be happy, but I just wish it could be with me, and not some bitch who's just going to end up using him," I said as I finished my second drink. "I'm just so scared that she's going to ruin our relationship and then break his heart in the end." By this time, I began to cry. Jack took me in his arms and held me.

"Thanks for being so understanding," I said a few minutes later, finally breaking away from him. "I'm not sure what I would do without you, Jack."

"A life without your Barakuda would be very sad," he joked, putting a comforting hand on my back. "Besides, you would do the same thing for me. If Katelyn turns out to be who we think she is, Alex will eventually realize it. If he knows what's good for him, he'll feel lucky for what he has right in front of him: you."

"I hope you're right."

"I know I am. The Jack is never wrong."

I laughed, but got up. "I'm going to go get some more drinks. Do you want anything?"

He shook his head. "Not right now."

I began to make my way towards the bar and noticed that there were a lot of people crowded around it waiting for drinks. I let out a long sigh and decided I would wait with everyone else. I didn't feel like going back by Jack right now because that would mean I would have to talk about Alex again. Talking about Alex meant that I had to think about Alex and, when I thought about Alex, I thought about Alex and Katelyn, which was the last thing I wanted to do.

To distract myself, I began to look around. To my right, there was a large group of guys laughing and talking excitedly, probably already drunk. I noticed as a pair of curious green eyes slowly turned toward me and I looked up to see the rest of his face. His eyes danced with the promise of laughter and fun and his smile was stunning and his dark brown hair fell across his face in thick tufts. My eyes wondered down the rest of his body. His muscles were pretty much perfectly toned and he had a six-pack. Damn. If I had to think of someone to compare him to, I would say that he looked exactly like Zac Efron.

To my surprise, he smiled widely when he caught me looking at him and he began to walk over towards me. "Hey, what's up? You waiting to buy a drink?" he asked as he stationed himself right beside me.

"Yeah, but it seems like it's going to be awhile," I responded, motioning to all the people around us.

He shrugged. "I guess everyone has the same idea. Since we have some time on our hands, what's your name?"

"Taylor, what's yours?"

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Taylor. I'm Kyle," he said, showing me his pearly whites. "I noticed you looking at me from over there and I couldn't help but notice how gorgeous you are."

I blushed. "Thanks. You aren't so bad yourself." I can't believe I just said that...

His smile widened. "How about when this crowd dies down, I buy you a drink?"

Now, it was my turn to smile. "That would be great." Kyle would be exactly the kind of distraction I needed.

"So, Taylor, are you single?" I nodded and he seemed relieved. "Good. So tell me about yourself."

"What do you want to know?"

"Anything you want to tell me."

"Well, I guess you should know that I'm still in high school." When I said this, I searched his face for any sign of surprise, but I didn't find any.

"I'm a sophomore in college, so that does not really bother me," he responded. "I go to Towson."

"Are you originally from Maryland?" I asked. A lot of people that went to Towson came from out of state.

"Yeah, I'm actually from Cockeysville. What about you?"

"Cool. I have some friends out in Cockeysville. I'm from Lutherville-Timmonium, so we are pretty close."

"Nice. I should get your number so that we can hang out sometime."

"Yeah that would definitely be cool."

He took his phone out and told me to put my number in, so I did. There was absolutely nothing wrong with picking up a random guy at a bar, especially since he was a hot college guy. We noticed that most of the crowd had finally gone away, so we went up to the bartender. I decided on a sour appletini while he wanted Bud lite. I downed my drink pretty fast and went right back to get another one.

"You can really hold your liquor," Kyle said in an impressed tone.

"Yeah, but it really sucks when I want to get drunk because it takes longer," I responded as I finished my fourth glass. I was on a role. Kyle got the next one for me.

"Do you want to dance?" he asked as he handed me my next appletini.

"I thought you would never ask," I responded. He took my hand and led me to the middle of the dance floor.

We danced. And then we kept on dancing. Each time Kyle saw that my drink was almost empty, he would go and get me another one without even asking. By my eighth drink, you might say I was pretty wasted.

"Let me get you another one," he said as I finished another drink.

"N-no, no I don't w-want a-another one," I said, grabbing his arm trying to keep him from leaving my side. One more drink and I would be completely done for. I couldn't even speak coherently anymore.

"Are you sure, baby?" he asked as he pulled me close to him. I nodded. "Ok well then lets dance some more." He turned me around and pulled me so close to him that I could feel the boner inside his pants. His hands roamed around my stomach, down to my thighs, and then all the way up to my chest. At this point, I tried to force his hands back down, but to no avail. He was so much stronger than me.

"K-kyle, p-please stop," I stammered. "I d-don't want you to t-touch me there."

"Oh, I'm sorry, baby," he said, not sounding sorry at all. I continued to try to get him to lower his hands, but he wouldn't, so I started to squirm as much as I could. It was hard because I couldn't exactly stand up straight, so I was leaning against him, yet trying to get him to let go of me at the same time.

All of a sudden, he seemed to get frustrated, so he turned me around so that I faced him. He pulled me as close to him as possible and then crushed his lips to mine and started kissing me furiously. I put my hands on his broad chest and tried to push him away but nothing worked. I started moaning and screaming as loud as I could, but he continued as if that was supposed to be a sign that I liked it. My knees gave out and I felt like I couldn't breathe.

He picked me up before I could fall, his lips never breaking apart from mine. I felt my world closing in around me. I punched and hit and pushed against his chest, but he just kept on going.

A hand appeared on Kyle's shoulder and he finally broke apart from me. I gasped for air and nearly fell over again. Kyle turned around to see who had literally laid a hand on him and came face to face with Alex and Jack. I had never seen either of them look so furious in my entire life.

"Yes? Was there something you needed?" Kyle said, clearly pissed off that they had ruined his fun with me.

"Take. Your. Hands. Off. Her." Alex spat out giving him the death stare.

Kyle pulled me even closer to his side and I nearly stumbled over his foot. "No way," he smirked. "She's mine. Get your own." He motioned to the rest of the people in the club. "There are plenty of others to choose from." It was then that Alex's fist collided with Kyle's face.

"N-no, stop!" I screamed as Kyle punched Alex back and Alex went at him. I tried to break them apart, but Kyle pushed me so hard that I fell down. Jack grabbed Alex and tried to hold him back, but then Kyle just punched Jack too, so all three started fighting. I found that I could not get up to break up the fight that was caused over me, so I started to cry. This was definitely not how I wanted my wild night to turn out.

A short time later, the bouncer came over and finally broke up the fight and threw us out on the street. Kyle was sporting a bloody lip and a cut on his forehead, Jack had a swollen cheek, and Alex had a bloody nose and a black eye. It was a pretty gruesome sight to see. As soon as the bouncer disappeared behind the closed door, Alex took my arm and started pulling me toward his car and Jack followed. I looked over my shoulder and saw Kyle standing there watching us leave. He put a hand up and waved to me. "I'll call you!" he said.

"Like hell you will," Alex said under his breath. When we got to his car, he opened the front door and helped me get into it. He drove Jack to his car I'm guessing because he did not want Kyle to try anything else. After he dropped Jack off, he pushed his foot down on the accelerator and we sped away.

I looked over at him again. I had never seen him look this furious before. His whole face was completely red and he would not even look at me. Those big brown eyes I knew so well stared determinedly at the dark road ahead. We drove along in silence. He seemed to be too mad to talk and I didn't know what to say. Eventually, we got to my house and he helped me up to my room without a word.

"Alex..." I said hesitantly as he was about to leave.

"Taylor, how the fuck could you be so stupid?" he exploded. He stared me dead in the eye now. It seemed I had opened Pandora's Box. "Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you? He could have taken you off somewhere and raped you or even killed you! I never thought that you of all people would do something like this."

"Do wh-what? Have a little f-fun for once in my l-life?" I stammered, getting angry now too. "Y-you and I never do s-stuff like this. I've been telling you for the l-longest time that I w-wanted to t-try that p-place out and you kept putting it off. M-maybe if we had g-gone before, the option would not have been so appealing to me t-tonight."

He shook his head at me. "Don't you dare try to put this on me. You acted like an idiot tonight and you know it. You have no idea how much you scared Jack and I. He called me when I was with Katelyn and I never heard him sound so scared in his life. He really thought something had happened to you. It took the longest time for us to find you after I got there. You have no idea about the things that were going through my head as we were looking for you. I was so scared that we weren't going to find you..." He stopped talking and turned away from me with a pained look on his face.

"Alex, I really am s-sorry," I responded. I felt hot salt water start to come out of my eyes again and I brushed my tears away impatiently. "I never meant for any of this to happen. I just wanted to have a good time with Jack, but then I met Kyle at the bar and kind of forgot about my initial plan. I never meant to hurt anyone."

"I know you didn't mean any harm, but how the hell could you think that picking up some random guy in a bar is ok? You had absolutely no idea who that guy was, Taylor. He could have been a rapist or a serial killer for all you knew. It's a good thing I found you when I did. He could have taken you away to some hotel room somewhere and raped you."

"God, Alex, h-how many times do I have to s-say I'm s-s-sorry?" It's rough trying to talk when you are drunk and crying. "I know I was s-stupid, o-ok? I kn-know it's my f-fault that you and J-Jack got in a f-fight with K-Kyle and y-you got k-kicked out of the c-club and I'm so f-fucking sorry!"

"Well, sometimes sorry isn't good enough" he said through unrelenting eyes. "You still won't admit just how badly you could have been hurt. I saw how he grabbed your boobs and then kissed you and how you tried to get him off you. The only thing you have yourself to blame for is letting him near you in the first place."

"I-I didn't think that was g-going to h-happen."

"Well, thank you, Captain Obvious," he said as he threw his hands up in the air in frustration. "You seem to specialize in naivety lately. And I can't believe how you just ditched Jack like that. What a terrible thing to do to a best friend."

"I-I know, Alex. I'm the sc-scum of the e-earth," I said miserably. "J-Jack doesn't d-deserve that."

"Yes, speaking of which, how dare you tell Katelyn to stay away from me," He got in my face and I could see the anger in his eyes.

"Wh-what?" I said, taking a step back.

"Don't you fucking play dumb with me! She told me how you said that you were going to make sure you stayed the only girl in my life."

"And you believed her?" I asked incredulously. My tears turned angry and I was finally able speak clearly; being this upset killed my buzz. "Alex, you are my best friend! How could you think that I would do something like that to you?"

"Well, I didn't think you would ever go off and get drunk with random strangers probably just to get attention, but you did that, so who's to say you didn't do this too? What reason would Katelyn have to lie to me?"

"Gee I don't know maybe because she's a lying bitch who's using you?" I said condescendingly. "What reason would I have for lying to you?"

"Jealousy."

"And why the hell would I be jealous of her?"

"Because I'm going to be spending more and more time with her and you know that. It kills you because I'm finally moving on from my old relationships and you're still stuck in the past."

I looked up at him with glassy, pain-filled eyes. "We have known each other since we were two years old and we grew up together. My family is your family and vice versa. After all this time, you believe some girl you just met like two days ago over me, your best friend for the past fifteen years. Do you even realize how much that hurts me?"

"Not as much as it hurts me," he said looking at me through his cold hard eyes.

"Get out."

"What?"

"You heard me. Get the hell out of my room, Alex. If you can't believe what I'm telling you and if you can't trust me, then I don't want to see you."

"Fine." He walked toward the door, but when he put his hand on the doorknob, he turned to look at me again. "We're done," he whispered.

"Wh-what are you talking about?" Now that I lost my conviction, my face crumpled and the tears fell uncontrollably.

"I mean that I can't be friends with someone who lies to me.

"F-fine," I said. My lips quivered around the word. "And I c-can't be f-friends with s-someone who d-doesn't t-trust me."

"Fine," he repeated. He turned away from me and left without another word.

I collapsed on my bed as the tears began to fall even more quickly. I watched as he came into his room and immediately pulled the shades down. _So much for Peter Pan and Tinker Bell,_ I thought bitterly.

**Chapter 9: Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have**

_Alex's P.O.V._

Hey  
You always seem to catch me when I'm lying  
about the stupidest of things  
Okay  
Sit around I'll stab you in the back  
with words I never never should have taken this so far

Go ahead and buy yourself a drink  
Cause you know you're deserving of it  
Go ahead and cry yourself to sleep  
And think how you hate me so bad.

I groaned as "Believe Me, I'm Lying" by Forever the Sickest Kids came blasting out of my alarm clock and hit the snooze button with all the energy I could. When I came home last night, the first thing I did was shut my curtain and climb into bed. No matter how hard I tried, I could not get any sleep for the second night in a row. My mind was of course on Taylor and our fight last night. I half expected her to call me and apologize for everything that went wrong, but she didn't. She was the one who went out and got drunk and nearly raped last night and I got her away from that douche bag, but she didn't seem the least bit thankful. I noticed that, when I accused her of being jealous of Katelyn, something in her expression had changed. It was almost like she wanted to defend her reasons for being jealous, not deny them. That's what convinced me that she was lying.

It's a really awful feeling knowing that our friendship will never be the same again or if it can even be considered a friendship anymore. Never in a million years would I have thought that Taylor would do something like this to me. How could she lie to me like this after being my best friend for fifteen years? After my family, she is the only person that really knows me inside and out. She was there for me during all the hard times and it blew my mind how she could turn so completely in such a short amount of time. This just goes to show that you really can't trust anyone but yourself.

My alarm clock went off again, so I let out a long, frustrated sigh and got out of bed. Rian had a family wedding to go to later, so we had to get our meeting done early in the day. If we could have had it any other way, we would have had the meeting in the afternoon and not 10:30 in the morning. In my opinion, anyone between the ages of thirteen and twenty-two should not have to get up any earlier than noon on weekends.

I went through the usual boring morning routine of getting dressed and brushing my teeth and went downstairs to grab a bowl of cereal. I was not surprised to find Eric sitting at the kitchen table reading the sports section of the newspaper when I walked in. He was the exact opposite of me; he loved waking up early and having a nice morning.

"Hey, Bro, what are you doing up?" he asked me. "It's only 10:00AM. That's pretty damn early for you."

"We have a band meeting at 10:30. Trust me, if I had any other choice, I would still be in bed. Rian has some dumb wedding to go to later." I sat down across from him and began digging into my cereal. When he caught sight of me, he lowered his newspaper and stared at my face.

"Dude, what's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing," I said, avoiding his gaze and focusing on my delicious cereal.

He shook his head. "You know I can always tell when you're lying, even if the dark circles under your eyes didn't give it away. Is it Katelyn?"

I sighed. He was going to find out one way or another anyway. "No, it's Taylor."

"What happened?" I could tell that he was concerned now.

I told him everything that happened last night. By the time I was done, he had his head in his palm.

"What a mess," he said breathlessly. "Are you sure she's lying to you though? It really doesn't seem like Taylor to be that petty. After all, Taylor has been your best friend for practically your whole life and you've only known this Katelyn girl for like three days."

I shook my head. "I'm pretty sure she did. She seemed like she was going to defend her reasons for being jealous instead of denying them, which, to me, is a dead giveaway. Even if she's not lying to me about this, she's still hiding something. We have never kept a secret from each other for all this time. For all the time we've been friends, she has never acted like this."

"If she's keeping something from you, I'm sure she will come to you about it soon. Maybe it's just something that's really hard for her to admit to."

"Maybe, but she usually talks to me about it even then."

He shrugged. "I don't know then. Trying to understand a girl's mind is like trying to understand a foreign language that you've never even heard spoken out loud before. Unless you have a translator, it's impossible."

"I just wish things could go back to normal."

"I don't blame you. She's been your best friend for most of your life. It would be a shame to throw it away over one little fight."

"Yeah, it would," I said. I looked at my watch. 10:25. "Shit, Eric, I have to go." I got up, put my bowl in the sink, and ran to get my keys and guitar.

"Hey, Alex?" he asked as I was about to run out the door. I turned around to look at him. "Just don't forget what's important." I nodded then opened the door and left.

We usually met at Jack's house. He had a basement that was quiet and easy to work in with little distractions. Of course, when we did need the distraction, we could whip out Halo or Rock Band. His house was only like ten minutes away from mine, so it wasn't so bad that I left so late. At this point, the boys had come to expect it of me.

When I got there, the door was left open for me, so I just went right in.

"Who is that?" a female voice floated down from upstairs.

"It's just me, Joyce," I yelled back.

"Oh, hello, Alex dear!" Joyce, Jack's mother, said as she came down the stairs and gave me an awkward hug. Joyce thought of me as another son because I was over there so much. My mom felt the same about Jack. "The boys are in the basement. You can go right down."

I let go of Joyce and walked downstairs to find Rian, Jack and Zack sitting on the couches, the latter two with guitars.

"Well, it's about fucking time, Gaskarth!" Rian said trying to pretend to be mad.

"Yeah, yeah, shut up. Let's get started," I responded. I wasn't in the mood for fucking around today. "I have a new song I wrote a few nights ago." I took the song out of my pocket and handed it over for them to look at. We messed around with the song for a little while, changing some words or phrases and working on the rhythms, melodies, and harmonies. By the time we were done, the song was practically ready to be performed. We worked on the song for pretty much the whole day. By the time we were done, it was about 4:00PM and we decided to play Halo.

"So, Alex, when are you going to tell us what's wrong?" Jack asked in the middle of the game.

"What the hell are you talking about?" I asked, not taking my eyes off the screen. Why did every single person I knew have to be so damn observant?

"Oh, come on!" said Rian. "You look like shit and you haven't been acting yourself at all today."

"Yeah, you didn't even make fun of Jack for how much he sucks at the guitar. That's usually an everyday occurrence," said Zack.

"Taylor and I got in a huge fight last night," I responded. It was no use lying to them; they would see right through it.

Jack shut off the game and dropped his controller. "Ok, Gaskarth, spill your guts."

We all sat back down on the couches, Zack and I on one couch and Rian and Jack on the other. I told them about everything that happened last night including the club since Zack and Rian weren't there to witness it like Jack and I were. By the time I was done, Jack looked like he wanted to punch me in the face.

"Dude, you are such an asshole," he said shaking his head at me.

"What the fuck? Why am I an asshole?"

"Seriously, you are going to believe some girl you've only known for a few days and who is notorious for being a slut over your own best friend? I don't blame Taylor for kicking you out of her house."

"But I could tell that she was lying to me! She got all defensive and her tone changed when I said that she was jealous, which obviously means that she is jealous."

All of a sudden, Jack was in my face. "You really don't get it, do you?" he asked angrily. He searched my confused face. "Katelyn has got you wrapped around her little finger and you don't even realize it. Taylor never said anything like that to her. In fact, it was the other way around. Why do you think she wanted to go out and get drunk? She told me all about how Katelyn threatened her when we got drinks." He backed up off me and went to sit back down.

"But then why wouldn't she just say that in the first place?"

"Maybe she was trying to save you the heartbreak," Rian suggested.

"She was going to, but she never got the chance," said Jack.

"Bullshit," I said. "She was completely silent on the ride home from the bar. She could have told me then, but she chose not to. How am I supposed to believe that she was telling the truth?"

"BECAUSE SHE'S YOUR FUCKING BEST FRIEND!" Jack exploded. "You have known her longer than any of us and she has been with you through everything. You have no idea how hard it is for me not to punch you right now."

"I can't believe you can defend her after the way she treated you last night. She left you there and ditched you for some asshole."

"That has absolutely nothing to do with this. Taylor is going through a hard time right now, not that you would know anything about that."

That statement stopped me in my tracks. "What do you mean she's going through a hard time? What's going on?"

"You have been spending all your time with your fucking girlfriend these past few days that you didn't even realize what was happening to her right before your very eyes. But don't even think that I'm going to be the one to tell you what's wrong with her. That's up to her and her alone. She'll come to you when she wants to."

It felt strange knowing that Jack knew something about Taylor that I didn't. For some reason, I absolutely hated it. I was the one who was her best friend. I was supposed to know more about her then he did, yet here I found myself at a loss. God, why did this girl have to be so fucking frustrating?

At that moment, I felt my phone begin to vibrate, so I took it out and answered it.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Hi, Honey," said my mom. "I just wanted to remind you that we have plans to go out to dinner with the Swifts tonight. Barbara and David want to spend some time with Eric before he goes back to school."

"Ok, where are we going? I can meet you there."

"We're meeting at Maggiano's at 5:30 to beat the dinner crowd. Taylor said she wants Italian. It's around 5:00 now so you might want to get going."

"Ok, I'll see you soon then, Mom." We said goodbye and hung up.

Five minutes later, I left Jack's house and drove toward the restaurant with everything Jack had just said still stuck in my mind. Why would Taylor tell him something about herself and not tell me? I decided that this dinner would be the perfect way to get the answers I needed.

**Chapter 10: Confrontation**

_Alex's P.O.V._

Have you ever gone for a long drive by yourself just so that you could think about all your problems? Whenever I have a lot on my mind, I either write or go for a long drive. When I want to clear my head, driving does wonders. I was glad that Maggiano's was a far drive; it felt good to just relax, put the windows down and feel the air blowing on my face and through my hair. I was completely refreshed and in a much better mood by the time I got to the restaurant.

I saw that my family and Taylor's had already been seated at a table outside, so I walked over. Everyone got up to give me a hug. Scratch that, almost everyone. I noticed that Taylor deliberately stayed in her seat and it seemed that, when she got here, she made sure to sit as far away as possible from the only empty seat left: my seat. She wanted to see me and talk to me as little as possible. She was wearing those big goofy glasses of hers and had a lot of eye makeup on. She must have been so hung-over.

"So, how did the band meeting go?" my mom asked me as we all sat down and I began looking at the menu.

"It went well. We started working on a new song I wrote," I responded. I decided to leave out the part about Jack and me arguing over Taylor. That whole story probably would not go over so well with our parents.

"That's great, Alex," said Barbara, Taylor's mom. "When do you play your next show?"

"I'm actually not sure yet. We don't have any scheduled as of right now, but we're working on it. Right now, it's kind of hard since we are still in school, so we're really limited when it comes to time."

"Speaking of which," said Eric. "Alex, I actually have a favour to ask of you and maybe Taylor too if she wants to." He quickly looked over at her and then went on. "We still have a spot open for someone to sing the national anthem for one of our home games, so I was wondering if you guys would do it together for me."

"Yeah, sure," I responded. If Eric needed me to do this for him, then of course I would.

"I'm in," said Taylor. Of course she would too. After all, he was almost as much her brother as he was mine.

"You guys are awesome," my brother said.

"So, Eric, your mom told me that you and Holly are moving in together. That's a pretty big step," said David.

He nodded. "Yeah we are pretty excited about it. We're ready to take that next step and see how it goes."

They continued to talk about Eric and his life and other things that were going on for about a half an hour. Taylor and I just sat there listening idly and doing our absolute best to avoid each other's eyes. I was trying to think of ways to get her to talk to me, but I couldn't think of anything remotely creative. I decided I would ask her after we were all done eating.

While I was sitting at the table, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket again, so I took it out.

_From: Katelyn  
Hey, Baby! I miss you! When will I get to see you again?_

_I miss you too,_ I responded. _It feels like forever since I've seen you last, even though it was only yesterday. We should hang out tomorrow._

We continued texting back and forth for the next few minutes. It was decided that we would go see a movie and then spend the rest of the day together. This definitely helped put a smile on my face.

After dinner, the adults decided that we would all go back to my house so that we could all spend more time together in peace. When we got out to the parking lot, I immediately noticed how Taylor suddenly stuck to her father's side like glue. She left with him before I even got the chance to ask her if she wanted to come in my car. My mom did not want me to have to drive back alone for some reason, so she decided to go back in my car, while Eric went with my dad.

"So what's going on with you and Taylor?" she asked when we were in the car and on our way home. "You two barely spoke the whole night and usually we can't get you to leave."  
"It's a long story, Mom. I really don't feel like going into it."

"Ok, but I just want you to know that I am here for you no matter what. If something is on your mind, you can always come to me."

"Thanks, Mom," I said, smiling at her. "That means a lot." And it did.

"It's so odd how you and Taylor are so grown up now," my mom said, suddenly getting nostalgic. "You guys always used to play together when you were little." A thought crossed her mind and she chuckled. "You know what's funny? Melanie and I used to think that you and Taylor would end up together. Sometimes, we still do."

"What makes you think that?" Why does everyone always think that Taylor and I are together or should be together? She's practically my sister! I don't t think I would ever be able to feel that way about her.

"Well you guys are always inseparable. There's never one without the other. When you were little, you used to hold hands and sometimes you still do. Just the other week I walked into your room and saw both of you sleeping, her wrapped up in your arms. It was so cute. I wanted to take a picture, but I didn't want to wake you up. Most people would not show that much physical affection towards each other in a normal friendship between a guy and a girl."

I thought about what she said. I guess I could see her point. Taylor and I did touch each other a lot (in a non-sexual way, of course!) and I guess other people may have seen that for a different kind of closeness than it was. I still could not see myself thinking of her as anything other than a sister, though. "Mom," I said hesitantly. "Taylor and I, we're not really like that. We don't have those feelings for each other. I'm not sure I could ever feel like that about her. It would be like dating my sister."

"I understand that now," she responded. "It's just that it seemed like it was something more than that for awhile. I can see now that I was wrong."

We didn't speak again for the rest of the ride. Each of us was too busy thinking about what the other person had said.

Soon, I pulled up to my driveway and saw that we were the first ones home due to my insane speeding abilities. I went upstairs to put some of my stuff away, including my guitar. When I raised my shade to let some light into the room, I was surprised to find Taylor's so far down that the only thing I saw behind her window was black. I shut my shade again. There was no way I wanted to look out my window just to see darkness.

A few minutes later, I heard the front door open and close, so I went downstairs.

"Melanie, I'm really sorry, but I'm not really feeling that well, so I think I'm just going to go home," Taylor was saying as I came down the stairs.

"Are you sure, Honey?" my mom asked her.

She nodded. "Yeah, I just need to lay down for a little bit." My mom gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Then, she repeated the same process with Eric and my dad.

"Taylor, wait!" I said just as she was about to leave.

She turned around to look at me for the first time that night. I could see surprise in her eyes as she was trying to guess what I was going to say. "Alex, I really have to go," she said, leaving her hand on the front doorknob.

"I just need to talk to you privately. Please, just give me five minutes. That's all it will take." Without waiting for her answer, I gently grabbed her arm and pulled her upstairs to my room.

"You know, I don't get you, Alex," she said coldly as I shut the door. "Last night, you said our friendship was over and now you want to talk to me again. Make up your mind."

"Listen, last night I think we both might have said some things we didn't mean. Jack said some things to me before that got me thinking about some things I had never really considered before. He said that you were going through a hard time, which caught me off guard because usually I know more about you than him, not the other way around. I guess I just want to know what it was that made you want to go out and get drunk. We always used to tell each other everything."

She took a step toward me and looked me directly in the eyes. "Look, I know I acted stupid last night and I truly am sorry, I am. I'm really glad you stopped Kyle before he could hurt me more and I'm glad we all got out of there, but that doesn't change what happened afterward. You really hurt me when you accused me of lying to you when I have never lied to you before and you didn't have any proof. When you told me that you didn't want to be my friend anymore, my heart shattered." She paused to wipe away a tear that had escaped from her eye. "Never would I ever have thought I would have heard those words coming from your mouth."

"Taylor, I'm sorry," I choked out. The pain in her words and the knowledge that I was the reason for that pain tore me up. "I never meant to say that. I was just angry at you for everything that had happened. Before, I had a really good date with Katelyn, but then Jack called and I had to run out. It just really pissed me off that, after all that I did for you, you acted so blasé about it; you didn't even seem to care if you got hurt. And about what Katelyn said about you, I was just so confused. You are my best friend, but, at the same time, I really like this girl."

"If you want to be with her, that's fine. I can't stop you, but I just wish you would trust that I was telling you the truth."

"I do trust you, but the problem is I trust her too. Either way, you are right; I should have at least had proof if I was going to accuse you of lying. I'm sorry for that."

"I wish I could say I forgive you, but that really hurt me, Alex."

"I know it did. You are my best friend and I should have believed you, but I wasn't in my right mind. Our friendship is too important for me to just give up."

"Lucky for you it's important for me too."

"Good," I smiled. "There is something I need to know though and I need you to be completely honest." I studied her face and she nodded for me to go on. "Are you hiding something from me?" She hesitated and then nodded again. I put one hand on her cheek and put the other one under her chin to lift her face up so that I could look her in the eye. "Taylor, what is it?" I asked pleading with her. "What's going on with you?"

She took a step back and I felt her face fall away from my grasp. "It's...it's not something I'm ready to tell you yet." Her eyes fell to the ground and she would not look at me. "I'm not sure if I'll ever be ready to say it or if you'll be ready to hear it."

"So you tell Jack all your fucking secrets now and I'm not allowed to know anything anymore?" I suddenly exploded. Knowing that there was something she wasn't telling me was eating me alive inside. I had to know what it was that she was keeping from me.

Now she had anger in her eyes. "Jack is the only one that has stayed by me through all of this. You were too busy with your precious Katelyn to even realize that anything was going on with me. You're too late now, Gaskarth. Can't you please accept that I will tell you if I want to and when I am ready?"

"To be completely honest, I don't know. Now that I know that you are keeping something from me, it's going to bother me. We've never kept secrets from each other. I just wonder why you decided to start now."

"Do you think I like keeping things from you? If I could tell you, I would, but, if I do tell you, it could completely ruin our friendship."

"But, if you don't tell me, it could ruin our friendship anyway."

"I'm not ready to tell you! Why can't you just accept that?"

"Taylor, just fucking tell me! Whatever it is, I'm sure we can get through it."

She looked at me furiously and I could see that something in her mind had changed. "Fine!" she said, grabbing my face in both her hands. "But I won't need to use words." With that, she pulled my face closer to her and placed her soft pink lips on mine. Holy shit.

**Chapter 11: Break Your Little Heart In Two**

_Taylor's P.O.V._

It's been about two months since I have last spoken to Alexander William Gaskarth. Here's pretty much how it went after my moment of spontaneity (or stupidity): after he recovered from his surprise, he pulled back immediately and made up some lame excuse that he was tired and then left even though we were in his room. We haven't spoken since.

The first night was probably the worst. Of course, I cried myself to sleep; I cried until my whole body ached from all the heaving. The next day, I only got out of my bed to go to the bathroom. There was nothing I wanted to do other than stare at the wall and cry. Every time my parents came in to check on me and force food down my throat, I acted sick. My face was pale, my eyes were red, and there were tissues all over, so it wasn't that hard to believe.

I faked sick for the rest of the week. There was no way I could handle going to school and seeing him with her without having a breakdown. He would be driving her to school instead of me. He would be eating lunch with her, walking her to class, holding her hand in the hallway. How was I supposed to deal with that? I would not be able to see my ex-best friend, now the love of my life, with the girl who took it all away from me without feeling my heart break apart in my chest all over again.

Being the good friend he was, Jack called me every day, but I could not tell him what had happened, at least not over the phone. I wanted to see him and I missed him, so I told him to come over one day. When he walked up to my room and saw me lying in bed still in my pajamas, he knew something was wrong, but my heartbroken eyes were the real giveaway. After I finished telling him the story, he took me in his arms and let me cry for as long as I needed. After that, he brought up some food and forced me to eat it because he could tell I hadn't been eating. Really, I didn't deserve to have a friend like Jack, especially after the way I treated him at The Den.

The week after that, I knew I couldn't skip school anymore. I avoided Alex like the plague. I left too early in the morning and too late in the afternoon so that I wouldn't have to worry about running into him on the front lawn. I walked the long way to my classes so that I would not have to worry about running into him in the hallway. Jack and I ate lunch in the library so that I would not have to see him holding her hand at lunch. After school, I would go straight up to my room, make sure the curtains were still closed, and stay there for the rest of the night. That has pretty much been my schedule for the last two months. It hasn't gotten any easier.

Of course, there were those occasional times where I would be forced to see Alex. My parents forced me to come to all our joint family dinners and it seemed his parents did the same with him. For the most part, both of us would just sit there awkwardly avoiding each other's eyes and only speaking when forced to. Each time, my mother would ask me why Alex and I never said a word to each other. Each time, I told her the same thing; we had grown apart. My life would have been so much easier if that was the truth.

Now, it was Monday, November 23rd, three days before Thanksgiving. I knew I would be forced to see Alex no matter what. Our families always had Thanksgiving together; it had been a tradition ever since before I could remember. Ever since Eric went to college, we would go to University of Maryland in the morning and watch him play his home Thanksgiving soccer game and then we would go home and have dinner at one of our houses. We alternated each year. We would invite only the immediate relatives in each family such as our grandmothers, aunts, or uncles. Jack would always come over for dessert.

Speaking of Jack, we were both currently eating lunch in the library.

"I can't believe it's already Thanksgiving," he said. "This year is really flying by."

"Ugh, don't remind me," I said, making a face. "That means I'm going to have to see Alex. I'm sorry, Jack. I know he's still your friend and everything, but, right now, I just really can't stand being around him."

Jack had decided to stay friends with Alex after I had told him what happened. A part of me thought it was because he did not want the band to break up. Another, more bitter part of me thought it was because he thought Alex was right. If I had kissed him, would he go running for the hills too? A few weeks ago, he had asked me to stop saying bad things about Alex. He said he understood that I was hurt and everything, but Alex was still his friend too even though he spent most of his time with Katelyn. I have been trying to honour his wishes, but sometimes it was too hard.

Today, something was different though. When I mentioned Alex, Jack seemed to grow slightly uncomfortable.

"I know, Tay, and I don't blame you," he said. He looked like he was about to say something, but then he decided against it. I could see right through him just like he could see right through me.

"Is there something you need to tell me, Barakuda?" I asked.

He stared at me intently for a moment, deciding whether or not to tell me what he was thinking and then his eyes travelled down to the table. "I don't know if I should," he finally said.

"Jack, you can tell me anything."

"But it's about Alex."

I gulped. "Oh." If I wanted to know something about Alex, I would usually have to be the one to ask; Jack never volunteered information because he was never sure if I wanted to hear it. If he suddenly changed his mind, it must have meant something big happened.

"Yeah."

I sighed. "Jack, just tell me." Now that I knew that he had news, it would eat me alive if he didn't tell me what it was.

He hesitated again before speaking. "Ok well Alex told me today in class that he spent the night with Katelyn last night."

I blew all the air out of my mouth before answering. "Alex lost his virginity a year ago, so that doesn't really surprise me. I have come to terms with the fact that he's a man whore a long time ago."

"No, it's not that," he responded. "He told me that after, while they were in bed, he told her...he told her he loved her and she said she loved him too." He looked up into my eyes when he said the last part.

"Oh," I repeated. My brain could not form coherent sentences. I could feel all the breath whoosh out of me and I gasped for air. "Excuse me," I said as I got up. I was about to flee to the lady's room, but then Jack's hand firmly grabbed my arm and pulled me into his lap. I could no longer control the gasping and heaving and I broke down in his arms. The people around us started to stare, but I could not control the waterworks coming out of my eyes or the horrible, painful sounds coming from my mouth. Just as I thought everything was starting to get better, my wound was ripped open again as fresh and bloody as it ever was.

It took about half an hour for me to pull myself together again. I felt like a zombie for the rest of the day; I was dead to the world and nothing mattered to me besides Jack's words. After two months of dating, he told her he loved her. After fifteen years of friendship, there was none of him left over for me. I guess I just wasn't important enough for him.

School made me claustrophobic, so I got out as soon as I possibly could. I thought there could be nothing worse waiting for me at home than there was at school. Boy was I wrong.  
When I got out of my car, I saw his car pull up to the curb in front of his house. He must have been riding behind me and I just didn't notice. I couldn't help but watch as he got out of the car and walked around to open the door for her. As she stepped out, her dark red hair blew against the wind. Her green eyes looked over and found mine. She smiled, pulling Alex toward her and kissing him with all the passion she could manage.

My arms dropped and everything I was holding fell out of my hands. Alex broke apart from her and turned at the sound. For one brief second our eyes met. When he saw that I was the cause of all the noise, he almost seemed, well...

Sorry.

No. I couldn't let myself think like that. He wasn't sorry at all. He was an asshole who dropped his best friend for his girlfriend. I quickly picked up my books and ran inside without taking another look back, afraid of what I might see.

I didn't stop running until I got to my room. For the first time in my life, I wished more than anything that my parents would come into my room and tell me that we were moving. I did not think I could bear a repeat of what just happened.

I lay down on my bed and looked up at the ceiling, giving myself a chance to fully absorb everything that had happened that day, which probably was not the best idea.

Why was seeing them kissing such a big shock to me? I mean, apparently he "loved" the girl, whatever that meant. When I thought about it, I realized that Alex had changed even more than I realized. It seemed like she encouraged him to be more affectionate in public so that she could show him off. I guess what surprised me was that he let her. Don't get me wrong, Alex was not opposed to PDA, but he never exactly flaunted it all the time. Now it seemed that he would make out with her any place, any time. Nothing was more important to him than her and making her happy.

I felt my phone start to vibrate in my pocket, so I opened it up and saw that I got a text from Eric.

_Hey remember how you and Alex promised me that you would sing the national anthem at one of my games back in September?_

Of course I remembered. That was only one of the worst days of my life. _Yeah, I remember, why?_ I wrote back.

_I'm going to need to hold you to that promise for this upcoming Thanksgiving game. The person that was supposed to do it just backed out. You game?_

Eric, I'm not sure if I can...

Taylor, you promised me. You never break your promises. I would do this for you.

Damn it he had a point. I sighed and texted back, _Ok fine, I'll do it._

You're the best. Alex said to tell you to meet him at his house at 7:00PM on Wednesday so you can practice.

Fine.

So that meant that Alex must have talked to Eric about me. I couldn't stop myself from wondering what they had each said about me. However, there was one thing I was sure of: I just agreed to see the man who had broken my heart. Bad idea? I think so. Wednesday would prove to be an interesting night.

**Chapter 12: When The World Caves In**

_Taylor's P.O.V._

You know how when you are dreading something, time seems to just fly by? Before I knew it, it was Wednesday. I had discussed what I would do about Alex with Jack and decided that I would try not to tell him any personal information. We would talk about the music and that would be it. Much easier said than done.

Part of me had the feeling that Eric had done this on purpose. He must have known that Alex and I have not been speaking, so he asked us to do this to bring us closer together. Maybe he waited until Thanksgiving to remind us what we should have been thankful for. Only thing wrong with that theory was that I wasn't the one who needed the reminding.

It seemed like no time had passed at all between the time I got home and the time I had to walk over to Alex's. My parents were not surprised in the least when I told them I was going next door to practice, so I guess someone else must have let them in on the secret. God only knows what our parents said about us behind our backs...

I walked as slowly as humanly possible, but, even then, it only took me about three minutes to get from my door to his. I sighed as I took out my key and let myself into his house. There was no use stalling anymore. I mind as well get this over with.

To my right, Melanie and Robert were sitting on the couch watching television. When they heard me come in, they each got up and gave me a hug.

"Taylor, Sweetie, it's so good to see you!" Melanie exclaimed. "We really miss you around here."

"I miss you too," I said, smiling at the woman who was practically my mother. I felt bad for not seeing her more often. I haven't been over here ever since Alex and I had stopped being friends. I guess I need to try to remember that these people are my family too.

"You look taller and your hair grew since we last saw you," said Robert, giving me an affectionate kiss on the cheek.

I nodded. "I'm sorry I haven't been by to see you guys. I've just been really busy lately with school and everything and Alex has been busy with Katelyn I'm sure, so I didn't really think there was a reason for me to come."

"Don't worry, about it, Dear," said Melanie. "Things are changing. It happens. I just want you to know that you can come over here whenever you want to though. We love you and you are always welcome, whether Alex is here or not. That part will never change."

"Thanks, Melanie. I love you guys too." I said, giving her another hug.

I heard footsteps, so I turned around and saw Alex coming down the stairs with his guitar. He was wearing his usual beanie, black skinny jeans, and a plain white v-neck t-shirt.

"Oh good, Alex, Honey, you are here," said Melanie. "Why don't you guys go practice down in the basement? It'll be quieter down there. We're going to go out for a little bit because we need to go food shopping, so we will see you guys later."

Alex nodded and started walking toward the basement. I turned to give Melanie and Robert one last wave goodbye and followed Alex downstairs. I heard the front door open and close as his parents left the house.

"Hi," he said awkwardly when I got to the bottom of the stairs.

"Hi," I responded trying to sound as cold as I could.

We stood there staring at each other for a long time. Some people might call this an "awkward turtle" moment.

"So, uhm, how have you been?" he asked after awhile.

"Look, Alex, I really just came here for Eric. I think we should just work on the music and that's all." There was no way I was going to let him think that I would just forgive and forget.

"Ok, fine." He sat down on the couch and propped his guitar on his lap. I sat as far away from him as I could. "Which verses do you want to sing? Since you are a girl, I think you should sing the higher part at the end."

"I don't really have that high of a voice, but whatever."

"Do you have a problem with that?"

"No, it's fine, I'll sing the damn verse. Let's keep going."

"Maybe it would be easiest if we just did every other line and then both finished it off at the end."

"Yeah that sounds good. And that makes things a lot easier."

"Do you want to open or should I?" he asked.

"It doesn't matter to me. Why don't we try it both ways and see which way sounds better?"

"Ok, let's do it."

For the next hour, we sang the Star Spangled Banner over and over again, each time changing minor details. By the time we were done and completely ready for tomorrow, we were tired and cranky. I gathered my stuff and got up to leave.

"Taylor, wait," he said, grabbing my arm so that I would turn to face him.

"What is it, Alex?" I asked angrily looking him straight in the eye so that he could see the power of my emotion.

"I-I miss you," he said and he looked down at the floor.

"Well, maybe you should have thought of that before you ran out on me. Now, please let go of me," I said while trying to break free from his tight grasp.

"I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you and I hate myself for it." Suddenly, he was looking at me again and his eyes were pleading.

"So the fact that you are sorry is just supposed to magically make everything ok? Alex, you refused to believe me when I was telling you the truth, ran out on me, broke my heart, and didn't speak to me for two months! How the hell am I just supposed to forgive you for that? Just because you are sorry doesn't excuse the fact that you are a complete douche bag. I'm sick of crying over you because you don't deserve my tears."

He nodded slowly. "I know and you are absolutely right. I'm a jackass and I don't deserve to have you as my best friend again. I'll tell you one thing though. I'm not going to make the same mistake again and I'll prove it to you if you'll give me a chance."

"And what makes you think you even deserve a second chance."

"Everyone makes mistakes. That's the only way we ever learn. It has killed me these past few months knowing that I couldn't go to you whenever I needed you and that I was the reason for that. I don't want to lose any more time with you."

"But I kissed you and you ran out on me!"

"I know and I was a coward. I guess that kiss scared me pretty bad. I didn't want things to change or get weird between us."

"So you just decided to ignore me altogether? Great strategy," I said bitingly sarcastic.

"I didn't know what to do, Taylor! You were like a sister to me and I didn't know what to do at the moment. Afterward, I thought that maybe it would be easier for you if I just didn't talk to you. Maybe you would get over me sooner. But, then, I saw your face the other day when Katelyn kissed me out on the lawn and I felt terrible. I know I made the wrong choice, but I just wasn't sure what to do."

"Whatever happened to being honest with me? Why couldn't you just tell me you didn't have the same feelings for me? If you didn't have the same feelings for me, I could probably have dealt with it somehow. Sure, it would have been slightly awkward and painful at first, but I would have gotten over it eventually. The worst part of that whole thing was losing you as my best friend." To my dismay, those tears that he didn't deserve began to fall from my eyes once again.

"I just didn't want to hurt you."

"And you thought ignoring me wouldn't hurt me? You have a lot to learn."

"Look, Taylor, how many times do I have to say I'm sorry?" I could tell he was getting frustrated now.

"As many times as it takes for you to mean it and me to believe it."

His phone started to go off in his pocket, but he ignored it and just stared at me. "Of course I mean it. Why would I say it if I didn't mean it?"

"I'm not going to believe you mean it until you prove it."

"And how do you want me to do that?"

I shrugged. "Figure it out. You were my best friend for most of my life. You should know me pretty well by now."

"Well how about we start out by just hanging out and catching up for a little bit?"

"I don't think I can do that. I can't just act like everything is peachy and nothing happened, Alex. I just can't. I won't ignore it. As much as I hate to admit this, I don't think our friendship can ever be like it was before."

His phone rang in his pocket again. "God fucking damn it!" he screamed as he silenced it again. He didn't want to interrupt our discussion, if you could call it that. "Don't you think it's at least worth a try?"

"To be honest, I'm not sure anymore. Two months ago, I would have jumped at this opportunity, but then you changed."

"What do you mean I changed?" he asked with a slight hint of anger in his tone.

"You don't even realize how she's changing you," I replied.

"Oh don't you dare blame this on Katelyn! Everything is my fault. I was the one that left you and ignored you, not her."

"Will you just listen to me for one second? Jack tells me how he never sees you anymore because you are with her. You schedule all your band practices around her and what she wants. You have made this girl the center of your universe and practically given up everything else that's important to you. In fact, I hope she hurts you just as bad as you hurt me. Maybe then you will learn to appreciate what you have and not take anything for granted."

His phone rang again. "Pick up your damn phone, Alex," I said as I finally yanked free of his grasp and headed toward the stairs.

"Hello," he said huffily as he answered his phone when I walked away. "Mom, is that you? Mom, what's wrong? Why are you crying? I can't understand a word you're saying." In a matter of seconds, his tone went from irritation to concern. I stopped and turned back to look at him. His eyebrows were crinkled together in worry.

His mother said something to him and he dropped his phone to the floor in shock. I heard Melanie crying and screaming on the phone, but then it went dead. He stood there and stared at me at a loss for words.

"Alex, what is it? What's wrong?" I asked worriedly. I walked back to his side. His lips quivered and he couldn't seem to find the right words. "Tell me!" I pleaded.

"T-that was my mother," he said quietly. "S-she said that Eric was found d-d-dead in his apartment tonight." As his mouth formed the words, his knees started to buckle and I caught him as we fell to the ground together. When he said those words, all the anger between us melted away. The most important thing now was holding on to what we had. He began to sob and shake uncontrollably in my arms. "He's m-my b-brother!" he wailed. "I l-love him! H-how could this h-happen?"

How, indeed?

**Chapter 13: Unhappy Thanksgiving**

_Alex's P.O.V._

Death of a family member or loved one is probably one of the hardest things a person will ever have to go through. The pain eats you alive inside. The worst part is knowing that there's absolutely nothing you can do to bring that person back. You will never be able to hug or kiss or tell that person how much you love them one more time. You can't take back mistakes you made or terrible things you said. It's just over.

That pain you feel, it's raw, it burns, it tears you in half. It's indescribable. The worst part is it never goes away. You just have to find a way to endure it so that it doesn't conquer you in the end.

Apparently, it was suicide. His best friend had left something in his apartment the night before and had a key, so he let himself in. He found Eric hanging from the shower curtain in the bathroom. By the time the paramedics arrived, it was already too late.

At first, I refused to believe my brother would do something like this to himself. He was always happy, always smiling. There was no way in hell he would want to end his own life. He was still alive. He had to be. Thoughts like these calmed me down. Of course he was alive. How could he be dead? All of this was just a cruel prank my family was trying to play on me. There would be a simple way to set everything straight.

While still wrapped up in Taylor's arms, I took out my cell phone and called Eric's number.

"Hey, this is Eric. I'm not here right now, so leave a message and maybe I'll get back to you, maybe not," came his husky voice from the other end. It was reassuring to hear his voice.

"Hey, Eric, it's Alex. Look, I don't know what the hell is going on, but I need you to call me back as soon as possible. I need to know that you are ok."

When I hung up the phone, I saw that Taylor was looking at me with soft, tear-filled eyes. "Alex..." she said slowly, carefully. "Eric is gone. He's not going to call you back."

"What are you talking about? Of course he is! He's my brother. Why wouldn't he call me back?"

"A-Alex, he's d-dead. He can't call you back," she said through her tears.

"No, he's not! How can you even say that? Eric is at home in his apartment! He probably just didn't hear his phone over the TV or something."

She shook her head sadly. "I wish that were true, but we both know it's not."

"No, Taylor, he's not fucking dead!" I screamed. I could feel the heat rise in my face. "He can't be."

Without saying another word, she buried me deeper into her arms. Oh, how much I had missed this over the past few months. However, I could not let myself believe that the worst has happened. If I did, it would have broken me.

We sat there quietly for a few minutes, each thinking about Eric. I remembered the last time I saw him. I talked all about myself and didn't bother asking him how he was doing, not once. What a selfish bastard I was. The next time I saw him, I would make sure to say I was sorry.

When we were little, our parents would take all three of us to school and then pick us up again in the afternoon. During recess, Eric would go off and play with some of his soccer friends, but, if he saw that anyone was giving Taylor or me any trouble, he would come over and set that kid straight. He never cared if he would get in trouble for it later. Even then, everyone knew not to mess with Eric Gaskarth. He was the one who taught me about girls, parties, and just life in general. Anything could happen to me and I knew that I would be ok because I had him, my big brother. I could always count on him. He was my rock; he never moved from my side.

"Remember that one time when we went on vacation in California when we were like fourteen and we were stuck in the hotel room while our parents were out drinking?" asked Taylor, breaking the silence.

"Yeah we were so bored that Eric decided to take the keys to the rental car and drive us around L.A," I responded. "We were in the biggest trouble of our lives afterward, but it was all worth it because it was so much fun. We got to see everything in the city."

"That's what I always loved about him. He was always so spontaneous and he never gave a damn about the consequences. I was constantly worried about what would happen to us afterward, but not him. He always knew how to live in the moment."

"Yeah and he was so funny whenever he got drunk. He used to get us in trouble when we would come home drunk because he was so damn loud. He used to say that it was worth it to get in trouble in the morning if we were going to have a lot of fun that night. He was always the loudest and craziest at parties."

"Yeah," she agreed. "He could be anything we asked him to be. When we needed him to be our older brother, he was there protecting us and giving us great advice. When we needed him to be the fun best friend, he would get as crazy as possible. Sometimes, he was even a little scary. We used to have to wrestle his keys out of his hands if he wanted to drive while he was drunk. The main point is that he was never selfish; he always put others before himself and he taught us some great lessons."

"Of course he did." Then, I realized what I was saying and caught myself. "Wait, why are we talking about him in the past tense? He's still the same old guy. He hasn't ever changed one bit."

"Alex, will you stop making this harder than it already is? God damn it! He's dead. We just have to accept it."

"Fuck, Taylor! He's my brother! He can't be dead! I will never accept that he's dead. I don't know myself without him."

"There has never been a time that I wished I was wrong more than this one, but it's true. He's dead and we can't change that no matter how much we might want to."

"But, I don't want to live in a world where he doesn't exist."

"Neither do I," she said quietly in my ear.

This time, it was her phone that went off.

"Hello?" she said into the phone. She listened to what the person on the other line was saying for a few minutes and then said, "Ok, we'll be there as soon as we can," and hung up the phone. "We have to go," she said to me. "That was my mom. She said that our parents are at the hospital with Eric. We have to go to say goodbye."

"But, I don't want to say goodbye. He's not going anywhere, so why should I say goodbye?"

"Alex, please just come with me. I know you will regret this later if you don't and I can't leave you here by yourself right now. If you won't come for me, do it for your family. Your parents need you."

I nodded. If they believed the lie, I would have to comfort them and tell them how it couldn't possibly be true. I got up from her lap and got my stuff together and followed her upstairs and out the front door. Neither of us was in any condition to drive, but she did anyway because I think she knew that we might not end up at the hospital if I was the driver. In fact, we probably wouldn't have gone anywhere at all.

The whole car ride was again filled with silence. In what seemed like no time at all, we parked and walked into the hospital.

"Can you please tell me what floor and room Eric Gaskarth is in?" Taylor asked the receptionist.

She typed something into the computer and then responded, "Fourth floor room 412."

Taylor said a quick thank you and we ran to the elevator. When we got there, we saw my dad and both of Taylor's parents sitting in front of his room with red, tear-stained faces. Jack was there too. He sat there with his head between his legs. He looked up when we heard us approaching and got up to give me a hug, but I backed away.

"What are you all doing here?" I asked.

"Alex, what are you talking about?" Jack asked confused. "Your brother just died."

"No he didn't! Why can't you guys just realize that he's playing a joke on all of us? He does this kind of stuff all the time!"

When I said this, my father got up and stood directly in front of me so that I couldn't see anyone else but him.

"Alex, S-son, I th-think you know that's n-not t-true. He's g-gone. Our Eric is g-gone." He broke down and began to sob uncontrollably. He tried to take me in his arms, but I fought in his arms. No matter how hard I hit, he didn't let go.

"No, Dad, no! He can't be gone! He can't be!" I screamed.

The next moment, I saw my mother come out from his room, the pain written all over her face. Her face was red and black makeup was running down her cheeks. When she made it out of the room, she was crying so hard that she could not seem to stand up anymore, so she clutched to a chair before she could fall to the floor.

"I want to see him," I said quietly and firmly to my father.

"I don't think that's such a good idea," my father disagreed.

"God damn it, Dad! I want to see my brother," I screamed, finally pushing off my father. I ran over to the door and pushed it open, Taylor and Jack right behind me.

There he was lying in that bed. He didn't look like Eric Gaskarth anymore. His pale skin was whiter than I had ever seen it. I saw the red marks around his neck where the rope had been. He almost looked like he was sleeping. His face was blank, expressionless. Even I could tell there was no life left in him. I walked over to the bed and lifted up his hand. I had never touched anything so cold. I lifted it up to my lips and kissed it and then let it go. It just flopped right back down. In one night, my brother had gone from being a warm, healthy, happy body to a cold, hard corpse. This would be my last memory of him. I couldn't deny it anymore; he really was dead.

My legs felt like jello and I could no longer stand up. Taylor and Jack let me fall into their arms on the floor. "Oh God no!" The tears began rushing out of my eyes again. I heard horrible, painful screaming and it took me a little while to realize the noise was coming from my own mouth. I began to shake and heave and gasp for breath. I was having a breakdown, but somehow that didn't matter to me. Nothing mattered anymore, not without Eric. I no longer cared what happened to me.

Jack carefully removed me from his grasp a few minutes later and left the room in a hurry. Soon, he returned accompanied by a nurse with a needle in her hand. I screamed and thrashed as Taylor and Jack held me down and the nurse stuck the sedative in my arm.

It seemed like hours later when I finally woke up. Now, I was lying in my own hospital bed. Taylor was sleeping in the chair in the corner. I don't know how she could have managed sleep at a time like this, but she did. I got up out of bed. My legs wobbled a bit. I guess I must have been a little bit weak from the sedative. I walked out to the hallway and saw that my whole family was there, but no one seemed to notice that I had woken up. I walked back to Eric's room. I had to see him again; I had to say goodbye.

"Hey, big brother," I said shakily as I sat down in the chair beside his bed. I took hold of his cold hand again. It took awhile for me to find the right words to say. How do you find the right way to say goodbye to your dead brother? Is there a right way?

"I don't really know how to say this to you," I admitted. "Never in my life would I have dreamed that I would have to say goodbye to you. I never thought I would have to survive my life without you. I guess maybe I thought you were immortal. Everybody else was capable of dying, but not my brother Eric. I never thought I would have to live a day where you weren't there. I'm so s-sorry for taking you for granted." I paused to wipe the tears flowing from my eyes.

"I know that it's probably my fault that you did this to yourself," I continued, crying even harder. "I should have asked how you were doing, I should have called you more, I shouldn't have talked about myself so much. You were probably suffering and I wasn't listening. I was so selfish and you were always so much better than me. If I could take it all back, I would."

"I never thought you were capable of doing something like this to yourself. Whenever I saw you, you were always happy. Maybe I just didn't know my own brother well enough. A part of me can't help but wonder why you would go to such extreme measures though. Did the thought ever cross your mind that you would hurt everyone you said you loved?" All of a sudden, I was angry.

"How could you do this to us, Eric? How could you h-hurt us like this? Even if you didn't f-feel like you could c-come to me with your p-problems, you could have gone to Taylor Mom or Dad or Jack or Holly or one of your f-friends. Why the f-fuck did you have to g-give up on l-life? Damn it, Eric! I will n-n-never f-forgive you for this." At this point, I had to stop talking because I was crying so hard.

"Anyway," I said after I calmed myself down a little bit, "I just wanted to say that there will never be a day that goes by that I won't miss you. You'll always be my brother and I love you. I don't know what I would have done without you all this time and I have no idea what I'm going to do without you in the future. I hope you are in a better place now than you were on earth. You'll always be in my heart and I'll always miss you." I gave his hand one last kiss and walked out. I couldn't be in that room with my dead brother anymore. It was making me claustrophobic; my whole world was closing in around me.

When I walked out of the room, I saw Taylor standing there waiting for me. Without saying a word, she took my arm and led me back to my room and helped me get into bed.

"Hey, Taylor?" I said. She looked over with a question in her eyes. I patted the bed next to me and she crawled in next to me. "Thanks for being there for me tonight. I really needed you."

"He was my brother too," she said simply and she was right. She put her head on my chest and began to close her eyes. I felt her chest move up and down as she breathed.

"It's pretty ironic, isn't it?" I said as I played with her long blond hair.

"What is?"

"Today is Thanksgiving. How am I supposed to be grateful for anything if my brother is dead?"

"I don't know," she quietly responded. "The world seems like a pretty cruel place right now."

There was silence as we both thought about the terrible things that had happened that night.

"Maybe..." she said after a little while. "Maybe we should be thankful for ever having the chance to get to know him and love him. Maybe we should be grateful that he was even in our lives in the first place." After she said that, she fell asleep again in my arms. Sleep was out of the question for me. For the rest of the night, I laid there and stared at her, careful to keep all thoughts out of my head.

Later, the rest of the world would find out about what happened to Eric. My life would never be the same again.

**Chapter 14: Lullabies**

_Alex's P.O.V._

The next few days went by in a blur. The soccer game was cancelled after everyone found out what happened. A lot of our friends and family came to our house for comfort or just to remember Eric. I don't remember much besides people constantly coming up to me and telling me how sorry they were for my loss. That's great, but it's not going to bring my brother back. To be honest, I tried to block it all out.

My father later told me that a suicide note was found in his bedroom. It had said that he loved all of us and none of this was any of our faults. Next to it was a letter from the head of the athletics department at the University of Maryland. The letter stated that they had found out that Eric failed a class and his GPA fell below the minimum needed to be on the soccer team. When I visited his apartment later, I saw that only his clothes were in the closet; it appeared that Holly had left my brother. All of his dreams were shattered, so he just gave up.

Barbara had to take over planning for the funeral because my mother just couldn't do it. In fact, she rarely came out of bed anymore even if we had company and she never bothered to shower or get dressed. She refused to let anyone see her, not even me. Everything reminded her of him. I hated seeing her in so much pain; how was I supposed to help her if I couldn't even help myself? It was like she had stopped living, even though she was still physically breathing.

Of course Taylor was with me the whole way. She never left, not even when Katelyn came over to see how I was doing. At night we would crawl into my bed and she would fall asleep in my arms. Most of the times, I would just lay there and watch her sleep. I guess I should mention that I have taken up the habit of becoming an insomniac. There were times when I purposely tried not to sleep because I knew I would have nightmares about Eric and there were times when I just couldn't sleep at all.

Sometimes, I would just lay awake in bed and stare distantly into space, not thinking about anything and numb to the world. Other times, I just could not get Eric off my mind no matter what. On such times, I would go sit by my desk with a dim light on and just write in my notebook. It would make me feel better, yet emptier at the same time.

According to Jack, they had set up a tiny memorial for Eric at our high school. A lot of kids there still knew him, or at least knew of him. His picture had been hanging outside the athletic office ever since he graduated a few years back and everyone had heard stories of what an amazing player he was. Local magazines wrote articles about him and how he was going to make it to the big time. In fact, once they found out what happened, reporters came to my house and waited on my front lawn. He was a star even in death.

The funeral was scheduled to take place on the Saturday after his death. He was going to be buried at a cemetery right near the soccer field at the University of Maryland because we knew that's what he would have wanted. The public memorial service would be held at a church right near campus in the morning.

My alarm went off at 8:30 and Taylor and I got up and got ready for the second worst day of our lives. I wore a black suit and tie and she wore a black dress that went to her knees with stockings underneath along with sunglasses to go over her red bloodshot eyes. The hearse arrived to pick all six of us up at 9:15 and we rode off to the church. The memorial service would start at 10:00.

When we got there, we found Jack standing by the sidewalk waiting. He gave each of us a hug as we got out of the hearse. I could always depend on Jack to be there.

Taylor and I had put our heads together and decided to make a collage of pictures of Eric and everything that was important to him, so we set that up on an easel that people would be able to see when they walked in. The church printed up programs for the ceremony, so we laid them out on tables in front, along with awards and metals that Eric had won over the years. My parents set up two big pictures of Eric, one on each side of where the coffin would go.

Around 9:30, people came piling in. Most of my family and friends were there and a whole bunch of people I didn't know. The whole soccer team came dressed in uniform in honour of Eric. By the time the doors were closed and the service was about to start, there were around five hundred people packed into one church. As I said before, everybody knew him and everybody loved him.

Ten minutes before it started, I walked to a room in the back of the church where the coffin was along with my father, Jack, and many of Eric's close friends. We would be the pallbearers. Once everyone finally settled down and we heard the organ music start to play, we picked up the coffin and began our walk down the aisle. My father and I were at the front, Jack was behind me, and everyone else was behind him. As I walked, I could feel every single eye in the room on me. The only thing that could be heard besides the music was the scuffle of our feet against the ground or the random sniffles coming from the audience. The walk down that aisle was the longest of my life.

Finally, we reached the end and carefully put the coffin down in its right place. My dad and I sat down in the front pew next to Taylor and the rest of our family while Jack and the other guys sat directly behind us.

The reverend began the service by reading passages from the bible about death and the soul travelling up to heaven. As he read through each passage, I wondered if what he was saying would actually happen to Eric. Would his soul really be looking down upon us?

Next came the eulogies. I spent a lot of time last night writing mine and I still was not quite satisfied with it. I wanted my brother to be remembered in the right way and I was nervous that this wasn't enough. There were about five of us who decided to give eulogies: my father, Taylor, Holly, Eric's best friend Jason, and me. My mother decided against saying anything because she knew she wouldn't be able to get a word out of her mouth without breaking down completely. My father was the first to speak.

"How do I find the right words to describe my son?" he asked the audience. "I could use the words amazing, wonderful, caring, athletic, friendly and that's barely scratching the surface. Honestly, before we had him, I wasn't sure that I was ready to be a father. Then, he was born and my whole life changed. I took one look at his little face and realized that there was nothing in the world I loved more. He turned out to be the best son any father could ever ask for. He had great grades for the most part and a sure future in professional soccer. People used to approach my wife and me and ask if we happened to be the parents of the great Eric Gaskarth and we were happy to say that we were. He gave us a great opportunity to show off." The sound of quiet laughter scattered throughout the room. "Eric could get along with anyone. If there was any kind of drama going on between his friends, he would always be the peacekeeper. There was no one he wasn't friends with. Each day, he would bring home a different person. One day, it would be an athlete, the next it would be a gothic, and the day after that, it would be a prep. I could never keep all those different people straight." He paused as the audience laughed through their tears again. "He could always be counted on to be the voice of reason, no matter what the situation. I will never forget the first time we went camping together. He was about fourteen years old then and had been begging me to take him for years before then. He knew what he wanted and he never gave up. We got there and found our spot. I decided to start the fire right away because we were both starving. By the time I was done, he had already pitched the tent. Here was a kid who had never gone camping before in his life, he had never even come in contact with a tent and yet he pitched it like he was an old pro. Then, that night, we were eating by the fire and this big brown bear came very close to our tent. There I was about to have a heart attack, but then I looked over at him and he was completely calm. The bear took a step closer and Eric didn't even blink. He sat there perfectly still and waited for the bear to move away. Once the bear was gone, he continued talking as if nothing had happened. This kid was only fourteen years-old and he was already more of an adult than I was. I was so proud of him for handling these complicated and dangerous situations with such poise. He was one of the most incredible people I have ever known and I am so lucky to call him my son. I am so grateful to have even had the opportunity to have him and love him as my son. I'm not sure my wife and I will ever get past this, but I know that Eric would want us to try. He would not want us dwelling on the past and the 'what if's'; he always lived for the future. He used to say, 'the past is the past, so don't make it last.' He would want us all to remember him for his free spirit and caring heart. We may move on, but we will never forget." My dad wiped the tears out of his eyes and returned to his seat next to my mother.

Next, Taylor walked up to the podium with Jack at her side for moral support. Her face was wet with fallen tears, but she cleared her throat and spoke clearly into the microphone. "Eric might not have been my brother biologically, but he was my brother in every way that counted. He has been there for me ever since I moved to Maryland when I was two years-old. Our families spent so much time together that we just became one big family. He even sometimes introduced me to people as his little sister. No matter what time it was, I knew I could always call him if I needed him. I called him a few times crying and each time, he would drop everything to come see me and make sure I was ok. He was never grouchy or mad at me and he was always there to listen. I knew I could tell him anything and he wouldn't judge me or tell my parents if I did something bad. He never missed a concert of mine and, in return, I never missed a game of his. Afterward, he would always take Alex and me out for dinner or to a party. I always used to say that, if it wasn't for Eric, I would be a social outcast. I used to be extremely shy, but Eric would just throw that aside and introduce me to everyone he could find; he was probably the most outgoing person I knew. Just looking at the amount of people here today shows how many friends he had and how many people he touched. He never let me sit around; I was always included in the action whether I wanted to be or not. He pretty much forced me to have fun. If anyone ever hurt me in any way, they would have him to answer to. One time, Eric, Alex, and I were all walking in the mall because we were bored and Eric heard a salesperson make a rude comment about me because I wouldn't stop to try his sampler for a hair product. Eric literally turned around and said, 'she won't try your product because she already has perfect hair and you are an asshole. If I hear you say a comment like that again, I will have you fired for sexual harassment of a client.' After that, the guy backed off and never bothered me again. Even he knew better than to test Eric. When I suffered from my first heartbreak, Alex and I literally had to hold him back and talk him out of going to the guy's house to tell him off or even beat him up. I was always jealous of the fact that he lived in the moment. I was always that girl who was scared of the consequences, but Eric had such a free spirit that it was infectious. We did a lot of crazy things in our time, but, I have to admit that there was never a moment where I felt unsafe or regretted what I did. I knew Eric would never let anything bad happen to me. After all, he was my big brother and he was protecting his little sister from the evils of the world. Eric, I want you to know that I will always, always love you and I promise to never forget you. You'll always be in my heart and I hope you are up there in heaven somewhere playing soccer with the greats." She walked over to the coffin, kissed her hand, and then rubbed it on top of the wood. "I'll always keep you with me," she said loud enough for everyone to hear. Jack walked her back to her seat next to me.

After that, it was Holly's turn. I studied her as she walked up to the microphone. Her skin was pale white, her face was sunken, her eyes were red and bloodshot, and her usually wavy chestnut hair hung lifelessly below her shoulders. She wore no makeup, made no effort to make herself look pretty for this occasion; it seemed like she didn't care about anything anymore. She had become completely apathetic, shut-down, numb. She was heartbreak in the flesh.

I felt like a part of me should have been angry with her; part of the reason why my brother killed himself was probably because she had moved out. She left him and he didn't want to live without her. Somehow, the only emotion I felt for her was sorry. Thinking back on all the times I have seen them together, I could not deny the fact that she loved him. Even now, I know that she would have never purposely done anything to hurt him.

"E-Eric was the love of my life," she started off shakily. "We have been together for almost two and a half years. I would say that we had the kind of fairytale romance that most girls dream about. We met the first day of our freshman year in college because we just so happened to be in the same orientation group. Of course he already made a bunch of friends because he was so outgoing and also knew some people from high school. On the other hand, since I was from New Jersey, I didn't know anyone. He saw me sitting there alone and immediately came over to introduce himself. We hit it off right away; something between us just clicked. After that, we hung out almost every day. He asked me to dinner at a nice restaurant a week later. When we were at the restaurant about to eat dinner, he asked me to be his girlfriend. We have been together ever since. I can honestly say that was one of the happiest times in my life. I had never been with anyone like Eric before. I could tell that he was someone who really cared about me and I knew that this relationship had a great chance of lasting. I just wish it could have lasted forever. He always treated me with the utmost respect and he put me before anything else; it was nice to know that I mattered so much to him that I always came first. It made me love him more than I thought I could ever love anyone else. Our friends would watch how we interacted together and then tell me later how lucky I was to have found such a great guy. They were right; I was the luckiest girl in the world. We had been dating for about six months when we finally decided that it was time to meet the family. When it was time for me to meet his family, I was so nervous that I practically made myself throw up. He was the most important person in my life, so I had to make a good impression on them. As soon as I met his family, I could tell right away where he had gotten his will-power from. Everyone in that family is so extremely driven and would do anything they could to make their dreams come true. That was what I admired most about Eric; he knew what he wanted and he wasn't about to let anything get in his way, not even me. Luckily, his family welcomed me with open arms. That next summer was horrible because I had to go back to New Jersey while he stayed here in Maryland. We had to go weeks without seeing each other, but somehow, we made it through by talking on the phone each night before bed. He would come up and spend some weekends with me and I would go down and spend some time with him, but it was nowhere near what we were used to. Eventually, we got sick of having to go through the same cycle each summer. On the first day back to school this year in late August, he took me out to dinner at the same restaurant that he asked me out at, but, this time he asked me to move in with him. I'll never forget what he said; ''I don't want to live another day without you by my side.' I never thought he would mean that in the literal sense. Sure, Eric and I had our differences, but, in the end, we were inseparable. I never dreamed of experiencing a love as intense as the love I had for Eric. He was everything to me, my knight in shining armour. I realize now that there may have been times where I took him for granted and I will regret those times for the rest of my life. I know that there will never be anyone else like Eric, but I'm glad that I got the chance to fall in love with him in the first place. No one will ever take his place or fill that void in my heart. I know that I will love him until the day that I die." With that, she walked dejectedly back to her seat.

Taylor grabbed my hand and walked by my side up to the podium. Now, it was my turn. I took a deep breath and spoke as clearly as I could. This was going to be hard.

"What can I say about my brother that everyone else hasn't already said?" I asked the audience. "I spent all last night trying to figure out what to say today. Nothing I say to you today will probably even come close to describe the amazing person Eric Gaskarth was, but I decided that I would at least try. I owe that much to him. He would have been so grateful to see all of you here; he loved all of his friends and family so much. He was the kind of man that I will always aspire to be: brave, strong, kind, selfless, funny, loving, and so much more. I always looked up to him as my role model; he was my hero and my best friend. I was always jealous of his lifestyle; he had found a girl that he was completely in love with, he had this unbelievable talent in soccer, and he was in college on a full scholarship. Who wouldn't want that kind of life? He taught me how to live my life to the fullest and just have fun. Screw the consequences. I probably shouldn't be saying this here, but I remember when he took me to my very first party. He was two and a half years older than me, so he already knew where to go for all the good parties in high school. I was so nervous because I had no idea what to expect, but he completely disregarded that and just threw me right into the swing of things. That night, I drank so much that it's a miracle I didn't end up in the hospital, but he was there beside me every step of the way making sure I was ok and didn't do anything stupid. He kept one hand on my back as I threw up repeatedly and, when it was time for us to go home, he practically carried me to the car and then put me to bed when we got there. In the morning, he gave me a special hangover concoction that tasted terrible and told me that he was glad this happened to me. He said that, if I was going to party, I had to learn to do it the right way. He was one of the only people who supported me no matter what. I was always making mistakes and he always managed to find a way to help me fix it or make it better somehow. There have been times when I stayed out too late or did something stupid and he always covered for me no matter what. He knew me better than anyone else; I never hid anything from him and he could always tell when I was lying to him. He would have done anything for me and I would have done anything for him. When I suffered from my first heartbreak, he let me take my anger out on him and, after that, he did everything he could to help distract me. I'll never forget this one day last summer when Taylor and I were just sitting on the porch swing outside and talking. All of a sudden, we both felt cold water on our backs. When we turned around, we saw Eric holding this gigantic water gun that he had just bought at the store. We ran into the garage and brought out our old water guns and got into a huge water fight until dark. By the time we were done, we were completely soaked with no bathing suits on, but we didn't care. We were together having fun and that's the only thing that mattered. That's part of the reason why everyone loved Eric so much; he was so spontaneous that he would do anything at any time of the day. Some may have dared to call him wild, but everyone wished they could be like him. He was always the life of the party. He was truly one in a million. The way I feel right now is unexplainable; I just lost one of the most important people in my life. This is worse than any kind of pain I have ever experienced before, but I know with every fiber of my being that he loved everyone close to him with all of his heart and, somehow, that comforts me. When he died, he took a part of me with him. Never again will I be able to get into those big water fights with my brother, go to parties with him, call him up randomly when I need his advice, or just have fun with him. Now, every time I go to sleep, I see his dead body laying there in that hospital bed and I can't get that image out of my head. A few nights ago, after I woke up from that very nightmare, I wrote a song about Eric that I would like to play for you now."

I walked over to the corner on the side and picked up the acoustic guitar that people from the church left for me and walked over to a chair set up right next to a microphone. Taylor walked back to her seat to watch me sing. She had been standing beside me with a comforting hand on my back throughout the whole time I was speaking. "The song is called 'Lullabies'," I said into the microphone and began to sing.

"_Make it a sweet, sweet goodbye -  
it could be for the last time and it's not right.  
"Don't let yourself get in over your head," he said.  
Alone and far from home I'll find you..._

Dead - Like a candle you burned out;  
spill the wax over the spaces left in place of angry words.  
Scream - To be heard, like you needed any more attention;  
throw the bottle, break the door, and disappear.

Sing me to sleep, I'll see you in my dreams,  
waiting to say, "I miss you. I'm so sorry."

Forever's never seemed so long as when you're not around  
it's like a piece of me is missing.  
I could have learned so much from you but what's left now?  
Don't you realize you shot this family a world of pain?  
Can't you see there should have been a happy ending we let go?

Sing me to sleep, I'll see you in my dreams,  
waiting to say, "I miss you. I'm so sorry."

Sing me to sleep.  
Sing me to sleep.  
Sing me to sleep.  
Sing me to sleep

Sing me to sleep (You've taken so much with you...)  
I'll see you in my dreams, (But left the worst with me...),  
waiting to say, "I miss you. I'm so sorry."  
I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

I couldn't control the water spilling from my eyes as I finished out the songs. I would never be able to tell him just how sorry I really was. 

**Chapter 15: I Do Believe In Fairies**

_Alex's P.O.V._

After the funeral, some of our family and friends came back to our house for food and beverages. For the most part, they just stood around talking about Eric and some funny memories they had of him. It was nice to know that so many people remembered my brother in such a positive way. He had so many friends that I know he won't soon be forgotten.

As I was talking to some of his other friends, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Holly standing alone in a corner with a beer in her hand. Half the bottle was already empty and we had only just gotten back home. I decided that I should go over and talk to her. There were a few questions I had for her anyway.

"Hey," I said, giving her an awkward one-armed hug since I was also holding a drink in my hand.

"Hey yourself," she said quietly. "Where's Taylor? I'm not used to seeing you without her."

"She's helping her mom set up the food since my mom can't. The only thing she does any more is lay in her bed. Everything reminds her of him. Anyway, how have you been?"

She laughed bitterly. "How do you think I've been?" she asked.

"Yeah I guess that was a pretty stupid question. Can I ask you something?"

"Shoot."

"Don't take this the wrong way, but why did you leave my brother if you claim to have loved him so much?"

"I was being stupid. I'll never stop regretting what I said to him the last night I saw him."

"What happened?"

"I had a really stressful day at school. I found out that I failed one of my midterms, which pretty much means that I failed the class because I failed other things in that class too. When I came back to the apartment that night, everything was a mess and Eric was sitting there on the couch watching football and not making any effort to help clean it up. I blew up in his face about it and said that I couldn't live like this anymore and that, if he wasn't going to help me around the house, then maybe we shouldn't be together. It was the stupidest reason to break up with someone, but, at that point, I wasn't thinking clearly. I threw all my clothes in a suitcase and stormed out. All throughout the next day, I couldn't get our fight off my mind. I decided I was going to go over and apologize to Eric the first chance I got. The problem was that I would not be able to make it back home until after 10:00PM because I had a night class that night. I got the call from your mom when I was in the car on the way home to our apartment. I n-never m-meant for any of this to h-happen." She finally broke down and I took her into my arms as she cried.

"I know you didn't," I whispered in her ear.

"I should have known what was going on with him though," she responded once she calmed down a little. "I was living with him, yet I didn't even know that he was having trouble in some of his classes. As his girlfriend, that is something I should have known."

"There is no way you could have known if he didn't come and talk to you about it unless you went through all of his stuff, which would not have been fair."

"But, then why didn't he feel like he could come to me?" she wondered. "We had been together for a long time and we were living together. I thought he felt like he could tell me anything."

"Maybe he just didn't want to worry you. He didn't tell me either and I'm his brother. He probably thought he could get through it on his own. He never really liked having to ask for help. His ego was too big."

"I just wish I would have known. Maybe if I hadn't been such a bitch to him that night and maybe if I had stayed, none of this would have happened."

"You can't think like that. It already happened and now we just have to accept it. I know that you would have never done that if you knew that it would lead to this. He knew that you loved him and that's all that matters."

"But he also knew that I was angry with him. When I was yelling at him and saying all these horrible things about him, he wasn't even fighting back. He wasn't even making an effort to defend himself. In fact, he wasn't saying anything, which is what made me even angrier. He just stood there and accepted it without a word, almost as if he felt that he deserved it. How I could have let him think that is beyond me. I don't think he was aware of just how wonderful he was."

"Holly, everyone has a bad day and takes it out on another person. It's just a part of life. You can't blame yourself for this. Eric never showed any signs of being depressed, so how would you have known what he was planning to do? He never let anybody see when he was upset, not even you or me. That's just how he was."

"I just wish it was different," she responded helplessly.

"I think we all do."

Other people started coming up to each of us, so we got distracted. I talked to friends and relatives for the next hour or so. It wasn't until later that Katelyn had come to find me. She went to the funeral and was there every step of the way with me. When I told her about Eric, she came over to my house and stayed with me for as long as I needed her to. I couldn't have asked for anything better.

"How are you doing?" she asked as she came over and gave me a short kiss on the lips.  
"I'm hanging in," I responded. "At this point, I'm just trying to do the best I can to keep it together."

"I can't even imagine what this must be like for you. I hope you know that I'm here whenever you need me. Just say the word and I'll do anything."

"The only thing I really want to do right now is just crawl under my covers and never come out again, but I know that's not possible at the moment. You have no idea how much it has helps me to know that you are here for me, so thank you."

"Of course, Baby," she said smiling at me. "I would expect you to do the same thing for me. By the way, your song sounded amazing. I can't wait to come to one of your shows and hear you sing a full set."

"Thanks. I wrote it when I couldn't sleep the other night."

"Why couldn't you sleep?"

"I was just thinking about things. I haven't been able to sleep a full night ever since it happened."

She gave me a concerned look. "That's not good. You need your sleep."

"I'm sure it will pass soon," I shrugged.

"You could have called me. I hope you know that."

"Of course I do. I just didn't want to wake you up or worry you with my problems."

""Alex, I want to know what's going on with you. You're my boyfriend and I love you."

"Yeah, I know that and I love you too and I appreciate you being so concerned, but I'm really fine."

I noticed that Taylor was standing about ten feet in front of me talking to my grandparents. When I said, "I love you too" to Katelyn, she turned around as if someone had called her name. She studied my face for a second with this odd look in her eyes. It was almost like, after spending these last few days with me, she was surprised to know that I still loved Katelyn. Then, she turned back around and continued her conversation as if nothing had happened.

"I hope so," said Katelyn. "I don't know what I would do if anything happened to you." She put her right hand on my left cheek and rubbed it looking me straight in the eyes the whole time.

Her phone must have been vibrating in her pocket because she took it out and looked at it.

"Oh shoot," she said. "I have to go home. My mom is sick so she needs me to make dinner and take care of her. She gets mad if I'm late. I'm so sorry, Alex."

I shook my head. "No, no it's fine, I understand. Go take care of your mom and call me later." She gave me a kiss goodbye and I watched as she walked out my front door.

It took a long time for everyone to leave, but they finally cleared out around 8:00 that night. Of course, Taylor and the Swifts stayed behind to help my dad and I clean up after all the guests.

"That went pretty well considering," said Taylor as we walked around my living room picking up trash.

"Yeah, I guess so," I responded. "Everything went as it was supposed to at least. I'm just glad to have gotten it over with to be completely honest."

"I know what you mean. Now we don't have to worry about planning anything or putting on a show for anyone. We can just try to get on with our lives somehow."

"Speaking of which, can I talk to you about something?"

"Sure thing."

"I know you saw me with Katelyn today."

When I said this, she dropped what she was doing and gave me her full attention.

"I did," she said.

"Listen Taylor, I don't want my feelings for her to get between us again, but I really have strong feelings for her and I don't think that's going to change any time soon."

"I realize that. You already know that I don't really like Katelyn, but my feelings for you or dislike for her isn't worth losing a friendship over." She paused for a second and then looked me directly in the eye. "Look, Alex, I'm not going to make you choose between me and her, if that's what you are hinting at. I wouldn't do that to you."

"Thank you." I breathed a sigh of relief. "These past few months have made me realize that you are too important for me to lose, but Katelyn has become important to me too and I guess I don't want to risk losing either one of you."

She nodded and was about to turn her attention back to picking up trash, but I gently grabbed her arm and turned her back around.

"One more thing," I said. "I know I've already said this, but I am so sorry for the heartbreak I've caused you. I hope you know that I never meant to hurt you. When you kissed me so suddenly, it really freaked me out and I didn't know how to deal with it, so I ran. There hasn't been a night since then that I don't wish I had handled it in some other way."

She looked at me for a moment and then answered, "On the night that Eric died, I told you that I hoped she hurt you just as bad as you hurt me because maybe then it would teach you to appreciate what you have. I never dreamed that those words would come back to bite me. When Eric died, our whole world turned upside-down. Even though this experience has been the worst thing I have ever been through, it taught me that I shouldn't live my life being angry with people. No one ever knows when life is going to end, so I don't want to live my life holding a grudge. These past few months have been the worst and I feel like have been stuck in a giant rut that I couldn't get out of. I'm sick of it all. I don't want to be mad at you anymore, Alex. It's time to just move on and appreciate what we have." She gave me a hug and rested her head on my chest. "I've missed this."

"Me too," I said. "You have no idea how much I've missed this."

Once we were finished cleaning up, we went up to my room. I gave her a shirt and a pair of shorts to change into and later sleep in. After that, we decided to watch a funny movie just to get our minds off everything going on in our lives. We decided to go to bed around 11:00 because we were both exhausted from the day.

"Remember when you slept over my house the night before we started senior year?" she asked when we were finally settled in bed.

"Yeah, what about it?" I wondered.

"That night, we were comparing our relationship to that of Peter Pan and Tinker Bell. Lately, I've been thinking about how there's a part in the movie where Peter and Tink have a fight. Tink flies away, but Peter stays with Wendy. Later, Tink accidentally drinks poison, but Peter comes back to her and saves her by telling her he believes in her. Now, the relationships are even similar than we had initially thought."

"What do you mean?"

"When Eric texted me about performing with you, I was in a pretty bad place and I really did not want to see you. Then, he said that you wanted me to meet you here on Wednesday. Now that I think about it, that was pretty much a dead giveaway. You were the one that reminded Eric about the promise we had made to him."

"You're right. After Katelyn kissed me and I saw you standing there with that look in your eyes, I knew I had to do something about it. When Katelyn and I got inside, I ran upstairs and gave him a call."

"So what I'm saying is that Peter saw that Tink was in pain, so he came back for her and did everything he could to save her. You saw that I was in pain and did the same thing for me in a way."

"What can I say?" I laughed and pulled her close. "I do believe in fairies, I do, I do."

**Chapter 16: Teardrops On My Guitar**

_Taylor's P.O.V._

Two weeks came and went without much change. Alex and I tried to continue living our lives as normally as possible. It was really hard at first, but we knew it was what Eric would have wanted.

We went back to spending most of our time together except for the time he spent with Katelyn. She gave me dirty looks behind his back every opportunity she had. At first, it was awkward, but Alex tried to keep the PDA to a minimum when I was around. I was glad that he wasn't weird about it when we were alone either. Now that he knew how I felt, he could have easily gotten weirded out when I slept next to him or gave him a hug. I guess it just felt as normal to him as it did to me.

Surprisingly, it only took a week for Alex and me to go back to school. It was better than being at home where we were constantly reminded of him. When we went back, everyone treated us differently. Teachers were nicer to us, kids let us get to the front of the lunch line, and they all looked at us with pity in their eyes. Alex and I were no longer ordinary kids; we were now known as the kids who lost a brother, which meant that everyone had to automatically be nice to us. I did not enjoy having the feeling that everyone felt bad for me.

Around this time of year, it became a tradition for us to do a holiday show. Every year, I would open for All Time Low at Ram's Head in Baltimore. We decided that this year wouldn't be any different. Everyone needed a little Christmas cheer, especially after what happened.

We decided to have it on Saturday, December 12th, two days before Alex's birthday and one day before mine. It had to be earlier than normal this year because everyone was either busy or going on vacation around Christmas. This was going to be our first show since the summer. Needless to say, we were all a little nervous.

The show was going to start at seven, so we had to get there at five to run through sound check, but we were done by 5:45, so we all just sat around and ate dinner backstage before the show started.

"Tonight is going to be kind of weird," I said as I bit into the turkey sandwich that the venue provided for me.

"Yeah, it'll be our first show without Eric in the audience," agreed Alex.

"That and it feels like we haven't performed for like a thousand years," exaggerated Jack.

"Alex, is Katelyn coming to the show? I'm curious to meet her and I know you said that she wants to see us perform," asked Zack.

"Yeah she's coming and she said she's really excited. I'm more nervous than I have ever been though."

"Why? Haven't you sung in front of her before?" asked Rian.

"Only like once and I'm performing 'Six Feet under the Stars' tonight. I wrote that song for her and she's only heard one verse so far. I'm nervous about what she's going to think."

"Stop being so modest," I said pushing him playfully. "I'm sure she'll love it."

"She'd better," said Jack. "We spent hours perfecting that song. She had better fucking like it."

"Yeah, Gaskarth, just so you know, I am never doing that much work just so that you can get a girl ever again. I hope you know that," said Rian.

"Gee, thanks, Ri," Alex responded sarcastically. "I really appreciate all the support.

"Yeah, you better," laughed Rian.

"Hey, Taylor, you got any hot friends to introduce me to?" asked Jack. "I'm feeling pretty horny tonight and I want to get lucky." I hit Jack over the head as hard as I could. "Ouch! What? It's a serious question!"

"Ok, first of all," I said trying not to laugh, "you already know most of my friends. Second of all, I would never introduce you to a friend just for you to have a one-night-stand with her."

"Hey! I would try to get to know her a little bit."

"Yeah, you would ask her what her name is and that would be just about all you would get to know about her, except maybe what she looks like naked," sniggered Alex.

"That's not true! I would ask her how old she is. I'm not willing to go to jail for anybody."  
We couldn't hold our laughter in anymore and it took at least a minute for us to regain our composure. I can always count on Jack to lighten the mood.

"But, wait, I have a question," Alex asked while he was still laughing. "What do girls do when they see the size of your penis?"

"Or lack thereof," laughed Rian.

"I bet they wonder if you really are a man because they can't see anything down there," Zack chuckled.

"Hey! My penis is perfectly visible to the ladies when I want it to be," responded Jack. "I'll prove it."

"NO!" I screamed. I held my hands in front of my face. There was no way I was going to let him traumatize me like this. "No, Jack, please don't. I'll take your word for it."

The next moment, the manager of the venue came in and said that I needed to get ready to go on, thank God. I was not willing to see any part of Jack's genitalia.

I took my guitar and walked to the side of the stage where I waited to go on. I could hear a lot of hustle and bustle coming from the venue; there must have been a lot of people. I gulped.

Five minutes later, a tall woman with long brown hair and pale skin walked onstage to introduce me. "Hey, kids!" she said and everyone cheered. "How are you all doing out there?" They screamed even louder. "I think you all know this first singer. She's only seventeen and she's from Lutherville-Timonium. We've had her here before and we think she's completely amazing. Give it up for Taylor Swift!"

I smiled and waved as I walked to the center of the stage. A chair and microphone were already set up for me, so I sat down. I noticed that Katelyn was sitting right up front. The look on her face told me that she hoped I would mess up or fall off the stage somehow. I decided to look at anyone else but her.

"Hey, everybody!" I said into the microphone. "First of all, let me say happy holidays! I'm so happy to be back here again. I think there are even more of you here this year than last year, which is awesome. Anyway this first song is called 'Picture to Burn' and it's about heartbreakers. If you know the words, feel free to sing along."

"_State the obvious  
I didn't get my perfect fantasy  
I realized you love yourself  
More that you could ever love me..."_

"Wow!" I said as I finished the song. "That was amazing! You guys sounded great." Some of the audience members had actually known the words to that song because they had been to my previous shows. "It's been way too long since I've been up here singing for you guys. Right now, you are reminding me of how much I love doing this, so thank you. This next song is about being apart from the one you love and just thinking about all the memories you have together. It's called 'Tim McGraw' and I hope you like it." I heard more cheers from the audience as I began the song.

"_You said the way my blue eyes shined  
Put those Georgia stars to shame that night  
I said, "That's a lie"  
Just a boy in a Chevy truck  
That had a tendency of gettin' stuck  
On backroads at night  
And I was right there beside him  
All summer long  
And then the time we woke up to find  
__That summer'd gone..."_

"Whew," I said, taking a deep breath when the song was done. "I have to say that's one of my favourite songs to perform live, especially with an awesome audience like you guys. Have you guys ever been in the car with your boyfriend or girlfriend and realized that you never decided on a song that represents your relationship? Well, this is 'Our Song' and it's dedicated to all the couples out there."

"_I was riding shotgun with my hair undone  
In the front seat of his car  
He's got a one-hand feel on the steering wheel  
The other on my heart  
I look around, turn the radio down  
He says, Baby is something wrong?  
I say, 'Nothing I was just thinking  
How we don't have a song?' and he says..."_

While I was singing, people began dancing and clapping and I got really into it. I really did miss this. By the time I was done singing, everyone was on their feet. The feeling I got from that was unexplainable. "You guys really do blow me away," I said. "You are all amazing. I have to admit that I was a little bit nervous at first because I haven't played for awhile, but now I'm just having so much fun up here. What about you guys? Are you having fun out there?" Some people screamed. "I can't hear you!" I chanted. I smiled when I heard the loud cheer that followed. "Good, that's what I thought. This next one is called 'White Horse' and I think you can guess what it's about."

"_Say you're sorry, that face of an angel  
Comes out just when you need it to  
As I paced back and forth all this time  
Cause I honestly believed in you  
Holding on, the days drag on  
Stupid girl, I should have known  
I should have known  
I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale  
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet  
Lead her up the stairwell..."_

The song became hard for me to get through by the end because it reminded me so much of my current situation with Alex, but I finally finished without messing up or breaking down, thank God. "I'm sorry to say that this next song will be my last song for the night." I heard boo's coming from the audience. "But, I will be back, I promise you." The boo's turned to cheers. "This last song is called 'Teardrops On My Guitar' and it's about that one boy you can never have. I hope you enjoy it."

"_Drew looks at me  
I fake a smile so he won't see  
What I want and I need  
And everything that we should be_

I'll bet she's beautiful  
That girl he talks about  
And she's got everything  
That I have to live without

Drew talks to me  
I laugh 'cause it's just so funny  
I can't even see  
Anyone when he's with me

_He says he's so in love  
He's finally got it right  
__I wonder if he knows  
He's all I think about at night_

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar  
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star  
He's the song in the car I keep singing  
Don't know why I do

Drew walks by me  
Can he tell that I can't breathe?  
And there he goes, so perfectly  
The kind of flawless I wish I could be

She better hold him tight  
Give him all her love  
Look in those beautiful eyes  
And know she's lucky 'cause

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar  
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star  
He's the song in the car I keep singing  
Don't know why I do

So I drive home alone  
As I turn out the light  
I'll put his picture down  
And maybe get some sleep tonight

'Cuz he's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar  
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart  
He's the song in the car I keep singing  
Don't know why I do

He's the time taken up but there's never enough  
And he's all that I need to fall into  
Drew looks at me  
I fake a smile so he won't see"

There it was, the song I wrote for Alex. The look on Katelyn's face caught my eye as I finished the song. I could see the fire and jealousy in her eyes. Maybe now she would see just how much he meant to me. I noticed someone move in the shadows to my right. I quickly turned and saw Alex, along with the rest of All Time Low, standing there with a confused look on his face. Never in my life had I wanted to be able to read minds more than I did at that very moment.

"Happy holidays, everybody," I said to the audience. "Thank you for coming and hopefully I will see you soon. Goodnight." I took my guitar and walked offstage right past Alex and the rest of All Time Low.

_Alex's P.O.V._

As I listened to Taylor's beautiful singing voice, I couldn't help but wonder who the song was about. Who the hell is this Drew guy? She had never told me about liking a kid named Drew who had a girlfriend. In fact, I don't ever remember her mentioning a Drew. She finished the song and walked swiftly by without giving me a second glance.

"Who is Drew?" I asked Jack. "Is he someone she just met?"

Jack just looked at me and shrugged. "She never mentioned a Drew to me. Maybe she changed the name for the song."

I thought about what he had just said. I had never heard this song before, so it must have been written somewhat recently, which had to mean that she started liking this kid within the past few months. Who had she liked recently? Then, it hit me.

It was me. The song was about me.

The song was called "Teardrops on my Guitar"; I had made her cry. I never realized that I hurt her that much.

Before I really had time to think about it, the woman with the long brown hair came back onstage to introduce us. "Give it up for All Time Low!" she said, keeping it short. We ran onstage and immediately began to sing "Lost In Stereo."

"_She works for the weekend  
Mixtape of her favorite bands  
Turning up the radio  
Lost in the stereo, sound  
She's trouble in a tank top  
Pretty little time bomb  
Blowin' up  
Take you down  
Living in the radio  
Lost in stereo, sound..."_

"Baltimore, you are fucking amazing," I said as we ended the song. Everyone cheered. "Give it up one more time for Taylor Swift!" The cheers grew even louder. "She's my best friend. We've been friends since we were little. Soon we're going to graduate high school and things are going to change. This next one's called 'Weightless'."

"_Manage me I'm a mess  
Turn a page, I'm a book  
Half unread  
I wanna be laughed at  
Laughed with, just because  
I wanna feel weightless  
And that should be enough..."_

"Holy shit, that was insane," Jack said into his microphone. "Baltimore, I've missed you! It's been too long since we have been together. I would gladly have sex with all of you right now. Come find me after the concert and we can all have one massive orgy. How does that sound?" Every single girl in the room screamed. "Speaking of orgies, you know how they say 'men are from Mars and women are from Venus'? Well, if you think about it, 'Venus' is like 'penis' and 'vagina' put together like having sex. Maybe we all come from Venus because we are all a result of our parents fucking each other." While he was explaining his theory, he touched his left index finger to his left thumb to form an "O" and stuck his right index finger through the "O" to demonstrate the action. Everyone in the audience laughed.

"Jack is just saying that because he wants to get laid tonight," I said, trying to hold back laughter. The girls continued to cheer. "Don't fall for his tricks though. He only wants a one-night stand because he's a man whore. For this next song, I want to see every single one of you off your feet. It's called 'Break Your Little Heart' because Jack is a heartbreaking man whore. Let's have a fucking dance party."

"_Wide awake, my mistake  
__So predictable  
You were fake, I was great  
Nothing personal  
I'm walking  
Who's laughing now?  
(Who's laughing, who's laughing now?)  
I'm wasted, wasting time  
You talk for hours  
But you're wasting lines  
A pretty face but the chase  
Ain't worth the prize..."_

"Now that was a party!" I said as the song ended. "It's so good to be playing for you guys again. Usually, I just play for Jack's mom when we're in the bedroom at night, but I like playing for you guys too. She gives me special treats when I'm a good boy, right Joyce? Where are you?" I searched the audience and found her standing off to the side and blowing me a kiss. The crowd began to cheer again.

"Mom!" Jack yelled pretending to be surprised. "Your vagina should only be open to Dad, not the public."

"Uhm anyway," Zack said awkwardly into the microphone and everyone laughed. "This one is called 'Jasey Rae'."

"We've decided to change it up a little bit and play this one acoustically if that's cool with you," I said. I heard a loud cheer as an answer, so someone walked onstage and handed Zack an acoustic guitar.

"_The lights out,  
I still hear the rain,  
These images that fill my head,  
Now keep my fingers from making mistakes,  
Tell my voice what it takes,  
To speak up,  
Speak up,  
and keep my conscience clear when I wake..."_

During the song, people took out their cell phones, lighters, or anything with a light really and began waving them slowly back and forth in the air. "You guys fucking blow me away," I said at the end of the song. "I know this might sound kind of corny, but I've always wanted to sing a song and have everyone in the audience wave a lighter in the air. You have no idea how cool it looks from up here, so thank you." Now, for this next song, most of you should know the words, so I want to hear your beautiful voices singing along. It's about a stripper, so if you feel like taking your clothes off, go right ahead. Jack needs some new bras because he said his boobs are getting saggy, so maybe you could give him some of yours."

"_I got your picture  
I'm coming with you  
Dear Maria, count me in  
There's a story at the bottom of this bottle  
And I'm the pen..."_

While I was singing, I noticed numerous bras come flying at the stage. At the end, Jack walked around and picked them up. "Thanks," he said as he piled them onto his microphone stand. "I'm going to sleep with these tonight and fantasize that I'm sleeping with all of you."

I turned to Jack and said, "I guess you will have to wash your sheets tomorrow then. Wet dreams can leave stains."

"It'll be worth it," he responded. "Who do you have wet dreams about, Alex?"

"Keira Knightley. Damn, she's hot. If any of you know her, send her my way. I've been saving myself for her."

"If by saving yourself, you mean losing your virginity when you were sixteen, then you have been doing a pretty good job," said Jack.

"My physical virginity may be gone, but my heart is still a virgin. I'm waiting for her to come and deflower me with those big brown eyes.

"You can have Keira as long as I get Meghan Fox," responded Jack.

"Ok deal. And if any of you can bring her to me, we'll have a threesome. Anyway, unfortunately, this is our last song, but it's a new one. It's dedicated to a very special girl out in the audience. Katelyn, I'm so glad you're here. This is for you. It's called 'Six Feet Under The Stars' and I hope you like it." My eyes searched for her and I saw that she was standing right up front smiling brightly at me. I always wondered how someone that attractive would want to be with a guy like me.

"_Time to lay claim to the evidence  
Fingerprints sell me out  
But our footprints washed away  
From the docks downtown  
It's been getting late for days  
And I feel myself deserving of a little time off  
We can kick it here for hours  
And just mouth off about the world  
And how we know it's going straight to hell_

Pass me another bottle, honey  
The Jaeger's so sweet  
But if it keeps you around, then I'm down

Meet me on Thames Street  
I'll take you out  
Though I'm hardly worth your time  
_In the cold, you look so fierce  
But I'm warming up  
Because the tension's like a fire  
We'll hit South Broadway in a matter of minutes  
And like a bad movie, I'll drop a line  
Fall in the grave I've been digging myself  
But there's room for two  
Six feet under the stars_

I should have known better than to call you out  
(On a night like this, a night like this)  
If not for you, I know I'd tear this place to the ground  
(But I'm all right like this, all right like this)  
I'm gonna roll the dice  
Before you sober up and get gone  
I'm always in over my head

Thames Street  
I'll take you out  
Though I'm hardly worth your time  
In the cold, you look so fierce  
But I'm warming up  
Because the tension's like a fire  
_We'll hit South Broadway in a matter of minutes  
And like a bad movie, I'll drop a line  
Fall in the grave I've been digging myself  
But there's room for two  
Six feet under the stars_

Time to lay claim to the evidence  
Fingerprints sell me out  
But our footprints washed away  
I'm guilty, but I'm safe for one more day  
Overdressed and underage  
Do you really need see an ID?  
This is embarrassing as hell  
But I can cover for it so well  
When we're six feet under the stars

Thames Street  
I'll take you out  
Though I'm hardly worth your time  
In the cold you look so fierce  
But I'm warming up  
Because the tension's like a fire  
We'll hit South Broadway in a matter of minutes  
And like a bad movie, I'll drop a line  
Fall in the grave I've been digging myself  
But there's room for two  
Six feet under the stars  
Six feet under the stars  
_Six feet under the stars."_

"Thank you so much, Baltimore," I said as the last chords sounded. "You were a blast. We love you. Peace." We filed offstage. As soon as I was backstage, Taylor ran up to us with an excited look in her eyes. We heard the crowd chanting, "One more song!" as we left.

"Wait guys! I have an idea," she said. When she caught our curious expressions, she explained. "Since it's the holidays, why don't we all do an encore together? We can sing a Christmas song."

"Hey, I'm game," I agreed. Why not? It was the holidays, after all. Plus, it was always fun to sing with Taylor.

Everyone else agreed. "All right, let's do it," said Jack.

"You know what else everyone would love?" asked Rian. "We haven't done 'Remembering Sunday' in awhile and I think Taylor would sound great on Juliet's part. What do you think?"

"I think we should get out there before everyone leaves," she responded. "Let's go." She took my hand and everyone else followed as we ran back onstage.

"Hey everyone!" she said excitedly into the microphone. "Since it's the holidays, we thought we would give you a little treat: an unplanned encore. How does that sound?" The crowd went wild and she smiled at me.

"We figured that, since Taylor is a girl and we haven't performed this song in awhile, that we would do 'Remembering Sunday'. Is that cool?" Everyone cheered, so I began to play the song acoustically.

"_He woke up from dreaming and put on his shoes  
Starting making his way past 2 in the morning  
He hasn't been sober for days  
__Leaning out into the breeze  
Remembering Sunday, he falls to his knees  
They had breakfast together  
But two eggs don't last  
Like the feeling of what he needs..."_

When it was Taylor's turn, she turned to me and sang in a soft, clear voice.

_"I'm not coming back, I've done something so terrible  
I'm terrified to speak, but you'd expect that from me  
I'm mixed up, I'll be blunt; now the rain is  
Washing you out of my hair and out of my mind  
Keeping an eye on the world,  
So many thousands of feet off the ground  
I'm over you now I'm at home in the clouds  
Towering over your head"_

By the time we were done, everyone was cheering and had taken out their lighters again. Damn, how I loved this feeling. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that this is what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I could never get sick of this.

"Now that's what I'm talking about!" said Taylor. "You must be living under a rock if you don't know this next song, so I want to hear you sing along!" We started playing the beginning chords of "Jingle Bell Rock" and everyone went crazy. Taylor and I alternated verses and then sang together at the end.

"_Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock  
Jingle bells swing and jingle bells ring  
Snowin' and blowin' up bushels of fun  
Now the jingle hop has begun..."_

I tried not to laugh as I watched people dancing in the audience. Holiday shows were the best because everyone was so happy.

"Thanks again, Baltimore!" I said. "Be safe and happy holidays." We all waved and walked off the stage for the last time that night.

I immediately grabbed a bottle of water and a towel to wipe all the sweat off my face.

"That show was killer!" exclaimed Jack.

"Yeah, that audience was amazing," gushed Taylor. "I am so glad we did that. It was so much fun."

"I can't believe we went six months without performing. Let's not do that again," I said. Everyone else agreed.

"Excuse me, Mr. Gaskarth." I turned around when I felt someone tap me on the shoulder and found myself face-to-face with a male stage manager. "There's a girl named Katelyn waiting for you in the dressing room."

"Thank you." I walked to the dressing room and found Katelyn sitting on the black leather couch inside.

"Hey, Baby," she said getting up and wrapping her arms around my neck and giving me a kiss. "You were amazing tonight."

"Did you like the song I wrote about you?" I asked, placing my forehead against hers.

"I loved it just like I love you," she kissed me again, more passionately this time. She tried to take off my shirt, but I stopped her.

"Baby, not here," I said out of breath.

"Why not?" she pouted. "I want you right now."

"I know, but I don't want anyone walking in on us."

I would never be able to live with myself if Taylor ever walked in on me having sex with Katelyn. I would do everything I could to avoid causing her that trauma.

"I don't care if anyone walks in on us and neither should you." She kissed me again and I gently pushed her away.

"I would prefer to wait until we get to somewhere more private," I said firmly.

She took a step back and looked at my face.

"It's her, isn't it, Taylor? She's the reason why you don't want to have sex."

"Part of it, yeah. I don't want her to walk in because it would be embarrassing and cause unnecessary awkwardness between us."

"Don't try to cover it up, Alex." She was slightly angry now. "I know how she feels about you. She wrote that whole fucking song for you. Don't pretend you didn't realize that when you heard it."

I shrugged. "She's still my best friend and I still care about her, even if it's not in the same way she cares about me. I don't want to hurt her."

"Or, maybe you just don't want to sleep with me."

"Kate, you know that's not true."

"Do I? Because you have a funny way of showing it. Lately, everything seems to be about Taylor. What about me?"

"What about you?" I blew up at her. "Ever since Eric died, Taylor has been with me every step of the way. I can't honestly say the same about you. You did not even call me once to see how I was doing the week I was gone from school. I needed you and you weren't there. Some girlfriend you are. Taylor, on the other hand, has always put my needs ahead of her own and she has never failed me, not once. She sticks by me even when it hurts her. I don't deserve to have a friend like her."

"Why can't you see it? She's sticking by you so that she can convince you to break up with me! She has never liked me and she wants you all to herself."

"Then tell me why, when she saw you with me after the funeral, she told me that she would never make me choose between you and her?"

"It's simple, really. It's because she knows that you would choose me and that's not what she wanted to hear."

I laughed bitterly. "Wow, I can't believe you would actually say that. Do you have any idea how conceited you just sounded? You are definitely not the person I thought you were."

"Look, I'm sorry," she said. "Can we just forget this ever happened?"

"No! We can't fucking forget! I can't believe I was so blind about you all this time. Everyone else was right about you, but I just couldn't see it. You were manipulating me the whole time."

"Alex, you know that's not true!"

"Do I? Because, I mean, you already lied to me and now you are basically trying to make me drop my best friend. In fact, you are the reason that we weren't talking for two months."

"I never lied to you."

"Bullshit. You told me that Taylor threatened you to stay away from me. Well, guess what? Now, I know what a lying bitch you are. Everything you just said proved it to me, so good job. You really had me going for awhile."

"I can't believe you would think so little of me," she said in a fake hurt voice.

"You really should save the lies for someone who might actually believe them," I said coldly. "Now, please get the fuck out of my dressing room. We're done."

"Fine," she said. She slowly walked toward the door, but then she changed her mind and turned back to me with fire in her eyes. "Just so you know, I cheated on you."

"What?" I said taken off guard.

"Yeah, I cheated on you with Ben Gold. He was better than you will ever be." She took one last angry look at me and then walked out the door.

I sat dejectedly on the couch. My angel had suddenly turned into the devil, horns and all. Suddenly, I got up and punched the wall with all my might.

"RRRRRAAAAAAHHHHH! FUCK!" I screamed. I heard the sound of feet as people came running towards the room. How could that bitch do this to me?

**Chapter 17: Happy Birthday**

_Taylor's P.O.V._

I guess you could say it's a coincidence that Alex and I are best friends who were born only one day apart, but to us, it was only another advantage to our relationship. Our mothers loved it because that meant that we could share birthday parties; we would get to have the kind of parties we wanted and our parents could split the cost. It was a win-win for everyone. When we got too old for parties, our whole family would go out to a nice dinner and then come back to one of our houses for cake and presents.

This birthday, however, was different. We no longer had Eric to help us celebrate and no one was the same. Our birthday dinner was spent mostly in silence and Melanie did not even bother to come. She was the only one who hadn't found a way to return to her normal life. I didn't feel like it was my birthday; I felt like I was just going through the motions.

Alex was a wreck, to put it mildly. On my birthday, he put up a front and faked a smile so that he wouldn't ruin it for me, but I could see right through his apparition. His eyes were red, bloodshot, and puffy from lack of sleep. He was very nearly catatonic at dinner; he would only sit and stare blankly, only speaking when spoken to. The next day, he didn't even acknowledge the fact that it was his birthday. When someone said, "Happy birthday," to him, he would just nod and say, "Thank you," and then go back to being silent. The combination of losing his brother and a girl he loved must have really thrown him for a loop. I was scared of what he would do next.

The night that Katelyn broke up with him, he punched his fist through the wall. By the time we all reached the room, his hand was turning red and purple and his knuckles were bleeding. His whole face was red and he was very nearly hyperventilating. It almost seemed like he was having a nervous breakdown.

We decided to take him to the ER when we were finally able to calm him down a little bit. The x-rays showed that he broke his hand, so the nurses put him in a dark blue cast. He would have to keep the cast on for the next month. He made himself hurt so badly that he actually broke a bone.

During the week, things got worse instead of better. Even though Alex came to school, he would not interact with anyone and he tried to avoid Katelyn at all costs. There were times when I would run into her in the hallway and look at her with venom in my eyes. I would never forgive her for what she did to my best friend. He would go to school and then come home and sit in his room for hours. No one could get him to become more responsive, not even me.

"I just wish things would return back to normal," said Jack on Wednesday of that week. We were sitting in the cafeteria watching Alex as he walked in and joined the lunch line.

"Don't we all?" I said dejectedly. "I feel so helpless; like there's no way that I can help him. She really did a good job breaking his heart."

"At this point, I think all we can do is be there for him. He knows he can come to us if he needs us."

"But he hasn't had a full night of sleep in almost three weeks and the only thing he does anymore is sit in his room. That's not normal, Jack."

"I know, but I think that, at this point, if we say anything about it to him, he'll just push us away. What we need to do is figure out a way to distract him from all the drama in his life right now."

"How do we do that?"

"I think I have an idea. Leave it up to me."

"What are you going to do?"

"You'll see," he said mischievously. Alex approached the table, so the subject was dropped. Jack did not bring it up again.

Friday was December 18th, Rian's birthday, so we all decided to go out and celebrate, even Alex. He didn't want to ruin Rian's birthday either. After we went out to dinner, we were about to go to a club, but then Jack said that he left something at my house from when he came over the previous night, so we drove back to my house. When we got there, he insisted that everyone come in to help him look for it. When I opened the front door and turned on the lights, people jumped out of the shadows and yelled, "Surprise!" I looked up and saw that there was a banner hanging up that said, "Happy Birthday Rian, Taylor, and Alex."

"Wow," I said and my mouth formed a surprised "O" shape.

"Holy shit!" Rian exclaimed. "I had no idea that you guys did this! Thank you!"

"No problem," said Jack. "Now, let's have some fun and party!"

"Wait, Jack, where are my parents?" I asked,

"I convinced them to go spend the night next door. They promised that we could have the party just as long as we don't trash the place or let people drive drunk."

"Whoa, you really did your homework. I'm impressed," I replied.

"Contrary to popular belief, I'm good for more than just sex," he responded and I laughed.

Someone turned on the music and people began to dance around the living room. Jack took my hand, led me to the center of the room, and we began to dance. Rian, Zack, and Alex disappeared into the crowd. After dancing for a little while, we went in the kitchen to grab some alcohol. When we got there, we saw Alex slumped on the floor holding a bottle of Stella Artois beer. I tried to pull him up by the arm, but he would not budge.

"Alex, come on, get up."

"No! I don't w-want to." It wasn't even an hour into the party and he was already drunk.

"You don't even want to come out and enjoy your own party?"

"I'm enjoying it from right h-here. Th-there are things out th-there that I d-don't want to s-see."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" asked Jack.

"She's out there," he said, taking another swig of his beer, "and she's with another guy. I s-saw them m-making out."

As soon as he said that, I stormed out of the kitchen and walked through the crowd to find her. I wasn't going to let this bitch ruin my party. After what seemed like forever, I saw red hair out of the corner of my eye and made my way over to her. I tapped her hard on the shoulder, so she finally stopped kissing the guy she was with and turned around to face me.

"What the hell do you want?" she said harshly, giving me the once-over.

"What I want," I responded venomously, "Is to know what makes you think you are welcome in my house."

"It's a party, dumbass. That's what I'm here for. I can do whatever I want and be wherever I want, so deal with it."

"You know what? I couldn't be happier that Alex dumped you. You don't deserve him and you never did. Everyone knows that you are the world's biggest slut. Now that I think of it, I should probably take him to the hospital to get checked because God only knows how many S.T.D.s you could have given him."

Someone turned off the music so that the rest of the crowd could listen to the drama between Katelyn and me.

""At least he got some from me. He used to tell me how he would get bored with you. I was good enough to have him love me back, but you aren't. You still want him and it's killing you. Well guess what, Taylor? He'll never want you because you will never be enough for him. Just face it; you aren't good enough."

"At least I'm important enough for him to want to keep me in his life. I can't say the same for you. Now I won't have to worry about him knocking you up. In fact, if you were to get pregnant, you probably wouldn't know who the father is because you sleep with so many different people." She pushed me hard and I pushed back, but Jack got between us and held her back before it could go any farther. "You better get the hell out of my house right now or, so help me God, I will throw you out with my own bare hands."

She laughed. "I would love to see you try," she said condescendingly and turned to the guy she was with. "Come on, Alex, let's go. This party is lame anyway." I watched as Jack let go of her and she took the other Alex's hand and led him out the door.

I turned to go back to the kitchen, but then I saw that my Alex was standing right behind me. He still had the bottle of Stella in his hand and he looked broken. I opened my arms and he fell into them. The party continued around us.

A few minutes later, Alex asked me if he could go upstairs and try to sleep off the alcohol, so I walked him upstairs to my room.

"Taylor, I-I'm s-sorry if I ruined the p-party for y-you," he said miserably as I tucked him into my bed.

"None of this was your fault. I hope you know that. I can't believe she had the gall to show up here in the first place."

"She said his name was Alex," he said, laughing bitterly. "How ironic. She can replace me with the snap of a finger, yet here I am a fucking mess."

"You can't help the way you feel," I said sympathetically.

"I want you to know that I am truly sorry if I ever made you feel the way I do now."

"That's all in the past. Everything is good with us now. I'm not going to leave your side. I hope you realize that."

"Thanks, Tay," he said smiling weakly at me.

"Now, try to sleep. You are going to have a massive hangover in the morning."

"Ok, but can you do me a favour?"

"What do you need?"

"Can you stay with me for a little bit? It's nice knowing I have company."

"Of course."

I watched as he tilted his head back on the pillow and closed his eyes. Hopefully he would be able to make it through the whole night.

While he was falling asleep, I walked over to my shelf and looked at my picture frames. I noticed that there was a picture there of me, Jack, Alex, and Eric that was taken on Alex's birthday last year. I picked it up and cradled it in my hands, rubbing my thumb affectionately over Eric's face. We were so happy and carefree back then. It's amazing how many things can change in just one year. I was a different person back then.

A few minutes later, Jack came up to check on us. When he opened the door, I put a finger to my lips to tell him to be quiet. He looked over at Alex in the bed and then walked over to me.

"How are you doing?" he whispered.

"I'm fine," I responded without taking my eyes off the picture. "I'm pondering life and how it can change within the blink of an eye."

He looked down at the picture too. "Things were so much simpler back then."

"Yeah," I agreed. "Life would be so much easier if Eric was still here." I impatiently wiped a tear away from my cheek. Now was not the time to cry.

"It's ok to miss him, you know. After all, you were pretty much just as close to him as Alex was. You don't have to act so tough all the time."

"It's just so hard sometimes," I said. Jack took me into his arms and held me for awhile.

A little while later, we went back downstairs to join the rest of the party. Jack went out of his way to make sure I had a good time. That kid always had my back no matter what. At the end of the night, once everyone left, I crawled into my bed and slept next to Alex.

~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning, I woke up to the sound of Alex throwing up in the bathroom. What a great thing to wake up to. Here came the hangover. I sat up as he came back in and sat next to me in bed.

"How are you feeling?" I asked, even though I already had a pretty good idea of what the answer would be.

"Pretty shitty," he responded. His voice was hoarse, his eyes were puffy and tired, and he had a bad case of bed-head.

"I thought so. You look it," I teased.

"Thanks a lot," he said sarcastically.

"Anytime. But, in all seriousness, I need to talk to you."

"What's up?"

"I really hate to have to bring this up, but ever since Eric died, you haven't been the same."

"Thank you, Captain Obvious."

"Alex, please be serious. You haven't slept a full night in like three weeks. I heard you last night, so there's no use denying it. You haven't been living your life. This past week, you've been practically catatonic. Then, last night, you got so drunk that you made yourself throw up. I'm really worried about you. I'm scared that Eric's death combined with your breakup with Katelyn was just too much for you to take."

"So what are you saying?"

"I'm saying...I'm saying that I think maybe you should see somebody."

"What?"

"Just hear me out, ok? I think a therapist would be able to help you sort through your feelings and help you grieve in the healthiest way possible. You can't keep on living the way you are and you know it. I'll even go with you if you need me to. I just don't want to see you in so much pain anymore. I'm so scared that I'm going to lose you the way I lost Eric."

"I would never do that to you," he responded.

"I'm not willing to take any chances with you. All I'm asking is that you think about it. There's nothing wrong with getting a little help every once in awhile."

"Ok, I promise to consider it."

"Good. That's all that I'm asking."

"I'm sorry to make you worry so much. I promise I won't leave you the way Eric left us, but I'm just going through a really rough time right now."

I nodded. "I know," I said and I hugged him. "I think we all are."

"There's actually something I wanted to talk to you about too," he said a few minutes later.

"What is it?" I asked curiously.

"I know that you wrote 'Teardrops On My Guitar' for me."

"Oh," I said. I couldn't think of anything more creative.

"I just wanted you to know that, after I got over the shock, I was touched by it. It was so sweet of you to write a song about me. Your words were beautiful. I know I'm starting to sound like a broke, record, but I really am so glad that I have you. Right now, I'm not ready to be in another relationship so quickly, but I do know that anyone would be lucky to have you for a girlfriend."

"Thanks, Alex," I said. "That really means a lot to me." He took one arm, wrapped it around me, and pulled me close to him. My best friend and I sat there and held each other for awhile; neither of us had the slightest desire to move from where we were at that very moment.

**Chapter 18: Give Me Therapy**

_Alex's P.O.V._

Everything about my life pretty much sucked. Nothing was interesting to me anymore and I didn't really care about anything. So what if I failed a math test or got suspended because my principal somehow found out I was drinking on school property? None of it mattered anymore, not when the rest of my life lay deep in the pits of hell.

Winter break came and went in a blur. Taylor, Jack, Zack, and Rian did their best to take me out and distract me. It worked sometimes, but, every time I closed my eyes, I still saw my brother lying dead in that hospital bed or Katelyn kissing another guy at my party. It was finally time to go back to school and I couldn't be more relieved. The only thing I could do when I was suspended was sit at home and think of how much my life sucked. Now I could be somewhat distracted for at least six hours of the day instead of none.

I noticed that my friends had become a lot more careful around me; they watched what they said and they always made sure we were doing something I would enjoy. They did not say or do anything that had the slightest possibility of upsetting me. Taylor would look at me with concern in her eyes when she thought I couldn't see. I knew my behavior was worrying them, but there was nothing I could do to stop myself or make myself snap out of it. My life was my prison.

I couldn't stop thinking about what Taylor had said to me the day after the party and wondered if a therapist was really what I needed. However, there were two things I was sure of: a) I was hurting her by behaving like this and b) it would make her feel better if I saw someone. I decided that it couldn't hurt to try it out. If it made her feel better, it was worth it. I would give it a shot.

When I told my dad what I was going to do, he was very supportive and found the best therapist we could afford under our health insurance. However, when I told my mom, she didn't even blink twice. It was decided that my first session with Dr. Greene would today, January 4th, in the afternoon after my first day back at school.

The day carried on like any other boring day at school. I sat next to Jack in most of my classes, but we were able to say very little to each other because teachers had learned to watch us like hawks. When it came time for lunch, I took the long way to get to my locker so that I wouldn't have to run into Katelyn; I was afraid of what I might do to her if I did.

Five minutes later, I walked into the cafeteria and joined the lunch line like normal. I gazed around the room trying to find where Taylor and Jack were sitting. When I found them, they were laughing and playfully throwing food at each other. They looked so happy and perfectly content. I stared at them more closely as a thought occurred to me: they were good for each other.

Jack could give Taylor what I couldn't right now: what she deserved. He was funny, lively, full of life, all of which I wasn't. He could care for her and love her in a way that I couldn't. For some reason, that made me sad. I knew they should be together, but I definitely didn't want them to be. Some may have said that it was because I would have felt like a third wheel if they got together, but that wasn't the reason. It wasn't just that I didn't want Taylor to be with Jack; I didn't want Taylor to be with anybody. How selfish was I?

The person behind me gave me a little push and I saw that the line had moved up a lot. I paid for my food and sat down next to Jack. They stopped their miniature food fight and directed their attention at me.

"Hey," said Taylor. "How has your day been?"

"Normal," I said simply. "Nothing out of the ordinary."

"Well that's good. At least nothing bad happened."

"Yeah, I guess," I said as I began to eat my food. After a few minutes of silence, I realized I was being rude, so I asked, "How were both of your days?"

"Fine," Taylor said. "It's hard getting back into the swing of things when we've been off for so long."

"Man, my day fucking sucked!" Jack burst out. "I hate school. I can't wait until we graduate. I loved not having to wake up early or worry about anything all last week. It fucking sucks to be back. And to top it all off, Taylor was mean to me right before you got here. She told me I look like a monkey!"

"But that was after you called me a poodle!" Taylor defended herself.

Jack ignored her comment. "And then she had the nerve to throw food at me! Can you believe it? How dare she do such a thing?"

"Oh, the blasphemy!" I said sarcastically.

"What's 'blasphemy'?" Jack asked. His eyebrows crinkled in confusion.

Taylor and I looked at each other and laughed. Jack really was a special human being.

"What?" he asked. "Stop laughing at me! I always failed those stupid vocabulary tests!"

"'Blasphemy' is like another word for abuse," said Taylor through her laughter.

"Oh" was all that Jack said and he sat back in his chair and pouted.

"So, um, Alex," Taylor said awkwardly, "Your first therapy session is after school today, right?" I nodded, so she asked, "Do you need me to come with you?"

I took a moment to think it over then responded, "No, I don't think so. I think this is something I need to do on my own. Thank you, though."

"Ok," she said. "Let me know if you change your mind."

"I will. Jack, can you give her a ride home?" It was my turn to drive to school today, but I just remembered that I would not have any time to drop Taylor off after school.

"Yeah, of course."

Did you ever notice that time speeds by when you don't want it to? The rest of the school day flew by and soon I found myself driving in my car on the way to my appointment. The butterflies fluttered in my stomach as I turned into the parking lot. I had never been put in the position where I had to talk about myself and my problems with someone I did not know. I parked the car and walked inside as slowly as I could.

I went inside, signed in at the front desk, and sat down to look at the room. This practice was different than any other doctor's office I had been to. For one thing, the waiting room was empty except for the receptionist who sat behind the desk reading a magazine. The walls were all white except for one painting that hung above the ten blue flowery chairs that sat on the blue rug in an 'L' shape. A TV hung in the corner of the small room right next to the door that led into the office and a stack of magazines lay right under it. I picked up a random magazine and began to flip through it mindlessly.

Five minutes later, the door opened and closed and an older man walked quietly out of the office. I heard shuffling behind the desk and then the door opened again to reveal a woman in her forties wearing a gray suit with a white blouse underneath. Her light brown hair hung loosely around her shoulders and she put on her black-rimmed glasses as she picked up my file and called my name. I got up and followed her into her private room.

The room immediately reminded me of _The Sopranos_; there were just two dark gray chairs in the room sitting across from each others. The walls were painted silver and the rug was dark gray. A bookshelf and a desk stood off to the side and there was one small window of light in the back of the room.

As soon as the doors closed, she held out her hand for me to shake and smiled. "Hi, Alex, I'm Dr. Greene."

"Hi," I said, shaking her hand.

She motioned over to the chairs, so I sat down. She walked over to her desk and took out a notebook and pen.

"If it's ok with you, Alex, I would like to take some notes during our session just so that I can keep track of everything," she said as she walked over and sat down in the chair opposite me. "I keep everything I write down about my patients in a locked filing cabinet that only I have the key to, so no one else will see it."

I nodded. "That's fine."

"Ok, good," she said smiling warmly at me. "So, tell me about yourself. What brings you here today?"

"Um, well," I began hesitantly. "Almost everything in my life has changed drastically in the last month. I feel like I don't even know who I am anymore."

"Explain what you mean by that. How has your life changed?"

"In a nutshell, my best friend and big brother committed suicide the day before Thanksgiving. Two weeks later, I found out that the girl I was in love with had never felt the same way and was cheating on me. I haven't been sleeping the whole night through ever since my brother died."

"Well, that certainly is a big change. Tell me about your relationship with your brother."

"He was one of the best people I have ever known. He was one of the only people in my life who literally knew everything about me. Even if I tried to keep a secret from him, I couldn't because he could always see right through me. Sometimes, he would come home from school if he felt that I needed him or just to see me."

"Why do you think he committed suicide?"

"He wanted to be a professional soccer player, but then he got notice that he failed a class and got kicked off his school's soccer team, which crushed his dreams. In his mind, he must have thought that no coach would accept a player who could not pass a college math course. Apparently, he was in a fight with his girlfriend too and he thought they were over, so he decided that it was over for him."

"This might seem like a rhetorical question, but how does that make you feel?"

"I feel so many different things that I can't put it all into just one word. At first, I felt extremely angry that he did this to himself. How could he kill himself without even giving a second thought to how it would affect his family? And then of course I felt immense pain at the loss. The thought occurred to me that my brother's death was probably partly my fault."

"What makes you say that?" Dr. Greene asked as she scribbled away in her notebook.

"I'm in a band and I have played at a lot of big shows. My parents always showed great pride in my talent and they always came to almost every concert I had. There were times when my mom would ask me to sing for her just out of the blue. When it came to Eric's soccer talent, they never gave it much thought and, when they did, they pressured him to be better. My parents never gave him the attention he deserved and I was the one that was taking it away."

"Did Eric ever tell you that he felt overshadowed by you?"

"No, of course not. He would never want to hurt my feelings or admit his weakness."

"Do you think it's possible that you could be blaming yourself because you don't want to blame him?"

I looked down at my hands. "No, I don't think so."

"And why is that?"

"My mom told me it was my fault that my brother is dead."

"What exactly did she say to you?"

"A few weeks ago, I did a Christmas concert with Taylor because it's something we do every year and I was trying to return back to my normal life. The day after the concert, I came into her room and she was lying in bed, which is all she does ever since Eric died. I tried to tell her about the concert and how I found out my girlfriend cheated on me, but she turned to me with cold, apathetic eyes and told me how she couldn't understand how I could just forget about my brother like that. She proceeded to say that I was selfish and undeserving of love and that I purposely tried to make my brother's life a living hell. The following week, I wouldn't say anything to anybody. My friends thought it was because of what happened with my girlfriend, but it was mostly because I believed what my mother said. Sometimes, I still do."

"You said that your mother has been staying in bed ever since the death, which is a sure sign that she's suffering from some form of depression. Do you think she was in her right mind when she was saying all these horrible things to you?"

"I can't say for sure, but I don't think so."

"What's most likely happening is that your mother really blames herself for your brother's death and she's taking it out on everyone else."

I nodded. "That might be true."

"Now, before you said that you were suffering from insomnia; you haven't slept one full night since your brother died. Is it because you are having nightmares or you just can't physically fall asleep?"

"Both, I guess. Every time I close my eyes, I see my brother's dead body and then that gets me to thinking about him and what happened. All that pain comes right back and hits me again like it just happened yesterday."

"Hmm and this happens every night?"

"Every night."

She looked down at my file. "It says here that you were suspended from school last month. What did you do?"

"I was caught drinking on school property. I decided that my life was in hell already and nothing could make it worse than it was, so I brought the beer to school and drank it in class because I failed a math test. I was sent home fifteen minutes later."

She nodded and took a quick look at her watch.

"It appears we are almost out of time already, but I have one last question for you. Are you allergic to any medications?"

"Not that I know of, why?"

"What do you think of going on antidepressants?"

"Would it help?"

"I think it would. It will help to heighten your mood a little bit, which will hopefully lead to you sleeping better and feeling better all around. Of course, you would have to talk to your parents about it and we would have to talk about which medication to put you on. What do you think?"

"I'm willing to try it."

"Ok, so then how about you come in the same time on Wednesday and we can discuss it further?"

"All right."

She stood up and held her hand out to me again. I got up and shook it. "It was nice to meet you, Alex," she said. "I look forward to seeing you on Wednesday. Don't forget to talk to your parents."

"Yeah, I won't. I'll see you then," I said and I walked out of the office and into freedom once more. For some reason, I felt a little bit lighter as I was walking out to my car, as if a heavy burden was slowly being lifted off my back. Maybe this whole therapy thing wasn't such a bad idea after all.

**Chapter 19: The Alex and Taylor Show**

_Taylor's P.O.V._

It seemed like time was flying by with the speed of light. It's been a whole month since Alex's first therapy session and I finally started to notice an improvement. There would still be times when he got depressed, but they were few and far between. He was finally starting to go back to the Alex he used to be, or at least some semblance of him.

A few weeks ago, my parents, Robert, Alex, and I decided to have a confrontation with Melanie. She was still not making any progress and continued to blame other people for her mistakes. We each took turns saying how much her behaviour hurt us or affected us and suggested that she see a therapist. At first, she seemed surprised at some of the things we said, but she eventually realized that we were right. She began to see Dr. Greene and now she was doing much better. She found that she might never recover from losing her son, but she had to move on, otherwise she might lose the other one. After months of misery, things were finally getting better. Finally.

_While you're sitting around thinking 'bout what you can't change  
And worrying about all the wrong things  
Time's flying by, moving so fast  
__You better make it count 'cause you can't get it back_

Sometimes that mountain you've been climbing  
Is just a grain of sand  
And what you've been out there searching for forever  
Is in your hands

Oh, and when you figure out  
Love is all that matters after all  
It sure makes everything else  
Seem so small

I groaned as "So Small" by Carrie Underwood began to play and smacked the snooze button on my alarm clock on a Friday at the beginning of February. Five minutes later, I heard a knock at my door and unwillingly opened my eyes.

"Come in," I groaned. My mom burst into my room.

"Look outside!" she exclaimed happily.

"What's happening?"

"See for yourself."

I slowly got out of bed, walked over to the window, and opened the curtains, which were only closed when I was asleep or changing. When I looked out, all I saw was white.

"OH MY GOD, IT'S SNOWING!" I screamed, jumping up and down. I always got really excited when it snowed.

My mother laughed and said, "I know and I just checked the news. You have a snow day!"

"Yay!" I ran over and gave her a hug. It really was ridiculous how excited I was. "I'm going to call Alex." My mom left the room and shut the door behind her as I grabbed my cell phone and excitedly dialed Alex's number. We decided not to stay together last night because we both had a lot of work to do and we usually distracted each other when it came to homework unless we needed help with something.

"Hello," came his groggy voice from the other end. I must have woken him up.

"Hey yourself," I responded.

"What's up? Why are you calling me so early?"

"Open up that curtain and you'll see."

I looked across and saw a hand appear and pull the curtain away. He looked over at me in amazement.

"OH MY GOD, IT'S SNOWING!" he screamed and I laughed.

"Yup, that was my reaction too. My mom just came in and told me we have a snow day!"

"Awesome! You know what this means, right?"

"No, what does it means?"

"Snowball fight!"

"Oh crap." When it came to snowball fights, I was usually the one on the receiving end, if you know what I mean.

"Yeah, that's right. You'd better watch your back. Don't think I forgot about last year." Jack, Rian, Zack, and Alex teamed up against me and pummelled me to the ground with snowballs. Then, they made a giant pile of snow and picked me up and dropped me in it. What great friends I have.

"This year, it's going to be different."

"What makes you think that?"

"Because I will threaten Jack, Rian, and Zack to be on my side and then you'll be the one getting pummelled."

"Well, we'll just have to see about that."

"We will."

"Is that a challenge?"

"You bet it is! You call Zack and Rian and I'll call Jack. Meet me on my front lawn in an hour."

"It's on and will do," he said and then he hung up the phone.

I called Jack and then began to get ready. It was obviously going to be really cold, so I put on some thermals and wore many layers of clothes on top in addition to a winter coat and heavy snow boots. By the end, I looked like a giant Eskimo with gloves, a hat, and a scarf. I decided to leave my cell phone inside because I did not want it to get all wet in the snow.  
As soon as I stepped off my front porch an hour later, a cold, wet snowball came hurling through the air aimed straight for my head. I ducked as I watched it hit the ground behind me.

"Damn it! I missed!" I heard Alex say from behind a bush.

"Dude, your aim sucks!" said Jack, who must have been right beside Alex.

"It's not my fault she ducked!"

"You should have gone for her stomach or something. That way, even if she ducks, you have a better chance of hitting her."

"You do realize I can hear every word you guys are saying, right?" I laughed.

All of a sudden, both boys appeared from behind the bush and began chasing and throwing snowballs at me. I screamed as I ran for cover. I finally got far enough ahead that I ran behind a tree, which gave me enough time to gather up some snow to turn into snowballs. When I peered around the tree, I saw that they had stopped running, so I began pelting snowballs at them as fast as I could. To my surprise, they actually hit their targets.

"Oh, that's it," Alex said after he got hit. "You're going down now." He came at me with a snowball in his right hand. I turned away from him and ran for my life. Too bad I was a slow runner. In almost no time at all, he tackled me to the ground and crashed the freezing snowball to my face.

"Alex, you asshole," I said angrily sputtering from the snow that landed in my mouth, yet laughing at the same time.

"What? You deserved it," he laughed. He was sitting on my thighs. He turned around to look at Jack, who was sitting about twenty feet away from us and laughing his ass off. "Hey, Jack, come over here and help me bury Taylor!"

Jack got up and started walking toward us, but then I started yelling at him. "Jack Bassam Barakat, you stay where you are or I swear I won't be your best friend anymore!"

He stopped to consider what I had just said, but then he decided I wasn't being serious and continued to walk until he reached our side.

"Good boy," Alex said in an approving tone.

"What is he, your pet?" I asked.

"Woof," Jack answered.

"All right, now let's do this," Alex said. He continued to sit on me as he threw snow across my chest and arms. Jack joined in and pretty soon the only parts of my body that weren't covered in snow were my head and where Alex was sitting. If I tried to move, they would just pile more on, so I learned to stay still.

"Jack, go knock on my door and tell my mom to grab my digital camera. It's on my night stand. We need a picture of this!"

"Alex, I hate you!" I said with all the hatred I could manage. I was getting really cold and wet and I was afraid of becoming hypothermic from being buried in the snow for so long.

"Liar. You know you love me," he said smiling sweetly at me. He didn't know just how true that statement was. I stuck my tongue out at him and he just laughed even more.

"I can't believe you did this to me," I pouted. "I can't even feel my legs anymore because you're sitting on them."

"We just have to wait for Jack to take the lovely picture of you and then I will let you up."

"You better, otherwise I'm going to tell on you," I threatened.

"Aw, does wittle Taylor need to go back to kindergarten?" he joked.

Jack finally came running back with the camera. "Smile!" he said as he held the camera up in front of his eyes and took the picture. I looked angrily at the camera as Alex smiled delightedly like a five year-old on Christmas.

"Ok, we took the damn picture; now get the hell off me!" I said a few seconds later.

Alex laughed as he lifted himself off me and then offered me a hand so that I could get up. My legs gave out from being stiff for so long, but Alex and Jack caught me before I could fall and helped me brush off the snow all over my body. They helped me walk to my front door since my legs were tingling because they fell asleep under Alex's weight.

"I'm going to go in and get a nice warm shower because I'm freezing. I'll call you guys when I'm ready to meet up again," I sad a few minutes later after I had finally regained all the feeling in my legs.

"Ok we'll probably do the same thing," said Alex. 'Jack, you can borrow some of my clothes if you need to." Jack nodded.

"I'll see you guys soon," I said as I walked into my house and shut the front door.

~~~~~~~~~

_Ok, I'm ready,_ I texted Alex a half an hour later. _You guys can come over here. I don't feel like getting all __bundled up again and my legs still feel kind of weird._

_Be there in a minute,_ responded Alex.

I decided to time them just to bust their chops, but, to my dismay, it took them exactly one minute to get here. They walked in and found me sitting by the fireplace in the living room at the front of the house. "What are you doing?" I asked as they began to sit down.

"Can't we sit?" Jack asked confused.

I shook my head. "Nope, not unless you make me a fire and some hot chocolate. You owe me that much after you buried me alive before. Now, get to it, boys. You owe me that much. Shoo." I held up my hand and waved them away. They both stared at me with surprised looks on their faces. "You think I'm kidding?" I asked, giving them the death stare.

"Where are the logs?" Alex asked, not daring to argue with me. Sometimes, he was smarter than he looked.

"Over there next to the fireplace," I pointed.

It proved to be highly amusing watching Alex and Jack try to figure out how to make a fire. Eventually, Alex had to call his father to ask him how to do it. Fifteen minutes later, we all sat in front of a crackling fire with mugs of hot chocolate in our hands.

"So where are Rian and Zack? Didn't you invite them?" I asked Alex.

"Yeah, of course I did. They couldn't drive here because the roads were too slippery," responded Alex.

"Yeah and I walked since you guys are close to me," said Jack.

"Gotcha."

"It sucks that they had to miss out on all our fun earlier," Jack whined. "We would have buried you a lot faster with two more sets of hands. At least we'll be able to show them the awesome pictures though." He perked up at his last thought and I smacked him on the arm. "Ow!" he said, cradling his arm to his body and pouting at me.

"That's what you get for ignoring my threat and burying me against my will and then taking a picture of it! I guess you aren't my best friend anymore." I turned away from him.

"Oh, come on, T. Swizzle, you know you can't resist the awesomeness of your Barakuda for very long."

"Keep telling yourself that," I huffed.

Jack came around to face me, looked me straight in the eye and gave me the best puppy dog face he could manage. "Taylor, I want to be your best friend forever and ever and ever. Please forgive me. I promise to never bury you in snow and then take a picture of it ever again." He turned his lip down as I considered what he just said and I couldn't help but laugh.

"Ugh, damn it, I really can't stay mad at you for long, can I?" I laughed. Jack shook his head. "All right, you're forgiven."

"Yay!" Jack jumped up and gave me a hug. It's a good thing I had put down my hot chocolate a moment before.

Alex's phone started to vibrate, so he took it out of his pocket.

"Should I answer this?" he asked. "I don't recognize the number."

"You might as well," I said. "Maybe it's someone you know calling from a different number."

He looked at his phone for a second and then shrugged and answered it, "Hello?" There was a pause as he listened to the other person's voice. "Yes, this is Alex Gaskarth. Who am I speaking with?" There was another pause and his eyes grew wide as he heard what the other person was saying. "Oh man, are you serious?" He put his hand up to his forehead and his mouth fell open in surprise. He ran to get a pen and paper and then came back. Jack and I just turned to each other with mystified looks on our faces. "That's amazing! Thank you so much! We'll be there!" He hung up the phone and sat back down on the couch with a bewildered look on his face. "Oh. My. God," he said breathlessly.

"Who was that?" Jack and I asked at the same time.

"That," said Alex "was the manager of Hopeless Records, a new record label. They heard our music online and they're interested! They want to meet up with us next week to talk about a record contract."

"Holy fucking shit, are you serious?" Jack asked, his mouth hanging open. Alex nodded. "Whoa...I don't even know what to say right now."

"You guys, this is huge!" I said excitedly. "After all that hard work, you are finally going to get signed! I'm so proud of you!" I jumped up and gave each boy a hug.

"Wait a second, why aren't you more surprised by this news?" asked Alex suspiciously.

"What do you mean? You guys are talented, so it doesn't surprise me that a label would want to sign you."

"No, that's not it," he said scrutinizing my expression. "You did something, I know it. Taylor, what did you do?"

"Ok, well I might have stumbled upon this website that just so happened to mention new record labels and I might have accidentally sent them some of your music. It was bound to happen sooner or later; I just wanted to speed along the process."

Both boys gave me the biggest smiles they could muster. "Taylor, you're amazing!" Alex said as he lifted me off my feet and spun me around.

"I am pretty amazing, aren't I?" I joked as he put me down.

"This is so surreal, all of it," he said. "I still can't believe it."

"I can," I stated. "You guys sound awesome. Any record label would be lucky to have you."

"Thanks, Tay," said Jack. "I'm going to go call Zack and Rian and tell them the news and then demand that they get their asses over here to celebrate. Snow be damned!"

"How are you feeling, rock star?" I asked after Jack left the room.

"Overwhelmed, but happy. This is actually the happiest I have ever felt. I can't even describe it."

"I'm happy for you."

"Seriously, Taylor, thank you so much for doing this for us. I can't even begin to tell you how much this means."

I smiled at him. "It was all worth it then."

"What about you? Did you send any of your own music in?"

"Not yet. I'm still trying to work up the courage."

"Well, we're going to have to work on that because the world deserves to hear your talent and I refuse to let you get away with not using it. Besides, how are you going to tour with us if you don't have a label?"

"Do you really mean that?"

"Of course I do! I want you with me on our first tour. I want it to be just like every other concert we have ever performed at together. It has always been the Alex and Taylor show and it will always be the Alex and Taylor show."

"Well, technically it's the All Time Low and Taylor show, but I get your point. It would be so amazing if we could tour together. We'd see the world."

"It'd be like a dream come true," agreed Alex.

Jack came back into the room and announced that Rian and Zack had freaked out just as much as they did and said they would be right over. Ten minutes later, the doorbell rang and Jack answered in. The three boys filed into the living room. I went into the wine cabinet and took out a bottle of red wine and five glasses. Usually, I didn't steal alcohol from my parents, but this was a special occasion. I filled the wine glasses and served them.

"I would like to propose a toast," Jack said holding up his glass. Everyone else followed suit. "Here's to dreams coming true."

"And to the people that make those dreams come true," Alex said looking straight at me and smiling. I felt my stomach flutter.

Everyone clinked their glasses together. The rest of the night was spent in celebration. Jack, Zack, and Rian crashed at my house that night because they were too drunk to go home and Alex just slept in my room with me like always. It turned out to be quite an interesting snow day.

**Chapter 20: Anything Can Happen In A New York Minute**

_Taylor's P.O.V._

The next week passed smoothly and nothing of major consequence happened. Anyone could easily see how nervous the boys were for their meeting. Whenever we talked about it, Alex would start pacing, Rian would anxiously tap his hands against the table or anything else he could find, Jack wouldn't shut up, and Zack went for more runs than usual to calm his nerves.

The following Monday, I met Alex at his house before school. We had decided to continue our carpool because we both missed it and it was my turn to pick him up.

"Guess what?" he said brightly as he got in and threw his backpack in the back seat.

"What?" I asked as I pulled away from his house.

"Louis from Hopeless Records called me again this morning and told me that our meeting will be in New York City on Valentine's Day. We'll be meeting them in an actual recording studio. They said if everything goes right, we could experiment with some of the recording equipment and maybe start recording a song!"

"That's awesome!"

"Wait, there's more. I want you to come with us."

"Oh, Alex, I don't know..."

"Come on, Taylor. You were the one that made this possible for us. I really want you to be there. Besides, Rian said he's going to ask Kara to come too, so you won't be the only girl and you won't be alone in case you aren't allowed into the meeting. I mean, if you have special plans for Valentine's Day or something, I guess that's cool, but I want you to come."

"I still have to ask my parents though."

"Too late. I already talked to them and they said it's fine."

"How did you talk to them so fast if the guy just called you this morning?"

"I called them right after I talked to him. You were still getting ready."

"You're pretty sneaky, Garth."

He shrugged. "Nah, I just know you too well, that's all. So will you come?"

"I guess I don't really have a choice, do I?" I laughed. "Of course I'll come. Besides, how can I pass up a trip to my favourite city?"

"Yes!" he cheered pumping his fist in the air. "This is going to be amazing."

"Yes," I agreed. "Yes, it is."

It seemed like it took forever for Sunday arrive, but it was finally here. We decided it would be cheapest to just take a bus from Baltimore to New York City. The bus left at 7:00AM and it would take about four hours to get into the city. We planned to get there by 11 and then grab some lunch before their meeting at 1:00.

Zack and Jack found a way to turn their seats around on the bus, so they sat facing me and Alex, while Rian and Kara sat across the aisle. As soon as the bus left the station, we all fell asleep because it was too early for us. Somehow, my head ended up on Alex's shoulder. He turned out to be a pretty comfortable pillow.

I woke up about three hours later when the guys started talking. Apparently, Jack had forgotten how to whisper.

"Ssshhh, Jack, be quiet, she's trying to sleep," said Alex, motioning to me.

"No, it's ok, I'm awake now," I sighed. "Jack, didn't anyone ever teach you to be quiet when someone else is trying to sleep?"

"Nope, not when I'm this nervous." As he said that, he began to tap his foot anxiously.

"Everything will be fine," I replied. "You guys will be great, you'll see."

Jack shook his head. "You're only saying that because you're biased. You're supposed to say that because we're your best friends."

"It's true that you guys are my best friends, but I promise you that I sincerely think you guys will do great. Any record company would be lucky to sign you. You've got the whole package."

"And what does this quote unquote 'package' consist of?" wondered Alex.

"Well, you've got the talent, the looks, the brains, or at least sometimes, and the personalities."

"Oh, so we've got the 'looks', do we?" Alex asked raising an eyebrow and Jack whistled.

Oh shit, word vomit. I felt my face grow hot as I blushed a deep red. There was no way they were going to let me get away with this.

"Taylor, I always knew you thought we were hot, but you were never so out there about it before," Zack teased.

"Will you guys just shut up about it," I demanded trying not to laugh.

"Nope, you said you think we're hot," responded Jack. "My self confidence has been raised to new heights."

"Yeah, Jack needs all the compliments he can get," said Alex. "It's not very often that girls tell him he's hot. His hair is so long that they think he's one of them."

"Asshole," said Jack as he kicked Alex in the leg.

"What? I was just kidding," Alex said as he lifted his leg up on the seat before Jack could kick him again. "You get hit on almost as much as I do when we go out. Besides, apparently Taylor thinks you're hot, so nothing else should matter."

"Ok, I think I'm going to go hide under a rock and die now. I'll see you in my next life," I said as I got up and trudged off to the small bathroom in the back of the bus.

An hour later, we finally arrived into the city. Since we still had about two hours to kill, we decided to find somewhere to grab lunch before the boys met up with record executives. All six of us stepped out of the bus into Times Square and immediately nearly got run over by all the tourists. Of course, I brought my camera, so I took pictures of a whole bunch of things, including Alex and Jack pretending to jerk off a miniature statue of liberty while passer-by gave them strange looks. We decided to eat at a Starbucks near the recording studio, which probably was not such a good idea. Nervous Jack+caffeine=very bad idea. By the end of lunch, he could barely sit still.

"Let's go, let's go, let's go!" he urged bouncing around in his seat.

"Ok, Crazy, we're going, we're going," I said as everyone got up from the table after we paid the bill.

We were going to shop around a little bit because we were early for the appointment, but we eventually decided it would be better to just go straight there considering Jack was about to have a heart attack if he had to wait any longer. They were not ready for us when we got there, so we had to wait outside the studio for a little while. Kara and I sat on the steps while all the boys picked up their nervous habits again. Alex started pacing back and forth, Rian was tapping against anything he could find, Zack was sitting away from everyone sullenly, and Jack was running off at the mouth.

"I'm so nervous, I'm so nervous, I'm so nervous," he said. "We can't mess up, we can't mess up, we can't mess up! What's the opening chord for 'Dear Maria' again? Shit, shit, shit I can't remember it!" Each time he said "shit", he stomped his foot.

"Ok, everyone just stop!" I exploded standing up. "You guys will be fine, now stop whatever it is you are doing. I'm sorry if I sound mean, but you're driving me insane and you're psyching yourselves out too much! You guys know your music like the back of your hand."

"I can't help it," Jack responded. "You know how I get when I'm nervous. This is my dream and I don't want to screw it up." He grabbed the top of his hair and nearly ripped it out. "Fuck! What is that chord?"

"It's Bm, now would you please relax? You're starting to scare me," I responded putting a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Yeah, we don't want to go to any hospitals on this trip," joked Kara.

"Now everyone just sit down by Kara and I and try to relax," I demanded. They all slowly same toward us. "There," I said once they all sat down. "Now we can wait patiently."

Alex chuckled quietly. "This group doesn't know the meaning of patience."

"Which is why we'll talk about something else. What do you guys want to do after this?" I asked.

"One word," responded Kara. "Shopping." At this, Zack made a noise at the back of his throat. "What?" she said. "Oh come on, Zack! We're in New York City. Of course we have to go shopping! I'm sure even you will find something you want."

"Fine, I'll go, but you guys owe me," he responded. Zack could not stand shopping, but no one else seemed to really mind it.

Someone came out to tell us that the band needed to be ready to play in five minutes, so all their nervous habits started up until I was able to calm them down again.

"Ok, I think this calls for a group hug. Everyone get over here and join me." Everyone came toward me and we grabbed onto each other for a group hug. Alex made sure he was the only one standing next to me apart from Kara.

"You guys are going to be awesome, I can feel it," I said. "Each and every performance that we have done together has blown me away. You get better and better each time I hear you."

"I completely agree," chimed in Kara. "You guys are so amazing to see live. I'd hate to deprive other people of the opportunity to see you because the world would really be missing out. Just pretend those record people are Taylor, me, and your families. Don't make this out to be such a different performance than all your others. You'll do great, I know it."

"And don't forget that we love you and we're rooting for you," I added.

"Thanks, girls," said Alex. "Now, everyone put a hand in and shout 'All Time Low' on the count of three. Ready? One, two, three!"

"ALL TIME LOW!" we shouted as our hands flew in the air. The boys went inside with a new enthusiasm from our words. Before Alex left, I grabbed his shoulder and took him into my arms for a comforting hug.

"You will be amazing, I guarantee it," I whispered in his ear. "Your voice is the thing that calms me down when I'm upset, I hope you know that. Kara and I will be waiting for you right here when you guys get back, I promise."

"Thanks, Tay. That means a lot." He kissed my forehead and I felt my heart skip a beat.

"Go get 'em, Tiger!" I said, clapping him on the back. He smiled at me and turned around and followed the other boys into the building. Kara and I sat back down on the steps to wait because we were not allowed into the studio.

"Can I ask you something?" she said.

"You just did," I joked, "but go ahead."

"Do you still like Alex?"

I took a deep breath and hesitated before answering her. "Yes," I finally said. "Yes, I do. I'm trying not to, but it's really hard. He's so charming, but it sucks to see him flirting with other girls."

She looked at me with sympathy in her eyes. "I can imagine. I would feel awful if I ever saw Rian with another girl."

"Yeah, plus, Alex is still in therapy and stuff like that and he's still getting over Katelyn cheating and Eric's death, so I don't think this would be the best time for a relationship for him. I'm trying my best to respect that, but, at the same time, all I want is to be with him."

"He seems like he has changed though thankfully. He might be working toward getting to a point where he'd be ready for a relationship with you."

"What makes you say that?"

"I noticed the way he made sure to be standing next to you when we had our group hug and how he kissed your forehead before he went inside. I can't say for sure that he likes you, but it's obvious that you are the most important person to him. He was like Katelyn's slave, but, with you, he's a lot more himself."

"Do you really think so?" I asked skeptically.

"Ever since you guys made up from that fight you had, from what I see, he has been treating you a little bit differently. It's almost as if not talking to you for all that time made him realize just how important you are to him. Now he at least appreciates you a little more because he knows what it's like to be without you."

"I hope you're right. I'm just trying not to get my hopes up about anything because I'm afraid the next time I get my heart broken will be worse than the last one was."

"How do you know there will be a next time?"

"I don't know, but I can't afford to let myself be so vulnerable around him again because I don't know if I would be able to go through all that again and still be around him. I told him how I felt last time and now it's his turn to tell me if his feelings change."

"I don't blame you. I just don't think you should completely give up hope just yet," she responded.

"To be honest, I'm just trying my hardest not to think about it because, if I think about it, I'm going to want it and, if I want it, that will make it harder for me to be around him. It would be really nice if he finally had the same feelings for me, but I don't want to read too much into things."

"Understandable. Boys are so complicated sometimes."

"I know and it really annoys me. They say that we are hard to deal with, but they aren't exactly a piece of cake either!"

"I know! Rian got so mad the other night when I wanted to go out with some people because he thinks that means that I don't want to see him. Can't I just have one night out alone with my friends?"

"Ugh that's so annoying when they do that. They just expect you to hang out with them and they don't think they have to ask or let you know."

Our conversation continued like that for awhile. It was nice to have a girl to talk to about all my problems. Kara and I had been friends ever since freshman year of high school when Rian introduced her to us and I could not have asked for a better friend. She was the girl I went to if I had an issue that I could only talk about with girls and we had so much in common since we were both so close to the band. We did the normal girl activities like going shopping together and having sleepovers on weekends, even though we were in high school. She was almost like the sister I never had. She always understood me and never doubted my judgment and she was always there when I needed her. Even though we did not hang out all the time, we knew we could always turn to each other.

The boys finally came bounding out the door a little while later and Jack nearly hopped on my back in pure excitement.

"'What happened?" Kara and I asked at the same time. We looked at each other and laughed.

"We got it!" cheered Alex. "We did it! We are now officially signed to Hopeless Records!"

"Oh my God, that's amazing!" I said jumping up to give him a hug. "See, I knew you guys could do it!"

"It was so awesome. I can't even explain the bliss I'm in right now."

"Yeah, I can't believe this. Everything is finally happening for us. All that hard work has paid off. Now, I'm going to get lots and lots of money for doing something I love. Life is awesome," grinned Jack.

Kara and I each went around giving everyone congratulatory hugs.

"I swear, I feel like this is one of the best days of my life," said Rian. A smile was plastered on each of our faces and we couldn't seem to stop even if we wanted to.

We started walking on the street and decided to head back towards Times Square to take more pictures and go shopping. Kara saw a store she wanted to go in before, so we went back so that she could look in it. Everyone, even Zack, found something to try on at the store besides Alex and me. Jack and Kara both always took forever with everything, so Alex and I decided to take a walk and have them call us when they were done. We decided to walk towards Central Park.

"So tell me about the meeting," I said as we walked. "How did it go?"

"It was like more than I could have ever hoped for. We all played our hearts out and, by the time we were done, they were already making negotiations to sign us."

"I'm so proud of you guys. That's amazing. Did they let you use the recording equipment?"

"Yeah they let us play around with it just to get used to it. We recorded a part of 'Dear Maria' and then went back and listened to it and it was just so weird."

"What do you mean?"

"It was weird to hear my voice recorded like that, surreal actually."

"I can understand that. It was a new experience."

We walked through the crowds of tourists and finally reached the entrance of Central Park. The hot dog stands and horse carriages stood off to the side with their leaders. I looked at them with longing, but I knew that they were too much money. How nice it would be to feel like Cinderella for a day...

In true tourist fashion, Alex and I got a picture together under the sign for Central Park and then entered the park together. Central Park was one of my favorite places to be. Everything about it was beautiful from the skating rink to the fountains to the pretty bridges and trees with snow on them. There was always something new to see because it was such a big place. If I lived in New York, I would come here every day and never get sick of it.

You could always find a band playing or hear some kind of music playing throughout the park. If they were really good, people would crowd around them and put money in their guitar cases. As their crowd grew, so did their energy. They were always just people trying to get their music out there and play for the world in the bright sunlight. In a way, I was jealous of them; they were playing just to play and having the time of their lives. They always made me wish I could join in.

"I love this," I said as we walked. "Everything is so beautiful here and everyone is so happy that it's contagious."

"Yeah I know what you mean. It's like a fat kid eating his favorite chocolate cake. He just can't seem to get enough of it, no matter how much he eats. He could eat it until he throws up, but then he'll still want more."

"Not exactly the image I wanted to have in my head, but sure."

He chuckled. "Sorry, I couldn't help it."

"It's ok, I'm used to it."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you are a vulgar human being who explains things in graphic detail. I don't want to associate Central Park with fat kids and cake."

"When do I ever do that?"

"Well, there was that one time that you told me sex was like sticking a hot dog through a donut hole. It took me awhile to be able to eat hot dogs and donuts again. Then, there was that other time when Jack spilled milk on his crotch and it left a white stain. You practically screamed that it looked like he came in his pants when we were at a very nice restaurant. I almost threw up because it was the milk I was drinking that he spilled on his lap."

"Oh yeah that," he chuckled. "Ok, so maybe I have a vivid imagination. What's so wrong with that?"

"Nothing when you are putting it to good use. Jack has been a bad influence on you. He's made you so much dirtier than you used to be. You were so innocent before you met him."

"Me? Innocent? I used to sneak into my parents room when they weren't there and steal stuff from them or look to see if they were hiding anything. I was in trouble every other day."

"Ok, point taken."

"Why do you think my parents pushed me to hang out with you so much? You were a good influence on me; when I was with you, they knew I wasn't doing anything bad because you wouldn't let me. If anyone was innocent, it was you. You didn't start going to parties or doing anything remotely bad until Jack and Eric forced you to in high school."

"Oh shush! I wasn't that innocent!"

"Taylor, you never got in any real trouble until high school when your parents caught us sneaking out of the house," he said giving me one of those 'are you for real' kind of looks.

"Ok, so maybe I was innocent, but what's so bad about that?"

"Nothing, you're just very pure, that's all. I'm glad you live at least a little more on the edge now though."

We walked in silence for a few minutes just enjoying the beauty of the outside.

"What time is it?" he asked after a few minutes.

I looked at my silver watch. "It's around 3:00PM, why?"

"We're going to have to leave soon because there's somewhere we have to be at 4:30 and it takes forever to get anywhere in New York City."

"Where are we going at 4:30 and why didn't anyone tell me about this before?"

"We have an appointment with Big Machine Records at their studio."

"But, you just signed with Hopeless, so why do you want to meet with another company?"

"The meeting isn't for All Time Low."

"Then what is it for? I'm so confused."

"They want to meet up with you. That's why I basically forced you to come with us"

"Why would they want to meet with me?"

"Because I sent them your demo and they loved it." He gave me a sheepish smirk and watched as my mouth fell open in shock.

"You didn't!" I nearly screamed.

"Of course I did! I meant what I said about wanting to tour with you. The only way that will happen is if you get a contract too. It's all happening for me, so it should be happening for you too."

"I can't believe you did this. Oh my God!" I said as I became fully aware of what all of this meant. My dreams were finally within my reach. All of a sudden, I stopped dead in my tracks. When Alex noticed I wasn't beside him, he came back to me.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Everything. I don't even know what song I'm going to sing. I didn't get to practice at all and I don't have my guitar with me. How am I going to impress them if I mess up every other note?"

"Taylor, you don't even need to practice. You know all of your songs and there's nothing that needs to be changed."

"Yeah, but it has to be amazing if I'm going to get signed."

"You're always amazing. You don't even have to worry about that. You sound good even when you're sick and lose your voice. They're going to love you."

"I hope so."

He put his arm around me and we continued walking. "I know so," he said. "Just sing with your heart. That's all you need. If it makes you feel any better, they said that one person could be in the room with you for moral support while you audition. I will come in with you if you need me to."

That actually made me feel a lot better. No matter what would happen, at least I would know that he was there for me and in my corner. "I'd like that," I said meekly. What song do you think I should sing?"

"That, my dear, is up to you. Maybe pick something that's close to you or represents what is happening in your life right now. Sing a song that means a lot to you."

"Hmm that's a good idea. The funny thing is that I did write a new song pretty recently that I haven't played for you yet. It's called 'A Place In This World'. Maybe I'll use that one."

"As long as you feel comfortable playing it, go for it."

"I don't know how comfortable I am with it, but I hope they will at least like the lyrics." I could feel the strong butterflies fluttering in my stomach as I continued to think about it. "God, I'm so nervous."

"I think I know what will make you feel better," Alex said as we approached an ice cream stand and he stopped. "Nothing like a nice cup of ice cream to calm you down. What do you want? It's my treat."

"Alex, you don't have to."

"But I want to, so just pick something before I pick it for you." 

"Fine. I'll have a vanilla and chocolate twist in a cup. Thank you!"

"There," he said handing it to me once we both got ice cream and sat down on a nearby bench. "Now everything will be fine. You will get the deal and then we'll have a lot to celebrate tonight. I'm excited."

"I hope so."

"Would it make you feel better if you sang with me right now?"

"But, Alex, we don't have anything to back us."

"Yes we do," he said. He nodded to a tree diagonal from us. For some reason, an acoustic guitar was lying there abandoned underneath the tree for anyone to use. I nodded and Alex and I finished my ice cream and walked over to it. I picked it up and looked at it.

"It seems to be in good shape," I said. "I wonder why someone just left it here."

"Maybe he or she wanted to give someone else the opportunity we have now; he or she wanted to spread the gift of music. So what song do you want to sing?"

"Do you know 'I'll Be There?' Mariah Carey and Trey Lorenz did a version of it and I absolutely love it."

"Sure, yeah," he nodded. We walked back to the bench and I sat down and started to play.

**Both: **_You and I must make a pact  
We must bring salvation back  
Where there is love  
I'll be there  
I'll reach out my hand to you  
I'll have faith in all you do  
Just call my name  
And I'll be there _

**Me: **_I'll be there to comfort you  
Build my world of dreams around you  
I'm so glad I found you yeah  
I'll be there with a love so strong  
I'll be your strength  
You know I'll keep holding on_

**Alex **_Let me fill your heart with joy and laughter  
Togetherness, well it's all I'm after  
Just call my name and  
I'll be there  
I'll be there to protect you  
With an unselfish love that respects you  
Just call my name  
And I'll be there_

**Both: **_Chorus:  
I'll be there to comfort you  
Build my world of dreams around you  
You know I'm so glad that I found you  
I'll be there with a love so strong  
I'll be your strength  
You know I'll keep holding on_

**Me: **_See, if you should ever find someone new  
I know she better be good to you  
'Cause if she doesn't then  
I'll be there_

**Alex: **_Don't you know baby yeah yeah  
I'll be there  
I'll be there  
Just call my name and  
I'll be there_

**Both: **_I'll be there, baby  
You know I'll be there  
Just call my name and  
I'll be there  
Just look over your shoulder  
Just call my name and  
I'll be there_

By the time we were done, a large crowd had gathered around us, which could have only met one thing; they liked us enough to actually stop and listen. When I played the last chord, they cheered loudly. Some people even left money at our feet and asked us to play another song, but we couldn't because there was not enough time. I looked at Alex in amazement and he smiled and gave me a one-armed hug in return.

"Are you ready now?" he asked a few minutes later after most of the crowd finally left.

"As ready as I'll ever be," I responded smiling at him. To my surprise, I felt his hand slip into mine like a glove as we got up and began to walk out of the park toward my future.

**Chapter 21; Anything Can Happen In A New York Minute Part Deux**

_Alex's P.O.V._

It was very fitting that today was Valentine's Day. To me, Valentine's Day wasn't just about love, it was about celebrating a relationship that has been through a lot of obstacles. Saying that Taylor and I had been through a lot this past year was like saying the sky was blue. Today marked the one year anniversary of when I first got my heart broken and everything went downhill from there. However, I knew that this time was going to be different. So far, today was better than anything I could have imagined, so who's to say that the rest of the year won't be the same? I felt like, if I lived through the past year, then I could live through almost anything.

Aside from those few months that we didn't talk to each other, Taylor has been one of the only constants in my life. As odd as it sounds, I am almost glad that we didn't talk to each other for a little while. That time when I didn't have her made me realize what I was missing and it taught me not to take her for granted. My life wasn't complete without her. If she was going to make my dreams come true, then I was going to make damn sure that hers did too.

When we finished the song in the park, she looked at me with this amazed look. After all these years, she still seemed surprised that other people thought her voice was beautiful just like I did. There was something so endearing about that look that I just had to have her close to me at that moment, so I put my arm around her and held her close. The smell of honey from her shampoo invaded my nostrils and I took all of her in.

"Are you ready now?" I asked a few minutes later once all the people started to walk away. I looked at my watch and realized that we would have just enough time to get there if we left now.

"As ready as I'll ever be," she responded with a warm smile that lit up her bright blue eyes.

That's when it happened. All of a sudden, my body acted on its own accord. Without thinking, I reached out and slipped my hand into hers as we got up and started to walk to the studio. When our hands connected, I felt an unexplainable electric current surge through my body. It was unlike anything I had ever felt before. Taylor and I slept in the same bed together all of our lives, but holding hands held a certain intimacy that we had never experienced together before. To my surprise, I liked the way it felt; now, we were connected both mentally and physically.

We made our way out of the park and onto the busy street. It became harder and harder to hold onto her hand because people were coming from every possible direction and jostling us, but we still stayed connected. I led her toward the studio as quickly as I could.

"Where is this place?" she screamed through all the street noise.

"It's about three blocks from here. We should be there in about five minutes."

"Oh geez, ok," she responded taking a deep breath. I could feel that her nerves were starting to get the best of her again, so I gave her hand another squeeze as I rushed her along.

"Even if for some reason, you don't get it this time, I know that you will get it soon. I can feel it. This is all going to work out, you'll see," I said turning to look at her.

"I really hope you're right."

"Of course I'm right!"

A few seconds later, my head collided with something very large and very hard.

"Ouch! Fuck!" I screamed, bringing my free hand to my forehead where I had bumped it and I looked in front of me. Since I wasn't watching where I was going, I had walked straight into a "No Loitering" sign.

"Are you o-ok?" Taylor asked, cupping her hand to her mouth trying to hide her laughter.

"No! It hurts," I pouted. She could not control it anymore, so she burst out laughing hysterically. "Stop laughing at me!" I said, trying but failing to pretend to be offended. I couldn't help but laugh at myself.

"Aw does wittle Alex need me to kiss it and make it better for him?" she teased with laughter in her eyes.

"Since you offered, yes, that's exactly what wittle Alex needs," I said calling her bluff.

She stood on her tiptoes, placed her free hand behind my neck, and pulled my head forward so that she could kiss it. When her lips met my forehead, I felt that unexplainable surge of electricity go through my body again. Ironically, it actually did make my head feel a lot better.

"There," she said after she was done. "All better now."

"Thanks," I said giving her my best crooked smile and we continued to walk.

A few minutes later, we finally arrived at the front door to the studio.

"Oh God, I can't do this," she said as she began to pace. Before she got too far, I caught her and put a hand on each of her shoulders and stared her straight in the eyes as if to bore my belief into her.

"Listen to me," I said. "Even if this doesn't work out for some reason, it's not the end of the world. I promise you that I will make damn sure your dreams come true just like you did with mine. If you don't think you can do this for yourself, do it for me and Kara and Jack and Rian and Zack. They all want you to succeed more than anything. Just like me, they know you can do this. Remember what Kara said about how we would be depriving people of good music if we didn't try our best?" She nodded. "Well, the same goes for you. I know you're going to knock 'em dead. Now are you ready to go in and rock the house?" She hesitated and then nodded again, so I took her hand and led her inside.

We were right on time. When we came inside, we found that they were waiting for us in a room next to the studio. We entered the room and two men and one woman dressed professionally stood up to shake our hands. There was a chair with a guitar next to it in the center of the room in front of all the other chairs.

"You must be Taylor," said the first man smiling warmly at the blond girl and shaking her hand. She nodded and smiled back shyly. "We have heard your demo and I must say that I was very impressed. I'm Jeff Gold, the head of Big Machine Records." He motioned to the two people behind him. "And these are my managers, Susan Layman and Jim Castle."

"Very nice to meet all of you," Taylor responded shaking all of their hands and finally finding her voice. "This is my friend Alex. He was the one that sent you my demo."

"Nice to meet you, Alex," Jeff said, reaching out and shaking my hand.

"Likewise."

"Now, I hate to rush, but I have a meeting in about half an hour, so, Taylor, are you ready for us?"

"Yeah, I think so." 

"Great. We left you a guitar, so it's all yours. Alex, make yourself at home."

"Thanks," I said. I pulled a chair over to the corner so that Taylor could still see me and I wasn't right in her face.

She picked up the guitar and slowly sat down and faced everyone. "This song is called 'A Place In This World'. I just wrote it pretty recently and it's very personal to me, so I hope you enjoy it." She started to play the first few chords of the song and then her beautiful voice filled the room with sound.

_I __don't know what I want, so don't ask me  
Cause I'm still trying to figure it out  
Don't know what's down this road, I'm just walking  
Trying to see through the rain coming down  
Even though I'm not the only one  
Who feels the way I do_

[Chorus:]

I'm alone, on my own, and that's all I know  
I'll be strong, I'll be wrong, oh but life goes on  
I'm just a girl, trying to find a place in  
This world

Got the radio on, my old blue jeans  
And I'm wearing my heart on my sleeve  
Feeling lucky today, got the sunshine  
Could you tell me what more do I need  
And tomorrow's just a mystery, oh yeah  
But that's ok

[Repeat Chorus]

Maybe I'm just a girl on a mission  
But I'm ready to fly

[Repeat Chorus]

I watched her as she sang her heart out and I honestly don't think I have seen anything more beautiful. Watching her play was like physically seeing the beauty of poetry with my own eyes. Her face showed such passion and emotion and she never sounded better. She did not look up at anyone while she was singing; it was as if it was just her with her guitar and that's the way she preferred it. The performance was just so intimate and peaceful that I felt like I was invading her thoughts by listening to this song.

I looked around and noticed that everyone else was staring at her in awe. They must have been almost as blown away by her as I was. She finished the song and waited expectantly.

"Well," Jeff said letting out a long breath. "That was wonderful Taylor, really well done."

"Thank you," she said smiling at him.

"Let me just confer with my colleagues and we will get back to you in about five minutes."

"Ok."

The three executives left the room and, when the door shut, Taylor immediately came over to me. "How did I do?" she asked excitedly.

"You were amazing," I said simply.

"But, then why do they need to talk about it?"

"It's just a formality at this point. The manager just needs to make sure that it's ok if he signs you. I saw the way they watched you when you were performing. They had these amazed looks on their faces. There's no way that they are going to let you slip through their fingers, trust me."

"You really think so?"

She turned around at the sound of the door opening and all three executives filed back into the room.

"So what's the verdict?" she asked nervously.

"Your performance was mind blowing and we can't wait to see more of that coming from you. We are very pleased to offer you a contract with Big Machine Records because we want you on our team. Your voice and your music is too good to go unnoticed," smiled Jeff.

Taylor had a dumbfounded look on her face. "Uhm, c-can you say that again?" she asked slowly.

"What I said was welcome to Big Machine Records!" exclaimed Jeff. "You did it!"

"Oh my God," she responded breathlessly. "Oh my God..." It seemed that she was trying her hardest to hold back tears.

"So what do you say?" asked Jeff. "Will you accept our deal?"

"Yes, yes, a million times yes!" Once she got over the initial shock, her face became exuberant. "Thank you so much!"

"We're glad to have you with us," responded Jeff holding out his hand to Taylor to seal the deal. She shook it immediately.

Susan handed Taylor a of paper and a pen and said, "As soon as you sign this, you will officially be a part of Big Machine Records." Taylor quickly looked it over and scrawled her name at the bottom of the contract. "Congratulations and welcome to the label," said Susan once Taylor had finished. "Hopefully we can get you in to lay down some tracks very soon. We are looking forward to working with you."

"Likewise."

"Ok, well it's time for my meeting," said Jeff. "Taylor, it was very nice meeting you and I'm looking forward to seeing you back here again and hearing some more of your wonderful music. We'll see you soon."

"Thank you so much. I honestly can't thank you enough."

"No, thank you for choosing us. You're going to do very well. But, if you really want to thank someone, you should thank your best friend over there. We wouldn't have heard you without him."

"Oh, trust me, I will definitely be thanking him plenty later."

"Please do. Feel free to look around the studio. As I have said, it was nice meeting you both and we will talk again. Goodbye for now."

We each said goodbye and watched as the three of them left the room again. As soon as the door closed, Taylor ran and jumped into my arms. Holding her there felt so right; she fit.

"You did it!" I screamed happily with one hand holding her up and the other on the back of her head. "I knew you could do it!"

"I-I can't believe this," she said. Tears began to well up in her eyes. "A-Alex, thank you so much for everything. I mean it."

I shrugged even though she was still in my arms. "I figured that I kind of owed you a favor anyway, considering you did the same thing for me. And, again, I wasn't going to go on tour without you, so that would have been a pretty big problem if you didn't have a deal too."

"You're the best, you know that?" She smiled tenderly at me.

"Nah, I'm nothing without you, babe."

Her smile grew even wider if that was possible and I found myself closing my eyes and leaning my head toward hers. She began to do the same thing, but then she seemed to realize what was happening and pulled away. I slowly and unwillingly opened my eyes again.

"Uhm, we should actually probably get back to everyone else," she said turning a tender moment into an awkward situation for both of us. "We have been gone for awhile and they are probably wondering where we are."

"Yeah, I guess you're right," I said putting her down. She grabbed her stuff and we walked out of the building.

Once we were on the street again, I took out my cell phone and saw that I had three texts and a missed call all from Jack. I guess I forgot to tell them where we were headed. I called him back and he immediately began yelling at me and saying how he thought Taylor and I had been kidnapped or murdered. Once all the yelling was done, he told us to meet everyone in Rockefeller Center for some sunset ice skating.

When I told Taylor the plans, she rolled her eyes. "Oh great," she said. "I suck at ice skating. You're going to have to hold me up so that I don't fall."

I chuckled. "I have absolutely no problem doing that. You are in good hands."

"Ok, I'll take your word for it. Don't let me down."

"I'll try my best not to."

A few minutes later, we arrived at the skating rink to find that everyone was already there. The rink was crowded with people skating. It was extremely cold out, so everyone was bundled up in thick coats and scarves, gloves, and hats. There were mostly families, but I definitely saw a lot of couples skating and holding hands and found myself wishing Taylor and I would do that too as soon as possible.

"Thank God," Kara breathed. "Where the hell did you guys go? We were so worried?"

I turned to Taylor and said, "I think I'll let you tell this one."

"Ok well we went to Central Park like we told you. While we were walking around, Alex told me that he had scored me an audition with Big Machine Records, but the catch was that the audition was today. Naturally, I freaked out a little bit, but then he calmed me down and we sang a duet together in the middle of the park which was really fun. After that, we went to the audition and now we're here."

"Tay, you left out the most important part!" scolded Jack. "How did you do at the audition?"

"She got the deal, of course," I answered for her.

Everyone cheered and Jack did this weird little jump in the air.

"You know what this means, don't you?" he asked.

"That I can tour with you and we can all become famous together?" asked Taylor.

"Well, yeah, that too, but it means that this calls for a celebration."

"Hell yeah it does," agreed Rian.

"And with a celebration must come lots and lots of booze," said Jack excitedly. You could almost see the wheels turning in his head when he was coming up with ideas.

"But, Jack, we can't. We all have school tomorrow," responded Taylor.

"Fuck school. We can all just get so drunk that we have hangovers tomorrow. That way, we can stay home and we won't even have to fake being sick because we really will be."

"Uhm, no thanks," said Kara disgustedly. "I would rather not purposely make myself sick. That would definitely ruin the celebration for me."

Jack's face fell. "But, then how are we going to celebrate?" he whined.

"Believe it or not, Barakuda, there are ways to celebrate without getting drunk," said Taylor.

'Yeah, but that's no fun."

"Why don't we just throw a big party next weekend? Rian, didn't you say your parents are going to be away that weekend anyway?"

"Yeah we can do it at my house just as long as it doesn't get too big. That sounds good. Is that cool with everyone else?"

There was a unanimous yes. Since everyone was here, we made our way over to the rink and rented skates. When we stepped out onto the ice, Taylor immediately started to slip, so she grabbed onto my shoulder. I laughed and put my hand on her side to hold her up.

"Stop laughing at me!" she said. "I haven't done this since like sixth grade."

"That's pretty obvious," I teased.

'Hey! Shut up! You're mean," she pouted.

"I'm sorry, but I can't help it. It's just too easy to make fun of you."

"Whatever," she said, rolling her eyes.

I spent the next few minutes trying to teach her how to skate, but she kept on slipping.

"Ok, ok I think I got it now. You can let me go now," she said after the millionth try.

"Are you sure?" I asked skeptically.

"Yeah. You go over there and I'll skate to you." She pointed to where she wanted me to go, so I went. She came skating at me in the speed of light and I swear I saw my life flash before my eyes, but then she stopped short, splattering ice all over me. She took a second to look at the damage she had caused and then she burst out laughing. My mouth dropped open.

"You little brat!" I exclaimed spitting some ice out of my mouth. "You did that on purpose!" When I said that, she just laughed harder, which meant that I was right. "Oh it's on now. You better watch out. I'm going to get you back for that," I said getting ready to do the same thing to her.

"No!" she screamed and she skated away from me as fast as she could and I chased her for about ten minutes, both of us laughing the whole time. At one point, she even tried to use Jack to hide behind, but that didn't work because Jack kept falling. When I finally caught up to her, I wrapped my arms around her waist and started tickling her. I told her I wouldn't stop until she apologized.

"Ok, ok!" she laughed breathlessly after she had been tickled for awhile. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?" I asked still tickling her.

"I'm s-sorry for throwing ice a-at you," she laughed.

"You better be," I said. I kept to my word and let her go, even though I didn't want to.

"Ah I can breath again!" she cheered.

"That's what you get for playing a trick on me."

"I'll have to be better at it next time."

"Who said there's going to be a next time?"

"There's always a next time."

"Now who's the one that's being mean?"

"Ok, I'm sorry. I promise not to play a trick on you for the rest of the night. How does that sound?"

I pretended to think about it. "I think I can live with that."

"Good," she said smiling and grabbing my hand as we skated. I could definitely get used to this.

**Chapter 22: Fallin' For You**

_Taylor's P.O.V._

I decided to stay true to my word. After all, Alex did help me get a record deal. The least I could do was refrain from tricking him, even though it wasn't any fun.

The day could not get any better. There was not a cloud in the sky, I was feeling light as a feather, and I have never felt more in love than right now. Lately, Alex has been so amazing to me that it was hard not to be head over heals for him. I mean, he took me to New York City and made all my dreams come true on Valentine's Day! And then he told me that he wants me to come on tour with him! What more could I want?

A relationship. That's what I wanted; a relationship with him. Somehow, when I thought about this, I came to the same bump in the road that I was at last time. He was obviously my best friend and I didn't want to do anything to ruin that friendship. When I kissed him last September, it ended in disaster and I would do everything I could to make sure that didn't happen to me again. I don't think I could make it through that kind of heartbreak again. There was no way for me to know if his feelings had changed and I was not about to put myself out there again.

But, then again, there was that moment right after I got my deal when we almost kissed and when we held hands on the street, which had me more confused than ever. Was I supposed to think that his feelings for me had somehow changed over these past few months? What if we actually had kissed? What would he have done afterwards? Would he have smiled or would he have awkwardly backed off and then avoided me for two months again? I was not about to let us go down that road again, so I stopped it before it could start, even though that was the very last thing I wanted to do. I guess I would just have to wait and see how things turned out.

"Man, I can't believe we have to leave the city already," Jack whined as we boarded the bus to go back home. It was only 8:00PM, but we had to leave so that we wouldn't get home too late and I know that my parents are going to make me go to school tomorrow, so I need to get some kind of sleep. This time, Zack and Jack could not turn their seats around, so they sat in front of me and Alex, while Rian and Kara still sat across from us. Alex took out his iPod and began to listen to it.

"I know and it sucks," I agreed, "but there's always the ride home."

"But, bus rides are boring," he responded, turning turning his head so that he was facing me and Alex.

"We'll find a way to make this one interesting," I said.

"Anyone bring any card games?" asked Rian. No one said anything. "What can we do then?"

At that moment, Alex randomly decided to start singing.

"_Once upon a time not so long ago:  
Tommy used to work on the docks  
union's been on strike  
He's down on his luck - It's tough  
so tough."_

I caught on to what he was doing, so I took one of the earphones out of his ear, put it in my own, and

began to sing along

"_Gina works the diner all day  
working for her man  
She brings home her pay for love  
for love."_

Eventually, everyone began to sing along obnoxiously.

"_She says we've got to hold on to what we've got  
Cause it doesn't make a difference  
If we make it or not  
We've got each other and that's a lot  
For love - we'll give it a shot_

Chorus:  
Whooah, we're half way there  
Livin on a prayer  
Take my hand and we'll make it - I swear  
Livin on a prayer

Tommy's got his six string in hock  
Now he's holding in what he used  
To make it talk - so tough, it's tough  
Gina dreams of running away  
When she cries in the night  
Tommy whispers baby it's okay, someday

We've got to hold on to what we've got  
Cause it doesn't make a difference  
If we make it or not  
We've got each other and that's a lot  
For love - we'll give it a shot

Chorus

We've got to hold on ready or not  
You live for the fight when it's all that you've got

Chorus"

__When the song was finished, we all cheered. People that we did not know had decided to sing along with us. Alex had an iTouch with speakers, so I took the earphones out of both our ears and let the music play so that everyone could hear it. Everyone laughed when the next song came on, but we all sang along anyway. It just so happened to be one of our favorite songs.

"_I know when he's been on your mind  
That distant look is in your eye  
I thought with time you'd realize  
It's over over  
It's not the way I choose to live  
And something somewhere's got to give  
As sharing this relationship gets older older  
You know I'd fight for you  
But how I can fight someone who isn't even there  
I've had the rest of you now I want the best of you  
I don't care if that's not fair_

Chorus:  
Cause I want it all  
Or nothing at all  
There's no where left to fall  
When you reach the bottom it's now or never  
Is it all  
Or are we just friends  
Is this how it ends  
With a simple telephone call  
You leave me here with nothing at all

There are times it seems to me  
I'm sharing you with memories  
I feel it in my heart  
But I don't show it show it  
And then there's times you look at me  
As though I'm all that you can see  
Those times I don't believe it's right  
I know know it

Don't me make me promises  
Baby you never did know how to keep them well  
I've had the rest of you  
Now I want the best of you  
It's time for show and tell

Chorus

Cause you and I  
Could lose it all if you've got no more room  
No room inside for me in your life  
Cause I want it all  
Or nothing at all  
There's no where left to fall  
It's now or never

Chorus x2"

We continued our sing along for awhile, but then people started getting tired since it was a long day, so we decided to turn it off. Jack had gotten so tired that he fell asleep on Zack. Zack got creeped out, so he tried to push him off, but Jack kept on falling back onto him, so he eventually just gave up.

"So did you have a good time today?" Alex asked me quietly as the bus began to grow silent.

"The best," I said. I rested my head on his shoulder. I was beginning to get very tired. "Did you?"

"Of course. It was better than I could have imagined. It couldn't have been more perfect."

"Mmmm I agree," I said as I began to close my eyes. "Thanks for taking me with you."

"I wouldn't have had it any other way."

"He would have been proud of you, you know," I said.

"Who?" he wondered.

"Eric. If he was still alive, he would want to celebrate with us. He wanted everything to come true for you."

"He would have been proud of you too. You're the one that made all of this possible."

"It was your talent that got you here, not me. I just sped your future along a little bit. You would have gotten a deal anyway. I just wish Eric would have been here to witness it all."

"Me too. Sometimes, I find myself wondering what he would say to me about certain things. Would he have wanted me to go to therapy or would he have thought I was weak?"

"That's simple: he would have wanted what was best for you. If he thought therapy was what you needed, he would have driven you there himself."

"Yeah, I guess I just wish I would have done the same for him," he said bitterly.

I sat up straight and looked at him, but he looked away so I took his hand and squeezed it. "Hey, none of that," I said. "You weren't living with him every single day. There was no way you could have known what he was going through. He loved you so much. The last thing he would want would be for you to blame yourself about this for the rest of your life. Besides, I don't want to ruin this day by thinking of bad memories."

"You're right," he agreed.

He slipped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me close to him. I couldn't keep the smile from my face even though my eyes were closed. He was silent for a few minutes. I didn't have to have my eyes open to know that he was thinking deeply about something.

"Hey, Taylor?" he finally said.

"Hmmm?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"You just did," I joked, "but go ahead."

"I know this is kind of late and everything, but uhm, will you uh will you be my, my valentine?" he stuttered out.

Whatever I was expecting him to ask me, it certainly wasn't that. It took a minute for me to get past my surprise and my stomach fluttered excitedly. I almost asked him to say it again to make sure I wasn't hallucinating.

"Did you hear what I said," he asked nervously when I didn't answer right away.

'Yeah, you just surprised me, that's all."

"So what do you say?"

"I say I would love to be your valentine," I responded as I opened my eyes and looked up at him.

He smiled widely at me and kissed my forehead. I nestled my head into his chest and felt sleep overcome me. As I slowly drifted off, I couldn't help but wonder if he really wanted me to be his valentine or if he felt bad because neither of us had one. I hoped with all my heart that it was the first option.

"Hey, guys, I have some bad news."

Alex, Jack, Zack, and I were gathered in the hallway near my locker before school the following Friday. As Rian walked up to us, he he looked slightly pissed off.

"What is it, Bro," asked Zack.

"We can't have the party at my house. My parents just told me yesterday that they had to cancel their plans for the weekend."

"Well that blows," said Jack. "What are we going to do now? I NEED TO DRINK!"

"Say that any louder and the only thing you'll be drinking tonight is your own words," I said as I rolled my eyes at him.

"Wait, what does that mean?" His eyebrows crinkled together in confusion.

"She means that if you scream about how you're going to get drunk tonight, someone like a teacher might overhear you and then you won't be able to drink because the teacher would tell your parents or something," Alex clarified.

"Oh. Well, Taylor, you could have just said that instead of confusing me so much!"

"But why would I do that? The look you get on your face is way too funny. You look like a lost puppy."

"Anyway," said Zack. "What do you guys want to do now that we don't have a place for a party?"

"We could just go out somewhere," I suggested.

"Where would we go?" asked Rian.

"It's so fucking obvious. We all have fake I.D.'s,. right? So then lets go to a bar or a club or something and get trashed. Why don't we just go back to the Den? They have free admission, right?"

"Yeah that sounds like a good idea. Their drinks are pretty cheap too," agreed Rian.

Alex turned to face me. "Taylor, is that ok with you? I know you didn't have the best experience the last time you went there."

I got chills as I remembered the huge fight Alex and I got into after we got back from the Den the last time I went. A situation like that was exactly what I was trying to avoid, but then I realized that the circumstances were completely different now. For one thing, I would be going with four other guys and Alex no longer had a bitchy girlfriend that wanted to tear me out of his life. I thought I ought to give this place another shot, so I nodded.

Alex came to pick me up around 8:00 that night. Kara volunteered to be the designated driver because her dad had a van that we could borrow, so we decided to meet at her house and bring things to sleep over in case some of us were too drunk to drive home.

I could tell that there was something wrong right away. He stared determinedly at the road as he sped along the highway and he didn't look over at me even once.

"What's up?" I finally asked.

"Noting," he responded dully.

"Alex, you can tell me. You are practically seething, now what is it?"

"Fine." He let out a long sigh and then began to talk again. "I saw Katelyn in the hallway today and she wasn't alone. She and that other Alex had their arms wrapped around each other. She saw me walk by, so she pulled him closer and started making out with him."

"So do you think you're jealous?" I asked with a sinking feeling in my stomach.

"I'm not really sure, but it just makes me so fucking angry that she purposely does that because she wants to hurt me. What's even worse is that it's working. Every time I see her with that guy, I think of what she did to me and it brings back all those bad memories."

"She was never a good person. She just does what she wants and does not even consider anyone else. I can't wait until she gets what's coming for her. Every time I see her, I just want to punch her in the face."

"Wow, Swifter, I never knew you to be so violent. I'm not sure how I feel about that."

"Yeah, well she brings out that quality in me. It took all I had not to punch her at our party when she showed up with the other Alex."

"Yeah, I remember that. I was in pretty bad shape that night."

"You couldn't even get up off the floor. I practically had to carry you upstairs."

"Thanks for being there for me. I really needed you that night."

I shrugged. "You would have done the same for me."

He stopped the car as we reached Kara's house. "I still really need you," he said as he turned to look at me after he turned the motor off. There was a deep sincerity in his eyes.

"We'll always have each others backs," I said looking into those deep brown eyes. We both just looked at each other deciding what to say next, but then I jumped as I heard a loud tap on my window. I turned to see Jack standing there waving at me foolishly. Alex and I both got out of the car.

"Hi, friends," said Jack. "I'm so excited to get trashed, so lets go!" He motioned us over and practically skipped to Kara's van. Alex and I exchanged a look and I just laughed and shook my head as we piled into the van. Everyone else was already there so Kara started driving as soon as she saw that we were settled in the car.

We later found out that Jack was high on caffeine, so he had a very hard time controlling his energy on the way there. Poor Kara must have been ready to kill him because she was trying to drive and he was being obnoxious and dancing and screaming. I would have been annoyed if it wasn't so funny.

Half an hour later, we were finally inside after waiting in line outside for awhile. Of course, as soon as we were in, we went straight to the bar. We came during happy hour again so it was a two-for-one special. Before I could put money down for my first set of drinks, Alex handed the bartender some cash. "That should take care of both of us," he said.

"Alex, you don't have to buy me a drink," I said.

He waved his hand in the air like it was no big deal. "I want to though."

"Well thank you," I said and I smiled at him as the bartender handed me my drinks.

All of a sudden, the Jack attack was in my face. "Come on, Taylor! Let's go dance!" Before I had a chance to answer, he pulled my arm and led me into the middle of the dance floor and started dancing. I tried to drink quickly so that it wouldn't spill all over the place while I was dancing. I looked around and noticed that Alex had not followed us. He must have stayed back at the bar for some reason. I decided to forget about whatever it was that Alex was doing and just have fun with Jack. We danced, even grinded. A little while later, "Good Girls Go Bad" by Cobra Starship started playing and Kara, Rian, and Zack joined us after they had a few drinks in them.

"Where's Alex?" Rian asked as we danced.

"A-Alex is a-a cotton-headed ninnymuggins," answered Jack. We had been there for less than an hour and he was already drunk.

"What the fuck?" Zack chuckled. "Someone has been watching too much Elf."

"What? It w-was on l-last night."

"And why exactly is Alex a cotton-headed ninnymuggins?" asked Kara. She couldn't keep the smile from her face.

"B-because he's n-not here d-dancing with us."

We stopped talking then because no one could hear anything over the music. Once the song was done, I finally broke away from Jack and went back to the bar to get another set of drinks.

"Hey, Sweetheart, what can I get for you?" asked the bartender as he smiled at me.

"Can I have a sour appletini, please?"

"Coming right up." He proceeded to make me the drink. As he was making it, I felt a pair of eyes on me, so I turned around and saw Alex walking toward me. As soon as he came up, the bartender gave me my drinks. I handed him cash, but he wouldn't take it.

"It's on the house," he said winking at me.

"Thank you," I said smiling at him.

"Free drink, huh? Not bad."

I turned around to find Alex standing directly in front of me.

"Where did you go?" I asked him. "We couldn't find you and I didn't realize that you weren't following us when Jack pulled me to the dance floor."

"I was enjoying my alcohol in peace. You and Jack looked like you were having fun out there." I wasn't sure, but I thought I sensed a feeling of bitterness in his voice.

"It was fun. We were just dancing, nothing more. Why don't you stop being so antisocial and come join us?"

"Lead the way."

I finished my drinks, took his hand and led him back to the dance floor where everyone else was.

"Nice of you to show up, my brother," said Rian clapping Alex on the back.

The next song that came on was "Fallin' For You," by Colbie Caillat. Jack got this really disappointed look on his face.

"Those f-fuckers! Why the h-hell would they p-play a slow song?" he pouted and stomped his foot.

"Uhm, anyway," said Alex ignoring Jack completely. "Taylor, do you want to dance?"

"I would love to." I wrapped my arms around his neck as he placed his hands on my sides. He smiled at me and I rested my head on his shoulder and smiled as the butterflies in my stomach went crazy.

_As I'm standing here  
And you hold my hand  
Pull me towards you  
And we start to dance  
All around us  
I see nobody  
Here in silence  
It's just you and me_

_I'm trying  
Not to tell you  
But I want to  
I'm scared of what you'll say  
So I'm hiding what I'm feeling  
But I'm tired of  
Holding this inside my head_

_I've been spending all my time  
Just thinking about ya  
I don't know what to do  
I think I'm fallin' for you  
I've been waiting all my life  
and now I found ya  
I don't know what to do  
I think I'm fallin' for you  
I'm fallin' for you_

**Chapter 23: Realize**

_Alex's P.O.V._

For some reason, I couldn't get Taylor out of my head the whole weekend. Normally, I would say that it's just because I was hanging out with her a lot, but, the truth is I wasn't. On Saturday, she had to go with her parents to see some relatives and they stayed over night since it was a far drive. She asked if I wanted to come along, but we had band practice that day, which was especially important since we actually had a contract now. It was harder to be away from her last weekend than it has ever been. I found myself dialing her number just to remember that she couldn't talk and I couldn't help but look out my window only to remember that she wouldn't be there.

I couldn't stop thinking about how it felt when she held my hand or the way her body felt against mine when we were dancing. Her smile lit up the night and the warmth of her body next to mine heated up the room. The image of the happiness in her bright blue eyes and her sheer beauty constantly danced across my mind. I never felt anything like that for any of the other girls I have been with.

Needless to say, I was relieved when I saw the light illuminate her room when she got home Sunday night. I waited a few minutes so that she could get settled in and then I picked up my laser and shined it at her window and grabbed my dry erase board.

**How was your weekend?** I wrote and I showed it to her when she opened the curtain.

**Boring,** she responded. **There wasn't anyone there that was my age, so there was nothing to do. I wish you could have come.**

**I'm sorry. I wish I could have too.**

**It's ok. I understand. You and the band have a lot to do. **

**I missed you though,** I wrote. I hesitated and then turned the board around to show her. She seemed slightly surprised. Normally, I don't say things like that to her. Soon, she recovered and wrote back to me.

**I missed you too.** Those were definitely four words that I liked seeing.

**Do you want to come over and hang out for a little bit? **I asked.

**Be right there,** she responded.

A few minutes later, I heard a soft knock on my door and she came in a second later. I got up and gave her a hug taking in the sweet smell of the shampoo in her hair as I did.

"So how did band practice go?" she asked as we walked over to the bed and sat down.

"It went really well actually. We spent a lot of time finalizing some of our songs. Now the only thing left is for the producer to look at them and tell us if they're good or they suck, but I think most of them are ready for recording. We start working with the producer next weekend."

"That's awesome. I can't meet with mine until next month, but I'm ok with that because now I have time to work on more songs."

"I'm kind of nervous. What if the guy hates all of our songs and tells us we suck?"

"Well, first of all, he can't tell you that you suck because you already got signed. Second of all, he's not going to hate your songs if they are heartfelt, which they are. Besides, he has to be professional and give you constructive criticism to make the song better."

"Yeah, I guess so."

We both laid down on the bed and I put my arm around her and pulled her closer to me.

"It's kind of funny, isn't it?" she asked turning to me.

"What is?"

"Thinking about how much everything is about to change. I mean, think about it. We're graduating high school in less than four months and we're about to start recording albums and doing national tours. It makes me wonder how everything is going to turn out. Will it be everything we have hoped for?"

"I hope so. It's scary to think about, but the most we can do is try and if we fail, at least we'll have fun doing it."

Taylor slept over that night and woke up early the next morning so that she could walk back to her house to get ready for school. I missed having her sleep beside me. It felt like we hadn't done that in a really long time. Soon, I heard a loud beep, so I made my way outside and into the front seat of her car. When we got to school, I found that I had enough time to walk her to homeroom, which is not something I usually do. I even held her books for her, which is probably the most surprising part because I don't even want to carry all of my own books.

"Thanks for walking with me," she said smiling at me as we got to her homeroom and she took her books out of my hands. "You're being such a gentleman today."

"Are you saying I'm not a gentleman every day?" I asked pretending to be hurt.

Her face turned slightly red. "No, no of course I didn't mean it like that. I just meant that-"

I put my index finger up to her lips before she could finish and laughed at her embarrassed expression. "Sssshhh I know what you meant, I was just kidding."

She looked relieved. "Oh, of course I knew that. Duh, it's you. I guess I just forgot who I was talking to for a second because you always bust my chops when I say something the wrong way."

"Damn straight I do. You're so much fun to tease." I chuckled as I mussed her hair a little bit and she gave me a dirty look.

"Stop," she said laughing a little bit while trying to hit my hand away. "It took a little while to do my hair this morning and I am not going to let you mess it up."

"Yeah, I noticed," I said as I continued to try to mess up her hair and she continued to try to slap my hand away. "You took like an hour just to straighten your hair." When I said this, she went to hit my shoulder, but she dropped her books in the process. I continued to laugh at her distress.

"Now look what you made me do!" she yelled at me. We both bent down at the same time to gather up her books. As I handed her a pile of books, she glared at me, but when she saw my sad puppy dog face, she couldn't help but laugh. The five minute warning bell began to ring.

"I guess that means I should go. Mr. Hall hates me, so I don't want to give him any reason to get me in trouble."

"Ok have a good day and I will see you at lunch," she said and she waved as I walked away.

As I walked toward my own homeroom, a head of reddish brown hair caught my eye and I couldn't help but turn to stare. It surprised me to see that, for once, Katelyn was standing alone at her locker angrily shoving her books into her backpack. A part of me wondered what happened between her and the other Alex and it angered me that I even cared that much. I decided to try to shake it off and walked into my homeroom and sat in my normal seat. I didn't turn around as Katelyn walked past me to get to her seat directly behind me.

"Alex?" she leaned forward to whisper in my ear.

It surprised me that she even had the nerve to talk to me after everything she did to me. I ignored her.

"Alex, can I please talk to you?" she pleaded. Her voice sounded desperate, but I continued to act as if I couldn't hear a word she was saying. When she saw that I had no intention of answering, she continued. "Look, I know I hurt you really badly, but I'm truly sorry now and I just wanted you to know that."

That last comment put me over the edge. I couldn't stay silent anymore. "Oh so you think that just because you are sorry that it will magically make me forgive you?" I whispered back harshly. "You broke my fucking heart because you cheated on me with some douche bag. I don't think I will ever be able to forgive you for that."

"I know that you may never forgive me, but I want to at least try. I miss you."

"Yeah well it's a little late for that. I'm sure you're just talking to me again because the other guy dumped you."

"That's not true. I really regret what I did to you and I want to prove to you that you can trust me again."

"Good luck with that one. You got yourself another guy immediately after we broke up and you told me you cheated on me soon after my brother died, so obviously I didn't mean shit to you when you meant the world to me."

"No, I loved you then and I still love you now."

"You've got a funny way of showing it."

"I cheated on you because I was scared of my feelings for you. I didn't want to get my heart broken, so I broke yours instead."

"If that's the case, then fuck you, Katelyn."

Thankfully, the bell for first period rang, so I grabbed my backpack and raced out of the room before she could try to defend herself some more. I could feel her eyes boring into my back as I walked toward class willing me to turn around and talk to her. What a manipulative bitch.

"Dude, what's with you?" Jack asked as I slammed my bag down on the table, sat down and put my head in my hands.

"GOD I fucking hate her!" I nearly screamed. Luckily, it was still loud in the room because class hadn't started yet, so no one heard me except Jack.

"Who do you hate?" he asked bringing his eyebrows together in confusion.

'Katelyn! She's such a fucking bitch! Ever since we broke up, she has made sure to flaunt that she moved on, but now that she broke up with her other boyfriend, she's trying to get me back again."

"When did she break up with her boyfriend?"

"I don't know, but I definitely saw them together last Friday and they looked perfectly happy."

"Maybe they're not actually broken up and she's just trying to cheat on him too. Did you see him at all today?"

"No I don't think so now that you mention it."

"Just don't let her get to you, man. She's not worth it. She just knows that you don't want her anymore and it's driving her crazy."

"Yeah, I think you're right," I agreed. "She's just a whore who has to have every guy's attention all the time."

The teacher came in and the class began, so Jack and I didn't have a chance to say any more on the subject.

A few hours later, it was finally time for lunch. I was very antsy in my last class because I was anxious to leave so that I could tell Taylor about Katelyn and she could convince me further that Katelyn was a conniving bitch. However, when I walked into the cafeteria, I was met with a sight that I did not wish to see.

Taylor and Jack were sitting together and laughing and teasing like always. Taylor went to take some of Jack's food, but then he slapped her hand away. She then cradled her hand to her chest and looked at him with a sad face. His lips said that he was sorry and he pulled her hand away from her chest and gave it a kiss. I watched as color washed over her face and she laughed awkwardly. Unexplainable anger seeped through me as I turned around and walked straight back out of the cafeteria.

A realization finally clicked in my head: Taylor and Jack liked each other. As I thought about it, it began to make more and more sense. They flirted with each other all the time. They could barely keep their hands off each other at the club the other night. I stood on the sidelines glaring enviously as they happily danced their troubles away. I was going to ask Taylor to dance with me, but then Jack took her away so quickly. She looked so happy dancing with him that I didn't want to interrupt. And now here they were all over each other in the cafeteria. I couldn't take it.

Another realization also occurred to me: more than anything, I wanted Taylor to like me again, not Jack. I wanted her to be with me, not Jack or anyone else; I wanted her to be mine.

**Chapter 24: My Best Friend's Girl**

_Alex's P.O.V._

Ok, I'll admit it. I know I'm probably being immature about this whole thing, but seeing them flirting with each other was the cherry on top of an already horrible day. I couldn't just sit there and watch it, so I got some food at a vending machine and sat outside on a bench to eat it.

I wished more than anything that I could just rewind the time back to last October when she kissed me in my room after our family dinner. At the time, I couldn't even consider being with her. Back then, she felt like a sister to me, but then she proved that she could be so much more than that.

Of course it's just my luck that once I realize that I have feelings for her, she goes and starts to like Jack. It figures. Fuck, what the hell am I supposed to do? They are my best friends. What if they get together and I still have feelings for Taylor? That would be awful. It would be so awkward hanging out with them that I'm not sure I would be able to do it. It seems karma has come to bite me in the ass because now I know how Taylor felt when I was with Katelyn. The only difference is that I actually like Jack, which makes the situation a hell of a lot more complicated. Fuck my life.

I took a huge, angry bite into my sandwich and felt my phone buzzing in my pocket.

_From: Taylor_

_Hey, where are you?_

I thought of an excuse and remembered that I had most, but not all of my classes with Jack, so I decided to use that to my advantage. _I'm studying with a friend for a test I forgot I had. Sorry I can't make it to lunch,_ I responded.

_Good luck on your test! Jack and I will miss you,_ she responded a minute later.

I said thanks and then put my phone back in my pocket and continued to eat. It comforted me to know that she cared enough about me to want to know where I was.

"What did she do to you?" asked a voice that was all too familiar. I turned to see that Katelyn was sitting directly next to me.

"Why the fuck do you care?" I asked sneering at her.

"I do care. A lot."

"Which is why you cheated on me, right? Oh wait, no, according to you, you cheated on me because _you_ were afraid of getting hurt, so instead you decided to hurt _me_."

"Can't we just skip this bullshit and you can just tell me what's wrong? I'm trying to help."

"No, we can't 'skip the bullshit,'" I said putting two fingers in the air as quote marks. "I don't trust you anymore, so I'm not just going to act like everything is peachy when it isn't. I can't just act like we're friends. It would be a lie."

"But I don't see why we can't just put that all behind us."

"Because now, every single time I see your face, I think of what you did to me. I'm not going to get over that any time soon. You told me you cheated on me right after my brother committed suicide. I lost two very important people in my life within a month of each other. Do you have any idea how much that fucked me up?" I waited to see if she would respond, but she didn't so I continued. "I sank into a depression and had to go therapy. I am currently on antidepressants partly because of you. You should be proud. You really did a number on me."

With that, I got up, got my stuff and started walking away, but she followed me.

"Alex, I'm so sorry," she said. Something about the way her voice sounded made me turn around and look at her. I was surprised to see a single tear rolling down her cheek.

"What's done is done," I responded. "There's no going back."

"But, there's always the future, right? I can always do better in the future."

"Yeah, I guess just as long as it's not with me."

She stopped walking and I continued, leaving her behind. I couldn't help but look back over my shoulder. The tears began to roll more rapidly down her cheeks. It appears that I have finally broken her. It was about time she got a taste of her own medicine. There was no way I was going to let her take advantage of me when she thought I was vulnerable. I was smarter than that now.

Somehow, I was able to hold up a normal expression around Jack in our classes together. This is when being in all those stupid little elementary school plays helped me.

"Hey, dude," he said in one of our classes. "We missed you at lunch."

"I know sorry about that," I responded. "I completely forgot I had a test. It was lucky that I happened to run into someone in my class who reminded me."

"Yeah, I guess." Jack was never one to really care about grades. As long as he had a passing grade in every class, he was happy. Taylor always yells at him for not doing his homework, but he says he doesn't want to waste his life learning about things that he will never need to know in the future. "What are you up to tonight?"

"Nothing really, why?"

"Do you want to hang out tonight? We haven't played against each other in Halo in a long time and I'm still looking to beat your highest score."

"I don't know about that last part, but you can come over tonight if you want and we can hang out and play some video games in the basement."

"Alright, cool."

Then, the teacher caught us talking, so we didn't have a chance to say another word to each other until class was done.

The rest of the day continued relatively normal. Before I knew it, the bell sounded signaling the end of the day, so I went to my locker to grab my stuff and then I met Taylor by hers.

"Hey, how did your test go?" she asked as I approached her.

"It actually went pretty well," I lied. I hated lying to her, but I couldn't tell her that I was sitting outside brooding about her and Jack. I wasn't ready for her to know just yet. "How was your day?"

"It was ok. Nothing out of the ordinary happened. How was yours?" she said as she finished gathering her stuff and we began to walk out to her car.

"The morning was terrible, but the afternoon was a little better."

"Why? What happened?" She turned to look at me with a concerned expression on her face.

We got in the car and she started to drive as I proceeded to tell her about Katelyn while of course altering some details about how she came up to me at lunch. By the time I was done talking, Taylor was livid.

"I can't believe that bitch did that to you," she said angrily. "Right now, I would like nothing better than to drive over to her house and give her a piece of my mind and maybe my fist."

In spite of everything, I couldn't help but laugh.

"What's so funny?" she asked crinkling her eyebrows.

"You are," I laughed. "Hearing you say something like 'I want to give her a piece of my mind and maybe my fist' is just so out of character for you. It's kind of funny picturing you being violent, especially since you are usually so innocent."

'Hey, I can't be a violent bad girl when I want to be," she said. "I'm not always little miss innocent."

"I'd like to see you try," I challenged.

"Alright then," she said as she made a wrong turn.

"Where are you going?" I asked. "We live the other way."

"I know. I'm taking you up on your challenge and we are driving over to Katelyn's house."

"What? Wait, how do you even know where she lives?"

"I looked up her address in the school directory after she left our party. I was seriously thinking of paying her a visit then too, but I didn't because you needed me."

"Ok, turn around. You don't need to do this. I see your point now. You would go beat up Katelyn in a heartbeat."

"Damn straight I would."

"You don't need to prove anything to me. I don't want you to do anything stupid, now please just turn around," I pleaded with her. She looked at my face for a moment and then finally gave in.

"Ok, fine," she said, turning the car around. "But, if she does anything else to hurt you, she had better watch out."

I breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you." I did not want to be responsible for Taylor getting in trouble and I would feel even worse if, God forbid, she got hurt. "I must say, I do kind of like this wild side of you, though. It's fun to watch."

She laughed. "Well, I'm glad you're amused. She turned into her driveway.

"Jack is coming over tonight if you want to come hang out with us," I said before we got out of the car and internally cringing at the thought of watching them together again. I guess I would just have to get used to it.

"I can't," she responded. "I have a doctor appointment tonight, but maybe I'll come afterwards. I have to go do all my homework now so that I don't run out of time."

"Ok cool, I guess I will see you later then," I said as we each got out of the car.

"Yeah, definitely."

We parted ways as she headed toward her front door and I walked over to my house.

As I waited for Jack to come, I decided to be a good boy and do some homework in my room because I had nothing better to do. When I got bored, I would look over into Taylor's room. Sometimes, we would make eye contact and smile at each other and wave.

He came over around six o'clock and we decided to get some pizza delivered for dinner. As we ate, we turned on some Monday Night Football and wished we could each hold an ice cold beer in our hands. Unfortunately, my parents were home. Neither of us were particularly into the game since the Ravens weren't playing, but it was still something to watch.

"I hope it's the Ravens versus the Steelers in the Superbowl just so that we can kick some Steeler ass," Jack said during a commercial.

"Yeah, I can't wait to see the look on Ben Roethlisberger's face if that happens and we win," I agreed. "I hope we make that fucker run scared."

"If that happens, I fully plan on getting completely trashed."

I gave him a look. "Jack, you know you would get completely trashed anyway."

"That might be true, but if the Steelers win, I would get trashed to get rid of my misery. If the Ravens win, I would get trashed in celebration of our victory. When the Steelers won the last Superbowl, I went into a depression. It was one of the worst days of my life," he said dramatically.

"Yeah, I remember that. When they scored that last touchdown and the game ended, you started screaming and running around like a mad person and then you ran yourself into a wall." I laughed as I remembered watching Jack run headfirst into a wall and then falling down. He gave himself a bloody nose.

"Like I said, I was severely depressed and not in my right mind.

"I don't think you have ever been in your right mind," I joked.

"Hey, fuck you," he said laughing a little bit. He slapped my shoulder and we got into a hitting match. A few minutes later, our hands were red and we were laughing so hard it hurt.

After the game ended, we decided to play Halo so that Jack could try to beat my high score. Luckily, by the time we were done, nothing had changed and I still remained the champion.

"You are such a fucking cheater!" he said angrily when we finished.

"How am I a cheater?"

"Because you are you!"

"What the fuck? That makes no sense!"

"I know, I'm just mad that I lost."

"Thought so."

"Hey, where's Taylor?" he wondered.

"She said she has a doctor appointment and that maybe she will come later."

"Oh," he said. "Well, I hope she can come." I could hear the emotion in his voice. He really wanted her to get here as soon as possible.

We were both silent for a few minutes. The look on Jack's face told me he was thinking deeply about something, which is unusual for him.

"Speaking of Taylor," he finally said. "I have a question for you and I want you to be completely honest with me."

"Ok," I said, wondering what he was about to ask me.

"Do you like her?"

I knew exactly what he was asking me, but I tried to avoid an answer. "Of course I like her. She's my best friend. Why wouldn't I like her?"

Now it was his turn to give me a look. "You know what I mean, Alex."

"Honestly?" I gulped.

"Honestly," he responded.

I decided to just tell him the truth. It was better to have everything out in the open. "Yes," I finally said. "I like her. I realize now that I've liked her ever since Valentine's Day, maybe even before that."

He let out a long puff of air in response. "Are you going to tell her?" he asked.

"Well, that depends."

"On what?"

"I also have a question for you and I want you to be honest."

"Ok," he said crinkling his eyebrows in confusion.

"Do you like Taylor too?"

It took him awhile, but eventually, I heard a very distinct "Yes" come out of his mouth.

Houston, we have a problem.

**Chapter 25: Sick Little Games**

_Taylor's P.O.V._

Maybe it was just me, but it seemed like this school year was going by with lightning speed. Before I knew it, it was the end of February. The sun was out and the snow was permanently melted into the ground. It seemed like winter had just started, yet there I was getting out my clothes for spring. Where has the time gone?

It blew my mind that some people had already started thinking about who they were going to take to senior prom. I mean, it's still February and prom is not until the end of May. I guess some people just like to think of things really far in advance. As for me, I definitely could not think that far ahead. Who knows what my life will be like in a few months? I could be a completely different person. Besides, I'm not sure if I even want to go.

Prom is all I heard about when Alex and I walked into school that Friday. All that week, students had the opportunity to vote for which theme they wanted and it seemed that disco had won out over everything else. I laughed as I pictured guys showing up to prom in bell bottom pants Saturday Night Fever style.

"I can't believe people are already thinking of prom when it's not even spring yet," I said. "I can't even decide what I'm doing tomorrow, let alone three months from now."

"People are insecure and want to make sure they can get dates before anyone else. It's like one big competition," he responded as we walked through the hallway together. It had become a ritual for him to walk me to homeroom if he had enough time.

"Yeah, I guess that's true especially with girls. They are usually the ones that have a harder time getting dates since most of them want to be asked instead of doing the asking."

"Speaking of prom, are you going?" he asked.

"I'm not sure yet," I said honestly. "I mean, I honestly don't see the point in spending hundreds of dollars on a dress that I will only wear once, a ticket that I will only use once, or a limo that I will only have for a night. I mean, I'm sure it's great for the memories and stuff, but I'm just not sure it's worth it. You know what I mean?"

"I guess, but it's something you will never forget and it's fun. There are dresses and limos you can find for cheaper prices. It'll be one of your last high school memories with your high school friends."

"Yeah, I guess that's true. I would have to find a date though. My parents would never let me go to prom alone. They are way too old-fashioned, which gets on my nerves sometimes."

"Trust me, I'm sure you won't have a problem finding a date."

"You really think so?" I asked, turning to look at him quizzically. His face seemed to develop the slightest blush when I looked at him.

He gulped and then said. "Yeah, I really do. Any guy would be lucky to have you as his date." His face turned even more red as he said this. I could see the sincerity in his eyes.

"Thanks, Alex," I said as I smiled up at him. I still wasn't used to him paying me compliments like that.

He was about to say something in response, but he was saved by the bell. He looked at his watch. "Oh shit!" he exclaimed. "I'm going to be late for homeroom!" He gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and then ran down the hallway. I lifted my hand to touch the spot that he had kissed on my cheek and then looked at it with an incredulous expression on my face and felt the butterflies going crazy in my stomach. He rarely ever kisses me on the cheek and, if he does, there's usually a specific reason for it. This time, however, it was just random. I walked into the classroom in a temporary state of shock.

My morning passed along as boring and slow as usual, but I couldn't get that one simple kiss out of my head. For some reason, it made me extremely happy. I tried to convince myself that it didn't necessarily mean anything, but when I thought about his lips touching my cheek, I got tingles up and down my spine.

Four hours later, it was finally time for lunch. I didn't know whether to look forward to this time anymore or not. For the past few weeks, Jack and Alex have been acting slightly weird toward each other and sometimes even toward me. Don't get me wrong, they were still friendly toward each other and they still joked around and picked on each other a lot, but something was different and I just couldn't put my finger on what it was. It was as if there was some kind of line that neither of them was willing to cross. They were being careful around each other.

Another thing I noticed was that, when all three of us would hang out together, they would not go anywhere near me. Usually, one of them used to put his arm around me or hug me or something, but not lately, at least not when the other was around. It just wasn't normal.

A few days ago, I had been thinking about it and it was really starting to bother me, so I called Kara thinking that maybe she would have some new insight.

"Hello?" she said when she answered the phone.

"Hey girl, it's me," I responded.

"Oh hey, Tay. What's up?"

"I need your advice about something."

"Ok, go for it."

"Alex and Jack have been acting kind of weird lately. It seems like there's a new boundary or something between them and they are trying their hardest not to cross it. I can't really explain it, but they've been different lately."

"Hmm that's strange. I don't think it's anything that would be a really big deal though. I feel like if it was really something big, then they would tell you."

"Yeah, I don't know, maybe I'm just reading too much into it."

"Maybe. I know that they are getting ready to start actually recording soon, so maybe they are just nervous about that. They practiced with the producer for a few weeks, but maybe they are still nervous about the actual recording process. Also, they might know things about the album that they aren't allowed to tell you or something. Rian told me that there are some things that they are required to keep under wraps."

"I'm sure you're right," I responded. I felt relieved. What Kara was saying made sense. "I know I'm nervous for when I meet up with my producer soon and I'm not even ready to think about recording yet."

"See," she said soothingly, "I'm sure there's nothing to worry about."

"Thanks Kara," I smiled even though she couldn't see me. "You made me feel a lot better.

"No problem, babe. I will see you soon."

"Yeah, definitely," I responded and then we said our goodbyes and hung up.

Now, as I walked in to lunch, I saw that Alex had gotten here before me for once. He was sitting at the table with Jack and they were both eating in silence. Normally, this would have struck me as odd, but they have barely said a word to each other lately. I guess nerves can really make a person do strange things. I decided to shrug it off. I packed lunch today, so I went straight to the table and sat down.

"Hey, guys," I said as brightly as I could. "What's up?"

"Nothing much," they both said as they continued to eat.

"How are your days going so far?"

"Fine," they both responded again.

"Ok, stop saying the same thing at the same time. It's freaking me out."

"Sorry," they both said and then laughed when they saw the look on my face.

"Anyway, I think I want to go to the mall today to pick up some new clothes. Would either of you gentleman like to escort a lady?"

"I'd be honored," responded Jack.

"Why, thank you, good sir," I said in a fake British accent.

"I can't," replied Alex. "I have voice lessons right after school so that my voice can be ready to record the songs. We start recording tomorrow."

I let out a long, drawn out sigh. "Ok, I guess Jack and I will just have to make due without you. I don't know how we will do it, but somehow we will manage."

"I know I'm better than Jack, but, unfortunately, you can't have me all the time. There's only so much of me to go around," Alex joked. Jack pretended to be offended.

A few hours later, Jack and I were in his car on our way to the mall. Alex had taken his car to school, so we didn't have to worry about dropping him off.

"So are you nervous?" I asked as the car zoomed past the trees outside.

"Nervous about what?" he asked, keeping his eyes on the road. Despite his crazy attitude, he was a really good driver.

"Starting to record tomorrow," I responded, turning to look at him so that I could study his face.

"Oh yeah that. I'm pretty nervous. I keep thinking the record company is going to hear our finished product and realize they made a mistake in signing us. That's my biggest fear."

"That's not possible," I said. "You guys are amazing. Any record label would be lucky to have you. They wouldn't have signed you if they didn't think you could make it big. Besides, if they don't like what you record, I'm sure they would just tell you to go back in and do it again. It's not as big of a deal as you'd think it would be. Also, the producer helps you with the sound of the song, so it would partly be the producer's fault if the company doesn't like how it sounds."

"Yeah, I guess that's true. I feel like I'm going to be so nervous tomorrow that I'm going to keep on fucking up my part though."

"Everybody messes up their first time. It won't be a big deal."

"I know. I guess I just want to show everyone that I'm worthy of something. I want to show my parents that I can do this for the rest of my life. They still want me to go to college, but I want to do this. They don't think it's a stable career for me."

"Think of it this way: if for some reason, this doesn't work out, you can always decide to go to college later on in life. You have a lot of time and you will be able to use that to fall back on. And I thought your parents supported you in this?"

"They do, but they want me to consider all my options. They would prefer it if I went to college and got a real job, but they understand that this is my dream. I just want to prove to them that I can make it without having to go to college.

"Don't worry, Jacky-poo. It's all going to work out."

"How do you know?"

"It's just this feeling I have. It's all going to be ok."

"Oh. I like how you think." I chuckled at the simple way he said this.

He turned into the huge, confusing parking garage of the Towson Mall and we parked near the food court. He graciously opened the door for me as we walked into the mall. Usually, he went in first and held it for me behind him, but, this time, he let me go first. He was acting like such a gentleman, which was extremely unusual for Jack. Don't get me wrong, he was never rude or anything, but he had never really gone out of his way to do things for me before.

"It feels so good to be here," he said, breathing in the mall air. "This is one of my favorite places on earth. It's almost as good as going to a Pokemon convention." I guess I should mention that Jack likes to shop, therefore he loves malls. Jack is like my gay best friend except that he's actually straight.

"Where do you want to go first?" I asked.

"Lets go to Hot Topic!" he said and he started to jump up and down excitedly. I rolled my eyes and started to walk over to the down escalator.

"Why did I even bother to ask you that question?" I wondered as we went down. "You always want to go to Hot Topic."

He shrugged. "What can I say? It's my favorite store."

We got off the escalator and walked over to the store. He immediately walked over to the skinny jeans and picked out a pair of purple ones. Then, he went over to the band t-shirt section.

"One day, there are going to be All Time Low t-shirts here and the first day I see them here will be one of the best days of my life because then I will really know that this is all real," he said, turning to look at me.

"I can't wait for that day to happen," I said smiling at him. He looked at me for a second too long and my eyes awkwardly moved to the floor. He grabbed some shirts and hoodies to try on and then headed over to the dressing room. He showed me each outfit combination and I told him what I liked and what I didn't like. Again, shopping with Jack was like shopping with my best girl friend or my best gay friend. Awhile later, he came out of the dressing room for the last time with a huge pile of clothing in his hands. I waited patiently as he paid for it.

"Ok, now it's your turn to choose," he said as we walked out of the store. "Where do you want to go?"

"Hmm," I said thinking about my answer. "I think I want to go to Macy's. I was in need of some new sweaters and Macy's always had some cute and comfortable ones.

"To Macy's it is!"

Five minutes later, we made it to the main entrance of Macy's. When we got there, I stopped dead in my tracks. It took awhile for Jack to notice my trepidation because he kept walking and then turned around and saw that I was far behind him, so he walked back toward me with a confused look on his face.

"Taylor, why did you stop?" he asked.

I pointed to the display window. "Look at those," I said in a dazed voice. His eyes followed where my finger was pointing.

"What are you looking at?" he asked. "The dresses?"

I nodded. "They are so beautiful."

Simply looking at the display in that window practically made me change my decision about going to prom. Three dresses stood side-by-side. The dress all the way to the left was a baby pink strapless satin dress with a ruffled skirt and a shaw to go around the shoulders. The dress that stood all the way to the right was a baby blue strapless dress with jewels at the top and a straight, but puffy skirt. Both of these dresses were attractive, however, the dress in the middle was what made me stop. It was a simple white lace strapless dress with silver jewels that wrapped around the top, but something about it reminded me of Cinderella. I knew that, one way or another, I would come back here and buy that dress. I had to have it.

"Girls and prom," Jack said as he rolled his eyes at me. Then, he looked at me seriously. "Hey, are you going?" he asked.

My eyes never left the perfect dress in the display case. "At first, I wasn't so sure, but now I think I want to go," I answered. "My parents won't let me go without a date though."

"Who do you want to go with?"

One name immediately popped into my mind, but I thought that it probably wasn't the best idea to mention this to him. "I don't know," I lied.

His expression was thoughtful for a second. "I have an idea. If neither of us can get a date in like a month or so, how about we go together?"

"Sounds like a deal to me," I smiled. Jack was one of my best friends. Going to prom with him definitely would not be boring. When I said this, he did a happy little hop and I laughed at him. He was one of a kind.

**Chapter 26: You're Just In Time To Witness My First Breakdown**

_Alex's P.O.V._

If you were to come up to me right now and tell me that March was a busy month, I would have told you that you have just made the biggest understatement of the year. I did not have any time to spare between school and recording. When I wasn't at school or at home, I was at the studio recording and, when I wasn't recording, I was doing homework so that I could graduate.

So much went in to recording a song. You had to make sure the instruments were tuned correctly; you had to make sure your voice was warmed up; you had to sing exactly on-key, otherwise you would have to start again. Sometimes, the producer would go back and listen to the track and decide he didn't like the way it sounded after all, so then you would have to go back and record it again. Each day was designated to a different part of the song or album. One day, we would record drums and vocals and the next day, we would record bass, electric, or acoustic guitar. It could take up to a week just to finish one song. It was a tiring process, but I can honestly say I loved every tedious minute of it.

Taylor and I still hung out, but it wasn't the same. It was as if we were too busy for each other. She started working with her producers, so we had to spend a lot of time recording in different studios. We couldn't always ride to school together anymore because we each had to be at our respective studios right when school ended and sometimes we would be there into the wee hours of the morning. By the time both of us were home, we would be too tired to do anything other than homework and sleep. Our dreams had finally taken over our lives. Neither of us were complaining, but not being able to see her that often was the only downfall of everything. Now, the only time we really got to see each other was during lunch.

Speaking of lunch, that was probably one of the most awkward times of the day for Jack and I. I guess I should take this opportunity to explain to you just how hard it is liking the same girl that your best friend does. That night in my basement, Jack and I had each talked about our feelings for Taylor and eventually decided that we would do our best to not let it ruin our friendship. However, we decided on one condition: we would not do anything physical with Taylor while in the other's presence. We weren't going to make each other jealous; it just wasn't fair. We could tell that she noticed the way we were acting, but she never said anything about it.

Today was Friday, the second day of April, and it just so happened to be one of those rare days where we were both off from recording. Rian and Zack still had to go in to record their tracks, but Jack and I were off and so was Taylor, so I got to drive her to school. We spent the whole ride updating each other about how recording was going and sometimes even venting about our producers. I told her how, as an April Fool's joke, our producer had told us to meet him at a different studio, but we found out about the joke, so we showed up at the right studio and scared the crap out of him because he thought he had tricked us. She told me how, after she finished recording a track, they told her they had erased everything else by accident and she almost had a heart attack. Luckily, it was all a trick and all of her songs were still intact.

We were running late to school, so I did not have any time to walk her to homeroom like I hoped I would. I got to my homeroom and sat down as usual. I looked around the room and breathed a sigh of relief when I saw that Katelyn wasn't there. Every time she saw me, she would try to talk to me and it was usually really hard to shrug her off. No matter what I said or did, she refused to get the message that I did not want to be around her. It's as if she fed off my hate for her; she just kept coming back for more.

"Guess what?" I heard a girl screech excitedly behind me.

"What?" her friend asked eagerly.

"Kyle finally asked me to prom!"

They began to talk about where they would go to get their dresses and when they would order the limo. I rolled my eyes as I tried to ignore it all.

Prom was a month and a half away and most of my friends already had dates. I knew I wanted to go, but I haven't had time to really think about it between all the recording. However, now it was the only thing that was on my mind. I imagined how amazing it would be to go with Taylor and watch her face glow in the fluorescent lights as we danced. It would definitely be a night to remember.

She hadn't mentioned anything about prom to me since that one day about a month ago, which must have meant that she didn't have a date. She had said that she wasn't sure if she wanted to go, so I would have to do my best to convince her to go with me. A nervous feeling developed in my stomach as I wondered how she would react. Would she be happy? Would she think it's weird? Would she feel obligated to go with me since I was her friend and she didn't want me to go alone? I tried to shake these thoughts off as the bell for first period rang. Eventually, I decided to ask her anyway. If I didn't ask her, I knew I would always have that nagging "what if" feeling that everybody hates. I decided I would ask her at her locker when school was over.

Lunch started off relatively normal. We told each other about our day and ate our food like normal. I felt the food swishing around in my stomach as I began to eat, so I put my fork down and watched as Taylor and Jack finished their lunch. My hands began to shake as I thought of what I was about to do later. How would I say it to her? Was it a bad idea to do it when she was packing up her books? How would I-?

"Alex!" Taylor nearly screamed, snapping me out of my reverie.

"Oh, uh, what?"

She looked at me closely, studying my face. "Are you ok? You seem kind of out of it."

"Yeah, I'm fine," I lied. "Why?"

"I was asking you a question, but you didn't seem to hear me."

"I was just thinking about stuff." She looked like she was about to ask me what I was thinking about, so I quickly said, "What did you want to ask me?"

"When will you guys be done recording?"

I looked at Jack. "I think we're aiming to be basically done by the middle of this month, right? Once we are mostly done, we just have to go back to add the finishing touches."

Jack nodded. "Yeah, I think Matt, our producer, said that we're aiming for a June release date. What about you?" he asked Taylor.

"I think right now we're looking at July," she said.

"That's awesome," I said. "You know what that means?"

"What?" she asked looking at me curiously.

"It means that we can tour together to promote our albums."

She seemed skeptical. "As much as I would love to tour with you guys, I think you are missing something," she said. "If we ever want to really get noticed, we each have to tour with someone big. I don't think any big bands would want to tour with a country girl like me or any huge country stars would want to tour with a punk rock group. Our genres don't go well together."

"That hasn't stopped us before, has it? We have always performed together and we have done pretty well," I pointed out. "Besides, it's about the fun, not the fame."

She looked thoughtful and then nodded. "You have a great point, Garth."

"We should get this thing going," chimed in Jack. "I will bribe our record label so that we can tour with you. I will get them all the candy they could possibly want for a lifetime. Who doesn't want candy?"

A beautiful, high-pitched laugh came out of her mouth. "Jack, you wouldn't be bribing your label, you'd be bribing your tour manager."

"Oh, well then if it's a girl, I will make her feel pleasure she has never even dreamed of and, if it's a guy, I will buy him whatever he wants and give him hugs every day.

Taylor laughed again. "Leave it to you to turn everything into something sexual.

He gave us a wide, toothy grin and said, "It's what I'm good for."

"Yeah, I'm sure that's about all you're good for," I joked.

This kind of banter continued for the rest of the lunch period until the bell finally rang. I couldn't walk with Taylor and Jack because I realized that I left a notebook for my next class in my locker, so I had to go get it quickly.

You know how time has that tendency to speed up when you need it to slow down? Before I knew it, the school day was over and I was packing up my backpack about to head over to Taylor's locker. I could not concentrate on any of my classes that afternoon and my legs could not seem to stop shaking no matter how much I tried to get myself to relax.

I saw her open her locker and put some books into her bag as I walked up to her. I felt my heartbeat begin to rapidly accelerate as she looked over to me and smiled.

"Hey," she said. "How was the rest of your day?"

"Pretty boring," I answered. "What about yours?"

"Same," she said. "We just reviewed for some tests I have next week. Thank God it's the weekend now so I can at least study a little bit in between recording."

"Yeah I know what you mean. I barely have any time for school anymore."

She zipped up her backpack and slammed her locker shut. I took a deep breath. It was now or never.

"Hey, I have a question."

"What is it?" she asked with wonder in her eyes.

"By any chance, do you have a d-date for the p-prom yet?" My anxiety nearly overtook me, but I managed to stay as still as possible. It took longer than I was hoping for her to answer.

She hesitated, not quite knowing how to respond. "Alex..." she began quietly looking down at the floor. "I'm so sorry," she said sadly, "but I already told Jack I would go with him."

"Oh," I said, trying desperately to swallow the large lump in my throat.

"Hey, guys!" Jack nearly screamed as he ran up and put an arm around both of us. So much for our agreement. He took a look at both of our faces and then said, "What did I miss?"

"Uhm, nothing," I responded. "Listen, Jack, would you mind taking Taylor home? I have to stay after school."

"Yeah, sure that's fine." He could tell I was upset, but he didn't say anything.

"Alex, wait..." Taylor said.

I looked at her and saw pain in her eyes. She somehow knew that she had hurt me and that hurt her in turn. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt her, so I forced a smile on my face. "Don't worry about it, Taylor. I'm fine. I have work I have to go do." With that, I turned and walked down the hall away from the both of them.

_Taylor's P.O.V._

Jack and I walked silently out to his car, but we could each hear the loud sound of guilt beating within our hearts. My best friend was hurting and there was not much I could do about it without hurting my other best friend. Alex tried to hide it, but, when I turned him down, his face turned completely crestfallen. It killed me to know that I had hurt him.

After lunch, while Alex was at his locker, Jack walked me to class and reminded me that neither of us had a prom date, so we agreed to go together since it had been over a month. The last thing I expected was for Alex to ask me right after I said yes to Jack. In fact, Alex even asking me at all was the last thing I expected. I wondered if I would have still said yes to Jack if I knew that Alex was planning on asking me. Deep down, I knew that answer without a doubt, no matter how much I didn't like that it would hurt the other man.

"Ok, someone needs to say something!" Jack finally exploded. "I can't take the silence."

"Sorry," I said.

"Look, Taylor, I know you feel sorry about Alex, but he's a big boy. He'll find someone else to go to prom with I'm sure."

"I hope so. I just want him to have a good time."

"He will. I'm sure everything will work out."

"I hope so. He looked at me like I had betrayed him when I told him I was going with you."

"That's his fault though. He should have asked you beforehand if he really wanted to go with you."

"I know and you're right, but I just feel really bad because I feel like I hurt him."

"You are being too hard on yourself. It's not your fault and Alex will get over it."

"I hope you're right," I sighed as I looked out the window.

A few minutes later, I finally got home and went straight up to my room like I usually do. My eyes couldn't help but wonder over to Alex's window, but his room was dark just as I had expected. It was highly unusual for him to stay after school on a Friday afternoon, so he must have had something important to do.

Two hours later, I looked back at his window and saw that his light still wasn't on. It was now past the time that kids were allowed to stay after school. I couldn't shake the nagging feeling that something was wrong with him and I knew that it had something to do with me. I decided to text him to see what he was up to, but I did not get a response.

Around 6:00 that night, my phone started ringing and number that came up was Alex's house phone number. I practically lunged for the phone.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Taylor, it's Robert. By any chance, do you know where Alex is? He was supposed to be home an hour ago. I have been calling him nonstop and he hasn't picked up," said Alex's dad.

That horrible feeling in my stomach just got a lot worse. "No," I swallowed. "I swear, I don't know where he is. The last time I saw him was when we were about to leave school. He said he had to stay after for something and I haven't seen him since."

"I called the school and they said he wasn't there."

"Where do you think he is?"

"I don't know but his mother and I are worried sick."

"Yeah, so am I. He's almost always home by now if he doesn't have anything else to do."

"Well, if you hear anything, could you please call us and let us know?"

"As long as you do the same for me."

"Of course. Bye, Taylor."

I hung up the phone and flopped down on my bed helplessly. I looked around my room as I tried to figure out where Alex could possibly be. My eyes finally rested on a picture of Eric, Alex, and me smiling at the camera. My intuition hit me smack in the face and suddenly, I knew exactly where Alex was. I got my keys and practically ran out of my room.

**Chapter 27: Please Don't Leave Me**

_Taylor's P.O.V._

I drove as fast as the speed limit would allow me. Alex needed me and I could feel it. I just prayed that I had the right place.

After what seemed like hours later, I finally arrived at my destination and parked the car on the street. I grabbed a flashlight out of my trunk and proceeded carefully. It was pitch black out and the place was surrounded by trees. I shined the flashlight on each gray tombstone that I came up tom and practically jumped every time I heard even the quietest noise. Damn Alex for making me come to a graveyard alone in the dark.

I didn't know exactly where Eric's grave was, so I wondered around where I thought it was. All I could see were graves and and trees, so I changed direction. Awhile later, I saw movement out of the corner of my eye and turned my head to see a dark silhouette sitting on the ground a short distance from me. I walked toward it and let out a long sigh of relief once I saw that it was Alex. I heard his voice whispering in the night as I approached him, but I didn't want to interrupt, so I waited.

"It's still so hard without you," he said. "I hate how you can't help me get through stuff like this anymore. Sometimes, I come home on a bad day and pick up my phone to call you, but then I remember that you aren't here to help me anymore and I'm lost. I miss you so much and I need you. I wish you could send me some kind of sign that you are watching out for me." He stopped to wipe a single tear rolling down his cheek.

"Alex?" I said and he jumped nearly a foot in the air as he turned around to see who had called his name. I couldn't help but giggle at his reaction.

"Taylor?" he asked as he shined his flashlight into my eye. I squinted and put a hand in front of my face to shield the light.

"Yeah, now get that light out of my face."

"Sorry." He put the flashlight down so that it shined on the grave and I walked over and sat down next to him. I noticed that there was an untouched six-pack of beer laying right in front of Alex's feet.

"I was going to drink it, but then I remembered that I would have to drive home and I didn't want to give my parents another dead son," he said solemnly, following my gaze.

"I'm glad you didn't drink it," I said putting a comforting hand on his knee. "I don't think I could ever live through losing you." Thinking about even the possibility of having him not exist in my life anymore made me shudder.

"You aren't going to lose me, but, if something does happen, I hope you know that I would want you to move on and be happy."

"Can we talk about something else? I really don't even want to think about that." I tried to swallow the huge lump in my throat, but it was still there.

He nodded and we sat there in silence for a few minutes, each staring at Eric's grave.

I couldn't believe it had been five months since he died. So much had changed since then. Alex and Katelyn broke up, Alex began going to therapy, and, more happily, Alex and I were friends again and we both had record contracts. Our lives are completely different now than they were before Eric died. It was hard at first, but somehow, we managed to move our lives forward after his death.

However, no matter how much it seemed like we had all moved on, we would always miss the life we used to have, the life that Eric Gaskarth existed in. Nothing would ever change that fact. No matter how good things may have seemed, I knew I would always wish I could go back. Things may have been good, but they were never as good as when he was still alive. I sniffled and brushed the tears away from my cheeks as I though about just how much I missed him.

Alex must have heard me crying because he put an arm around me and pulled me close to his chest.

"I wish more than anything that he was still here," I cried. "I wish he would be here to watch us make our dreams come true. He's missing so much."

"I know," he responded quietly. "I know."

For some reason, I completely lost it. I cried hysterically on Alex's shoulder as everything caught up to me. I didn't realize just how much I missed Eric until now. If he were still here, I would have called him and asked him what I should do about Alex, but he wasn't and I couldn't. The guilt of hurting his little brother ate away at my insides and I couldn't make it stop. Alex hugged me closer to him and rubbed a hand up and down my back as I cried. Once I finally got myself back in control, I started to laugh in spite of everything.

"Why are you laughing?" he asked looking at me.

"I came here to comfort you and make sure you were ok and look at me? I'm a mess! I'm a horrible friend."

"What? Why would you ever say that."

"I'm supposed to be here for you, yet here I am making it all about myself."

"Taylor, that's not true. If you need to cry, then you should go ahead and get it all out. Grief doesn't just magically go away. I don't want you to be upset."

"But I don't want you to be upset either, which brings me to my original purpose. How come you never came home? What's going on with you?" I asked, looking him straight in the eye so that he couldn't lie to me.

He hesitated as he thought about what to say. "I guess I've just been having a hard time lately. Life has become really stressful with recording and school work. I don't have time to just do what I want right now and it just gets hard sometimes. Katelyn has been bothering me so much lately that it was driving me insane. I found out today that I failed a test because I had no time to study for it and I'm already having a hard time with that class. You turning me down for prom was the cherry on top of a bad day, so I just had to get away from everything. Coming here makes me feel better. I do it sometimes when I need to clear my head."

Again, I felt like there was something he wasn't telling me, but now was not the time to yell at him for not telling me. He was too vulnerable. Guilt filled my gut again as I fixated on the fact that I had to turn him down. "Alex, I'm so sorry, I really am. If I had known that you were going to ask me, maybe I would have done something different."

"It's not your fault, Swifter. I should have asked you earlier, but there was no time since we each have such busy lives now. It would have been nice to go to prom with my best friend, but at least you get to go with your other best friend."

"Too bad I can't go with both my best friends," I said, "but normally it's not socially acceptable for a girl to go with two guys. I would look like a whore, not to mention the fact that I would have to worry about girls attacking me."

He couldn't help but crack a smile. "Why would girls attack you?"

"Because I would have two hot dates, whereas they would only have one. They would especially kill me because I would have you."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Oh, come on! You can't tell me that you don't notice the way girls look at you!"

"And how is that exactly?" he asked smirking at me as I hit his arm.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about, you doofus!"

"So do you agree with those girls?"

"About what?"

"About my incredibly good looks, of course!"

"Well that's an awkward question if I ever heard one. And don't do that!"

"Don't do what?

"Don't be so cocky. The girls hate it."

"Stop stalling and answer my question."

I sighed and rolled my eyes dramatically. "Yes, I think you are attractive, ok? I already said that you were hot before. Are you happy now?" My face heated up and my cheeks burned in embarrassment. I cannot believe he just made me say that.

He smiled childishly. "Incredibly."

I smiled and nuzzled my head into his chest as I looked at Eric's gravestone.

"You should really call your parents," I said after a few minutes. "They are worried sick. I was supposed to call them if I heard anything."

"They are probably going to kill me when I get home, so it's better to just put that off for as long as possible," he said nonchalantly.

"Not if your dad creates a search party for you. Your dad called me around six asking where you were. I was freaking out too at that point because you are usually home by then on a normal day and you never answered my text. You really scared me."

"I'm sorry. I turned my phone off because I just really needed to be alone and have some time to myself to think about things for a little bit."

"Do you feel any better now?"

"Now that you're here, I feel a lot better," he said as he kissed the top of my head.

I sat up straight and smiled at him. "I'm glad. I don't want you to be upset. I was worried about you all afternoon."

"I didn't mean to worry you."

"I know. Just don't do it again. I didn't like not knowing where you were or what was going on with you."

"I'll try my very best not to make you worry."

"You better."

"Hey, Taylor?"

"Yeah?"

He looked at me with the deepest sincerity in his eyes. "Thank you for caring about me so much. I don't know what I would ever do without you. Don't ever leave me, ok? Promise me you won't leave me."

"Alex, of course I won't leave you; I could never leave you."

Neither of us could have predicted what happened next. Our bodies acted on their own accord as our heads moved closer and closer together until our lips finally touched. At first, I was stiff and hesitant, but the way his lips moved around mine made me loosen up. I couldn't help myself as I brought my hand up to the back of his head and grabbed on to his choppy hair. His hands massaged my cheeks as he continued to kiss me softly. The butterflies in my stomach must have been on crack because they were flying around like crazy.

Eventually, we both needed to catch our breath, so we pulled apart. We couldn't bare to look each other in the eye, so I awkwardly took out my red env2 phone to check the time.

"We should really go," I said. "It's almost 1:00AM and I have to get to the studio early tomorrow." I didn't realize just how long Alex and I had been here for.

"Holy shit, really?"

I nodded, so we got up and gathered our flashlights and began to walk.

"Do you remember where your car is?" he asked.

"Not really," I admitted.

"We'll walk to mine then and we'll drive around until we find yours."

"Ok, thanks."

A few minutes later, we reached his car. It took us awhile to find where I was parked. He made fun of me for parking so far away and I defended myself as usual.

"Oh yeah and Tay?" he asked as I got out of the car.

"What?" I said as I turned back to look at him. 

"Thanks again for coming after me. It means a lot."

"I had to know where you were and that you were ok. Besides, you would have done the same for me."

"You really are my best friend. No one can ever replace you. I hope you know that."

I smiled and nodded. "Yeah, I guess I do know that, but it's always nice to hear it. Ditto, by the way."

He gave me another one of those million-dollar smiles in return. "Goodnight, Swifter Wet Jet."

"Goodnight, Garth Algar." 

I got in my car and followed him back to our homes. When we were both outside our front doors, we looked over at each other and waved goodnight. As soon as I got in, I ran upstairs and started screaming and jumping, but then I realized that my curtains were open and Alex stood there staring at me and laughing. I couldn't help but laugh a little bit myself. That was the only downfall to having a window right across from his; I never had any privacy. I got out my white board and said goodnight to him for the last time and then took my pajamas into the bathroom and changed for bed. When I was finally ready, I closed the curtains, turned off the lights, and crawled into bed.

Tonight was one of those rare occasions where I was glad that I wasn't sleeping over Alex's or he wasn't sleeping over here. I had a lot to think about. The events of tonight may have answered some of my questions, but they also raised a lot more. I poised myself for a long and stressful night inside my own head.

**Chapter 28: Damned If I Do Ya (Damned If I Don't)**

_Alex's P.O.V._

It took me awhile to get to sleep that night. I couldn't get that kiss out of my mind. A long time ago, I would have thought that kissing Taylor was ludicrous, but I couldn't have been more wrong. The feeling of her lips meshing with mine just felt so right and all I wanted was to do it again. For that one single moment, our minds were both in the same place. We didn't pull away until we both needed to catch our breath. She could have pulled away from me right away, but she didn't; she seemed to be as into it as I was. That meant something, right? It had to.

I couldn't help but wonder if she still held feelings for me or if I had completely blown it with her last October. God, I was such an idiot back then. Here she was right in front of my face and loving me and I let someone else tear me away from her completely. What an asshole. She deserved so much better than that. This time, I would try my hardest to give her that.

The next question that came up in my mind was whether or not I should tell her how I feel. I fantasized about finally being with her after all this time. It would be incredible to say the least, especially if she felt the same way about me as I did about her. But, then again, what if she didn't? What if I was wrong? What if she had kissed me back just because she was afraid of hurting me? What if she didn't like me that way at all anymore? Could I still bare to be around her knowing that she didn't love me like I loved her? I already knew the answer to this one, no matter how much I didn't like it. Yes, I would still be around her if she didn't feel the same way as me; I would do everything in my power to make sure I wasn't hurting her, even if it meant hurting myself in the process.

And then there was the Jack problem. If I told Taylor how I felt and we ended up getting together, I would break my best friend's heart and that was the last thing I wanted to do. At the same time, if he and Taylor ever got together, I don't know what I would do. Being around them would be the hardest thing for me. Then again, Jack and I needed to know where Taylor stood with both of us. Any way we turned, someone was bound to get hurt. It seemed like I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. Damned if I do, damned if I don't.

A few hours later, the alarm clock went off loudly in my ear and I got up slowly. We were due to be in the studio by 10:00AM and it was now 9:15, so I got dressed, brushed my teeth and quickly ate a bowl of Honey Nut cheerios and ran out the door. When I got there, everyone was already getting ready to begin recording.

"Nice of you to show up, slow poke," joked Rian as he set up his drums.

"What? I was on time." I gave him a confused look.

"No, you're late. It's 10:01."

"Fuck you," I retorted and he laughed. "Where's my guitar?" I looked around and noticed no one had gotten it out.

"In the closet," Jack responded.

"Can you get it for me?" I asked. He was the one closest to the closet and I needed to warm up.

He gave me a dark look in response. "You can get it yourself," he said as he began to tune his own guitar.

"Oook?" I said giving him a weird look as I crossed the room to get to the closet and retrieve my guitar. Normally, he would have just handed it to me and jokingly complained about how lazy I was. Something was definitely up, but there was no time to ask him about it now.

I took a few minutes to warm up my voice and then our producer, Matt Squire, came into the room to tell us what he wanted us to do.

"What are we doing today, Matt?" Zack asked.

"I thought it would be a good idea to get a head start on 'Keep The Change You Filthy Animal' today. Is that cool?"

I laughed internally at the irony of recording that song today as I said "yes" along with everyone else.

He left the room and let us record the song in its original version. Later, we would listen to it and decide what needed to be changed.

"Ok, guys are you ready?" he asked through the intercom on the other side of the booth. He counted to three on his fingers and then pointed at us to start. We played the introduction chords and then I began to sing.

_Are you having trouble finding sleep at night,  
Or does your lack of conscience tell you every-thing's alright,  
I trust your good intentions, that you're watching over friends,  
But you must think that I"m crazy, if I don't see through that grin._

So tell me what your best friend knows, that I don't know.  
Tell me why you talk me down wherever you go.  
You're a saint, you're a queen,  
and I'm just another boy without a crown.  
Tell me why you sell me out, everywhere you go.  
I just want to know what your best friend knows. (what your best friend knows)

So vindictive, you'll say anything you like.  
The smile you fake, the steps you take,  
you know you never could get it right.  
And talk is cheap so make believe, your secrets find the grave,  
It's too late, you gave up your last chance to walk away.

So tell me what your best friend knows, that I don't know.  
Tell me why you talk me down wherever you go.  
You're a saint, you're a queen,  
and I'm just another boy without a crown.  
Tell me why you sell me out, everywhere you go.  
I just want to know what your best friend knows.

You stand a little too tall, say a little too much,  
you're gonna bite that know-it-all tongue.  
You tried a little too hard, now I'm calling that bluff,  
big plans are coming undone.  
That's just typical, you're so cynical, couldn't have me.  
I didn't want you (you set yourself up to lose),  
You're selling me out, to the girl I can't afford to lose.

You stand a little too tall, say a little too much,  
you're gonna bite that know-it-all tongue.  
You tried a little too hard, now I'm calling that bluff,  
big plans are coming undone.  
That's just typical, you're so cynical, couldn't have me.  
I didn't want you, you set yourself up to lose.

So tell me what your best friend knows, that I don't know.  
Tell me why you talk me down (talk me down) wherever you go.  
You're a saint, you're a queen,  
and I'm just another boy without a crown.  
Tell me why you sell me out (sell me out), everywhere you go.  
I just want to know what your best friend knows.

What your best friend knows,  
I'm never gonna let this go, (what your best friend knows)  
What your best friend knows 

When the song was over, Matt's voice came over the intercom again. "Ok, I'm going to be honest. That wasn't bad, but it also wasn't the best it could have been."

"Yeah because Alex was flat the whole time," said Jack angrily.

"What? No I wasn't. That's the way I was supposed to sing it. If anything, you weren't playing the chords right."

"No, it was definitely you. You sounded like a dying animal the whole time."

"Well, you obviously need to get some guitar lessons because you keep on fucking everything up!" I spat back.

He started to say something back, but then Matt cut him off. "Fellas, fellas, you're both wrong. Alex was singing on-key and Jack was playing the chords fine. I was simply saying that there are some things we need to change around to make it better."

"Whatever,": Jack scoffed. "I still think that Alex sounded like nails on a chalkboard."

When he said this, I nearly threw my guitar down and walked straight over to him.

"Dude, what the fuck is your problem?" I asked getting in his face.

"YOU!" he spat back in my face. "You are my fucking problem!"

"What the hell did I ever do to you?"

"The better question is what _didn't_ you do to me?" he said as he threw down his guitar too.

"Uhm, I think now would be a good time to take a break," said Zack as he too put his guitar down and he and Rian left the room, but watched through the window on the other side to make sure Jack and I didn't kill each other.

"What do you mean?" I asked Jack. "I have no idea what you are talking about. I didn't do anything to you."

"Oh, don't give me that bullshit. You know exactly what you did."

"No, I really don't. Enlighten me."

"YOU KISSED HER!" he screamed in my face. "YOU FUCKING KISSED HER LAST NIGHT! How could you do that to me?"

Understanding finally overcame me. Taylor must have called him and told him that we kissed last night and now he was mad at me for kissing her even though I knew he liked her too. But, then again, he asked her to prom when he knew I liked her, so that made him just as bad.

"How could you ask her to prom?" I retorted. "You knew how much that would hurt me, yet you did it anyway. I didn't fucking plan on kissing her, it just happened, ok?" I could feel my face heating up as anger boiled inside me.

"And why the hell should I believe you? For all I know, you could have been planning it all along," he responded coldly.

I gave him an incredulous look and shook my head. "I can't believe you actually think that I would purposely try to hurt you. Thanks for all the faith and the trust. In case you didn't know, yesterday was a hard day for me and I couldn't take it when Taylor told me she was going to prom with you. I went to my brother's grave and sat there the whole night. You knew how hurt I was and you didn't give two shits. You didn't even try to find me to apologize. You showed me no remorse. Some friend you are."

"Last time I checked, I didn't have to ask your permission to take her to prom. And it's not like I had any physical contact with her. You fucking kissed her! Besides, you were going to ask her to prom too anyway and you didn't come to me about it."

"That's a lie and you know it. I told you in last period that I was thinking of asking her and you said that it was fine. If you want to blame someone for that kiss, blame yourself because neither of us would have even been in that graveyard if it wasn't for you. I can't even look at you right now. I'm out of here." I busted the door open and stormed out of the room while Jack stood there dumbfounded.

"I need a break," I muttered to Matt, Zack, and Rian. "I'll be back later." I walked quickly out to my car, but Rian ran after me and climbed into the passenger seat. "Dude, what the fuck are you doing?" I asked him.

"I could ask you the same thing."

I sighed. "I already told you I need a break. I need to take a drive and clear my head."

"Ok, I'm coming with you."

I shrugged. "It's your funeral." I sped out of the parking lot and we drove in silence for a few minutes.

When Rian realized that I wasn't going to talk, he asked me, "So what happened back there?"

"Isn't it obvious?" I asked, keeping my eyes on the road. "Jack and I got into a fight."

"But a fight about what, exactly?"

I let out a long sigh. "It's a long story."

"I've got time."

"Ok well do you remember last October when I told you that Taylor kissed me and basically told me that she liked me and then I got scared and ran away?"

"Yeah and then Katelyn forced you to ignore her for two months."

"Right. Well then we finally reconnected after Eric's death and you know what happened after that."

"But then why would all of that make you and Jack fight?"

I hesitated, trying to think of the best way to put it. "I can't really explain it, but ever since we got our record contract, I've started to develop feelings for Taylor. After all that she did for me, I began to see her in a new light. I used to think of her as a sister, but now she's more than that. Without her, I would be in a deep depression. She is the reason why all my dreams are coming true. Every second I find myself wanting to be with her and wanting to pay her back somehow. When I'm not with her, I lay awake at night thinking about her and wondering what she's doing or thinking."

"It sounds like you're in love," Rian commented.

"Yeah, I think I am."

"So why don't you tell her how you feel? And I still don't see how this has anything to do with Jack."

"See, that's the hard part. A few months ago, I noticed Jack start to act differently around Taylor. He started flirting with her and being more of a gentleman around her and she seemed happy with him. That night, Jack came over my house to hang out and play video games. He came right out and asked me if I liked Taylor and I decided to tell him the truth, but then I asked him the same question in return and he said the same thing. Can you see the problem now?"

"Oh shit," Rian replied. "What are you going to do?"

"I don't know what I should do. Jack and I talked about it and decided that we didn't want it to ruin our friendship, but we also promised not to do anything physical with Taylor in front of the other one. Taylor told me a few days ago that she wasn't sure if she wanted to go to prom, so I decided that I would try to convince her to go with me. I talked it over with Jack and he said that she was fair game, so I asked her at the end of the day and she told me that she had just agreed to go with Jack."

Rian's mouth dropped open. "Wow. Are you serious?" I nodded, so he said, "What an asshole. That's not like Jack."

"Tell me about it. Never in a million years would I have thought that he could have done that to me, but I guess I was wrong. I couldn't take it, so I just lied and told them that I was staying after school. Once they left, I went straight to the liquor store. I bought a six-pack of beer and drove it to the graveyard so that I could go visit Eric. I opened a bottle, but as soon as I was about to take the first sip, my parents faces came into my mind. I knew I couldn't take the chance of drinking and driving. I couldn't let them lose another son. They wouldn't be able to make it through that. After that, I just sat there and pored out my feelings. Later, Taylor figured out where I was and came and found me. She could see how vulnerable I was. We both started reminiscing about Eric and the past and it got to be too much for her. She broke down in my arms and told me that she felt terrible for turning me down. We talked some more and then I thanked her for always being there and made her promise to never leave me and she said she never would. Then, we kissed."

"Holy shit, you kissed her even when you knew that Jack liked her too?"

"Yeah, I did, but it wasn't something I could control. It was like her lips were a magnetic field and I was being drawn to them. It just sort of happened. I'm not going to say that I regret kissing her because I don't, but I do regret that it hurt Jack. I just, I really don't know what to do, Rian." I let out another frustrated sigh as I concentrated on the road ahead of me.

"Yeah that's a tough situation if I ever saw one. Have you and Jack talked about telling her how you both feel?"

"Not really. We don't want to ruin any of our friendships. This could potentially end so badly."

"Well you should think about it because it could end badly either way. If you don't tell her, you'll always wonder what could have been and that just plain sucks."

"But then what if we tell her and she doesn't like either of us? Or what if she likes one of us and not the other? What would that do to the band. There's so much at stake. I don't want to lose everything."

"But, what if she does have feelings for one of you? Are you honestly just going to sit on those feelings? Then she would be unhappy too, which isn't what you want."

"I guess I see what you are saying and I will think about it. I just really don't even want to look at Jack right now."

Then, as if right on cue, Rian's phone started ringing. He answered it and I could hear Zack's voice from the other end.

"Where the fuck are you guys?"

"We're just driving around," Rian responded.

"Ok, well you better get back here soon, otherwise Matt will flip a shit."

"Ok we're coming," he said and he hung up the phone and turned to me. "Look, Alex, we have to go back. This whole situation fucking sucks for you, it really does, but you have to put it aside for right now and put the band's needs first. Right now, we really have to go back and finish recording. Break time is over."

I nodded. "Yeah, you're right. I'll just have to suck it up. Don't let that bastard anywhere near me though." I turned the car around and we went back to the studio. Jack and I ignored each other for the rest of the day.

**Chapter 29: Fearless**

_Taylor's P.O.V._

The whole weekend was filled with nothing but recording and I was exhausted to say the least. I had no time for anything but schoolwork and music. Part of that really sucked because I was practically dying to see Alex again. I wanted to know if things would be any different between us since the kiss, but neither of us had any time to hang out. I no longer had our car rides to rely on since we had to go back to the studio every day after school. The only time I would be able to see him was at lunch time with Jack.

When I came home the night of our kiss, I tried to fall asleep, but I couldn't, so I picked up the phone. I couldn't talk to Alex about my feelings, so I decided on the next best person: Jack. As soon as he picked up the phone, I started talking and couldn't stop. I told him everything, and I mean absolutely everything. I told him about the kiss, about how I felt bad Alex didn't have a date, and finally about how I still had strong feelings for him after all this time. For some reason, I heard Jack's breath hitch in his throat as if he had choked on something and, after I was done, he hastily got off the phone. I couldn't help but wonder what made him so upset. I had a feeling there was something he wasn't telling me, but I decided to shrug it off because there was nothing I could do about it now. Eventually, I finally fell asleep.

Monday morning, I woke up and got ready for school as usual. It just so happened that Alex and I were getting into our cars at the same time, but we had no time to talk, so we just waved to each other. I practically had to speed to get to school on time and, when I finally got there, I went straight to homeroom. My classes went on like normal and soon it was time for lunch.

I was running a little late (it seemed to be a common theme today), so I just met them both in the cafeteria. I decided to pack lunch today so that I wouldn't have to wait in the long lunch line.

"Hey, guys," I said as I walked up to the table and sat down. "What's up?"

"Nothing much," they both said looking over at me quickly and then going back to eating their lunch.

"How was recording?"

"It could have been a lot better," responded Alex. For some reason, he gave Jack a dark look, but then he continued talking. "But, we did get a lot done though."

"At least you got a lot done, but what happened that made it bad?"

"We're not allowed to say," Jack said before Alex could respond. "Matt's orders."

I nodded. Even I knew that Matt was the boss, which meant that he was not to be crossed.

"How was recording for you?" Alex asked.

"Hectic," I said. "But we got a lot done too. If all goes well, I'll be done next week and then all that's left is editing."

"That's awesome," he said smiling at me. I couldn't help but smile back.

Jack cleared his throat, so I turned to him. "Hey, Taylor, what limo company do you want to use for prom?"

"It doesn't really matter to me as long as it's not too expensive."

"Ok and what color do you want your corsage to be?"

"I haven't really thought about it, but I guess an off-white or pink. What about you?"

"I think I'll stick with plain white since I will be in a tuxedo."

"Hey Taylor?" Alex asked.

"Yes, Alex?" I turned back toward him.

"Can you please ask Jack to pass the ketchup?"

"Taylor, please tell Alex that he can get it for himself."

"Tell Jack that it's not that big a deal; it's only fucking ketchup, now can he please just pass it to me?"

"You want the ketchup? Fine, here's the fucking ketchup." Jack angrily picked up the bottle and was about to chuck it at Alex's head when I put my hand up to stop him.

"First of all, I'm not going to be the messenger girl for either of you, especially since you are both sitting right here. Second of all, someone had better tell me what the hell is going on with you two right now." They both just stared at me and neither one seemed to know what to say. I couldn't stand knowing that something had happened between them and they refused to tell me, so I gathered my stuff and got up. "You know what? Fine. You two can keep acting like immature idiots, but don't even think about talking to me until you get your shit together. I'm out of here." With that, I stormed out of the cafeteria and ate my lunch on a bench outside.

As soon as I sat down, I took out my phone and texted Rian. _Hey, do you know why Jack and Alex are mad at each other? It's driving me insane!_

A few minutes later, I got a response. _It's a long story and it's not really my place to tell you. I will talk to them about it and tell them to grow a pair._

_Haha thanks!_ I responded and then flipped my phone shut and rolled my eyes. Guys were so confusing sometimes.

It was times like these that I really wished Kara had the same lunch period as me. I needed some girl talk. Don't get me wrong, I knew a lot of other girls whether it was through class or through Alex and the band, but none of those girls were really my friends. Sometimes, it was nice to have another girl there to talk to about my problems. I decided to entertain myself for the rest of the lunch period by texting her about my problems. She always had great advice. I took my phone out again quickly started typing away my thoughts.

I went through the motions with the rest of my day. I went to class immediately after lunch. Once school was done, I got in my car and drove to the studio.

As soon as I got there, I went through the usual ritual of warming up my voice with my voice coach and then I went right into the studio to start.

Today, I would be recording a song that I had written a few months back when Alex and I had first gotten our record contracts.

"Hey, Taylor!" my producer, Nathan, greeted me as soon as I walked in. He was sitting behind the desk working on some tracks.

"Hi, Nate!" I responded. "We're recording 'Fearless' today, right?"

He gave me the thumbs up sign and motioned me to come closer to him. Before I started recording, we went over the tracking for it and talked about how we wanted the song to sound. That's the thing I really loved about Nate; he went out of his way to make sure I liked how every song was going to sound and he always made sure I agreed with what he was doing. To him, I was the most crucial person in the project and, if I didn't like it, then there must have been a problem. Once we were done hashing everything out, I went into the other room, walked over to the microphone and put my headphones on so that I could hear the track.

"Are you ready?" Nate's voice came over the intercom. I nodded, so he counted down from three on his fingers and pointed at me to start. I opened my mouth and began to sing with all the energy I could muster.

_There's somethin' 'bout the way  
The street looks when it's just rained  
There's a glow off the pavement  
Walk me to the car  
And you know I wanna ask you to dance right there  
In the middle of the parking lot  
Yeah  
Oh yeah_

We're drivin' down the road  
I wonder if you know  
I'm tryin' so hard not to get caught up now  
But you're just so cool  
Run your hands through your hair  
Absent mindedly makin' me want you

And I don't know how it gets better than this  
You take my hand and drag me head first  
Fearless  
And I don't know why but with you I'd dance in a storm in my best dress  
Fearless

So baby drive slow  
'til we run out of road in this one horse town  
I wanna stay right here in this passenger's seat  
You put your eyes on me  
In this moment now capture it, remember it

Cause I don't know how it gets better than this  
You take my hand and drag me head first  
Fearless  
And I don't know why but with you I'd dance in a storm in my best dress  
Fearless

Well you stood there with me in the doorway  
My hands shake  
I'm not usually this way but  
You pull me in and I'm a little more brave  
It's the first kiss,  
It's flawless,  
Really something,  
It's fearless.

Oh yeah  
And I don't know how it gets better than this  
You take my hand and drag me head first  
Fearless  
And I don't know why but with you I'd dance in a storm in my best dress  
Fearless

Yeah  
I don't know how  
Oh yeah yeah  


While I was singing, I couldn't help but think about the day that inspired this song.

*FLASHBACK*

My mind reminded back to February 15th, the day after Valentine's Day. It was right after Alex and I had gotten back from New York and we were still exhausted from the trip. Getting up the next day was hard to do, but somehow we managed. When the school day started, it was sunny. By the time it ended, it was rainy and overcast and neither Alex nor I had an umbrella. He met me by my locker as usual so that we could walk to the car together.

"Well this is going to be fun without an umbrella, huh?" I said as we walked out the doors of Dulaney Valley High.

"A little rain never hurt anybody."

Then, as if right on cue, the rain started pelting down upon us in sheets.

"You were saying?" I asked laughing a little bit in spite of everything.

"You know what I used to do when I was little?" he asked. "Whenever it rained, I used to make sure I stepped right into all the puddles. After awhile, I made a little game out of it. I wanted to see how many puddles I could step in each time. I used to get screamed at a lot, but it was really fun. It was kind of like playing hopscotch because I would try to only step in water if I could."

"What was your record?"

"It was pretty high up there. Somewhere in the 100's, I think."

"Really?" I asked and he nodded. "I bet you I can beat it," I challenged him.

"I bet you can't," he counteracted.

"We'll just see about that."

"Whoever steps in the most puddles on the way to the car wins. Deal?"

"You're on."

With that, we both took off jumping and splashing in every puddle we could find like the five year olds that we were. I couldn't stop laughing the whole way, even though we were both getting completely soaked in the rain. As I jumped from one puddle to another, I landed on my foot wrong and nearly fell to the ground but then a hand swooped around my waist and caught me just in time. I looked up to see who my savior was and was not surprised in the least to find that it was Alex. I could do nothing but stare into those beautiful chocolate brown eyes as his wet hair dripped onto my face. I wanted nothing more than to kiss him, but then he spoke.

"You ok?" he asked studying my face for any sign of pain. He pulled me back up until I was standing up straight again.

"Yeah," I said honestly. "I'm perfect. Thanks for catching me. I would be flat on the ground right now."

"No problem. I'm glad you are ok."

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were Edward Cullen with those reflexes," I joked.

He just shrugged. "Remember, my brother was a soccer player. He had to have those good reflexes, so he made sure I had them too."

"Thank God for Eric then," I said as we finally made it to the car. He opened the door for me like a gentleman and then walked around to the other side and climbed into the driver's seat.

"So what was your number?" he asked me when we were on the road.

"I don't know," I answered honestly. "I kind of forgot it after I almost fell." The sight of his face when he caught me wiped everything else clean from my mind.

"Looks like we'll just have to have a rematch then," he said as he turned his head away from the road for a split second to smile at me. That's when I could feel my heart melting in my chest. I watched as he reached up to run a hand through his wet and shaggy hair and then my eyes wondered down and immediately noticed how his damp clothes clung to his lean body. Even though I was freezing from the rain, I could feel my face heating up; I could barely control myself and I prayed that he wouldn't notice.

I rubbed my hands together to keep them warm. He must have noticed this because he reached out to grab my hand. Even though we had only just started holding hands yesterday, it now felt as comfortable to me as breathing. I couldn't help but smile when I looked down at our connected hands.

"Your hands are freezing," he commented.

"Yeah well it was pretty cold outside and we did get really wet," I responded.

"We'll just have to warm you up, that's all." He began to run the back of my hand with his thumb. When he first started doing this, my breath slightly hitched in my chest, but I ultimately relaxed.

When we made it home., he decided to walk me to my door.

"Alex, you really don't have to do this," I said as we walked.

"What's an extra two feet? I'm already wet. Besides, I want to make sure you don't topple to your death."

"Ha ha, very funny," I said sarcastically. "I think I can make it to the next door without tripping."

"Let's not test out that theory," he joked, but then his face turned serious. "We probably shouldn't have played that puddle game."

"Why do you say that?"

"You were wearing boots and you almost fell. I should have realized those weren't good shoes for you to be doing that kind of thing in."

"Alex, come on. Do you really think you could have stopped me? Besides, the worst that would have happened would have been that I fell and scraped me knee or something. Not a very big deal. I've done that a million times before. Remember. I'm 18, which means I have experience with that sort of thing."

He smiled and let out a soft chuckle. "You're right. I guess I'm just being an overprotective best friend."

"That's why you're my best friend," I responded. "No one else looks out for me like you do."

He just shrugged. "Someone has to have your back. I figured it might as well be me since you have mine too."

"That's pretty good logic. Anyway, I should probably go inside. I have a lot of work to do. Do you want to come in and we can do homework together?"

He scratched the back of his neck with one hand as he began to speak. "Actually, I probably shouldn't. I have this huge project due tomorrow that I didn't even start yet, so I can't really let myself get distracted, not even by you."

"Oh, ok. Text me if you finish early and then maybe we can hang out."

"Yeah, I'd like that," he said. Then, he pulled me into a goodbye hug and I could feel my lunch swooshing around in my stomach. After that, I waved goodbye and ran up to my bedroom as quick as I could. I immediately ran to my desk and got out a pen and paper and began to write about what it would have been like if I had kissed him in the rain.

I was brought back to the present reality when I heard applause coming from the other room. I looked over at Nate and he gave me two thumbs up, so I took off my headset and walked into the other room.

"That was brilliant!" he said. He looked like he wanted to run up and hug me.

"Thanks! What else do we need to do with it. Do we need to record any parts over again?"

"I think it's absolutely perfect just the way it is. We shouldn't do anything else to it."

"Really? Wow, that's a first."

"Yes it is. And you know what that means?"

"What?" I looked at him quizzically.

"It means that you get to go home early today."

My face broke into a smile yet again as I gave him and hug and he laughed. "Thank you so much, Nate! I'll see you again tomorrow after school!"

I nearly ran out of the studio and back to my car. The whole ride home I couldn't stop glowing. Days like these didn't come that often anymore, so I was going to do everything I could to make the most of my free time. When I got home, I was surprised to see that Alex's car was in his driveway. I guess they must have had another day off today. I decided that I would go drop some stuff off at my house and then go over to hang out with him and see if things had changed between him and Jack since lunch. When I got in the house, I ran up to my room quickly to drop my stuff off and reapply my makeup. I'll admit it; I wanted to look good for him.

Ironically, as soon as I ran down the stairs and was about to go out the front door, I heard a knock. When I opened it, I was surprised to find Jack standing there awkwardly.

"Hi, Taylor," he said as he anxiously itched the back of his neck. "Can I come in? I need to talk to you about something."

"Yeah, sure, of course," I said as I stepped back to let him through. We sat down next to each other on the couches in the living room. "What's up?" I asked once we were settled.

"I need to tell you something."

"What is it?"

"I-I don't know how to say it," he hesitated.

"Whatever it is, you'll feel better once you get it off your chest, so just say it."

"Ok, fine, I'll say it. I think I'm in love with you."

**Chapter 30: Just Friends**

_Taylor's P.O.V._

"I need to tell you something," Jack said. He refused to look me in the eye.

"What is it?" I asked.

"I-I don't know how to say it," he hesitated.

"Whatever it is, you'll feel better once you get it off your chest, so just say it."

"Ok, fine, I'll say it. I think I'm in love with you."

As soon as those words came out of his mouth, my whole body froze. My heart skipped multiple beats and I'm pretty sure I stopped breathing. I felt my own mouth drop open in surprise and it took all the strength I had not to slam my face into my palm. Oh no, this could not be happening...

"Say something," he said anxiously after a few moments of silence.

"Jack, I-I honestly don't know what to say," I responded breathlessly.

"Look, whatever it is, just be honest with me. That's all I ask." For the first time since he came into my house, he looked at me with those deep, puppy dog eyes.

"Ok," I said. I hesitated trying to think of the best way to voice my feelings.

"Come on, just tell me where your head is."

I nodded and looked over at him with sorry eyes and took a deep breath. "I love you, Jack, I do, but not the way you want me to. The last thing I ever want to do is hurt you. You're my best friend."

His expression was crestfallen and I could tell I had broken his heart even though he tried desperately to hide it. "Ok," he said. "That's what I thought. I just wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't tell you how I felt."

A tear escaped from my eye and I wiped it away. "I'm so sorry, Barakuda." I couldn't take the thought of hurting him.

He took me in his arms and rubbed his hand between my shoulder blades in comfort. "It's not your fault" he murmured as I cried on his shoulder.

"I can't believe I turn you down, yet I'm the one who needs comforting," I joked once I had pulled myself together a little bit. "It seems to be a trend lately."

"Don't worry about it," Jack said giving me a small smile. "But listen, I actually have to get back home. I just wanted to tell you before it was too late."

"Ok," I nodded. "Will I see you at school tomorrow?"

"Of course," he said as he got up. When he was halfway to the door, he turned around again. "Oh and Taylor?"

"Yeah?" I said looking up at him.

"I have a favor to ask."

"Anything."

"I am so sorry to do this to you, but I don't think I can go to prom with you anymore. It would just be too painful for me."

I nodded again and looked down at the floor. "I understand."

"But," he continued. "I don't want anything else between us to change after this. In fact, pretend this never happened. I don't want my feelings to get in the way of our friendship. The last thing I would ever want to do is lose you."

I looked up at him and smiled. "You got it." He smiled back and gave me a thumbs up and then turned and left.

After I heard the door slam, I went back up to my room. I didn't want to go out anymore. I didn't want to do anything except sit in my room and think about the terrible person I was to my best friends and cry. First, I hurt Alex by telling him I couldn't go to prom with him and now I broke Jack's heart and stomped on it. I didn't deserve either of them.

I thought about all those times that I had called Jack after being with Alex and told him every little detail of it. I couldn't even imagine how he must have reacted when I told him about our kiss. God, that must have hurt him so much. Why couldn't I realize what was going on and stop being so stupid and selfish? Jack deserved so much better than me and I prayed more than anything that he would find it.

As I continued on my path of self-loathing, I turned over on my bed and immediately noticed that my closet was open. There, in the middle of the chaos, was my beautiful white prom dress. I let out a long sigh as I realized that I wouldn't get to wear it and then a fresh wave of tears overtook me.

_Alex's P.O.V._

Things with Jack and I haven't gotten any better. We haven't spoken to each other at all since we had that fight. We never had a fight like this before. It felt weird not talking to him in class or texting him randomly. However, every time I laid eyes on him yesterday, I couldn't help but get angry. As far as I was concerned, we had nothing to say to each other other than band business. That bastard went behind my back. We had an agreement and he went against it. He had never betrayed me like this before and he was the last person I would expect this type of thing from. I wasn't sure if or when I would be able to forgive him.

The next day, I was still just as angry as I was before. I still couldn't get the whole situation out of my head no matter how hard I tried. In fact, I was up the whole night last night just thinking about it and wondering what I would do if Jack and I couldn't get past this. What would happen to the band? This could affect my entire future.

When I came into school the next day, I was careful not to look around me. I didn't want to see him, so I went straight to my locker and got my books. When I was done, I furiously slammed the locker shut.

"Wow, someone needs some anger management."

I turned around to see Katelyn walking toward me. I told you, this girl never gives up.

"What do you want?" I spat at her.

"I just wanted to see if you were ok," she responded. I searched for signs of a lie, but saw nothing but sincerity on her face. "I noticed that you have been pretty angry lately and I was wondering if you needed someone to talk to."

"Thanks, but I think this is something I need to deal with on my own." I said as I began to walk to class, but she followed me.

"I know this might seem kind of weird, but I want you to know that I'm here for you."

"Why?" I asked her.

"Why what?"

"Why are you here for me? I practically spat in your face the last time we talked."

She merely shrugged. "I deserved everything you said to me. Look, Alex, I know you have absolutely no reason at all to trust me, but I really do care about you. I know I totally messed up my chances with you romantically, but I want to show you that I can still be your friend if you'll let me." She gave me a questioning look, but I hesitated to answer. "Look, I know it's going to be hard to be friends, " she said, "but I think it's worth a shot. I'd rather be friends with you than nothing at all."

I wondered if I could really be her friend. She was the first girl I had ever truly loved, but then she smashed my heart to pieces. I remembered the girl back then, but then I looked at the girl now and I realized they were two different people. The girl back then would not have given two shits if I was angry, but this girl had concern written all over her face. Something about her was definitely different. I knew I could never get to that point where I wanted to date her again, but I thought I could at least be friends with this new girl. "Ok," I said giving her a small smile.

"Friends?" she asked offering me her hand to shake.

"Friends." I shook it. We walked to homeroom together.

"So you still didn't tell me what's bothering you," she prompted once we reached the classroom and sat down.

"Uhm it's just stuff with Jack and Taylor," I said vaguely.

"Look, Alex, you said we could be friends. Friends tell each other things and are there for each other. You have to try to trust me."

"Ok," I nodded. I proceeded to tell her some of the story about me, Jack, and Taylor. I didn't tell her everything though. We weren't at that point.

"Wow that sucks," she said once I finished. "What are you going to do?"

"I honestly don't know, but I have never been as pissed off at him as I am now."

"I don't really blame you. If my friend went behind my back like that, I would be angry too."

"I never really expected Jack to do anything like that and that's the worst part of it."

"He shouldn't have went behind your back and asked her to prom like that. That was definitely wrong of him."

An idea suddenly popped into my head. "Hey, do you have a date to prom yet?" I asked. She shook her head. "Do you want to go with me? It would be just as friends, of course."

She smiled at me in response. "Sounds great."

I smiled back. "Ok, good."

The bell rang, so we went to class. I told Katelyn that I would talk to her tomorrow and that really seemed to cheer her up. To be completely honest, I was sick of being mad at her all the time. Now that I was finally over her as a girlfriend, there wasn't really a reason why I couldn't be friends with her. I knew things would be better this way.

Jack wasn't there yet when I walked in to class, so I sat down in my normal spot. Five minutes into class, he busted through the door out of breath and practically ran to the seat next to me. I looked around the room and noticed that there were plenty of other desks he could have sat at.

"Nice of you to join us, Mr. Barakat," the teacher said and then continued with the lesson.

"Psssst," I heard someone whisper a few minutes later. I felt a tap on my shoulder, so I turned and saw that Jack was trying to get my attention. I stared at him, so he said, "I need to talk to you." 

"I don't have anything to say to you," I said coldly.

"But I have a lot to say to you," he whispered back. "I'll meet you at your locker before lunch." He turned his attention back to the lesson before I could say anything else. I spent the next three hours wondering what he could possibly want to talk to me about.

Finally, the bell rang for lunch. I jumped out of my seat and walked quickly to my locker. Somehow, Jack was already there waiting for me.

"Hey," he said casually as I opened my locker to drop off my books.

"Just cut the bullshit and say what you need to say,"I responded without giving him a second glance.

"Ok fine. I want to apologize." I slammed my locker and gave him my full attention. "I was wrong," he continued. "I shouldn't have asked Taylor to prom without telling you and I shouldn't have lied to you and told you to ask her after she already said yes to me. It was a real asshole thing to do and I'm sorry."

"Why did you do it?"

"Because I wanted her all to myself for a change."

"What do you mean?"

"It's so rare that I get to be with her alone. I just wanted to have her to myself."

"But you won't be alone with her anyway. Everyone else will be there hanging out with you guys."

"The difference is that she would have been mine, at least for the night."

"Would have been?"

"Yeah. We aren't going together any more."

This one small revelation made my head spin. "Wait, what? Why not? What happened?"

He took a deep breath. "I-I went to her house last night. I told her exactly how I felt about her and she said she doesn't feel the same way. Now, going to prom with her would be a lie. It would be too painful going with her knowing that I couldn't have her, so I told her we can't go together. I guess what I'm trying to say is that she's all yours now and I'm an asshole."

My mouth dropped open a little bit. "Jack, I-I'm really sorry too. I never meant for any of this to happen."

"I know," he said glumly. "It just sucks."

"It all sucks," I agreed. "What's going to happen with you two?"

"We're going to continue being friends. I made her promise me that we wouldn't let things get awkward. I don't want it to change things between us."

"That's good I guess."

"Speaking of friendship, is ours still intact?"

"What do you mean?"

"That's Jack-code for do you forgive me." He had a pleading look on his face.

"Right. I guess so."

Jack nearly jumped on me and threw his arms around my neck in happiness. "Yes! I promise that I will never ever do that to you ever again!"

"You better not," I laughed patting his back.

"Just do me a favor," he said.

"What's that?"

"Don't break her heart again. If you do, I may have to kill you and I would hate to do that."

"I'll keep that in mind."

Just then, Katelyn walked by and waved at me. I smiled and waved back at her. Jack just had a dumbfounded look on his face.

"What' the story with that?" he asked motioning to her. Luckily, she now had her back to us, so she didn't see.

"I've decided it's a waste of effort being mean to her now. She really seems like she has changed. I was really angry at you before and she could tell. She seemed genuinely concerned about me. She told me she wants to be friends."

"Are you sure that's a good idea though? I mean, she has been known to lie before."

"I can't put my finger on it, but something about her has changed and I think it's for the better. I really think she's not the same person she used to be. I could never be with her romantically again, but I don't see the harm in being friends with her. Besides, I haven't seen her hanging out with anyone else lately, so I think she really needs a friend."

He shrugged. "It's your funeral," he said.

We finally reached the door to the cafeteria, but I stopped Jack before he could open it.

"Wait! Before you go in there, there's something I have to tell you."

"What's up?"

"Don't freak out or anything, but I kind of asked Katelyn to go to prom with me."

"Why the hell would you do that?"

"We both needed a date. I figured it would be a good way for us to get more comfortable being friends. I wouldn't have asked her if I knew you weren't going with Taylor anymore." I put my hand on my forehead in stress."

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know. I would love to go with Taylor more than anything, but I can't just tell Katelyn that I can't go with her anymore. That's not fair, especially since I just asked her today.

"Yeah, that's tough. I'm sorry I put you in that position, dude. If I never asked her, you would be going with her and not even thinking about Katelyn."

"It's not your fault," I said, "But we should probably go sit down before Taylor sends a search party after us."

We walked into the cafeteria toward Taylor. It figured that the day I asked another girl to the prom would also be the day that I found out that the girl of my dreams had just become available. Fuck my life.

**Chapter 31: He's The Only One Who's Got Enough of Me to Break My Heart**

_Taylor's P.O.V._

I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw Alex and Jack walk into the cafeteria together. This must have meant that they worked out whatever issues they had between each other. I was so sick of being the mediator between them.

"Hey guys!" I smiled brightly at both of them as they sat down on either side of me like usual. "So have you two finally made up?"

"Yeah, we did," responded Jack.

"What were you guys really fighting about anyway?" I pressed.

"We told you before," Alex responded. "It was really just stupid band stuff, but everything is fine now." Somehow, I always knew when he was lying. He seemed to be doing a lot of that lately.

"But you guys have had stuff like that happen before and you got over it in like five minutes. You went days without speaking to each other this time, so it must have been a really big deal," I continued. I wasn't going to give up that easily today.

"Really it was just us being stubborn," said Jack. "Neither of us like to admit when we are wrong, so we just didn't talk to each other. Eventually, we realized our friendship is more important than some dumb ass fight, so we apologized to each other." Now Jack was in on it too. What the hell were they both lying to me about? This wasn't like them. I would have to find a way to get to the bottom of it, but I knew it couldn't be through either of them because they would probably just continue to lie about it.

"I'm glad," I said. "Now I don't have to worry about you two biting each other's heads off during every lunch period.

"We weren't that bad, were we?" said Jack.

I rolled my eyes at him. "You were each like tigers about to pounce on their prey and rip its guts out. It got kind of scary."

"That bad, huh?" said Alex and I nodded. "Well, I'm sorry we put you through that then."

"It's all good just as long as you guys are good."

"We're good, but not good together," Jack commented.

Alex just gave him a weird look. "What the fuck does that mean?"

"We're not good together because we're both straight. Duh!"

"You are so strange sometimes," Alex responded. "I hope you know that."

"You know you love me," Jack said, smiling at him.

"Now you're quoting Gossip Girl. Really, Jack, are you sure you're not gay?" Alex asked him.

"I'll admit that sometimes I get a little bit confused, but yes, for the most part, I'm straight."

"The real question to me is why can you two 'manly men' quote Gossip Girl?" I asked them mischievously.

They both looked slightly uncomfortable and I couldn't help but giggle. "Well, uhm, you see..." Alex began. His face began to turn slightly red, which just made me laugh even harder.

"Wait a minute, wait a minute," I said, putting a hand up to stop him. "You mean to tell me that both of you have been making fun of me for the shows I watch and you guys watch Gossip Girl?" When they both looked at me sheepishly, I burst into a fit of hysterical laughter.

"We were bored one night watching TV and we happened to stumble upon it, so we watched it. Then, we never actually stopped watching it," Jack finally admitted.

"All this time you have been making fun of me for watching teen dramas, but you secretly watched Gossip Girl," I teased. "What hypocrites! I'm a little hurt that you didn't tell me so that I could watch it with you. Gossip Girl is one of my favorite shows."

"Well maybe we just didn't want you to think less of our manliness," Alex said pretending to get defensive.

"If you let me watch with you, I promise not to make fun of your diminishing masculinity," I said.

Alex and Jack looked at each other. "I don't know, dude," said Jack. "Should we let her in on our weekly ritual?"

I turned down my bottom lip into a sad puppy dog face and looked at Alex. "Please?" I begged. "Pretty please with everything you want on top?"

"Fine!" he said, immediately giving in. "No fair! You know I can never turn you down when you give me that face."

"Yes!" I cheered pumping both of my fists into the air. "And maybe afterward, we can do our hair and paint our toenails!"

"Or we could just not do it at all," Alex said in a warning voice.

"Sorry, I just had to throw that one last joke in there. I'm done now," I responded. We moved on to other subjects, but somehow I couldn't keep the smile from my face as I pictured Alex and Jack glued to the TV every Monday night watching Gossip Girl. Now, they probably knew more about designer clothing and the scandalous life of Serena Van Der Woodsen than I did. It was almost as good as picturing them watching episodes of Sex and the City with cosmos in hand.

Gossip Girl wasn't on this week, so we decided to meet at Alex's house to watch it whenever it was on next. Half an hour later, the last lunch bell rang and we filed out of the cafeteria.

No matter what I did, I could not seem to concentrate on my classes that afternoon. I couldn't stop wondering what it was that Jack and Alex had been lying to me about. What was it that neither of them wanted me to know? Ugh, sometimes boys just drove me off the wall. I wanted to tear my hair out of my scalp.

When I was finally able to get myself to stop thinking about that, I distinctly heard one of my classmates mutter the word "prom" to the girl next to her. As you can imagine, that brought a whole new train of thought into my mind. Since Jack no longer wanted to go with me, who would I go with? My parents told me many times that I was not allowed to go to prom without a date. They were very old-fashioned like that. Then, I began to think about Alex. Would I be a horrible person if I asked him to go with me after I had just turned him down for Jack. Would it seem like I had chosen to go with him only because I had no other options? That was the last thing I ever wanted him to think because it was the farthest thing from the truth.

But, then again, he had asked me, right? And I told him that the only reason why I couldn't go with him was because I was going with Jack. Surely, that had to mean something. I'm sure that Jack must have told him about what happened by now. I decided that I would bring up the subject when I saw him at the end of the day.

A few hours later, I slammed my locker shut and zipped up my backpack. For once, I was done before Alex, so I headed over to his locker.

"Hey," I said when I got there and leaned against the wall beside him as he packed up his backpack.

"Hey yourself," he responded. "It's about time you come to visit me. I'm sick of doing all the walking all the time."

"Oh boohoo. God forbid you have to walk a whole ten feet to come to my locker," I retorted sticking my tongue out at him.

"It gets to be tiring after awhile."

"Ok, Grandpa, I'll be sure to buy you a cane for your next birthday," I chuckled. He couldn't help but crack a smile.

"So what's up?" he asked me.

"Nothing really, but I do have a question," I responded.

"Shoot."

"By any chance, did you ever get a date to the prom?"

He shifted on his feet uncomfortably and looked down at the floor. "Uhm, yeah, actually I did." He hesitantly looked up to see my reaction.

"Oh..." I said. Suddenly, all the wind was knocked out of me and I felt as if I had been punched in the gut. I looked away from him. "Who is she?" I asked quietly.

"Actually, it's-it's Katelyn," he nearly choked out.

I never knew I could be so infuriated by one simple answer. "What?" I exclaimed, now looking him straight in the eye.

"Look, don't be mad, ok? It just sort of happened this morning." 

"Why the hell would you want to go to prom with that bitch?" I asked angrily.

"I don't know, I guess I feel bad for her. I can't put my finger on it, but something about her has changed. She's a different person now."

"So you just magically trust her again after all the shit she has put you through and all the horrible lies she has said about me?"

"No, it's not like that."

I threw my arms up in the air in anger and frustration. "Well then what is it like, Alex. Please, enlighten me."

"She's just a friend. If I had known that you and Jack weren't going together anymore, I would have gone with you in a heartbeat."

"Oh, so then I would have just been your pity date? You would have gone with me because you knew I lost the date I had? Thanks a lot." I turned on my heal and began to walk away, but then Alex grabbed my arm and spun me around to face him.

His eyes were sincere when he said, "Taylor, you know it's not like that. I asked you to go to prom with me before I even considered going with anyone else. I would much rather go with you, but I can't just cancel on Katelyn, especially when I just asked her this morning. That's just not right."

"Whatever," I nearly spat at him. "Just don't come crawling back to me when she breaks your heart again. It would be like last fall times two."

When I said this, I could tell that I had hurt him from the look on his face, but, for some reason, I just didn't care. I turned around and walked out the front door of Dulaney Valley High, leaving Alex Gaskarth behind.

When the anger finally subsided, I was left with numbness in my heart. I couldn't allow myself to feel anything else. I knew I would break down if I did. I got in my car and drove to the studio, trying desperately to keep my mind blank on the way. My eyes stared emotionlessly at the road ahead of me.

When I finally got there, Nate greeted me and announced that we would be working on "Teardrops on My Guitar" today. As if I needed any more reminders of the past...

As I sang the song, all that numbness I was clinging to slipped through my fingers and crashed to the floor, leaving me with no idea how to clean up the shattered pieces of my heart. I tried desperately to sing as if I wasn't crying. By the time the song was done, I had to run to the bathroom so that no one would see me break down into hysterics.

For a short time, I had made the mistake of allowing my hopes to go up. Throughout this afternoon, I had fantasized about what it would be like to be Alex Gaskarth's date to the senior prom. I thought about how, for one night, he would be mine. We would float across the dance floor and every other couple would be completely jealous of just how in love we both obviously were. But, that was only in my imagination. Fantasies like that made it so much harder to accept reality.

Now, Alex was going to prom with Katelyn. I had never been more jealous of her in my life. She always seemed to get him just when I wanted him and she had him wrapped around her tiny little fingers. God, how I hated that girl... I wanted nothing more than to punch her in her pretty little face.

I crawled up into a fetal position on the floor of the bathroom and rocked back and forth against the wall. How on earth did I wind up here? I had gone from having two possible dates to prom to having nobody. It felt pretty damn humiliating, not to mention lonely.

**Chapter 32: I Want To Fall So In Love With You And No One Else**

_Taylor's P.O.V._

Things didn't get much better after that. As I thought about the things I had said to Alex earlier that day, I realized that maybe he was right. I had no right to tell him who he could go to prom with. After all, he asked me first and I had to turn him down. If he really wanted to go to prom with Katelyn, then I wouldn't stop him. It wasn't fair of me to expect that he didn't have a date and it wasn't fair of me to turn him down and then change my mind once I didn't have a date anymore. How selfish was I?

Later that night, I went over to Alex's to tell him that I was sorry. He basically told me the same thing he said this afternoon; he wished he could go with me, but he can't just turn on Katelyn. For some odd reason, I admired him for that. He made a promise to someone and, as much as he may have wanted to, he refused to back out of it. Whenever that boy makes a promise to anyone, he makes damn sure to keep it. I just wish I was the someone he made that promise to.

Nothing of too much consequence happened over the next month and a half. I finished recording my first album, which was a huge relief. That crazy recording schedule was really starting to take its toll on me. Occasionally, I had to go back into the studio and track some new vocals for editing purposes, but that was no big deal. For the most part, life was normal again.

Alex and I had gone back to carpooling together since All Time Low finished recording around the same time as I did. It was nice to have that extra time with him again. I can't tell you how much I've missed it. Sometimes, we would even pick a house and just spend the rest of the day and night there doing anything ranging from homework to watching movies to playing video games (just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I can't beat anybody's ass at Halo) to writing songs together. Things were great between us, awesome even, but every time I looked at him, I was reminded that I still couldn't have him the way I wanted him.

After a lot of thought, I came to the conclusion that, if I couldn't go to prom with Alex, then I didn't want to go at all. I didn't want to have a date that was second best. If I couldn't have the time of my life at prom, then it wasn't worth it. I wouldn't be happy if I went with anyone else and it wouldn't be fair to my date. I decided to just sit back and listen as everyone else talked about what they were going to do for prom.

Now it was May 27th, the day before prom and the whole school was abuzz with excitement and speculation about what the night was going to be like. I sighed as I walked down the hallway to my locker at the end of the day. While everyone else would be at prom tomorrow night, I would be at home studying for a calculus test next week. Even though I didn't really have to worry about grades any more, I still wanted to graduate with the highest of honors.

Just as I opened my locker, I felt my phone buzz in my pocket, so I took it out and read the text message I had just received. I smiled when I saw it was from Kara.

_Hey, you!_ It said. _What are you up to this afternoon?_

_Nothing, why?_ I responded. _What's up?_

Not even a minute later, I got a text back. _I need to run to the mall to pick some last minute stuff up for __prom,_ it said. _Do you want to come with me?_

_Sure, sounds great,_ I responded.

Two seconds later, I got another text. _Meet me at the front entrance in five minutes._

As soon as I read it, I slammed my locker shut and walked over to Alex's.

"Hey," I said when I got there. "I just wanted to let you know that I am going to the mall with Kara, so I won't be riding home with you today."

"Ok," he nodded. "Have a good time. Jack and I are going to pick up our corsages later, but maybe we'll run to the mall too."

"Oh well then I hope you two have fun also. Tell Jack I said hi for me." I turned around to leave, but I heard him call my name a few seconds later. "Hey, Taylor?"

"Yeah?" I asked, turning back around to face him.

"I'll miss you," he said smiling at me.

And that's when my stomach started doing back flips.

Half an hour later, I found myself walking through Towson Center Mall beside my very best girlfriend. It had been awhile since Kara and I had really hung out and I really missed her.

"Thanks for asking me to come with you," I said to her. "I really needed this."

"You know I wouldn't think of asking anyone else. Thanks for being here to help me with all this stuff. I just wish that we could be doing this for you too."

"Yeah," I sighed. "Me too."

"Well then what are we doing? You already have a dress. All you need now is some jewelry. It's not too late to go, Taylor."

I shook my head. "No, I can't. I don't want to go without Alex. The whole time I would just be looking at him with Katelyn and it would hurt. I don't want to put myself through that."

"But, if you go, you could make him eat his heart out. He would see just how beautiful you look and realize what he's missing," she insisted.

"That would happen in a fantasy world, but not reality."

"Don't be so pessimistic," she chided me. "You never know what could happen."

"That's true, but I don't want to go alone and watch him dance with her the whole night."

"But you won't be with just him. You'll have me, Rian, Jack, Zack, and his date and other people I'm sure."

"I know, but it wouldn't be the same."

"I just don't see why you have to let him ruin this for you. It's your night just as much as it is his."

"I've always had this fantasy in my head that prom would be one of the best nights of my life. If I can't go with him, then it won't be. If I'm going to pay so much money for a ticket, a dress, a limo, and God knows what else, it had better be worth it. Without him, it wouldn't be, at least not for me."

"If you want to be with him so much, then why don't you fight for him?"

"Because I already fought for him last fall and I failed. He didn't feel the same way about me and I was completely heartbroken. I can't put myself out there like that again, especially if his feelings haven't changed. I would rather have him as a friend than nothing at all, but if he breaks my heart like that again, I don't think I'll be able to get past it."

Kara just looked at me and sighed. "It's your funeral," she said as we continued to walk. She decided that she wanted to go to Macy's to pick out some jewelry to go with her dress. She asked for my opinion on some of the pieces and I gladly gave it to her. We didn't talk about Alex and I anymore, which was a relief because I really needed to get my mind off everything. After that, it was just a fun girls' day at the mall.

_Alex's P.O.V._

After Taylor told me that she was going to the mall with Kara, I was a little disappointed. Prom weekend was about to be upon us, which meant that I wouldn't get to see her that much since I wasn't going with her. I really wanted to spend that time with her before the weekend came because I thought I wouldn't get to see her much after. Maybe it was selfish of me, but I wanted to see her as much as possible.

After I watched Taylor leave, I sighed and took out my phone.

_Hey, do you want to go pick up the corsages now instead of later?_ I texted Jack.

_Sure, dude, sounds good,_ was Jack's response.

I followed him to his house so that he could drop his car off. Then, he hopped into mine and we set off for the florist. A few minutes later, I turned into the parking lot and we walked in and bought our corsages.

"Where's Taylor?" he asked after we got back in the car.

"She went to the mall with Kara."

"She must be feeling pretty sucky now that prom is actually here."

"What do you mean?"

"She has to sit around and listen while everyone else talks about how excited they are about it and yet she doesn't even have a date."

"I know what you mean. I feel really bad because she told me that her parents said they wouldn't let her go if she didn't have a date, so now she has to miss out on it."

"I shouldn't have just changed my mind on her like that. I probably really screwed her over."

"And I shouldn't have asked Katelyn to go with me before I saw her that day."

"You couldn't have known that that I wasn't going with her anymore."

"Yeah, but still. I just wish I was going with her instead of Katelyn. I would have a much better time with her. Now she's going to be sitting home while we're all out at prom."

"Maybe you shouldn't go with Katelyn then," Jack said. Even though I was looking at the road in front of me, I could feel Jack's stare boring into me.

"What do you mean? I can't just drop Katelyn last minute. That's pretty cold-hearted."

"But, dude, you don't owe her anything. She stomped all over you."

"Yeah, but if I back out on her, that makes me just as bad as she was. I don't want to be the guy that backs out on her if she really is changing. She knows that we can only ever be friends and she's ok with it. I told her that if she tries anything weird then I'm out and she agreed."

"You don't have to be the hero though. You don't have to be the one that changes her."

"I'm not trying to be, but I don't think it would be right if I backed down on her."

"So let me get this straight. You love Taylor, but you don't want to back out on Katelyn."

"Pretty much, yeah."

"Even if that means that Taylor has to have a miserable night while we are all at prom?"

That one simple question stopped me in my tracks. I was going to go to prom with another girl, while my best friend, the girl I loved, was going to be alone.

"I'm a terrible person," I responded.

Jack let out a long sigh. "Look, Alex, you aren't a terrible person, ok? You're trying to have your cake and eat it too, which isn't quite possible."

"I don't think I can have a good time unless she is there though. I just wish there was a way to make everyone happy."

Jack was silent for a minute. It appeared that this was one of those rare occasions where he was seriously thinking about something. "What's on your mind?" I finally asked him.

"I have an idea," he said slowly, still trying to work out the kinks in his head.

"Uh oh! Sound the alarms! Jack has an idea," I joked. "What does this so-called idea consist of?"

"You'll see," he said mysteriously. "Drop me off at my house please."

I did as he asked, but he refused to tell me anything more about his idea. To be honest, that scared me a little bit because his last idea almost got us arrested. It's a good thing we were able to convince the cops that we were, in fact, 21 years of age. I guess I will just have to wait and see...

_Taylor's P.O.V._

Kara and I had just finished picking out a beautiful pearl necklace that went with her dress when I got a text message from Jack.

_Hey, are you home?_ It read.

_No, but I will be soon,_ I responded. _What's up?_

_I need to see you. What time do you think you'll be home? _He asked.

_Kara and I are almost done here, so I can probably be home in about half an hour._

He immediately responded with a text that said, _Ok then I will meet you at your house in half an hour._

I shut my phone with a confused frown. "Huh. That was weird."

"What's wrong?" asked Kara as we walked out of the store.

"Jack just texted me. He said he needs to see me right away."

"Why?"

"I have absolutely no idea. He wants to meet me at my house in half an hour. It sounds kind of urgent almost."

"That's odd. Do you have any idea what it could be about?"

"Nope," I said. "I have no idea what he wants."

Twenty-five minutes later, I thanked Kara again for taking me with her. As she pulled up to my house, I was surprised to see that Jack's car was already parked in the front and he was sitting on the bench on the front porch waiting for me.

"Well I guess someone is a little impatient," said Kara as she waved to Jack from the driver's seat. "You'll have to call me later and tell me what he says."

"Ok," I said as I got out of the car. "Will do. If I don't see you tomorrow, I hope you have a great time at prom."

"Thanks," she responded. "I really wish you were coming."

"Me too," I said. "I'll see you later." I shut the car door and waved as she drove away. Then, I walked up to the front door and let both Jack and myself into my house.

"So what was so urgent that you had to see me right away?" I asked as we sat down on the couch.

"I need to talk to you about Alex."

"What about him."

"He loves you."

"I know. We've been best friends our whole lives."

"No, Taylor, you don't get it. He's in love with you."

When Jack said that, my breath caught in my throat and I almost couldn't believe my ears. "H-how do you know?"

"It's written all over his face every single time he lays eyes on you. Plus, he told me. Why do you think we had that huge fight? I found out that he kissed you and got mad and he was pissed at me for asking you to prom. Just today he told me that he couldn't have a good time at prom unless you were there with him. He even told me once that if I was the one that made you happy, he would support you, even though it would kill him. He loves you so much."

"Why doesn't he tell me that himself then?" At this point, I was so overwhelmed that I was seriously having trouble breathing.

"Because he's a big fat chicken. He doesn't think you still feel the same way about him as you used to and he doesn't want to ruin the friendship in case you don't feel the same way." Suddenly, he stopped and looked me straight in the eye. "You do still love him, don't you?"

"Yes, of course I do," I responded. "What do you think I should do?"

"Do you still have your prom dress?" he asked.

I nodded. "It's upstairs in my closet. What are you getting at?"

"I think I have a plan," he said.

He proceeded to tell me every little detail this plan consisted of and I personally thought it was brilliant, which is surprising because usually Jack isn't this creative. Awhile later, we had everything all worked out, so he left. After that, I went upstairs and made sure my curtains were closed so that Alex would not be able to see into my room. Then, I walked over to my closet and got out my beautiful white prom dress and smoothed it out on my bed. I could do nothing but smile; I was so glad that I would be able to wear this dress after all.

A few minutes later, I took my cell phone out of my pocket and called Kara.

"Hello?" came her voice on the other line.

"Hey," I said. "I need your help."

**Chapter 33: You Belong With Me**

_Taylor's P.O.V._

As soon as I got everything straightened out with Kara, I got into bed, but sleep was far from my mind. I couldn't stop worrying that something would go wrong with the plan. This had to work out right or my whole future could be jeopardized. There were two possible outcomes: Alex would tell me he loved me, or I would make a complete fool out of myself. Only time would tell.

Even though Jack told me that Alex loved me, a part of me doubted it. Maybe Jack had misunderstood Alex when he said that or maybe Alex just meant that he loved me as a friend. Either way, I had to find out. Now that Jack said that, I had to hear Alex's true feelings for me directly from his own mouth. It would make me or break me.

Soon, my alarm went off and it was time to start this crazy day that would change everything in one way or another. First was the nail appointment. I decided on a white on white French manicure to go with my dress: simple, yet elegant.

After the nail appointment, I went back home and tied my hair back and put on my big glasses. It would be awhile until my hair appointment and I had to make sure Alex would think that I wasn't going tonight. I plopped down on my bed and took out a textbook.

It caught my attention when I noticed his light turn on next door. Jack told me that Alex said he needed to get ready early because Katelyn's parents weren't available to take pictures later, which worked out very well for our plan. I couldn't help but gawk at how handsome he looked and I was so grateful that his back was turned to me as he studied himself in the mirror. He wore a white shirt with a black vest and a black bow tie over it. It seemed he had actually taken the time to straighten his hair and push it off to one side of his face so that it lay in thick tufts just above his right eye. God, how I wanted that boy!

When he turned around, I quickly looked down at my book again pretending to study. A few seconds later, I saw the light of his laser blinking twice through my window, so I grabbed my white board from my nightstand and looked out the window at his gorgeous face.

**You going tonight?** He wrote. I told him I would be home, but I guess he thought I would change my mind.

**No, studying, **I wrote back.

**Wish you were!** He then proceeded to draw a sad face. That one simple statement gave me hope that maybe tonight would work out after all.

**Have a great time!** I wrote back.

**Thanks! **He smiled at me and waved and then walked out of his room.

As soon as I saw his car leave his driveway, I ran over to my nightstand and picked up my phone to call Kara.

"Hey, he just left," I said when she answered the phone.

"Great," she replied. "Now, remember what we discussed before. You'll go to your hair and makeup appointment while we are all getting our pictures taken. Then, you'll come back to your house and get into your dress. The limo should be there to pick you up around 6:30. Jack said the driver would drop all of us off at prom first and then he would come back for you. Do you still have your ticket?"

"Yeah Jack bought it for me when we were supposed to go together and I never got rid of it."

"Good, so you can be ready by 6:30?"

"Yup. I can't believe I'm actually doing this," I breathed.

"I can't wait to see Alex's face when he sees how beautiful you are going to look. It's going to be great."

"Thanks for all your help, Kar," I said sincerely. "I honestly don't think I could have pulled this off without you." Kara's mom was a beautician, so she pulled some strings to get me a last-minute appointment.

"You would have done the same thing for me," she responded. "Anyway, I'd better go. I have to go get ready myself. Call or text me if something happens. I can't wait until tonight! Good luck!"

"Ok, will do and thanks!" I hung up the phone and looked at my watch. It was just about time to go to my hair and makeup appointment, so I grabbed my keys and left.

By the time 6:15 came around, I was ready and anxiously waiting for the limo to get here. I decided to stay simple with my hair too. It laid in soft curls against my shoulders and had about five pounds of hairspray in it since it was so thick. The tip of my hair hung down to the top of my strapless white dress. The dress had a row of silver jewels that wrapped all around it with one square blue jewel in the middle. The center of the dress created a pyramid of material with the blue jewel at the top as its peak. My mom lent me long diamond earrings that dangled and gleamed from my ears and I wore a thick silver bracelet on my right wrist to complete the look.

For the past fifteen minutes, I have been doing nothing but posing for pictures. My mom was so overcome that she was practically in tears. She couldn't believe her baby had grown up so fast and was now on her way to her senior prom. In fact, when I told her I had changed my mind about going last night, she was almost happier than I was.

Finally, the limo arrived, so I hugged my parents goodbye and got in. As soon as I left, I texted Kara and Jack to let them know I was on my way. I may have been leaving my house dateless, but I prayed I wouldn't come back the same way.

Twenty minutes later, I thanked the driver and stepped out of the limo. I took a deep breath and walked straight into the Baltimore National Aquarium. I entered the ballroom to find several of my classmates already on the dance floor. I searched and searched until my eyes finally settled on their destination. When he saw me, his face lit up into the happiest smile I have ever seen and he began to make his way toward me. _Here goes nothing,_ I thought.

_Alex's P.O.V._

Today was finally the day we had all been waiting for. Everyone else had been so excited about it, but I began to feel like going with Katelyn was a chore; if I didn't do it, I would get in trouble. I didn't want to go tonight; in fact, I was dreading it. Since Taylor wasn't coming at all, I was left with this giant empty feeling in my stomach. It wasn't going to be any fun without her. I was going to spend the whole time wondering where she was or what she was doing.

When my alarm went off, I got up and immediately got in the shower. I made sure to take as long as possible to get ready. I did everything I could to draw everything out so that I would not have to leave my house. I spent a good half an hour in front of the mirror trying to straighten out my tuxedo so that it looked just right. Of course it was just my luck that I needed to be ready earlier than everybody else. Katelyn's parents had something going on tonight, so they were making us take pictures mid afternoon. What bullshit.

When I turned around to grab my jacket, my heart sank as I saw Taylor studying on her bed with her hair tied back and her big glasses on the tip of her nose. I didn't want to leave yet, so I got my laser and pointed it at her window. I picked up my white board from the top of my desk and wrote, **You going tonight?** Even though I already knew her answer, I couldn't help but hope.

When she wrote back, **No, studying,** my heart sunk even more. I wished more than anything I could just stay with her, but I was too deep in over my head now.

**Wish you were!** I wrote back. I drew a sad face to enforce my feelings.

**Have a great time!** She wrote. I hoped what I had just said would somehow change her mind, but it didn't.

I wrote, **Thanks!** and then gave her a little stupid wave. _I wish you were my date more than anything,_ I thought. _I love you._ Then, I turned around and left. I couldn't prolong the inevitable any longer.

I told my parents that I was ready and we all piled into my car and headed to Katelyn's house where we would take the pictures. Driving to her house was like second nature to me even though I hadn't been there in a very long time. When we got there, I knocked on the large dark brown double front doors and peaked through the oval-shaped glass in the center of one of them. We heard scurrying footsteps and then the door opened to reveal Katelyn's hot mother, Rachel Gander.

Katelyn looked just like her mother. Her mother had that same reddish brown hair, deep green eyes, pale skin, and tall, slender body. The only difference in their appearance was their facial structure and their height; Rachel was slightly taller than her daughter. She opened the door wider and graciously welcomed us inside. Luckily, I didn't have to worry about any introductions because my parents had already met Katelyn's parents back when we were going out.

"Katelyn!" Mrs. Gander called up the stairs. "Alex and his family are here, so hurry up and get down here so that we can take the pictures."

"Ok I'm coming, I'm coming," came a voice from upstairs. A few seconds later, I looked up and watched Katelyn descend down the staircase. In a classic, cliché moment like this, she would have taken my breath away, but she didn't. Don't get me wrong, she definitely looked good in her long, strappy red dress, but her beauty was nothing of what it used to be in my eyes. Her beauty shied in comparison to someone else's.

"How do I look?" she asked me as she got to the bottom.

"You look good," I told her and it wasn't a lie.

"Thanks." She smiled at me.

Her dad joined us and we began to take the pictures. I placed the red rose corsage I had gotten her on her wrist and she pinned a white rose to my jacket pocket. We proceeded to get pictures all over her house, both inside and out. In each and every picture, I wished that Taylor was the girl in my arms instead of Katelyn.

An hour later, we were finally done with the first batch of pictures, so my parents, Katelyn, and I piled back into my car and headed to Rian's house where we would take group pictures and the limo would pick us up from there. Once we got there, we went through the same motions as last time, except this time, each picture was a different pose and we stood in all different places and orders. By the time we were finally done, all seven of us were exasperated and ready to leave.

The limo arrived at 5:30 to pick us up, since prom would start at 6:00. We got into the limo and waved goodbye to our parents as we drove away. Jack searched the vehicle and found a bottle of champagne and some glasses, so he filled them up and passed them out.

"I would like to propose a toast," he said when he finished filling up his own glass. We all raised our glasses in the air and listened to what he was about to say. "To tonight," he continued. "May it be a night that changes everything." He looked straight at me when he said the last part for some reason.

"To tonight," we all chorused and then clinked our glasses together and drank.

Soon, the limo pulled up to the curb of the aquarium and we all got out. The driver told us that he would be back later to pick us all up and drove off. We all presented our tickets at the front door and proceeded inside.

The lights on the walls and the strobe lights surrounding the dance floor served as the only sources of light in the large ballroom. Each door or archway was engulfed in tiny lights. The dance floor in the center of the room had tables and chairs all around it with the DJ's table against the right wall in the middle of it. In the back left corner of the room stood a memory wall where students could go to write their favorite memories of senior year. All in all, the room seemed like the perfect prom atmosphere.

As soon as we found a table and put some of our stuff down, Kara and Jack excused themselves saying that they both had to go to the bathroom. That seemed kind of odd to me, but I shrugged it off. Waiters came to our table and we put in our drink orders. After that, Rian went off to talk to some of his other friends and Zack and his date Laura wanted to dance, leaving Katelyn and I alone at the table.

"I'm really glad you asked me to prom, Alex," she said after a few minutes.

"Me too," I responded. I left out the fact that I wanted her to be Taylor.

Five minutes later, Kara and Jack finally returned and joined us at the table. When they saw that I noticed they were whispering back and forth, they abruptly stopped. Those two were definitely up to something. I would have to find out what it was later.

"So, Jack, why didn't you bring a date?" Katelyn asked.

"I figured I may arrive at prom dateless, but I sure as hell wouldn't go home dateless," he responded. "You see, I think of it like this: there are plenty of hot girls here that don't have dates, so I will just take one of them home at the end of the night."

"Good luck with that, buddy," I chuckled. "Did you ever wonder if maybe there was a reason why some of them don't have dates?"

"Nah, some of these girls are just begging for a Jack Attack in the sack."

Everyone at the table burst into laughter.

The DJ announced that dinner was now served, so we all got up and joined the buffet line. We said hi to some of our other friends and got our food and then sat back down. As I had previously predicted, Taylor was the only thing on my mind as I ate. What was she doing right now? Had she already eaten dinner? As soon as I was about to excuse myself and go to the bathroom to call her, the DJ's voice once again sounded into the microphone.

"Hey kids!" he said. "I hope you are all having a great time so far. I'm going to take the time to slow it down a little bit while some of you are still eating, but feel free to get those feet out of the dance floor." He began to play "Wasted" by Carrie Underwood.

"I love this song!" Katelyn gushed and then she turned to face me. "Alex, will you dance with me?" I nodded, so she took my hand and led me out onto the dance floor. She wrapped her hands around my neck and I placed mine on her hips.

"I really missed you after I lost you," she said. "I made a huge mistake and I'm sorry for how much I hurt you."

"At least you realize all the mistakes you've made."

"I'm trying to be better," she agreed. "You didn't deserve what I did to you and I want to make it up to you."

"Good for you," I said. "But, don't do it for me, do it for yourself. I know you are capable of being a better person."

"Thank you for having faith in me," she responded.

I shrugged. "Someone's got to."

She stood on her tiptoes, closed her eyes and began to move her head closer to mine. Once I realized what she wanted to do, I moved my head back.

"I'm sorry, Katelyn, but I can't do that," I said and she opened her eyes.

"Oh God, Alex, I'm so sorry," she said. "I'm such a moron."

"You're not a moron. I just don't have those feelings for you anymore."

"I never should have done that. I knew you don't have the same feelings for me, yet I tried to kiss you anyway."

"It's really ok," I said. "Don't worry about it."

"No, it's not. This whole time, I noticed that your mind was somewhere else and I couldn't help but notice that Taylor wasn't riding in that limo with us. I saw that longing in your eyes. I can tell that you love her. She's the one that should be here with you right now, not me. You deserve to be happy, Alex, so go do what makes you happy." With that, she let go of me and walked away.

For a moment, I stood in the middle of the dance floor still trying to comprehend what had just happened. I realized that she had released me of my obligation to her. I was now free to do whatever I wanted. I decided that I would go call a taxi to take me back home. It was time for me to go get my girl. However, when I turned around, I saw an angel in a white strapless dress. I blinked to make sure my eyes weren't playing tricks on me. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever laid eyes on. She was the one who took my breath away. I made my way toward her and she met me in the middle of the dance floor.

"Hi," she said nervously.

"Hi," I repeated, cracking a smile. "I thought you said you weren't going to come."

"I changed my mind," she responded

"I can see that. Taylor, you look, you look, God, I can't even describe it. You look completely amazing."

"Thank you," she smiled up at me.

"So what made you change your mind?"

"Actually, it was Jack. He made me realize a few things that I didn't before."

"Oh yeah and what's that?"

She looked around the room as she tried to form an answer in her mind. She saw something that made her smile and then she took my hand and pulled me away from the dance floor. "Follow me," she said as she led me to her set destination. She had taken me to the memory board set up all the way in the back of the room. When we got there, she turned around to face me. "Alex, there's something I have to tell you."

"Good," I smiled, "because there's something I have to tell you too."

She took a marker from the bottom of the board and began to write me a message. When she was done, she stepped back so that I could read what she wrote. Three little words were written in her neat but loopy handwriting.

_I love you._

For a minute, I stood rooted to the spot. Again, I had to blink to make sure I wasn't seeing things. She just said she loved me. There was no way this was real. I was living in a dream.

"Tell me what you're thinking," she said nervously.

Wordlessly, I took the marker from her hands and wrote my own message on the board. My handwriting wasn't nearly as neat as hers. When I stepped back to show it to her, she looked just as surprised as I was.

_I love you too._

"Do you really mean it?" she asked breathlessly.

I put my hand under her chin and lifted her head so that I was looking her right in the face. "I love you, Taylor Alison Swift. I think I have loved you ever since the beginning of senior year, but I just couldn't see it yet. We were late that first day because I couldn't stop staring at you and how beautiful you looked when you slept. I wanted that moment to last forever. When you kissed me a few days later, it scared me to death. I thought everything was going to change between us and I was confused, so I made the biggest mistake of my life; I ran away. I thought about you every single second for those two months we were apart. I was completely miserable without you, but then I remembered that we had both made a promise to Eric, so I had him remind you of that. You might not have wanted to do anything for me back then, but I knew you would do anything for him. Luckily, I was right and you came. When Eric died and Katelyn dumped me, you were there for me despite how I treated you before. You are the reason why I made it through; I couldn't have done it without you. Then, you got sent in a demo and got my band a record deal. You are the most unbelievable person I know and I don't deserve you, but there it is. I love you. I was going to get a taxi so that I could come tell you myself, but you beat me to the punch." By the time I was done my little speech, I could see the tears forming in her eyes, so I wiped them away for her.

"You, you were going to come back for me?" she asked.

"Yup," I responded. "I was on my way out, but then I saw you. I saw an angel for the first time tonight."

She rolled her eyes and laughed through her tears. "Stop, Alex. You sound like one of those cheesy love quotes."

"Sorry," I said apologetically. The DJ began to play "Lucky" by Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat. "May I have this dance?" I got down into a little bow and offered her my hand. She took it without hesitation.

"Yes you may, good sir." I led her back to the dance floor and held her in my arms as the song played.

"So, what was it that Jack made you realize?" I asked as we danced.

"How much I love you," she answered. "After Jack told me he didn't want to go with me anymore, I decided I wasn't going to go with anyone but you. When you told me you were going with Katelyn, I was really upset, but I knew I didn't have a right to be since I had already turned you down. After Jack went with you to buy Katelyn's corsage, he drove over to my house and told me what you said about me in the car. He told me that you loved me, but I wasn't sure if I should believe him. He told me that you wouldn't come after me because you were afraid that I stopped loving you, but I haven't. Even if I may have wanted to, I couldn't stop loving you. I decided that I would go after you since you were too much of a chicken to go after me. Jack and I came up with a plan and Kara was in on it too. Now, here I am."

"Oh, that's what those two were whispering about!" I realized. "I'll have to find a way to thank the two of them later."

"What happened with you and Katelyn?" she asked.

I told her the whole story. By the time I was done, her mouth was hanging open and I couldn't help but chuckle.

"Wow," she said. "I never thought I would actually feel grateful to that girl for telling you to be with me. I guess hell just got a little colder."

Then, someone jumped on my back and almost knocked Taylor and me down. I turned around and saw that it was none other than Jack.

"So did you two tell each other you love each other yet?" he asked excitedly.

"We did," said Taylor and she smiled at him.

"Yay!" he cheered. "So I guess this means you two are a couple now?"

"If she'll have me," I answered.

"Of course I'll have you, you doofus!" she laughed.

"Yes!" Jack cheered and he hugged us both. "Anyway, I'll let you two lovebirds be alone. By the way, Alex, I kind of stole your date. I hope you don't mind." I looked behind him and noticed that Katelyn was standing there.

"I'm really happy for you two," she said smiling at us.

"Thank you," Taylor said warmly. "I really appreciate it."

"Ok well we're going to go dance now, so we'll see you later," said Jack as he led Katelyn away from us.

"I'm really glad that they ended up hanging out together," Taylor said as she watched them go. "She really does seem to be changing."

"Yeah, maybe I should go back to her," I joked.

"No sir, you belong with me," she insisted.

"I wouldn't want it any other way," I said as I pulled her closer to me.

"We should probably go to the table soon," she suggested.

"No, we can't do that yet."

"Why not?"

"Because there's still one thing that we haven't done yet."

"What's that?"

"This."

I leaned down and touched my lips to hers. Her soft lips moved in perfect rhythm with mine and I could feel the electricity spark between our bodies as we became more passionate. God, how I loved this girl!

**Chapter 34: Lucky To Be In Love With My Best Friend**

_Taylor's P.O.V._

This night was better than I could ever imagine. For most of this past year, I have been living my life thinking that I would never get to be with the boy that I loved. When he wrote "I love you too" on the memory board, my whole world was turned upside down. A few years ago, if someone came up to me and told me that I would be madly in love with Alex Gaskarth, I would have laughed in that person's face. Now, everything was completely different.

When he kissed me, it was almost like a confirmation of his feelings. We kissed with such passion and emotion that he had to love me back at least a little bit. His lips stuck to mine like glue; we couldn't be broken apart. His hands pulled me into his chest so that our bodies were as close as possible. I wrapped my hands around his neck and attached myself to him. Suddenly, all the noise around us subsided and all the people disappeared. The only thing that mattered was that Alex and I were together. I didn't care about anything else. We were both completely lost in the moment.

"Would you two get a room?" Jack nearly screamed, breaking us apart. "Quit making out in the middle of the dance floor. You are making me sick!"

"Shut up, dick hole," said Alex as he hit Jack upside the head. "You are just mad it's not you making out with an incredibly beautiful girl at prom." I smiled widely at him.

"Ow!" Jack whined as he rubbed his head where Alex hit him. Then he thought about what Alex said and shrugged. "Maybe you're right, but, if I were you, me and my girl wouldn't be here anymore. We'd be in a hotel room and I'd be giving her the ride of her life."

This time, it was my turn to smack Jack in the head; hard. "Ew, you pervert! Alex and I aren't going anywhere near a hotel tonight."

"Ow!" he whined again. "I was kidding! Will you guys stop hitting me?"

"Yeah, when you stop being a cockblock," responded Alex.

He looked at each of us and said, "Ok, fine, Katelyn and I will meet you two back at the table." He reached behind him and grabbed Katelyn's hand, leading her back to the table and leaving us alone.

Alex turned his attention back to me and we continued to dance. "You know, sometimes I wonder why we are friends with that kid," he said.

"I completely agree," I said. "I wonder that all the time actually. But, then again, there are those rare times when he actually has some good ideas. For example, he basically thought of the whole plan to get me here."

"I guess I'll have to thank the doofus for that later. Who would have thought that he of all people would come up with all that."

"Tell me about it. I was surprised at how brilliant he was when he told me."

"You know, even though he's extremely weird, I know he'll always be my best friend," he said as he held me close. "He may say some really obscene things, but it's times like these that prove to me that he's a great friend." 

"I agree," I said. "When he told me he loved me, I felt so bad for hurting him. He hugged and comforted me and told me that everything would be ok. The next day, he talked to me as if nothing happened and nothing changed between us. Then, yesterday and even right now, he put his own feelings aside so that you and I could be happy together. If that's not best friend material, then I don't know what is."

"He really is pretty awesome," agreed Alex, "especially since he brought me you." He leaned his head down and connected his lips to mine once more for a short, but sweet kiss. Once the song was over, we decided we really should return to the table. He grabbed my hand and led me off the dance floor.

"How did everything go?" Kara asked eagerly as she saw us approaching. "Jack and Katelyn wouldn't tell us anything." She shot daggers at them with her eyes.

I held up our connected hands to show everyone. "We are officially together now." The whole table broke out into loud cheering.

"Well it's about fucking time!" Rian said as he got up to congratulate us. "All I have been hearing for the past few months was how much he wanted to be with you. Maybe now that it has actually happened, I can have some peace."

"Shut the fuck up," laughed Alex. "I wasn't that bad."

"Oh yes you were," countered Rian. "You called or texted me at least once a day saying something about how you wished you could be with Taylor."

"Aw, that's so cute!" I said, ruffling Alex's hair and smiling at him.

"Hey, you weren't much better," Kara accused me. "You called me every day whining about how you couldn't go to prom with Alex and how you wished that he felt the same way about you."

"Aw, that's so cute!" Alex mocked me. He lifted up a hand and was about to ruffle my hair too, but I blocked him.

"Don't even think about it, mister. If you mess up my hair, you will get smacked in places that no boy wants to be smacked in," I said.

"Aw, look at you guys," teased Zack. "You're acting like a couple already!"

Alex and I exchanged looks and rolled our eyes. We sat down and ate the dessert that the waiters served to us. As we ate, I noticed that Jack and Katelyn were sitting next to each other and talking. Every so often, they would burst out into laughter. I couldn't help but smile; they seemed happy together. If Katelyn really was changing like we thought she was, then Jack would be good for her. It was nearly impossible to be mean to his goofy face. Besides, now hopefully he wouldn't have to worry about being a third wheel between me and Alex because now he would have someone of his own.

A few hours later, prom ended and we all found ourselves back in the limo. Jack immediately found the champagne and filled up eight glasses.

"Looks like my toast actually came true," he said as he handed out the glasses.

"What was your toast?" I asked since I was the only one who didn't ride with them on the way there.

"He said that tonight would be the night that changed everything," Alex said as he lifted his arm and put it around me. "And it definitely was." I leaned into him and rested my head on his chest. He turned his attention towards Jack and Kara. "I owe you guys so much. Thank you so much for helping Taylor with everything tonight."

"Well she has been talking about how she wants to be with you for so long that I wanted her to finally get her chance," explained Kara. "I'm really glad everything worked out for you two."

"And I was so sick of both you coming to me complaining about how you never though you could be together," Jack chimed in. "It's all you guys would ever talk about when the other person wasn't around. I couldn't take all the brooding anymore, so I decided that this thing needed to happen. It all worked out because the Jack Attack is the best, most smartest person who has ever lived!"

"Most smartest?" Katelyn laughed.

Jack pouted and said, "You all just wish you were as smart as me."

"Oh yeah, we all wish we were Jack the genius," Alex rolled his eyes. "But, you really did do a lot for Taylor and me, so thank you."

"You're welcome, Bro. That's what best friends do; we have each other's backs."

"Hell yea, we do," Alex agreed. "This night was the best of my life."

"It just sucks that it's all over," said Rian.

"Oh no, it's not over yet," said Jack.

"What do you mean?" Zack's date, Laura, asked him.

"It's prom!" answered Jack. "We have to celebrate. I propose that we all go home and get some sleep and then wake up tomorrow morning and drive down to Ocean City for the night. This way, when we party, we won't have to worry about parents. Besides, we all have pretty good fake I.D.s, so we can go to bars and clubs all night."

"But our parents would never go for that," I stated.

Jack shrugged. "So just tell them you are spending the night with some friends. You don't have to tell them that you plan to go out and get trashed all night. I'm sure they'll understand. It's prom weekend anyway. Live a little."

"But how the hell are we going to get reservations now?" asked Zack. "I'm sure everyone else from our school had the same idea."

"Already done," responded Jack. "I already got us a reservation at the Princess Bayside."

"Nice!" Alex said as he leaned forward to give Jack a high-five.

"So, who's in?" asked Jack.

It took some convincing, but eventually everyone agreed. It seemed like this was going to be one wild weekend. Count on Jack to find a way for us to party.

The limo dropped everyone off at their respective houses and we all decided to meet up at Jack's house the following morning to leave for Ocean City. Alex and I were the last to be dropped off. He got out first and then turned around and offered me a hand out of the limo and we walked up to my front doorstep.

"I never wanted this night to end," I stated, looking into his big brown eyes. "I never dreamed it would turn out this good."

"Maybe it doesn't have to." He put his hands on my hips and pulled me close to him. "We slept over each other's houses when we were friends. It shouldn't be any different now that we're together. Stay with me tonight."

I brought my index finger up to my chin and pretended to think about it. "Hmmm, I don't know..."

"Come on!" he pleaded and I laughed.

"I was just kidding! Of course I would love nothing more than to spend the night with you."

"Good," he said and he kissed me. No matter how many times we kissed, I knew those butterflies in my stomach would never go away. "Now, which house do you want to sleep at?" he asked once we broke apart.

"Let's go to yours," I answered. "I feel like I haven't really seen your parents in awhile."

"My house it is," he said as he took my hand and led me toward his front door. Once we were in the house, he picked me up bridal-style and carried me up the steps. I couldn't stop laughing and smiling the whole time, not to mention worrying that he would bang my head into the door frame like guys always do in movies. When we got to his room, he dropped me on the bed and started kissing me passionately. We broke apart a few minutes later and laid next to each other breathlessly.

"I could totally get used to this," I said.

"Get used to what?" he asked, turning his head so that he was facing me.

"Kissing you," I smiled. In response, he just kissed me again. This would never get old.

Even though we both wanted to do nothing more than make out all night, we knew we should get some sleep if we wanted to be ready for tomorrow. He gave me some of his clothes to wear to bed, so I went into the bathroom and changed. When I came back out, he was already changed and laying in bed, smiling widely at me.

"God, you look so sexy in my clothes," he commented. I could feel my face grow hot as I blushed and he laughed at me. He patted the space next to him, so I crawled into bed and cuddled close to his chest.

"It feels so nice being with you," he said once I was next to him. "I've never felt this way before about anyone, not even with Kelly or Katelyn. This is a whole different kind of love."

"Is that good or bad?" I asked, not quite sure I wanted to know the answer.

"It's amazing," he said simply. "You are the only thing I think about anymore; you are the most important person in my life. I hope you know that."

I looked over at him. "The only thing I have to say to that is ditto." He smiled and kissed my forehead. I rested my head on his chest, never feeling more comfortable in my life.

All of a sudden, he started to laugh. "What's so funny?" I asked as I rubbed his chest with one hand.

"I'm just picturing how our parents are going to react when we tell them we're together," he answered. "They are either going to completely flip a shit or be so happy that they'll attack us with hugs."

"It'll definitely be interesting to see," I agreed. "I'm sure they'll be happy for us though. My parents have been asking me why I wasn't with you for awhile now."

"Yeah, back in September after we had our fight, my mom noticed that we were mad at each other, so she told me that she and your mom always thought that we would end up together. At the time, I never would have imagined her to be right, yet here we are."

"I know what you mean," I said. "This time last year, I was still with Ryan. I thought he was the one for me, but, boy, was I wrong. I never would have thought that I would end up here with you one year later. It's funny how much things can change."

"I'll tell you one thing though," he said as he held me close to him. "My life is so much better right now than it was last year, or even than it ever was."

"Mine too," I responded. "Goodnight, Garth."

"Goodnight, Swifter. I love you."

I fell asleep with a smile on my face. That was definitely the best thing to hear right before I went to sleep.

**Chapter 35: I Realize Your Love Is The Best Sound I Have Ever Heard**

_Taylor's P.O.V._

The next morning, Alex and I both awoke to the shrill sound of his phone going off. Jack called and told us to meet everyone at his house as soon as we could. I had to force myself to get out of bed; I didn't want to leave Alex's side. It felt too good to be there. After I ran home to pack a few things and tell my parents I wouldn't be home for the weekend, Alex pulled his car into my driveway and we drove over to Jack's.

Now, we were all in the car on our way to Ocean City. Kara borrowed her dad's van again, so all eight of us miraculously fit into one car. I had the misfortune of being squeezed between Alex and Jack in the backseat. When they each weren't poking and prodding me, they were shouting dirty jokes back and forth to see who could come up with the best one. I just rolled my eyes and prayed that we were almost there.

When we did get there, we immediately checked into the hotel. Jack was smart enough to make reservations for four rooms, one for each couple, so we went to our rooms to change and get ready for the beach.

Alex brought all our bags up to the room. I tried to help him, but he refused, muttering something about being a gentleman. By the time we reached our floor, he was practically dragging the bags to the room, so I just laughed and took it from him before he could say anything. I swiped the key card through the door and opened it, stepping into our room and looking around. It was a relatively normal room with a king-sized bed in the middle and a desk over by the window. The bathroom was by the door just as we walked in. Alex let me go into the bathroom and get changed first, so I turned on the TV and waited for him once I was ready.

A few minutes later, I heard a knock at the door, so I looked through the peep hole and was surprised to see Katelyn standing there in her bathing suite. I answered the door and looked at her curiously.

"Hi," she said awkwardly.

"Hi," I responded evenly. "If you are looking for Alex, he's in the bathroom getting changed."

Katelyn looked down at her hands as she said, "Actually, I was hoping that maybe I could talk to you."

_What could this girl possibly have to talk to me about?_ I wondered. "Come on in," I said as I held the door open for her. Once we were both inside the room, we sat beside each other on the bed. "What do you need to talk to me about? I asked.

"Uhm, I uh, I wanted to uhm apologize to you," she stuttered. I don't know what I was expecting to hear, but it certainly wasn't that. "I've been such a bitch to you ever since we met and you don't deserve that, so I guess I just wanted to say I'm sorry and that I hope that maybe we can all be friends someday."

"Whoa," I said drawing out the "O" sound.

"I guess you never though you would hear that from me, huh," she chuckled.

"No offense, but no, I never thought I would hear you say those words," I said honestly.

"Well, things change," she replied.

"People change," I corrected. "I really appreciate your apology."

She breathed a sigh of relief. "I'm so glad to hear you say that."

"Good," I smiled at her. "And I actually meant to thank you for letting Alex go at prom.

"You see there's this new thing I'm trying out and I'm really liking it. It's called being a good person," she laughed. "I could tell Alex wasn't happy with me, so I didn't want to make him suffer when I knew that he could be happy with you."

"Thanks," I repeated. "Who would have thought that there would be a time that I would talk to you and not want to beat your ass?" We both laughed.

"Well, I guess there's a first time for everything," she answered.

_Alex's P.O.V._

The last thing I expected to see when I walked out of the bathroom was Katelyn sitting on the bed and _bonding_ with Taylor. I never thought I would live to see this day.

"So I guess hell has officially frozen over," I joked as I walked over to them.

"Yup, all those burning souls have actually turned into icicles," Taylor countered.

"Satan actually turned into the White Witch from _The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe_," added Katelyn.

"I think you mean the White Bitch," Taylor corrected.

"Yeah, her too," was Katelyn's response. "Anyway, I just came to apologize to Taylor about how I treated her before."

"That was very...noble of you," I said, trying to think of a good word to describe her good deed.

"Thank you," she said as she shot me a small smile.

All three of us nearly jumped out of our skin when we heard a loud bang at the door. I looked through the peephole and opened the door once I saw that it was Jack.

"Dude, what is it?" I berated him. "You almost gave us all a fucking heart attack.

"Oh," he said simply. "Sorry. Anyway, I want to go to the beach, so let's go!" He jumped up and down excitedly and the girls giggled behind me. We grabbed our stuff for the beach and met the rest of the group in the lobby considering their rooms were on a different floor.

A few minutes later, we found a good spot on the beach where there were the least amount of people and a great view of the water. My girlfriend (I loved calling her that now) set her chair up next to mine and asked me to rub suntan lotion on her back once she took off her white cover-up to reveal her blue string bikini. Just looking at her almost made my eyes pop out, not to mention my bathing suite. I was one lucky son of a bitch.

"Last one in the ocean is a rotten egg!" Jack suddenly exclaimed and then he took off running into the ocean. Once Katelyn realized what he just said, she ran after him.

"Come on!" Taylor said, taking my hand and pulling me up from the ground. "I don't want to be a rotten egg!" She pulled me into the ocean with her. We were joined two seconds later by Zack and Laura and Rian and Kara lagged behind. When they finally reached us, Jack laughed in their faces.

"Ha ha, you two are the rotten eggs!" he chanted. As a result, Kara stuck her tongue out at him, so he splashed her.

"Hey, don't splash my girlfriend," Rian defended as he splashed Jack back. As you can imagine, a huge splash fight ensued after that. Taylor splashed me and then turned and ran in the opposite direction, so I chased after her until she tripped and fell into the water. I reached down and lifted her up out of the water. She squirmed in my arms, but I refused to let her go.

"How dare you splash me," I said pretending to be angry. "You're going to pay for that."

I was about to throw her into the water, but she held on to me for dear life. "No, no, don't!" she pleaded.

"Why shouldn't I?" I asked.

"Because I'm your girlfriend and you love me."

"That might be true, but you're still going down!" I threw her into the water just as a wave was coming and couldn't help but laugh at her face as she came back up to the surface and spat out all the salt water she had just swallowed.

"I cannot believe you just did that!" she said shaking her head at me. "Now, you're going to get it!"

"Oh, am I?" I challenged. She came at me, so I ran and hid behind Jack. "If you try to splash me, you will get him. Is that what you really want?"

"Jack, will you do me a favor since you are my bestest friend ever?" she asked smiling sweetly at him.

"Sure," Jack responded.

"Will you kick Alex in the nuts for me?" I looked at her face; she was dead serious. I hastily backed away from Jack before he could respond. Everyone else just laughed and continued splashing each other. I tried to get away from Taylor, but she jumped on my back and tried to dunk my head in the water. She kicked the back of my knees so that they would bend and then she jumped on top of me, pushing me under. When I came back up to the surface, she had a satisfied smirk on her face, so I grabbed her around the waist and tickled her until she couldn't breathe.

"Please stop!" she begged breathlessly. "Ok, ok, I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?" I asked as I tickled her unceasingly.

"I'm s-sorry for sp-splashing you," she gasped.

"And...?"

"And for t-telling Jack to k-kick you in the n-nuts."

"And...?"

"And for dunking you," she relented.

"And...?"

"A-Alex!" she scolded and I laughed.

"Ok, ok, I'll stop." And I did.

"You're such a j-jerk," she said as she tried to gain her breath back and gave me a dirty look.

"I may be a jerk, but you know you love me." I gave her a wide, toothy grin.

"Sometimes, I wish I didn't," she huffed. She was about to turn away from me, but then I took her in my arms and held her close.

"I'm sorry I tickled you," I said sincerely as I looked into her beautiful blue eyes. "I just love seeing your smile and hearing your laugh. Forgive me?" I gave her my best puppy dog eyes.

She gently caressed my face. "How could I ever be mad at you when you look at me like that?" she wondered. I leaned my head down for a kiss and my lips connected with beauty herself. I pleaded for entrance into her mouth with my tongue and she granted it, so our mouths moved in harmony. My hands reached up to touch both sides of her face as the kiss deepened. Pretty soon, we had to stop ourselves before our PDA became x-rated.

A few minutes later, everyone got hungry, so we decided to get out of the water and grab some lunch on the boardwalk. When we walked back to our stuff, I took out my iPhone and saw that I had five missed calls from our producer, Matt Squire.

"Huh," I said frowning at my phone.

"What's wrong?" asked Taylor.

"Matt Squire called me like five times."

"That's weird," commented Rian. "I wonder what he wants."

"I guess I should call him back and see what he wants. Why don't you guys go to lunch and I will meet you there? I'm not sure how long this will take."

"I'll wait with you," Taylor said. She was about to sit down in her beach chair, but I stopped her.

"No, no," I insisted. "You go with them and I will catch up with you guys later. I don't want you to have to wait for me."

"Are you sure?" she asked, studying my face.

"Yes, of course!"

"Ok." She gave me a quick kiss goodbye. I watched her run over to everyone else who had already started walking toward the boardwalk and then I called Matt.

Fifteen minutes later, I made my way over to the outdoor restaurant on the boardwalk and sat down next to Taylor. "Hey, Babe!" she greeted me, taking my hand and giving it a squeeze. Once the waitress saw that I had arrived, she came to the table and took my drink order. After she scampered away, I studied the menu and decided on a generic burger and fries.

"So what did Matt want?" Zack asked me after I ordered my food.

I took a deep breath and began my story. "Apparently, the label called him yesterday. They said that they really like our record, but there's not enough theme variation. They think we have too many party songs, so they want us to write another one about something different and then go in and record it as soon as possible."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Rian asked angrily. "They told us that we didn't need to record anything else. Isn't it too late to add another song on?"

"Yeah, won't recording another song put us off-schedule?" wondered Zack. "The album is supposed to come out in July and it's the end of May. How on earth would we have time to record and edit another song?"

"I honestly don't know," I responded. "I know it sucks, but we're under contract with them, so we really have to listen to them."

"I can't believe those fuckers have to pull this now," Jack said throwing his arms up in the air in frustration. "We're on vacation for God sakes!"

"Yeah, but they don't care about that," replied Katelyn. "The only thing they are concerned about is getting the record out and making money."

"So what are you guys going to do?" Kara asked.

I shrugged. "I guess I will just have to write a song. There's really nothing else to it."

"When are you going to have time to do that though?" Laura inquired.

"I guess I'll just have to go back to the hotel after lunch," I answered. "I'll write it in the hotel room. It's a good thing I brought my guitar along."

"Uh that is so unfair!" Taylor moaned, leaning into my chest. "You're supposed to be with me, not locked away in our hotel room!"

"I'm sorry, Swifter." I gave her hand a squeeze and kissed the top of her head. "I will make it up to you tonight, I promise."

"You better!" she affirmed.

The waitress finally arrived to deliver the food, so everyone ate and eventually, Jack got bored and started a food fight.

After lunch, Taylor went back to the beach with the rest of the gang while I trudged back up to our hotel room. Now, I sat in the leather rolling chair at the desk with a pen in my hand trying to think of what to write. I tapped the pen impatiently against the desk as my mind went through various possibilities. Eventually, I got distracted and my mind wondered off to a different topic, the only topic that it had been on for awhile now: Taylor. A large smile played across my face as I thought of what happened between us yesterday and today. My pen clunked as I dropped it on the table and rested my chin on my palm.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that Taylor and I were never really just friends. I had always loved her in one way or another, but I never actually realized it until I lost her for those two long months. What I had with Katelyn was just a mere infatuation compared with what I now have with Taylor. When I first realized my feelings for Taylor, I got scared. It took awhile for me to admit my feelings to anyone, not even myself and especially not her. Now, she was my whole world. I picked up the pen and began to write. It appeared I had finally found my inspiration.

An hour and a half later, I heard the sound of the key in the door, so I turned around just as Taylor walked into the hotel room with nothing but a bathing suite and a towel on. Her curly blonde hair was drenched and dripping down her body. I marveled at her sexiness as she walked over to me. She said something to me, but I didn't hear it; my attention was only on one thing.

"Alex!" she screamed, smacking me lightly in the head.

"Uh, what?" I asked dazedly.

"I was wondering how the songwriting was going," she said as she sat down on the bed facing me.

"Awesome. It's done. It only took me like an hour and a half."

"Impressive," she complimented.

"It's about someone I couldn't seem to get off my mind for these past few months, no matter how hard I tried."

"Oh? And who might this person be?" she asked suggestively.

"You," I answered simply.

"Play it for me?" she requested.

"It's not ready yet."

"Pleeeeaaaassssseeeee," she begged. Now it was her turn to give me puppy dog eyes as she turned her bottom lip down and lifted her hands into a prayer position. Of course, the weakling that I was, I immediately relented.

"Ok, fine," I said, rolling my eyes. "I wanted to wait and sing it to you once all the kinks were worked out, but since you are so damn irresistible, I'll play it for you. Hand me my guitar."

"Yay!" she cheered clapping her hands together excitedly. She handed me the guitar that was leaning against the side of the bed.

"The song is called 'Walls'." I strummed the beginning notes and pretty soon, my voice resounded throughout the room. I sang with as much emotion as I could.

_Hey there it's good to see you again  
It never felt right calling this just friends  
I'm happy if your happy with yourself  
Take off your shirt your shoes  
Those skinny jeans I bought for you  
We're diving in there's nothing left to lose_

I'm gonna break down these walls (down these walls)  
I built around myself  
I wanna fall so in love (so in love)  
With you and no one else  
Could ever mean half as much  
to me as you do now  
Together we'll move on  
just don't turn around  
Let the walls break down

I used to wear you like a ball and chain  
I'd run and hide at the call of my name  
It was obvious you were too much for me  
oblivious  
I was young and horney  
In retrospect I would do it again  
Stop talking shit to every one of your friends  
I'm not the same boy you knew back then

Cause I could break down these walls  
(down these walls)  
I built around myself  
I wanna fall so in love  
(so in love)  
With you and no one else  
Could ever mean half as much to me as you do now  
Together we'll move on  
just don't turn around  
Let the walls break

I can't breathe  
My body's shaking  
You've got a way with the way you take me  
Cause you break me down  
You know you break me down

I'm gonna break down these walls  
(down these walls)  
I built around myself  
I wanna fall so in love  
(so in love)  
With you and no one else  
Could ever mean half as much to me as you do now  
Together we'll move on  
just don't turn around  
Let the walls break down

Let the walls break down  
Cause you break me down  
Let the walls break down

As I played the last few notes of the songs, I looked up and saw Taylor's face brimming with tears and a wide grin. The second I put the guitar down on the floor, she ran up and practically jumped on my lap, attacking me with kisses.

"That," she said before she kissed me, "was," another kiss, "amazing."

Without another word, I lifted her out of the chair and laid her down on the bed, our mouths never breaking apart the whole time.

"Alex Gaskarth, I want you so bad right now," she said breathlessly as she hungrily ripped my shirt from my body and threw it on the ground. Pretty soon, the rest of our clothes formed a small pile on the floor.

**Chapter 36: All I Ever Wanted  
**

_Taylor's P.O.V._

Half an hour later (yes, that's how long it took), Alex collapsed on the bed next to me, both of our chests heaving up and down. I won't gross you out with the details, but lets just say that was the most incredible half hour of my life.

"That," he said breathlessly, "was amazing."

"Yes, it was." I smiled at him as I wiped the sweat from my forehead. The pillow was now soaked since my hair was still wet from swimming.

He just looked at me as if he had never seen me before. "I never realized just how beautiful you are," he commented.

I pushed him gently and rolled my eyes. "Oh, stop it!"

"What? I'm just being honest here. I've never seen anyone so stunning." As he said that, he reached over and pulled a stray blonde hair behind my ear and rubbed my cheek lovingly with his thumb.

"But I'm all sweaty and naked and wet!" I exclaimed.

"Exactly!" He smiled and wiggled his eyebrows up and down. I turned my head away from him so that I could burst out laughing. "What's so funny?" he asked. When I didn't answer, he lifted the sheets up and began to stick his head under before I stopped him.

"Alex!" I squealed grabbing the sheets out of his greedy hands.

"What?" he said sheepishly. "I wanted to have another look." As a result, he received a much-deserved hard smack on the chest. The spot where I hit him turned red. "Ow," he whined. "I was only kidding."

"Mmmhmmmm," I murmured.

"I was!" he insisted.

"And I'm the Dali Llama," I replied sarcastically.

"Ok, maybe I wasn't kidding," he admitted. "You are just so damn hot that I wanted one last look."

"You know, you can be a real perv sometimes," I said as I turned my body away from him. He just grabbed me around the waist and pulled me closer to him.

"I'm a guy," he whispered in my ear. "Unfortunately for you, my pervertedness just comes with the territory." He kissed my cheek and rested his head on top of mine. I snuggled into his chest; his body was so warm.

"I guess I'll just have to accept you for who you are, pervertedness and all," I sighed dramatically. "It'll be a sacrifice though.

His mouth dropped open. "Take that back!" he demanded. I shook my head and cowered under the covers. As it turns out, that wasn't the best idea because he started to tickle me as payback.

"No, Alex, stop!" I screamed through my laughter. I tried to move away, but he wrapped an arm protectively around my waist so that I couldn't go anywhere. After a few minutes of this, my stomach hurt from laughing so much and I couldn't breath. Eventually, he stopped and I gasped for air. "You are such a jerk," I said once I got my wind back.

"But you know you love me," he smiled cheekily.

"Yeah I do. Don't you feel bad for me?" I joked.

"Do you want to get tickled again?" he asked seriously.

I reflexively covered my stomach with my arms. "No thanks," I responded.

"Well then be nice."

"But that's no fun!"

Wordlessly, he gently turned me back over so that I was looking at him and he put a hand on my face again, rubbing circles on my cheek with his thumb. "God, you are so beautiful," he marveled as he stared into my eyes. I smiled, so he kissed me and my stomach exploded with butterflies. It never felt so good to be so in love.

After a few minutes of semi-innocent making out, Alex and I groaned as we heard someone bang on the door.

"Lovebirds, it's time for you two to stop fucking each other and come back to the real world for some dinner," Jack's loud voice came from outside the door. "Meet us in the lobby in an hour." I covered my face with both of my hands as I began to turn red from embarrassment. I hoped to God no one else heard that.

I let out a long sigh. "I guess that's our cue to get out of bed." I was about to get up, but then Alex pulled me back.

"Five more minutes," he said as he kissed me again.

Later that night, Alex and I had somehow managed to break apart long enough to get ready for dinner. I decided to wear a plain black halter dress that went to my knees along with black sandal high-heels and didn't have much time to do my hair, so it just hung curly at my shoulders. He made sure to tell me that I looked amazing. He was wearing a blue and black flannel button-down shirt and black skinny jeans along with black converse sneakers. His hair was perfectly ruffled atop his head and his face was clear of most facial hair. For once, he wasn't wearing a beanie. He took my hand and led me out the door and met the rest of the gang in the lobby in record time.

After much talk, we decided to eat dinner at the hotel restaurant. Then, we went out and wandered around the boardwalk until we found a karaoke bar. Alcohol+karaoke=extreme entertainment, especially if you take Jack into account. By the end of the night, our voices were gone from singing and screaming so much. There was even a point when Kara, Laura, Katelyn, and I jumped on the tables and sang "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls. It was a wonder how we all got back to the hotel in one piece; we were all so drunk that we could barely walk straight, but there was never a second where our judgment was impaired.

The next day, we stayed in bed as long as possible considering some of us were hungover from what happened last night. When 11:30AM came around, Alex and I each let out a long groan and got out of bed. We had to get ready and pack up our stuff so that we could be checked out of the room by noon. Once we all packed up the car, we spent the rest of the day at the beach and then went home later that night. Our parents still did not know that Alex and I were together, so they didn't think anything of it when he slept over that night.

I drove us to school in the morning and we got there early enough to meet everyone in the front. When we walked into school, no one was surprised to see us holding hands; I guess everyone expected us to get together eventually.

"Taylor!" Jack screamed when he saw me. He ran and jumped into my arms, even though I was holding Alex's hand. I made an "Uh" sound in pain when his body collided with mine, but he ignored it. "I've missed you so much, best friend!" He wrapped his arms around my back and squeezed the life out of me.

"Can't. Breathe," I gasped. I had to poke him hard in the rib to get him to let me go and he cried out in pain. Everyone else just laughed at us.

"Um, anyway," said Alex as soon as everyone had recovered from Jack's ridiculousness, "I told Matt that I completed the song, so he wants us to come in and track it as soon as school is over." There was a loud, collective groan.

"Why are they having us do this?" Zack whined. "The record is already done!"

"Look, we can moan and groan all we want, but, at the end of the day, we owe these people everything" stated Rian. "They gave us a record deal. They may want to make as much money as possible, but they know that, in order to do that, they have to help us make the best record possible. That's what we want in the end, isn't it?"

"Yeah it is," Alex agreed. "You are absolutely right, Buddy." He clapped a hand on Rian's back. The ten-minute warning bell rang, so we went our separate ways, but Alex walked me to my locker. "I have a favor to ask," he said as I was taking books out of my locker.

"Anything you need," I said as I shut my locker.

"Will you come with me to the studio later?" he asked as we walked toward my homeroom. "I know it'll be boring, but I don't want to lose a whole afternoon with you."

"Of course I will," I smiled reassuringly. The five-minute warning bell rang, so I kissed him goodbye and told him I loved him. He returned the sentiment and took off for his own locker.

Six hours later found Alex and me on our way to the recording studio. The whole time, he shifted and squirmed nervously in the passenger seat.

"What's with you?" I chuckled as I stopped the car at a red light and looked over at him. Each time he moved, the seat squeaked, so I could hear his trepidation even if I couldn't see it.

"I'm just nervous about recording this song," he answered honestly. "I want it to be just right for you."

"For me?" I asked as the light turned green and I eased my foot onto the accelerator. "Why for me?"

"Because I wrote 'Walls' for you," he said as if that answer was the most obvious thing in the world. "I want you to listen to it and think of last weekend and how amazing it was."

"Alex," I looked at him for half a second and reached over to grab his hand and squeeze it with my free hand. "That song will always be perfect and beautiful to me because it came from your heart. You don't have to worry about me because I will always love it."

A few minutes later, we pulled into the parking lot and parked the car. It had appeared that we were the last ones there as usual. Matt immediately told the boys how they were going to go about recording the song. First, they would track the instruments and the vocals would be last. While Zack, Rian, and Jack worked out the instrumentals, Alex worked with a vocal coach going over the notes. In the meantime, I busied myself by going on the computer and getting some of my homework done right outside the recording booth. After awhile, Jack came to join me on his break. He plopped down on the couch and let out a long sigh; we had only been here for a little while and he was already exasperated.

"Hey," I said turning the swivel chair I was sitting in so that I was facing him. "Everything ok?"

"Yeah," he responded. "I'm just tired. Come sit with me?" He patted the space next to him on the black leather couch, so I sat down and rested my head on his shoulder.

"How's it going in there?" I asked.

"Fine, it's just a long ass process."

"I know what you mean. It used to take me up to a few days to get a song completely finished," I agreed.

"So how are things with you and Alex?" he changed the subject.

It took me a short moment to gather my thoughts. "Things are amazing. I can honestly say that I have never been happier."

"I'm glad," he said as he reached over and pushed my long blonde hair behind my ear.

I lifted my head from his shoulder so that I could look him square in the face. "Jack, can I talk to you?"

"Of course," he assured. "You know I'm always here for you."

"I'm afraid that my relationship with Alex is going to screw up my relationship with you. I just want to make sure you know that the last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you like that. You are my best friend and I love you, just not in the way you wanted me to. I never want to lose you." I hoped he could hear the sincerity in my voice. A single tear rolled down my cheek and he brushed it away with his thumb.

"Taylor," he began. "You'll always be my best friend no matter what. Nothing will change that. You could even kill Alex in his sleep and you'll still be my best friend." I burst out laughing when he said this, but he continued. " At first, it was kind of awkward seeing you guys together like that, but now I'm pretty much used to it. I don't want you guys to act any differently around me. Besides," he paused. "I know this is kind of soon, but I think I'm starting to really like Katelyn."

"Really?" I asked sitting up and giving him my full attention. "What have you guys done together? Give me details!"

"I just got to know her better this past weekend and she's actually becoming a very nice person. There's more to her than what people see on the outside. We shared a hotel room. I was going to sleep on the floor and give her the bed, but she insisted that I sleep in the bed beside her. Don't get me wrong, we didn't have sex or anything, but, surprisingly, it wasn't awkward at all. We actually spent most of the night just talking. It was nice."

"That's amazing," I said smiling at him. "I'm really happy for you. Did you kiss her yet?"

He shook his head. "Not yet, but we are hanging out after school tomorrow. Hopefully something will happen then."

"Good luck. I hope she can make you happy."

"I hope so too," he said.

We both jumped when the door to the recording booth was thrown open with a loud bang when it bounced against the wall.

"Jack, your break is almost done," Matt said as he came into the outside room. "However, before we start recording again, I have some news for everyone including you, Taylor." Jack and I just looked at him curiously as the rest of the band filed into the room. Alex sat down and put his arm around me and we all focused our attention on Matt. "I just got off the phone with the record company and we just finished working out all the details for the summer tour." As soon as these words came out of his mouth, my heartbeat quickened and my whole body began to heat up. "Taylor, we talked to your people and made it so that you can tour with the band." It took a minute for everyone to fully comprehend his words, but, when we did, the whole room erupted in screams and cheers. Alex grabbed my face and kissed me passionately.

"This is amazing!" I screamed.

"Yes!" Jack cheered. "Now tour will be a real party."

"Wait, wait, wait," Matt screamed over us and held his hands up to show that he had more to say. "There's more. You will not be going on your own tour; you will be there to support bigger bands. You will be joining Cobra Starship and Boys Like Girls in supporting Paramore on their headlining Brand New Eyes tour."

That's when I fainted.

**Chapter 37: When I Wake Up, The Dream Isn't Done**

_Alex's P.O.V._

The second I saw Taylor fall off the couch and hit the floor, my heart stopped beating. My lungs were empty of air, yet my body was in adrenaline mode. Eventually, my heart started its rhythm again, but this time, it felt like it was going to explode out of my chest. I could feel the breath hitching in my throat and my blood pressure rising rapidly. Seeing her unconscious made it hard to breathe. My hands trembled as I knelt down and shook her body. No one else seemed to know what to do.

"Taylor, wake up!" I nearly screamed as my face turned red. "Come on, baby, wake up!"

It seemed like an eternity until her eyelashes finally fluttered and she opened those beautiful light blue eyes. She sat up slowly and put her hand on top of her forehead where she had hit it on the ground. I couldn't help but let out a long sigh of relief. When she saw all of us standing over her with concerned looks on our faces, she crinkled her eyebrows together in confusion. "What happened?" she asked. "Why am I on the floor and why are you all looking at me like that?"

"Matt just told us that we're touring together with Cobra Starship, Boys Like Girls, and Paramore," Rian explained. "I guess it was just too much good news for you."

"Oh no!" she waled, covering her face with her hands. "I fainted? How embarrassing!"

"How are you feeling?" I asked, the concern not leaving my voice. "Can I get you anything?"

She took my hand and rubbed comforting circles on the back of it with her thumb. "Alex, I'm fine," she said as she looked into my eyes. "Don't worry about me."

"That's a tall order," I responded. "You should at least drink some water. You still look kind of pale. Go lay on the couch while I get you some water. Does anything hurt?"

"Really, I'm fine!" she insisted.

"Humor me," I begged as I pulled her up off the floor by her arm and guided her over to the couch to lay down. "Does your head hurt?"

"A little," she admitted.

Once she laid down on the couch, I kissed the top of her forehead and went to get her some water while Jack made sure she didn't fall off the couch again. As I filled her cup with water, I chuckled as I heard her tell everyone else to either stop staring at her like she was an animal at the zoo or leave the room. It appeared that Rian, Zack, and Matt failed at this assignment, so she kicked them out, but not before threatening to start a rumor that Rian liked to masturbate to gay porn at night before bed, Zack was on steroids, and Matt only had sex with prostitutes (male or female) if they told anyone else about what had just happened. My girlfriend really had a way with words.

When I came back into the room, Jack was sitting on the swivel chair facing Taylor and they were laughing at the looks on the other guys' faces as they left the room. I could not help but crack a smile myself; Rian looked legitimately scared. I sat down next to the couch and handed her a glass of water and some aspirin and she took it willingly.

We heard a tentative knock and I turned around just as Matt popped his head in the door. Taylor gave him the death stare and he cowered a little bit. "I'm leaving, I'm leaving," he said. "I just needed to tell Jack and Alex that their breaks are over."

"Alex stays with me for a few more minutes," Taylor demanded darkly as her eyes bore into his soul.

He gulped and then quickly said "okay" in a high-pitched voice and his head disappeared as the door shut. Once he was gone, all three of us burst out laughing. Once Jack regained his composure, he gave Taylor a hug, told her to feel better, and left us alone.

"How's your head?" I asked.

"Better now, thanks to you," she said smiling at me. "I guess I was just so happy that I was too overwhelmed. God, I can't believe we're touring together and with Paramore! They are one of my favorite bands. Hayley Williams is even from Nashville, which is where I was born and she's one of my idols. This is going to be amazing, I can just feel it! I never thought life could get any better, but it just did." Her whole face was glowing in pure happiness.

"I think it's going to be one of the best times we've ever had," I agreed. "You have to promise me something though."

I put my forehead against hers and felt her breath on my face as she asked, "What's that?"

"You have to promise me that you won't faint again. You scared the shit out of me."

She merely chuckled and said, "I'll try my best." Her lips closed the space between our faces as they met mine.

A few minutes later, there was another knock on the door and Jack came in to tell me that it was time to get back to work. It appeared he was the only one who had the balls to be in front of Taylor. I made sure that she had everything she needed and would be ok, then I gave her one last kiss and went back to the vocal booth. Matt immediately told me where to start.

Two hours later, the song still wasn't where it needed to be. When Matt stopped the recording for the millionth time, I let out a frustrated sigh. "Fuck! I don't know why I can't get this!"

"I think you need to just take a deep breath and relax," Matt responded, pressing a button and speaking into the microphone so that I could hear him through my headphones from the other side of the booth. "Think about all the things that inspired that song."

I tried to do as I was told, but I still could not get out of the mentality that, out of all the songs on the album, this was the one that had to be perfect and I kept fucking it up. I felt like I wanted, no _needed_, to punch the wall. As I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself down, I nearly jumped as someone touched my shoulder. I turned around to see my girlfriend laughing at me. I took off my headphones so that I could hear her.

"Sorry," she chuckled. "I didn't mean to scare you. Anyway, I just thought I should remind you that we promised our parents we would join them for dinner at P.F. Chang's tonight and it's already getting pretty late."

I smacked my hand to my forehead and exclaimed, "Shit I totally forgot! We're not done yet. I keep fucking it up and I don't know why."

She walked up and took my face in both her hands. "Look at me, Alex," she demanded and my eyes met hers. "This song is amazing and, once it gets released, everyone else is going to love it too. Just sing it from your heart. It's as simple as that. I know you can do it and I'm going to stay in here with you and keep saying the same thing until you do. Now, sing." She put the headphones back on my head. I watched her face as the notes began to come out of my mouth and, by the end of the song, I knew that I had finally gotten it right.

Half an hour later, Taylor and I walked into P.F. Chang's careful to not hold hands. Our parents still did not know about our changed relationship and we decided we would tell them together, but we did not want to give anything away too quickly. We were both extremely nervous about how they would react to the news, but we thought we should probably tell them sooner rather than later. As we approached the table, our parents stood up to give us each a hug. When we sat down, we began to talk about normal things such as how our days were and different things that were going on in each of our lives. All the while, Taylor and I squeezed each other's hands under the table and smiled at each other every chance we could.

"So, what do you two have to tell us?" my mom asked us as the waiter served our drinks.

"What?" I asked.

She motioned toward both of us with her hands. "You two keep smiling at each other when you think we're not looking. Clearly, there's something to tell."

I looked over at Taylor and she just shrugged and nodded. It was now or never. I took a deep breath and began to speak. "Taylor and I were going to wait until a little bit later tonight to tell you this, but... we're together now. We're a couple."

Silence.

My stomach gurgled and I squeezed Taylor's hand and nervously bit my lip as we both looked at our parents' faces. After about thirty seconds, my dad did the last thing I would have ever expected him to do; he clapped. "Well, it's about time!" he said as he got up and leaned over to give me a hug and clap me on the back. I couldn't find the words to respond, so my mouth just hung open. I looked to my left and saw that Taylor was just as surprised as I was as he moved to hug her.

What floored us even more was that, after my dad had broken the silence, everyone else reacted the same way he did. It seemed Taylor and I had worried for nothing. We never thought in a million years that our parents would be happy that we were together. In fact, happy didn't even begin to describe it. They were acting as if we were practically engaged.

"Don't looked so surprised," laughed Barbara, Taylor's mom, as she returned to her seat.

"I don't get it," Taylor responded. "We thought you guys would be upset."

"Why would we be upset?" asked my mom. "We always thought you guys would end up together. Now that it has finally happened, it's like Christmas! If you guys get married, we'll get to share grandchildren!"

Taylor and I both rolled our eyes as far back in our heads as they would go.

"Now tell us," my mom said, leaning closer into the table. "How did it all happen?"

"I'll let you take this one," I said to Taylor. She began to tell the story of how we fell in love with each other. When she finished telling them about prom, they let out a long, collective "aw".

When she finished the story, David, her father, smiled and said, "We couldn't be happier for you two."

"Thanks, Daddy," responded Taylor. "But, there's more." She turned to me. "We still haven't told them the most recent news yet."

"Oh right, we haven't," I said.

"What's the most recent news?" asked my dad.

"We just found out today that we're going on tour together this summer along with Boys Like Girls, Cobra Starship and Paramore!" Taylor explained excitedly. "Isn't that awesome?"

In response, our parents cheered and got up to hug us once more. They knew all of our dreams were coming true and they couldn't be happier for us. Throughout the night, Taylor and I learned not to be surprised by our parents antics. They didn't even mind when I told them I wanted to sleep over at the Swift household, even though Taylor and I were together. Now that's trust. As I fell asleep with her in my arms, the only thing I could think about was how life could not get much better than this.

**Chapter 38: How Far We've Come (Part 1)**

_Alex's P.O.V._

Senior year seemed to speed by like a race car competing in NASCAR. The last week of May and the beginning few weeks of June were spent doing nothing other than preparing for the upcoming tour and finishing up last-minute school assignments. With only one week left until graduation, you could say that we were all getting a little antsy. Now, the only thing left to do is study for finals. Unfortunately, that's not as easy as it looks. Between tour practice every day after school, schoolwork, and spending quality time with my girlfriend, free time to study was hard to come by. Lucky for me, Taylor agreed to help me study tonight.

Jack and I were currently not-so-patiently waiting in line to get fitted for our caps and gowns. Jack could not seem to stay still; he kept tapping his legs or hopping up and down on the balls of his feet so that he could see how far we had to go. On the other hand, I couldn't seem to stop touching my hair. I guess you can call it an impatient twitch: when I'm bored or impatient, I touch my hair. Laugh if you must.

"Damn it, why is this taking so long?" asked Jack as he yet again got on his tiptoes to see how many people were ahead of us.

"When does this school ever do things quickly?" I countered.

"Point taken," he responded. "While we're here, I have to talk to you about something."

I finally stopped touching my hair and stuffed my hands into my pockets, giving him my full attention. "What's up?"

When he began to talk, he looked at the floor. Whatever he was about to tell me must have been big for him to be this nervous. "Well, I-." He stopped and took a deep breath. "Katelyn and I have been seeing each other ever since prom and I'm starting to really like her-"

"Ask her out," I cut him off. He finally looked up at me and I could see the relief on his face.

"Really? You mean that?" he asked.

"Yeah, of course," I chuckled. "You don't need my permission."

"I just wanted to make sure since you are my best friend and you two kind of have a pretty bad history. I just wanted to make sure that this doesn't break our bro code or something."

"Nope," I shook my head. "The bro code is still intact. Go for it. The only thing I ask is that you be careful. I think she's changed, I really do, but I also don't want what happened to me to happen to you."

He gave me the biggest Jack smile I have ever seen and said, "Will do."

"So, when are you going to ask her out?" I asked as the line finally started moving forward.

"Tonight when we go out to dinner at the Cheesecake Factory," he answered.

"The only thing I recommend is that you do not let her see your dick before you ask her out. When she sees how tiny it is, she may run for the hills. It could be a deal-breaker." I cringed a little as he gave me a hard smack on the back.

"I am perfectly happy with the size of my dick, than you very much! Just ask my previous fuck buddies. They have all come back more than once, so that must mean it's pretty good."

"Yeah, or it could just mean that they were desperate," I laughed. Luckily, we were now at the front of the line, so he couldn't hit me anymore. As Jack went off to be fitted, I shouted, "Let me know what happens with Katelyn," and he nodded in response. A woman beckoned me over to where she was and I slipped a red graduation gown over my clothes. For the next ten minutes, I was poked and prodded with pins and needles until the gown fit just right.

Eight hours later, Taylor and I were sprawled out on our stomachs on my bed with our textbooks open. She was attempting to teach me pre-calculus, but it wasn't working out very well.

"Ok what's the formula for the circumference of a circle?" she asked.

"I have no idea," I answered honestly.

"How can you not know this?" she wondered. "It's pi times the radius squared!"

"Pie? I want some pie! Let's go get some pie." I was about to jump off the bed, but then she grabbed my arm to stop me.

"Alex," she said as she gave me a look that said, "Are you really going to go there?" "If you can't be serious about this, then I'm not going to help you study."

"Fiiiine," I sighed. I couldn't wait for all of this to just be over.

At first, it was very frustrating, but after about a half an hour or so, I really started to understand what Taylor was teaching me. Once I felt prepared enough for the final, Taylor and I decided to take a break.

'I really do want pie, you know," I said as I closed my pre-calc textbook with a satisfied look on my face.

She turned to look at me and laughed. "Well then I guess that means we'll have to go get pie then, won't we?"

"Let's go!" I said excitedly as I took her hand and led her downstairs and all the way out to my car. Neither of us really felt like going to a restaurant, so we just stopped at the nearest supermarket and picked up some apple pie, vanilla ice cream, and whipped cream. Now that's what I call a good dessert!

"Hey, you know what's funny?" Taylor said as we got back in the car.

"What?"

"We've known each other practically our whole lives, yet I think this is the first time we have ever done a quick run to the grocery store together."

I thought about what she said. "You're right. We were always too lazy or made our parents get stuff for us if they were out. I guess there's a first time for everything. If there was one person I could choose to do quick grocery store runs with for the rest of my life, it would be you." I smiled at her and squeezed her hand.

"Ditto," she responded.

My parents were gone for the night because my mom had a business trip, so the house was nice and peaceful when we got home. When we walked into the kitchen, Taylor went to take out the pie, but I made her sit down at the table as I went about the kitchen. I even went so far as to dim the lights and light two candles in the middle of the table. It was all about the atmosphere.

"Aw, Alex, you don't have to do this," she smiled as I put a piece of pie topped with ice cream, chocolate syrup, and whipped cream down in front of her.

"I wanted to," I responded. I gave her a quick peck on the lips, went to get my own piece, and sat down across from her. As I ate, I stared at her beautiful pale face in the darkness and laughed quietly when I saw that she had gotten ice cream all over her luscious pink lips. Without even thinking, I reached across the table. Even though we had been together for a few weeks, my pulse still quickened when my thumb came in contact with her lips. When she realized what I was doing, she gave me an embarrassed, but grateful smile. I lovingly rubbed her cheek and she leaned into my hand and closed her eyes. Simple moments like this reminded me of why I loved her so much.

"Thanks," she said.

"You were just so cute that I couldn't help myself," I said as I licked the ice cream that was on her lips off my thumb.

She laughed and then said, "We've just been studying this whole night. I haven't gotten a chance to ask you how your day was today."

"It was good. Jack actually asked me if it was ok if he asked Katelyn out. Of course I told him to go for it."

"Why did he ask you that?" Taylor wondered.

"Since Katelyn and I used to be together, he did not want to break the bro code," I explained.

"He's such a good friend," she responded. "He's so loyal. We are lucky to have a friend like him."

"Tell me about it," I agreed.

Then, as if right on cue, I got this text message: _SHE SAID YES!_

I showed Taylor and she cheered. These past few weeks, Jack has been even happier than normal, especially when he was around Katelyn, so we all knew he really cared about her. And, if anyone deserved to be happy, it was Jack.

"Oh yeah and Jack and I both got fitted for our graduation gowns," I added. "It was unreal."

"Yeah, I'm supposed to be fitted for mine tomorrow," she responded. "I can't believe we're really graduating. I still remember the night back in September before our first day of senior year."

I laughed as I remembered. "That was the night I made you swear not to tell people that you came to me for fashion advice."

She laughed and nodded. "Yup. We were both so nervous that night because we did not know what was going to happen. I never thought in a million years that it would lead to this."

"What, us being together?" I asked.

"Let's just say I never dreamed that I would graduate high school completely in love and about to go on a nationwide tour with a bunch of huge bands. In fact, that's the last thing I would have ever expected to happen."

"Fate works in mysterious ways," I agreed. "This past year has changed the both of us in so many ways. We have literally hit rock bottom, but then we helped each other rise from the ashes and now here we are happier than we have ever been."

"Needless to say, it has been a roller coaster, and one hell of a ride at that," Taylor added. A truer statement has never been made.

"I'm glad it got us here though," I said. Again, I reached across the table, but this time, I went for her hand.

"I wouldn't want it any other way," she responded. We finished our delicious dessert and then headed back upstairs. As I fell asleep with her in my arms that night yet again, I could not help but smile as I thought of what was to come.

**Chapter 39: How Far We've Come (Part 2)**

_Taylor's P.O.V._

Wow. That one simple word could not even begin to explain how I was feeling right now, but it was the closest fit. Just...wow. The past eighteen years all seemed to culminate to this very day. You see, today was the day that I, Taylor Alison Swift, would be graduating from Dulaney Valley High School with high honors. Can you believe it? I know I can't.

Since I was a straight A student, I was lucky enough not to have to take finals. Therefore, that meant that I had plenty of free time to do as I pleased except for when I was doing things for the tour such as making sure I had a passport (you never know when we might need to flee the country, especially since Jack will be with us) and numerous shopping trips with my mother. She constantly fretted over the fact that she thought I did not have the right clothing. She bought all the clothes for me, so who was I to complain? The rest of my time was spent helping Alex study. It wasn't such an easy task considering he looked so damn adorable when he was confused. He was way too irresistible.

Now, here I was, standing in front of the mirror and looking at the girl in front of me. She looked scared, maybe even a little lost, but completely excited at the same time if you can imagine that. Her long blonde hair was down laying in curly tendrils against her shoulders. Her sparkly silver shoes gleamed from beneath her long gown. Her baby blue eyes stood out against her pale skin and white gown. Her jittery hands grabbed on to the silver heart-shaped necklace that hung around her neck and she slowly presented me with a smile full of reminiscence.

I watched the mirror as I saw my mother's hands appear out of nowhere. She reached up and pinned my graduation cap to the top of my head and then gave my shoulders a loving squeeze.

"I can't believe my baby is about to graduate," she nearly sobbed as I turned around to face her. "You look so beautiful."

"Thanks, Mom," I said, smiling at her. "I have you and Dad to thank for those good genes."

"You are so sweet," my mom said as she touched my face lovingly. "I couldn't have asked for a better daughter. When you were little, you used to tell me how you wanted to be a princess, but you were always a princess to your father and me. Now, you have grown up to be such a beautiful young woman with such a big heart. Everyone I know has told me about what a great person you are. Whenever somebody needs help or needs someone to talk to, you are always the first one there. And I don't know anyone else that got a record deal, recorded an entire album, and still managed to graduate high school with honors. I could not be prouder of you if I tried." When she stopped speaking, she wiped a tear from her right eye.

"Again, I have you to thank for that," I responded. "You and Dad have always been there for me both physically and emotionally. Whenever I needed someone to talk to, I knew I could always come to you no matter what. You guys always supported me and made me want to be the best that I could be, so my success is partly because of you. It's so hard to believe this day has finally come."

"Tell me about it. When you first become a parent and you hold your beautiful baby girl in your arms for the first time, the only thing you can feel at that moment is pure joy. Then, your baby starts to grow up. She goes through puberty, begins to date boys, then, before you know it, she's eighteen years old and about to graduate high school. It seems like your childhood went by with a blink of an eye. Every minute I spend with you is precious and it's hard to think about how you will be leaving me soon. At the same time, I know that it's time to let you go so that you can open your wings and fly." She took me in her arms and we held each other for a little while and cried. Guilt washed over me as I thought about how I would have to leave my parents behind. I was really going to miss them.

A few minutes later, my dad yelled up the stairs and told us to come down. It was time for pictures. My mom and I checked our makeup quickly in the mirror to make sure it didn't smudge and then made our way downstairs. When we came off the steps, my dad told us to go outside and we saw that the Gaskarths were already gathered on our front lawn.

"Taylor, you look absolutely gorgeous!" Melanie exclaimed once she saw me. She immediately gave me a motherly hug. Robert did the same and I just smiled and thanked them in return.

"Ok, now go join Alex over by that bush," my dad instructed and I did as I was told.

Alex stood there in his red cap and gown, his eyes aglow with fierce anticipation. When he looked at me, he gave me the biggest smile he could muster. Now, I might be biased, but he has the best, most contagious smile that I have ever seen. Naturally, I could not help but return the favor. As I walked over to him, Alex opened his arms up to me. Once he held me in his arms, I could not help but relax a little bit. I knew that, even if I tripped and fell and made a complete fool of myself onstage, he would never turn his back on me, at least not again. He was still and would always be my confidant, my savior, my rock.

The next half hour was spent taking pictures in every single way you could imagine. I could tell that my parents were planning to make a whole photo album out of this day. Alex and I took pictures together, alone, with our parents, with each other's parents, and finally, we were able to stop someone on the sidewalk so that we could get a picture all together. There was just one person that was missing. We all felt that absence, but none of us dared to say anything.

Finally, Alex and I got into his car and headed to our high school. Graduation would be held in our auditorium. The seniors had to be there early and Alex and I had decided that we wanted one more day to drive to school together.

"I can't believe this is our last time taking this ride as high school students," I said as we pulled out of his driveway.

"I know," he agreed. "It's crazy. I've been looking forward to this day for months now, but I still can't believe it's actually here. I'm really going to miss doing this every morning with you. We've had a lot of good memories on this ride."

"But at least we can still make good memories together on tour. There will be plenty of rides for us to take then," I replied.

"This is true. I can't wait to make those new memories." He smiled at me quickly and then his eyes turned back to the road ahead.

"Remember when we first drove to school together?" I asked.

"Yeah," he nodded and then let out a chuckle as he remembered. "We were with Eric. He let me drive to school even though I was only a sophomore with a permit. You were freaking out because you thought we were going to get pulled over and he told you to just be quiet and enjoy the ride."

"Then you went through a red light and almost killed us," I laughed.

"Hey, that light came out of nowhere!" he defended.

"Uh huh." I rolled my eyes. "You know, the funny thing is, that might have been the best advice anyone could have ever given me." I looked down at my lap as I recalled that day. "As simple as it was, it really made me think about the kind of person I was and the kind of person I wanted to be. Back then, I was always the worrier, the party pooper. Then, I saw the way Eric was and how everybody loved him and I decided I didn't want to be that person anymore because that person annoyed me."

"Well, you can be anyone you want around me," he replied. Then he let out a long sigh and asked a question. "Do you think he's really up there? Like in heaven and all that?"

"I'd like to think so," I answered. After Eric's death, I had thought about the afterlife a lot. I always wondered if he could see what we were doing or how far we had come. It comforted me to believe that he could. "I always like to believe he's up there watching out for us."

"I talk to him sometimes when other people aren't around," Alex said. "It helps me to get my feelings out and still feel like he's apart of me. I like to think that he's actually listening, but I can never be sure. I really wish he could have been here today."

"Me too," I agreed. "I think he would be really proud of us though nonetheless. Look at all we have accomplished. Most people can't do what we have done in the course of a lifetime and it took us only about six months to get record contracts, record entire albums, graduate high school, and have a whole tour planned out. That's definitely something to be proud of."

"When you put it that way, we do sound pretty fucking rad," Alex smiled.

"Are you kidding? We're amazing!" I practically cheered and he just laughed in response. He turned into our school's lot and parked his car. He took my hand and we walked inside where it was completely chaotic. All you could see was red and white moving everywhere while kids tried desperately to find out where they were supposed to be. We made our way through the crowd and somehow found the rest of our friends who were congregated near our old lockers.

When Jack saw me, in true Barakuda fashion, he ran up and jumped into my arms.

"Taylor!" he screamed in my ear. "I've missed you so much, best friend! It's been too long since I saw you last!"

I laughed and said, "If by 'too long' you mean last night, then yes, Jack, it has been way too long."

"Hey, how come I don't get a hug like that every time you see me, huh Jack?" Alex brooded. "I thought you loved me!" He brought his hand to his face and pretended to cry.

"Oh, Darling, I'm so sorry!" said Jack as he went to give Alex a hug. "I didn't forget you. I was just saving the best for last. You know I love you!"

Zack just rolled his eyes and said, "Sometimes, they act so gay that they make Burt and Ernie look straight." Everyone else could not help but laugh.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to see Katelyn smiling at me in her identical white gown.

"Hey, Taylor, can I talk to you for a second?" she asked.

"Yeah, sure," I responded. "What's up?"

"I guess I just wanted to say I'm sorry again that I was such a huge bitch to you last fall. You were the last person who deserved that kind of treatment. The fact that you decided to forgive me just shows what a good person you are because I don't think I would have forgiven myself if I was in your shoes."

"That's all water under the bridge," I said. "A wise person used to say, 'The past is the past, so don't make it last', and I don't intend to. You have changed for the better and you don't deserve to be punished for that."

"Thank you," she said sincerely. "Now that I am with Jack officially, I hope that we can be friends."

"I think we can make that happen," I smiled at her. In response, she gave me a hug.

"Hey, everyone, listen up," Jack screamed over the crowds of people. "I have a proposal to make." The rest of my friends and I turned our attention toward him.

"We're leaving for tour next week. Katelyn and I have just started our relationship and I know Rian is going to miss Kara a ton while he's away. My proposal is this: I think Katelyn and Kara should be able to come on tour with us. They won't start school until August and we will be almost done with the tour by then, so it's perfect! Also, this way Taylor does not have to be the only girl. What do you guys say?"

"I say hell yeah!" I cheered.

"Right on!" Jack said as he gave me a high five. "What about you guys?"

"I'm fine with it just as long as everyone else is," Alex responded. Everyone else agreed, so Katelyn and Kara would be joining us on tour. We decided that, if there was not enough room for all of us on the All Time Low bus, Alex and I would just go sleep on my bus, but none of us honestly saw that as a problem.

A few minutes later, an announcement came over the loudspeaker telling us that it was now time for us to find our places because the ceremony was about to begin. Alex gave me a quick kiss and my hand a tight squeeze as we parted. We found our spaces in line and waited patiently. When "Pomp and Circumstance" began to play, my heart stopped for a second and then began to beat really rapidly. Here we go...

The line began to move and slowly everyone entered into the auditorium. This was really happening. I could see my family standing up in the seats to the side. All four of them were waving at me furiously with smiles on their faces and my dad was snapping a way with his camera. Thank God no one else was paying attention to them.

Once the music stopped playing, we found our seats and the long array of speeches began. A lot of my classmates said some really uplifting words that made me think about the time I spent in high school. Even though I was excited to leave high school behind, a part of me would miss it. Everything started for me here.

When the choir got up to sing "In My Life" by the Beatles, I smiled when I saw that they had a guitarist to accompany them. It brought me four years back to Alex's and my eighth grade graduation when we performed "Time of Your Life" together. That day was my first time ever performing in front of a crowd. Now, I was about to go on tour and perform in front of thousands of people. The though almost made me shudder in anticipation.

When the song ended and the principle stepped up to the podium, I began to get jittery. As he called names one by one, I could feel the nerves start to build up in my stomach and chest. I couldn't believe this was really happening.

"Jack Bassam Barakat," came the principle's voice. I watched Jack as he made his way to the stage. When he received his diploma, he did a happy little jump in the air and the audience cheered. Leave it to Jack to be theatrical.

"Rian Dawson." I laughed as Rian practically ran to the stage to get his diploma. He never liked being the center of attention, which was why he was the drummer in the band.

"Kara Diakoulas." Kara walked up to the stage and accepted her diploma as if she owned the place. I was jealous of the grace and poise that girl had and I could not be happier to have her with me for the summer. I would miss her too much if I had to leave her behind. After all, she was the one who helped me get Alex. I would be forever indebted to her.

After Kara, the principle read more names and then it was Katelyn's turn. When her name was called, she walked confidently up to the stage and accepted her diploma. She turned back toward the audience and gave Jack a wide smile when he cheered for her. I hoped more than anything that their relationship would work out. Jack deserved to be happy and somehow I thought she could do that for him.

"Alexander William Gaskarth." As Alex made his way to the stage, I could tell he felt the same way I did—nervous, but excited at the same time. When he got his diploma, everyone cheered, but I cheered the loudest. When his eyes found mine, he shot me a huge, winning smile. I could tell how happy he was and I was so proud of him.

Some more names were read and then it was Zack's turn. When he got up to the stage and received his diploma, he proceeded to hold it in one hand and then flex his huge muscle in the other, causing the audience to burst into laughter. Zack never passed up an opportunity to show off his body and he was not going to start now.

When the principle got to the letter S, my hands began to shake slightly.

"Taylor Alison Swift."

There it was.

I gulped and began to make my way up to the stage. My face burned ever so slightly when I saw the members of my family jumping out of their seats and cheering for me and Jack and Alex howled my name. I made sure to hold my gown up so that I would not trip over it and embarrass myself in front of my whole world. When the diploma was finally placed in my hand, something inside of me changed. I was no longer anxious or scared; I was exuberant. I had finally made it through high school and came out on the other side with flying colors. Despite all the drama and heartbreak and death, I was still here and I made it out stronger than ever before. To be completely honest, it felt damn good.

When graduation was over, I immediately found Alex and ran into his arms.

"We did it!" I cheered.

"Yes, we definitely did," he said as he pulled me in for a kiss.

After the ceremony, our parents took Alex and I out to a celebratory dinner at The Melting Pot. Dinner was spent reminiscing about our childhood and our parents continued to tell us that we had grown up too fast. Later, Alex's parents were kind enough to let us have a graduation party at his house. They even allowed us to have some alcohol as long as no one drove and everyone was being safe.

People began to arrive at the house around 8:00 that night. By 10:00, the house was packed. I guess everyone in school knew that Alex Gaskarth and Jack Barakat threw great parties. Music blared through the speakers of Alex's iHome and the furniture was pushed to the side so that people could dance. There was a beer pong table in the basement and most of the booze was in the kitchen. Melanie and Robert collected everyone's keys at the door so that they could not leave.

Around 11pm, Jack made his way toward the source of the music and paused it. "Can I have everyone's attention please?" he asked and everyone turned their attention toward him as he raised his red cup in the air. "I would like to propose a toast. First of all, I would like to dedicate this toast to Alex Gaskarth and his parents for letting us have this awesome party." Everyone let out a loud collective cheer. "Now, I can honestly say that this year has been a fucking roller coaster. It has had its ups and its downs, but it was all worth it for the most part. To us because we are finally fucking high school graduates! Woo!" Again, everyone cheered and we all took sips of our drinks. After the toast, Zack walked over to the TV and put a surprise video montage of the Dulaney Valley High School Class of 2010 into the DVD player. It showed everything from the beginning of school to Halloween to Spirit Week to prom. I buried my face in the nearest pillow when the camera zoomed in on Alex and I making out in the middle of the dance floor at prom and everyone started making fun of us.

Alex's parents cut the alcohol off at midnight, so, when the party officially ended at two in the morning, everyone was pretty much sobered up enough to drive home. Those that weren't were already sprawled out on the couch or on the floor. Once everyone left, Alex took my hand and led me up to his room.

"Is it time for bed yet? I asked sleepily. "I so tired that, if you push me, I might fall over and never get back up."

"Yes, but there's something we need to do really quickly first," he replied.

"What's that?" I asked as I sat down on his bed.

He took out a huge package from his closet and said, "I have to give you your graduation present."

"And I have to give you yours!" I replied, internally smacking myself for not remembering to give him his gift. I walked over to my purse, which was laying on his desk, and took out his two thin rectangular presents which looked minuscule compared to whatever he got me. "You first," I insisted as I sat back on the bed and shoved his presents into his hands. I could not wait to see how he reacted.

"Fiiine," he sighed as he began to open the first one. When he saw what it was, he nearly screamed and dropped it as if it had electrocuted him. His mouth hung open as he stared at it desperately trying to believe his eyes.

"Do you like it?" I asked anxiously.

At first, he could not seem to speak, but when he finally did, he said, "Oh. My. Fucking. God. I can't believe you got me a personalized copy of _Enema of the State _signed by every member of Blink-182. How-how did you even get this?"

"I got my cousin who works for MTV to get it for me when she interviewed them for a story on their reunion."

Anyone who knew Alex knew that Blink-182 was his absolute favorite band of all time ever since he was little. If he ever personally met Mark Hoppus or Tom DeLonge or even Travis Barker, I think he would have a heart attack.

"Thank you so much!" he exclaimed excitedly. "I can't believe you did this! I can't wait to show this to the guys and see how jealous they are." I laughed and he reached over and pulled me in for another kiss.

"Open the next one!" I demanded when we pulled apart.

He tore open the wrapping paper to reveal a small black picture frame, but it was what was inside the picture frame that counted. He looked at it closely and then said, "Wow, this is a ticket to the very first concert we ever played together."

I smiled and nodded. "Yup and there will be many more of those to come."

"I can't wait," he said smiling at me. "Thank you. Both of these gifts mean so much to me. I love you so much."

"Ditto," I said as I returned the smile.

"Ok, now it's your turn!" he said excitedly. He placed the large present on my lap and I began to tear it open. Once all the wrapping paper was off, I was greeted with a simple white box. I impatiently threw the lid aside and was astounded at the shape of the large, black case inside.

"Oh, Alex, you didn't!" I said as I took the black case out of the white box and crouched down as I set it on the floor.

"I did," he affirmed.

I unlatched the hinges on the side and lifted the lid of the black case to find a shiny brand new acoustic guitar. As I looked it over, I saw that my name was engraved in the bottom of it along with my lucky number 13. The sight of it nearly took my breath away. I lifted it up out of its case and began to strum away at its strings. "It's so beautiful," I said, turning to Alex. "Thank you so much." For some reason, my eyes began to brim with tears and he smiled as he wiped them away.

"You're welcome. I thought maybe you could use a new one on tour. I hope you like it."

"Like it? I _love_ it! Not only is it beautiful, but it came from you, which makes it even better."

"I can't wait to hear the music that you make with it."

"For now, how about you and I make some music together. Some very loud music," I said suggestively. Suddenly, I wasn't so tired anymore.

"Let's get on that," he agreed. His lips met mine and I carefully set my new guitar back in its case as Alex and I began to shed our clothes and make our way back to his bed.

One week later, I took a long look at my room. Even though none of the furniture had been moved, it just looked so empty without all of my clothes and things on top of my desk, dresser, and night table. It felt as if I was moving out. I had so many good memories in this room from when I was little all the way up until last night when Alex and I had written to each other on our white boards for the last time in a long time. Somehow the reality that Alex and I were leaving for tour today had not set in until this very moment.

I turned when I heard someone knock on my door and Alex came in.

'Hey," he said. "The van is here to pick us up. Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah," I said, even though that answer was slightly a lie. "I'll be down soon." He went back downstairs to wait for me.

I couldn't help but feel like I was leaving something behind. I had grown up in this room and lived here for most of my life. This may sound kind of weird, but I knew I was going to miss my room once I was on the tour bus. Moving out of my room was almost equivalent to leaving my childhood and entering my adulthood. I couldn't help but feel a small sense of loss. When I finally got up the nerve, I followed in Alex's footsteps. I shut the door on this chapter of my life and began to make my way downstairs and into my future. Now my thoughts were on the incredible journey that lay ahead of me.

The End.

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